Andrew Niccol's The Host was kind of a shitty movie. And yeah, it's not like I'm expecting
anybody to be surprised by that statement. It would be difficult for me to walk into this
film expecting anything but a giant piece of shit. I mean, obviously, this film was set up to be a
monument of professional writing and directing. So you're probably wondering why I would even bother watching
this in the first place. Well, I'm about to tell you right now. The biggest reason is obviously because of the director. As I explained in my In Time review, despite
this guy currently making pieces of shit, there was a point in his career where he had
some great ideas and they worked out really well. [clip] It seems like so many of your films are, sort
of, predict what's gonna happen in the future. And it's like we've kinda reached this
point with all the reality series and stuff. Yeah, there was no reality TV before I wrote it. And I apologize! There's now a psychological condition named after
The Truman Show, called Truman Show syndrome. And it's actually... It's an actual condition where people
believe that they're the star of their own reality show. So you really know you've made it
when you've got an illness named after... - How do you feel about that? I mean, the, you know?
- Weird. [YMS] He proved himself as a writer with The Truman Show,
and he then wound up proving himself as a talented director with these two films that I would highly
recommend at least checking out. And then six years later, he made the
hilariously shitty movie called In Time, a clusterfuck of nonsensical puns that you'd
only expect from the most amatuer of writers. [clip] - What's a night here cost?
- Two months, for a standard room. [YMS] Fortunately for me, it turned
out to be pretty unintentionally funny, and even though I knew that his script
for this film was an adaptation of a book, I was more or less expecting something that
I could at least laugh at if I couldn't enjoy it. And boy, is this movie ever pretty fucking
funny if you leave your brain turned on. Now it's already bad enough that at this point Andrew Niccol
has basically given up on making anything worth watching, but to add insult to injury, the book that this project was based
on was written by Stephenie Meyer of the Twilight series. [clip] We started talking directors, and he said "Write down your
top 5 science fiction movies, and we'll see who the directors are." - My number one is Gattaca...
- [grunt of approval] - ...and also on the list was the Truman Show...
- [grunt of approval] ... and he's like, "Well, you know, I'm friends with Andy Niccol."
And it was like "That would be the dream, the dream choice." [YMS] Well good for you, Andrew Niccol, now you'll be
working with one of the greatest writers of all time. She totally seems like a competent enough
writer to be able to handle science fiction. [clip] How would you describe a Stephenie
Meyer-type story? What elements does it have? That is a good question, I'm not sure how to answer that. Er, female driven and then, um, young... young girls and hot
guys. They really appeal to a lot of people because they, they... They're aspirational and they tackle big issues, like,
you know, not just love, but also what world we live in, and, and, you know, the temptations we all go through,
so, um, I-I'm actually, I feel like I'm part of a club now, because the people who love her
are, like, devoted, er, children. [YMS] The film opens up with some narration that
explains that Earth is now a pleasant, happy utopia, where there is no hunger or
poverty, and everyone is awesome. [clip] The environment is healed. Honesty,
courtesy, and kindness are practiced by all. [YMS] Only problem is that an alien race has
invaded, and are using humans as host bodies. [stupid giggling] And the only remaining humans
are now on the run for their lives. Which really contradicts those blanket statements made
ten seconds ago, and turns them into more of a hyperbole. [clip] There is no violence. [YMS] How the fuck did you not see them right there? So we watch our main character try to escape, and she
falls out the fifth story window. Right on her fucking head. Apparently she gets off on extreme body
mods, and has replaced her skull with titanium. Oh boy! This is going to be great! [clip] Barely a bone not broken or organ
ruptured, I cannot tell you why she is not dead. This one want to live. [YMS] Oh, right! All those people that
died earlier, they didn't really wanna live. Remember, if you die, and especially if it's from fall
damage, it's only because you really didn't wanna live. That's why she jumped out the fifth storey window. It's not cuz she had nowhere to go and wanted to
commit suicide, rather than be taken over by aliens, she just know that if she wanted to live hard
enough, then she wouldn't die by doing it. Fuckin' smart! Mmmm mehhh hhh huh! No dude, don't invade her body
just yet, she got stanky breath! Those are some high quality drugs you got there, doc. So this guy cuts open her neck, and then
grabs a little alien thing and lets it slide in. And now that there's an alien controlling her,
her eyes become fucked up like everybody else's. It's interesting how you put so much attention on
one shot, only for it to lead into a continuity error. [clip] You have lived many lives, on many worlds. A
wanderer such as yourself, there must have been a name. [raspberry] [YMS] So, Wanderer quickly finds out that the
previous character, Melanie, is still inside her head. [clip] [gasp] No! I didn't die. [YMS] Oh, OK. It's just cuz she really, really wants to live. [clip] - Don't think this is yours. This body is mine.
- No. Mine. [YMS] Wanderer scans Melanie's memories, and tells
the Seeker what she's been doing this whole time. - [clip] Her name is Melanie Stryder
- [YMS] "Stryder sounds like a science fiction-y enough name" Wanderer goes to bed later, and goes
through a bunch of Melanie's old memories. Yay! Post-production blur, so you can tell it's a memory. Like, just in case somebody wasn't clued
in by the constant cuts back to her in bed. It shows her raiding a random fridge
somewhere, and she gets introduced to this guy. [clip] You're human. - I haven't spoken to another human being in two years.
- I'm guessing you haven't been kissed in a while either. I can give you a ride. Hey, it's faster than running. It's
even faster than your running. βͺ (Barry White - Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe) βͺ [YMS] It seems as though both Melanie and the tone of the
film are perfectly okay with putting your trust into a stranger who has just sexually assaulted
you, as long as they're kinda hot. [clip] - Listen, I want you to...
- No, no, do you remember? We were doing a scene, and you, like, had to tackle me to
the ground. And we were rehearsing it, and he was like, - "Is this a bit rapey, or..." [laughs]
- That's where the passion comes. "Kiss me like you wanna get slapped."
is one the most famous lines. But doesn't every girl wanna be kissed, sort of,
passionately that way, like where it gets a little... - It's a fine line.
- Yeah. [YMS] Wanderer wakes up, and then goes
to exactly where she was the day before and continues telling the Seeker about her memories. She continues scanning her memories for totally relevant
information to try and beat the human resistance. - [clip] You haven't kissed me since that first night.
- [YMS] This girl's kinda fucked up. [clip] Melanie, you don't have to. [YMS] It's very important that we establish that not
only does Melanie really wanna get laid by this guy, but that he totally respects her enough to not
want to be pressuring her in any way whatsoever. - [clip] You still don't have to.
- [YMS] Is this a male power fantasy, or a female power fantasy? [clip] When you touch me... I don't want you to stop. Sleep with me. All I'm saying is... ...we have time. We only have this, now. [slurping] - Wanderer? Wanderer!
- [YMS] Yeah, you might wanna wipe down the chair later. So apparently, viewing her memories
is a bit of a lengthy process, and she conveniently can't remember
exactly where the resistance is stationed. [clip] - There's nothing more now.
- There has to be more. [YMS] The Seeker get impatient and decides to leave the room, but, oops, she gets a little flash of the area,
and jots it down as quickly as she can. Yep, that totally looks like the exact same sketch. Wanderer starts to become empathetic towards the voice in her
head, and decides to rip it up instead of showing it to the Seeker. We then cut to her in the middle of fucking nowhere,
and it looks like the Seeker has followed her along. She requests new information about the human resistance,
and it seems as though Wanderer has lost interest in helping. [clip] Your identification of Jared Howe has helped.
There was a sighting. I am confident we will find him. [Wanderer and Melanie] NO!!! [YMS] Oh! So Melanie can control the body in varied, short
and sudden outbursts at convenient moments. Right. Totally looks like you fell into that position,
and you're not just laying down comfortably. They tell her that since her host is too resistant,
they will take her out and put her into another one. - [clip] We make the transfer tomorrow.
- [YMS] "Yes, let's do this tomorrow and not right now." So Melanie winds up begging
Wanderer not to let this happen to her. [clip] - Melanie, I have to do my duty.
- You have to do what's right. [YMS] "No, I meant I gotta take a shit
really bad. This might be a little awkward. [clip] Put the chair against the door. No. The other way. [YMS] Ha ha. What fun quirkiness that the alien doesn't
understand how which way to put the chair in front of the door. Ha ha. An alien wouldn't know that,
so therefore she was confused. I was kinda under the impression that any sort of
instinctual brain function carried over to the aliens, since, you know, she can fucking speak English. Anyway, now she's trying to escape. [clip] - Now jump.
- I can't. It's a good thing I can. [YMS] Convenient! "Step aside large black man, while I kick down the door." [clip] Wanderer? [YMS] You had one job! They then perform the easiest carjacking of all time. [clip] - May I borrow your vehicle? Please. It is important.
- Certainly. - That's a good trick.
- It was no trick. We do not lie. We trust each other. [YMS] How can you drive? You did not know how to properly block the door,
but you do know how to operate a motor vehicle. Those are some convenient detailed
memories you're able to access. The Seeker goes through her old clothes
and finds the ripped-up piece of paper. Like, apparently, there was no way to dispose of that properly. Not even Melanie thought to flush
it down the toilet or something? Wanderer decides to make her car ride more
interesting by going through memories, and apparently, yeah, she's a fucking pervert. "Mmm, foreplay." So now Wanderer finds out that Melanie's
been giving her wrong directions. [clip] - Where are we?
- You tell me. You're the one with the steering wheel. [YMS] Wanderer needed to talk to her healer,
who coincidentally moved to Fort Worth, Texas, and although Melanie said she would tell her the
way, it looks like she had other plans in mind. [clip] You sent us in the wrong direction. You have
been putting thoughts in my head to distract me. [YMS] Pretty good control with that car there. Did
you access a memory of her doing that maneuver? [clip] The Seeker was right, you are an unreasonable
species. I try to help you, and this is how you thank me. - We are going to Fort Worth.
- No! [YMS] I don't understand how this happened. I haven't seen a car crash that shitty since... In Time. [clip] - Will it still work?
- Not any more. [YMS] "Thanks for the information, Melanie. I was completely
clueless about cars, despite the fact that I was driving one." [clip] - Now what do we do?
- We walk. Which way? You can go my way, or you can
go your own way and kill us both. [YMS] "Hey, a water bottle right outside my car wreck, sweet!" - [clip] Don't leave tracks. Walk on the rocks.
- [YMS] That seems doable. So now we get to these guys typing on their computers. "Ha ha ha, we found out exactly where
you are based on this little sketch." She walks around the desert for a while and
then, glory hallelujah, somebody finds her. [clip] - Stay with me.
- Uncle Jeb! You found us. - Us?
- [YMS] "Bleh-uh-oo-eh!" They notice that they're speaking to
an alien, and not actually Melanie, and despite this, Uncle Jeb insists that
they bring her back to their hideout, with absolutely zero indication that
Melanie is still alive inside her head. Like, OK, she says "You found us" instead of "You found me", but do you really think that's reason enough to take her
back to the hideout that holds the last chance for humanity? Even if we assume that you patted her down
on the way, and the movie just didn't show it, could she not have swallowed a GPS tracking device? "Nah, don't worry about that one, hunches are facts." They get back to where the human resistance is,
and she notices that her boy toy Jared is still alive. [clip] - Jared!
- Jared. Jared's alive, Jared's... [laugh track] [YMS] It's like you put that rock there for the
explicit purpose of her hitting her head on it, but it looks like she just lied down on
it instead. What happened to you? So the Seekers find her car wreck, and apparently,
every single one of them has to have a chrome vehicle. Like, it's already stupid enough that they have to be
wearing white clothes to symbolize their perfection, but doesn't that kind of go against the type
of perfection they're supposed to be anyway? Like, we're supposed to believe that these guys have
created a utopian society where there is no violence, no hunger or poverty, and apparently none of them
even lie, and yet they have extreme vanity issues? [clip] E-eh, you know, one of the things I love
about Andrew is, is, he has a very strong opinion, he's very es-esthetic, you know,
his, his, his world is, is very distinct. The whole look of, of the Seekers,
um, of this world was really his idea, and I think even Stephenie was surprised of how,
you know, what a strong visual, er, vision he had. I don't know if you read the book, but, m.. er, my
characters actually are very different, um, in the book. Dark-haired, and short, and all of those, but Andrew felt like
all the Seekers, in fact, the world, has become very perfect, and everybody, is sort of, is perfected, so I f... I thought
that, a, a, a very good posture and very good... dig... you know, the way she speaks is very proper. Let's give a breakdown, what did you think of the outfit? They were c-completely s-silly, because who
wears pristine white in the desert? Like, seriously? Apparently they've figured out how to
do laundry every day. It was craziness. I mean, I-I have nothing to do with that. That's all, you know, the
costume designer and Andrew Niccol, who had a really pris... very strong opinion about what his world should look like. I mean, yeah, it looks cool, but I was n-n-not pleased
having somebody constantly fluff and puff me. But it was ridiculous, in the desert, to be
wearing white and drive a chrome, shiny car. [YMS] "Nah, man. We're the Seekers, we're
important, we gotta have everything chrome. After all, it's our job to hunt down the remaining humans, and we all know that the best way for them
not to see us coming from a mile away is to drive around in the desert in
the most reflective vehicles possible." [clip] - They are very cool.
- Very, very cool. And their white suits... Totally impractical, the... having a
shiny, chrome car in the desert, but OK. [YMS] Like, their species is that fucking stupid and
yet we expect them to have solved the poverty crisis? You solved all environmental issues too, right? Are you still using non-renewable resources to
power and manufacture those chrome vehicles? Unless that guy the beginning was just lying. Again. [clip] There is no violence. [YMS] If you're a species that puts logic ahead
of everything else, there's no room for vanity. I mean, doesn't the fact that they're
chasing after Wanderer right now kind of disprove the idea that they have a harmonious society? If your species' mental structure allows for
a variety of individual thoughts and actions, does that not ensure that conflict is inevitable? Shouldn't the Seekers be reacting to
this whole Wanderer situation by saying "Holy Shit! A member of our species
is capable of thinking and acting in a way that doesn't conform
to our predetermined guidelines. This has never happened before
in recorded history, ever."? I mean, especially if we're supposed to
believe that lying is a foreign concept to them. How can your species be completely harmonious
if you're not functioning in a hive mind? And I guess we're supposed to
assume that that would be the case if Wanderer wasn't persuaded by
Melanie's oh-so emotional memories. Like, let's just put aside how conceitedly
geocentric the notion is that "Oh, this is the first time that these aliens
have ever had to deal with emotions. They've conquered so many highly advanced,
intelligent species before showing up here, but human beings are the ones with the real feelings." Yeah, totally not a subjective interpretation of
chemicals being released into our bloodstream to coerce a yes or no reaction based on what actions
previously allowed our ancestors to carry on their genes, these are feelings, and those are exclusive to humans. Love and sadness isn't cognitive, it's magic, and we're
special. That's why true love always saves the day, right? Cuz somehow it exists outside our brains, and it's
totally not a neurologically mathematical algorithm based on biological appearances and
pheromone compatibility. Nah, this is true love. And these aliens that have conquered entire civilizations
over the past bajillion years were not prepared for it. You'd think that they would have found these basic primitive
brain functions on any other creature at least once? Or maybe all the other billions of people on the
planet not only didn't want to live hard enough, but also don't have any memories of real love. [clip] They don't know a human can stay alive in a body.
You can't tell them I'm in here. They won't believe you. They'll think you're lying to save yourself. [YMS] Oh! So she can't tell them that she is stuck
in there because they think that that won't... What? So you could say absolutely nothing, and
they won't believe that you're stuck in there, or you could try telling them, but you won't, because
you're completely fucking sure that they won't believe you. Not even worth a try? As if they're going to be like "Well,
we didn't think that Melanie was trapped in there before, but now that you're mentioning that that's a possibility,
we're gonna assume that that is incorrect and kill you." There's, like, two of you, and you both
decided that this is completely rational. Because them not wanting to kill her, is dependent on the
fact that she's not trying to lie to them to save her own life? That makes so much sense. Well, apparently some of them want to kill her
anyway, but that her boy toy steps in to save the day, even though he fucking pimp-slapped her earlier. βͺ (Barry White - Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe) βͺ [clip] Get out of the way. There is no violence. Keep breathing! Come on, Wanderer. Fight him! Good evening, everyone. I hate to remind you,
but this is my place, and you are my guests. [YMS] "Oh, thank you for saving us, Uncle Jeb." [clip] - We took a vote.
- This ain't a democracy. [YMS] OK, you took a vote, but what's the point of
a vote when you don't fucking tell people about it? Like, "Yeah, me and these two guys took a vote. I understand there's quite a few more people that live here,
but we took a vote, and we decided that we should kill her. I know some people didn't want to kill her,
but they weren't part of the vote, so it's OK." [clip] I do not think we are looking for
Wanderer. I think we are looking for a body. Even if she were not hurt in the wreck,
how long could she survive in this place? From my experience, this host has difficulty dying. [YMS] "Yeah guys, Melanie's a tough
one. She actually wants to live." "Good thing we can see their shiny
chrome cars from a mile away." So Wanderer starts having a
conversation with Melanie's little brother. [clip] I want to know what happened to my sister
that night. She said that she was gonna come back. If he can't know I'm alive, he deserves
to know what happened to me. [YMS] Why can't he know you're alive? Meanwhile, Uncle Jeb just eavesdrops on the conversation
despite explicitly being told to keep her away from the kid. [clip] Keep it away from the kid. - What do you come from?
- Another planet. - What the hell?
- Damn it, Jeb, I told you. To keep her away from the kid? You never said
nothing about keeping the kid away from her. [YMS] What a douche! That sounded like Steve Brule. [clip] To keep her away from the kid? You never
said nothing about keeping the kid away from her. - Jamie, that is not Melanie! She's never coming back.
- It's still her body that we've hurt. - Get out of here now, Jamie, or so help me, I'll...
- Jared. [YMS] OK, so I get that in the script, your character
says "So help me, I'll", and then gets cut off, but when you're filming it, do you not think that you
should have had Uncle Jeb interrupt him a bit earlier, so it seemed like there was something
more that he was going to say? When you want to show a character get interrupted, it's best
not to show them as if they were waiting to get interrupted. Like, this guy definitely did not plan
to say anything after the word "I'll". [clip] - Get out of here now, Jamie, or so help me, I'll...
- Jared. [YMS] This is the type of acting/directing problem that
exists most prevalently in eighth-grade theater productions. So now these two fucking hunks start arguing over her again, except they're taking the exact opposite
position that it seems they were taking before. - The guy who just tried to kill her is like:
- [clip] She... It is the furthest thing from a Seeker I've ever seen. [YMS] And the guy who stepped in to try and save
her from the guy that was trying to kill her is like: [clip] It is the enemy, don't forget it. Way to make these characters even less distinguishable. It's not like it's already bad enough that they've got extremely
similar height, skin color, muscle mass and facial structure. - Uncle Jeb get sick of calling her Wanderer, so he says:
- [clip] Your name is a mouthful. You mind if I shorten it? Mind if I call you... Wanda? [wind sound effect] [YMS] He then gives her a tour, and we find
out that their living situation isn't all that bad. Turns out that not only does this place look like a
cheap Disney attraction, but it functions like one too! You can just take a bath whenever you want. [clip] Makes you feel like a human being again, don't it? So these guys get in their inexplicably
acquired vehicles to go on a supply run, not seeming to care one fucking bit that they're
leaving tire tracks all the way to their secret hideout. Like, literally less than a minute of screen time later, we see
the Seeker flying around in a fucking chrome helicopter. She's scanning the area, looking for evidence of their existence, so wouldn't the off-road tire tracks that lead
fucking nowhere be even a little bit suspicious? Now I did a little bit of research, and found out that in the book, the vehicles had tarps and chains attached to
their rear bumpers to wipe away the tracks, and I guess when Andrew Niccol was
adapting this into a screenplay he thought, "What the fuck? That doesn't make any sense. How am
I even gonna show that? That sounds kinda stupid." So he just decided that it's easier if nobody thinks about it. I mean, if there's no proper way to be covering
up their tire tracks each time they go for supplies, then there's no real way that they'd have been able to renovate
this fucking fortress with solar panels electricity in every room. It kinda destroys the whole story. So just don't think about it! - [clip] Don't leave tracks. Walk on the rocks
- [YMS] Oops! Subtitles by JorWat
This movie looked like a total layup for him.
/r/YMS for those wanting to keep up-to-date with his goings on reddit.
So good, YMS is probably the only web series I actively keep up with because it's so good.
I love that Diane Kruger finds the movie she's in to be complete bullshit.
Where do you get the music? I was hoping to use that music in some of my videosο»Ώ
Man I feel like he's taking some low hanging fruit here. Why not do a movie whose quality is more contested? All the movies he's done recently everyone knows are really bad.