[YMS] He explains that Israel knows a lot
more about this situation than everybody else. "Alright, time to go to Israel! Everybody needs to be super
quiet right now. Ah, shit! This is like the worst possible time
you could have tried to call me!" Apparently, it takes 45 seconds to load up this giant
plane with enough fuel to get from South Korea to Israel. So yeah, without even looking into it,
it seems distractingly ridiculous. Now, I've been wrong on hunches like that
before, so I decided I would look into it. And yep, not only would it be ridiculous to assume that
they would be able to get there on 45 seconds worth of fuel, but apparently, they would need, like,
two full tanks to get there regardless. There's no mention of needing to refuel
anywhere, so I guess just don't think about it! So our characters arrive at this airport, and then 22
seconds of screentime later, they arrive at Jerusalem. So now, we get a bunch of boring
cookie-cutter intelligence dialogue, and this guys explains that although Jerusalem
is quarantine, they're actually letting people in. Everytime we see the outside walls, we can see
that the perimeter is surrounded by zombies, so where the fuck are these
people getting in from? How are you orchestrating this? They have a zombie-proof ground level tunnel that leads
inside, but where the fuck are the busses coming in? No matter how wide the shots are, the
tunnels just keep going out of frame. The busses have to be coming in somewhere. What kind of set-up do you have to get the
busses in without also getting the zombies in? Could they not break through the
glass on the windows of this bus? How are they filtering out the humans
from the zombies to put on these busses? With the amount that are out there, you would
think that bullets wouldn't matter too much, especially considering the
last few scenes we watched. So these guys keep talking, and at this point
you can really see evidence of those rewrites. In the original script, they referenced Russia in this
scene, but since they completely rewrote the third act, they just replaced the word Russia with
India, using a distractingly noticeable dub. [clip] If I could get into India, where
would I start? Who would I speak with? India is a black hole. [YMS] So in the original ending, Brad Pitt
was supposed to go to a giant battle in Russia, and in the rewrites, he instead goes to Wales. So the character never winds up going to
Russia, but they changed the line to India, which they also never wind up going to. Like, is there any reason why you had to dub over
that line, considering you also didn't go to India? And to make things extra confusing,
here's a clip from trailer 2, less than three months before
the film was released in theaters: [clip] If I could get into
Russia, where would I start? - Russia is a black whole.
- I need answers. [YMS] What the fuck happened between March
and June of 2013 that made you feel as though you had to add in a distractingly shitty dub that
doesn't change the outcome of the film whatsoever? I'm trying to understand the logic behind
this decision, but I'm not sure there is any. So these people start having a
good old-fashioned singing break, and oh, no! The zombies can hear you now! Only now do the zombies realise
that there's people to eat in there. So now, the zombies start making a
wall on top of themselves to get in, and this was only influenced by the
sound of them singing inside. This was not influenced in
any way by Brad Pitt's arrival. Seriously, he hasn't even been there five
minutes, and this is when it's happening. "What a coincidence that this major event just
happened to take place shortly after I got here!" Time to cue in some stock Hollywood action music! [♪ Marco Beltrami - The Salvation Gates ♪] I mean, not only would the scene be more
effective and intense without music at all, but can anybody seriously say they would even notice if
they heard this soundtrack reused later in a different film? Much like the intro to this film, when something is done
the exact same cookie-cutter way every single goddamn time, it's impossible for me to feel the intented effects when
I have already been long since been desensitized to it. The formulated checklist standard that we accept for films
today is what will be parodied twenty years from now, and this entire film completely unironically
breathes the very essence of that checklist, with it's unbearably bland soundtrack only further
solidifying how recycled and unspecial this film is. "Hey, I know I've been running for my life and coming within
inches of death multiple times throughout this sequence, but golly gee, it looks like I have just enough time
to stop running and notice an important event that happens to be taking place in
front of me as the main character! I sure am lucky that this event happened during the brief
few seconds where there were no zombies right behind me. I mean, what are the odds of that happening!" So this girl gets bit on her hand,
and he decides to cut it off. Oh hey, that's a lot of blood! Maybe PG-13 movies
aren't as horribly sterilised as I th... Oh wait. I forgot we were still watching the unrated
version, and not the theatrical release. Yep, this is the movie we're
selling you in theaters. The amount of blood you would loose
from cutting off your arm is apparently none. If we're gonna show this movie
to children, it would be irresponsible to show the consequences of
cutting off one of your limbs. The violence: that's okay, just as long as
we can pretend that blood doesn't exist. [clip] - I don't want blood!
- Jesus, what are you doing? - Just trying to explain plumbing.
- Well, stop. - God, I can't do this now.
- You don't have to worry, honey, you don't have blood. - Well, I don't think you should tell
her that she doesn't have blood. [YMS] They then reincorporate
the child's counting toy. [clip] one thousand one... one
thousand two... one thousand three... one thousand eight... We gotta move! [YMS] That's right, it's been
twelve seconds, you're good. Because he heard the thing
while he saw the transformation, he knows how long it takes for
them to tu... Wait a minute! Why are you still using that toy as
a reference when in the very last scene you were told by several people that
they've seen it take five to ten minutes? [clip] - The ones I saw bitten turned
in twelve seconds, same here?
- Five or ten minutes. Yeah, Davidson went and he turned in ten minutes. [YMS] Did you forget this? Because it seems
like the script was written by more than o... Oh. That's right, it's been
twelve seconds, you're good. "Oh, no! We're running out
of ways to escape this place! Oh hey! A plane that just got here! Quickly, let's pretend like we're about to
climb up this computer generated ladder and hope that the shot cuts to the next scene
before we actually put any weight on it. Alright, now quickly help me up. These computer
generated latters don't hold much weight. So they escape the danger, and Brad Pitt
uses some vodka to sterilise the wound. WHO THE FUCK IS THIS??? And then she's like: "How did you know that
cutting my hand off would stop the infection?" And he's like: "I didn't", to which
she replies: "Now I'm just... a liability." "Uh oh, you just triggered
me into having a flashback!" Now, given the context of the scene and what
she just said about possibly becoming a liability, you would expect that his flashback
would reference when they told him that it could take up to ten minutes for
someone to show signs of being infected. Especially considering that it seems as though not
even ten minutes have passed since she's been bitten. Instead, he has a flashback to a completely different
and less relevant line in the exact same scene. [clip] Stands right in the mix, while seven
or eight of them turn Zeke all at the same time. - Is that how you tweaked your leg?
- No, shit's been bugging me a while. [YMS] You see, the third act's coming up, and the
main character has to have an excuse to get there. "Liability? Eureka!" You obviously care enough about how long it takes for
someone to turn into a zombie, considering this scene, but when they tell you that it takes
much longer than you previously thought, you just didn't consider that to be important
enough information to try and remember? "You're the best man, Gerry.
We can't do this operation without you." So now, he calls his UN buddy to find out
where the closest medical testing facility is. Oh hey look! The dog senses danger,
that's never been done before! So now the back half of the plane is fucked,
so the people at the front of the plane are like: "Let's just build a barrier of suitcases
and hope they don't notice us." And it almost seems as though it would
have worked, except this guy fucks it up. "GUUUUUUUUUUUURL!" I love this guy's hand movement. "Ey, what's you doing, Girl!" Oh hey! A stock female scream sound
effect that I've never heard before! [stock female sound effect] So Brad Pitt decides the plane is fucked
anyway, so he throws a grenade. Most of the zombies get sucked out of the plane,
but they are able to strap themselves in. Oh hey! It looks like they're the
only survivors of this plane crash, and it just so happened to crash within
walking distance of their destination, yaay! So now, because they think that he's dead,
they're kicking his family off the boat. What fucking assholes! Where the fuck are you putting them? [child scream] [clip] Daddy! Daddy! [YMS] REALLY? Out of all the things you could have
flashbacked to, you chose this shot. "Aaaaaaaaah". "Hey uh, just in case you forgot: Brad Pitt, he's really
worried about his family, and he wants to save them. You know, just in case his motivations weren't really clear,
we just thought we'd dumb it down for you a little." So he wakes up, and apparently,
he's been out for three days. He calls up his UN buddy, so
these guys know who he is, but when his UN buddy explains that his family is not
there, Brad Pitt has quite the entertaining response. [clip] I'm sorry, Gerry. I did what I could. [groaning] What does that mean? You've got to calm down. No, stop!
Stop. You're going to hurt yourself. [YMS] You know, even though Brad Pitt's
performance in this movie has been kinda ehhh, I usually consider him to be a pretty great actor. Now, it is unfortunate to see him often get
typecast as just Brad Pitt playing Brad Pitt, and even though there have been movies
where he's done a good job doing just that, those aren't really the roles
that allow him to shine. The characters that he plays best are
usually the ones that are the most unique. When he's given the opportunity to actually explore,
understand and develop his character, he does a great job. [clip] More games. Games, they vegetize you. See? If you
play the games you're voluntarily taking a tranquilizer. I... I guess they gave you some
chemical restraints, huh? DRUGS! What'd they give you? Thorazine?
Haldol? How much, how much? - Learn your drugs, know your dosages, it's elementary.
- I need to make a telephone call. Telephone call? Telephone call? That's communication
with the outside world. Doctor's discretion. [YMS] But when the entirety of your character can
only be described as "I am a former UN investigator!", mixed with the fact that his supposed intelligent
professionalism can be found nowhere in this entire movie, then as an actor, he's got
fucking nothing to work with. "Hmm, how would Gerry Lane react to this scene?" [clip] Gerry, a handful of SEAL's will go with you as security force.
- No. [YMS] Does anybody even give a
shit about characters anymore? How many people saw this movie because they wanted
to see Brad Pitt play a character in a zombie movie, and how many people saw this movie because
they wanted to see Brad Pitt in a zombie movie? [clip] In a world, where zombies have already
infected every facet of pop culture, comes... another zombie movie. But this time... it's got Brad Pitt! [YMS] "Alright Brad, here's your inspiration.
You see, Gerry Lane has a wife and children, and so... whenever he does something in this movie, it's not
a selfish act, he's doing it for his wife and children. Just pretend you also have a wife and children, and
act as though you're trying to do things for them. No Brad, your wife and children aren't
accessories, they're character enhancers. What do you mean you
have nothing to work with? You know what fuck it. Don't even bother, people will
just project themselves onto you anyway. Alright action!" [groaning] What does that mean? You've got to calm down. No, stop!
Stop. You're going to hurt yourself. [YMS] "Braaaa! What does that mean? Braaaa!" Brad Pitt learns that his family has been
relocated to a refugee camp in Nova Scotia, so now, he has a chat with these
people to explain his crazy theory. [clip] - He wants the what?
- Deathly pathogen. With a high mortality rate. But curable. Mr. Lane believes we can use
such a disease against the undead. One of the many things a virus or
bacteria needs to thrive is a live host. A functioning circulatory system. It's not for them. It's for us. I believe these things have a weakness.
And that weakness is weakness. I have witnessed them
literally bypass people. Walk right around them like a
river around a rock. Why? I think, because those people were
sick. I think they were terminal. And these things could sense it. I think they're spreading a pathogen,
and they need a healthy host. [Internal screaming: WHAAAAT] I don't know, wouldn't that theory make a lot more sense if the
zombies still bit the people but they just didn't become infected? Like okay, I get if you want to say the virus needs a healthy
host, even if it kills people within ten minutes anyway, but that doesn't explain how the virus was
able to manipulate human sensory organs into being able to detect life threatening diseases
without even going anywhere near a person. Apparently, the zombies don't even have
to do so much as take a whiff of somebody to know that they're not a good
host to transmit the virus to. Are we supposed to believe that
the zombies aren't using their eyes? Like all those ones that were chasing
Brad Pitt and his family from super far away weren't doing it because they saw him, but
because they could smell him really far away? Remember, they went after you without even noticing this
homeless guy, so you must have been admitting quite the stank. Like come on, just because your name is Brad Pitt
doesn't mean you should stop using deodorant. [ba dum tsss] The fact that this zombie wants to kill all of you in this room
doesn't have to do with the fact that it can see or hear you. No, it senses that you're a healthy host. Its eyes actually don't do anything and it
was just detecting pheromones this whole time. Are the zombies the Ursa? The only zombie that looks like he was even
thinking of going near this kid was this one. So maybe they're a hivemind and the other
ones ignored him because this one ignored him? Except for the fact that there was another zombie
in front of him that wasn't aiming near the kid at all? He didn't even so much as change his trajectory. So from ten feet away, this zombie just looks
at this kid and he's like: "Nope, he's sick!" Alright, so even if we assume that it makes any sense
that the zombies would be able to detect whether or not you're a healthy host without biting you or smelling
you or coming into any contact with you whatsoever, there's still one tiny little
problem with your theory: [clip] Oh, so people who are sick
are not being attacked? Hm-mm. There should be like thousands of examples?
In America alone? Hm-mm. Okay. Thanks, Rick. Okay, we figured it out. False alarm,
Gerry. We do not need you anymore. Sooooooooo.... [YMS] Let's just forget about the 1.1 million
people living in the United States with HIV that would probably notice a trend with
zombies not coming after them and all. "All my friends are dead, except every
single person in my support group." "Who's on God's side now, BIATCH!" Whatever, I guess it doesn't matter,
and none of the top scientists in the room are interested in
doing any sort of critical thinking. [clip] - Do we have what we need to try it?
- We have all we could want. Typhus, H1N1, SARS. The problem is, they're all stored in B-Wing. What's the matter with B-Wing? Doctor Spellman, our chief vaccinologist. Within hours of the outbreak, he'd been sent blood
samples to try and isolate the pathogenic cause. Unfortunately... ...this is B-Wing now. [YMS] Really? You had one job! Not only did you have one job, but it IS
your job! You're the chief vaccinologist! Is is a common occurrence in this line
of work, or is this just one more to add to the list of "Ridiculous conveniences
surrounding Brad Pitt's character"? Also, what the fuck even happened? Did you prick yourself, because I don't
see what you would have done that on. "Oops! I accidentally got some of that pathogen
on my glove. Here, let me fling it all over myself." [sighs] [♪ Cali Swag District - Teach Me How To Dougie ♪] So they removed the blockade from B-Wing, and
three of them go out to retrieve the deadly virusses. We get a tense scene where they all
sneak past these zombies one by one. You know, I get that you're sneaking around,
'cause you don't want the zombies to hear you, and the miniscule noises you wind up
making do seem to attract their attention, but aren't the zombies also making a decent
amount of noise by dragging their feet everywhere and also bashing their heads
against the walls for no reason? Why are the zombies so interested in the noises that you're
making and not the noises that the other zombies are making? [bang by zombie] "Hmm, I heard a loud bang,
but based on how it sounds, it doesn't seem like they're a healthy
host, so I'm not gonna worry about it." [bang by a person] "SHIT!" So Brad Pitt decides that he is going to
nobly sacrifice himself for the greater good. These guys wind up having to run
back and make it just in time. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt manages to
make it to the vault by himself. So they call him from the security
room to give him the password. I like how this information
wasn't discussed beforehand. Like yeah, I guess they were planning
for all three of them to make it there, but you don't think it would have made
a little bit of sense to plan for the worst? Better yet, if you have the ability to call
all of these phones throughout B-Wing, wouldn't it have been smart to
use that to your advantage? If unnatural noises get their attention, would
it not have been cool to see the characters lure the zombies away from where they
need to be, by making strategic phone calls? It's believable that people wouldn't think of that
idea, so I'm not trying to pass it off as a flaw, but that could have been a cool scene,
right? Where is my twenty million dollars? Anyway, it seems like the phone call might have actually
attracted the attention of one particular zombie. And mister "Super Genius" has conveniently
left his crowbar outside of the room he's in. If he hadn't done that, then
he could kill this one zombie and then go back to the phone for
instructions on which virusses to bring. But nope, our main character is as
experienced and intelligent as they come. He's in the room for quite a while
before the zombie even shows up. It's obvious that he has no
idea what the fuck he's doing, but instead of going back to
the phone that's right outside, he just looks at the camera like
"Duuuuuuuh, what do I do guys?" [clip] Not that one. Not that one. [YMS] So he leaves his crowbar outside and then spends
almost a full minute dicking around before a zombie shows up. "Gerry, you're the most qualified person
on this ship, we can't do it without you." [clip] The Under-Secretary here says you were
his best investigator when you were at the UN. [YMS] That's like all there is to his character and almost
everything he does in this fucking movie goes completely against it. Well, I guess he's just really lucky that
this zombie doesn't start bashing his head against the glass like that other
zombie earlier felt compelled to do. Maybe he's detecting the pheromones coming
off of the glass and can sense that it's bulletproof. So now, he decides that the only way he's ever going to get past
that one zombie is if he injects himself with one of the virusses. And again, he has no idea what the fuck he's doing, so
there's a good chance he's going to kill himself instantly. [clip] If he uses anything he took from that left case... ...he's dead anyway. [YMS] Man, if only there were some
way for them to communicate with him. Like, if the security camera watching him had some sort of motor
in it that they could control and make yes or no motions with. Isn't that kind of exactly what that
joystick that you showed earlier is for? I honestly thought that that was going to happen,
especially considering Brad Pitt has a pen and paper that he can use to ask yes or no
questions about the samples. But nope, he has to be a noble main
character and sacrifice himself maybe. It's too bad nobody thought of this. "What's that? A motorised camera? Eureka!
Now I can tell them I'm killing myself!" So even if that noise was just a lens focussing
and the camera can't actually move, why doesn't he just hold up different
samples at the camera one at a time and ask them to call the phone
outside if he has a correct one? He can hear that zombie clicking it's teeth
pretty well, so I doubt the room is soundproof. Is it not even worth it to sit down
for like five fucking minutes and try to think about how you could do this
without potentially killing yourself? Well, I guess it doesn't matter, because
he injects himself with who-knows-what. He waits a while and opens the door, and the
zombie is like: "Wha- Where'd you goooooo?" Yeah, time to cue the triumphant music. "Man, I should really get all
these samples back, but first:" [♪ Marco Beltrami - Like a river around a rock ♪] [♪ Michael Jackson - Pepsi generation ♪] [♪ Michael Jackson - Pepsi generation ♪]
[combined with "Spicy Pepsi"] [YMS] Hey, what a wild coincidence that this drink is made by
the same bottling company as this other drink in the movie, and this other drink in the movie,
and this other drink in the movie, and this other drink in the movie,
and this other drink in the movie, [clip] The movie keeps right on going
and nobody in the audience has any idea. Nobody knows that they saw it, but they did. A nice, big cock. Product placement doesn't necessarily
make or break a film for me. In fact, I can think of another zombie movie that I love in
which the product placement for this scene is pretty similar. But not only has the product placement for
this film been nothing short of excessive already, but watching this scene, it feels less
like they put a product in the movie and more like they put an entire
TV advertisement in the movie. Like seriously, just pretend that
Pepsi is Mentos for a second. "Awh, shucks! There's a bunch
of zombies in my way! I'm just going to take a taste of
this specific brand named "Product". Eureka! I found the solution to this
problem, and my mouth tastes delicious!" Plot twist: the injection didn't work. The zombies only ran past him, because
who couldn't resist the taste of a cold Pepsi? Wow! The random injection I gave myself
just happens to be instantly curable, yes! So Brad Pitt leaves, and then goes to Nova Scotia
and meets up with his family again, yaaaaaaay! Everything just happened to work out! [evil laugh] We get a montage of uplifting clips showing
humans fighting zombies and winning. And you guessed it, it's open for a sequel. [clip] Our war has just begun.
[YMS] The end. [♪ Muse - Isolated System ♪] [clip] You know, you're really pushing the boundaries
this whole way throughout the making of this film. You always wanted to more, more, more.
Kind of bigger, more violence, more... Well if we're gonna do it, we want to uh... we want
to be authentic, we want to originate in some way. So we worked really hard at it, and that's why
it's taken so many years to get it to the screen. We're really proud of it, because we'd done just that,
and uh, we're really excited for people to see it. Well, it is, like I said, my wife and I saw it, I guess
last Wednesday, and we kind of walked out with our heads just shaking, after
two hours, takes a lot to recover from. [YMS] So all in all, World War Zed, I
mean Zee was kind of a crappy movie. I'll agree that the movie does get a lot better as soon
as his useless family isn't around every scene, but does no one find it even a little depressing that this
is not only the highest grossing zombie film ever made, but it's also the highest grossing
film of Brad Pitt's entire career? [YMS] That's right, Hollywood. Listen up, the people have
spoken, and what we want is more poorly executed bullshit. Please continue whitewashing more
films to pander towards a PG-13 rating, and we'll continue to reward you by
giving you hundreds of millions of dollars! Well, here's to hoping that
the sequel is slightly different. [♪ Mentos: The Freshmaker Song ♪] [♪ It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes
better in life, with Mentos fresh and full of life! Nothing gets to you, staying fresh staying
cool, with Mentos, fresh and full of life! Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness, fresh goes
better with Mentos, fresh and full of life! ♪] Mentos: The Freshmaker! Hey guys! I just wanted to say... Oh wait! Look! Down there! It's
a bunch of names coming up, and they all look like they're
names of cool people. Would you like to be a
cool person? I think you do. If so: you should go to Patreon.com/YMS, and
you'll probably be a cool person if you go there. Also, do you like video games? Because I
have a twitch account. Woooooooooooh. And you can watch me play video games live, and it's like a big Q&A of your fourth favorite
movie reviewer on the whole internet. And if I get enough wa...fa...watchers on my Twitch
account, or enough people watch... that's the same thing. Then I'll get the option, the quality changing
option at the... on the conrner of the video. It's like 7:30 in the morning. I haven't slept. Been editing all night. Mark English from Hollywood Studios
is the editor for my gaming channel. I think he's doing a great job, you should check out
one of the videos he edited for my gaming channel. I also upload the streams to Youtube. I hope you
enjoyed my video of World War Zombie, starring Brad. Thank you... ...for watching. [Subtitles by Abel Boeschoten]
