Death Race 2 is terrible... but it's also funny! Not many people know about this hidden gem of
humor. Not that you wouldn't already have a pretty good
idea of what it's like, considering its a prequel to a
remake. But before I get to that, I think I'll provide some
context as to what gave birth to this travesty. We start off with Death Race 2000, a cult film
made by Roger Corman in 1975. It's set 11 years ago, which is also the future. Despite its flaws I can see why it was so
successful. The movie starred David Carradine and Sylvester
Stallone and it was really just one big social commentary
on violence in the media. [Man 1] AAHHH [Man 2] Alright, alright, and yessiree! A clean hit. Too bad the guy was only 38. Just 2 years older, and he'd have been worth 3 times the points. [YMS] And I guess you could call this film the catalyst for what kicked off the cliche of everyone in the future being so bloodthirsty and bored that they watch people kill eachother on television. [Man 3] Toddlers, under 12, now rate a big 70 points. The big score: Anyone, any sex, over 75 years old, has been upped to 100 points. [YMS] I enjoy this movie because it challenges you as an audience member Even the main character you're rooting for kills
people in the film, and it's not perfect I mean I'm still a little confused
about the point system. I mean do they win the race if they have the most
points . Doesn't that not make it a race anymore Why are they even going fast? It's not like there in a hurry to run over people first
so that the other drivers don't steal their kills. I mean they're all going different directions. Can
someone explain this to me because I don't get it_ And Frankenstein totally hiding the fact that his
face is fine. but do they have any cameras anywhere or what are people watching on television as
happening? How can they tell when people score points if
there's no cameras? I don't -- AH! And get me wrong it's enjoyable but it's definitely
a B-movie I'm a mean this scene's kinda retarded. What the fuck is happening here The guys isn't even jumping out of the way. I mean it's like she's aiming for the blanket and not
the person Is she really that bad of a driver? This is like the worst driver in the world. This is really dumb. -You know, Myra, some people might think you're cute, but me, I think you're one very large baked potato. [YMS] Then Paul Thomas-- I mean WS Anderson comes along and is like "I wanna make a remake of this movie" except he doesn't really remake it. He just tells a completely different story that has the same title kind of. It doesn't make any sense because he explains it
as a prequel. [Paul Anderson] It's not like president of America's just invented it. He must've taken an existing sporting event or an underground sporting event, of some kind, and made it legal and that was the story we wanted to tell. [YMS] and then they get David Carradine to voiceover frankenstein again and then they kill him in the first scene. so it
doesn't -- what? And this one is set in the year 2012. Isnt it weird how movies do that? I mean, it's almost 2012 right now. We're gonna
catch up to the timeline pretty soon. I guess Paul WS Anderson doesn't think this
movie will have that long of a shelflife. This is nothing but a popcorn movie. You sit and
you watch, and you go "AH, explosions!" and "hot chicks" and "you know, Jason Statham's
pretty hot, too." All the while without even realizing that you're
just watching a car commercial. [Footage Person 1] we have the the Riviera, the
Trans Am, the Chrysler, the Dodge Ram, the
Mustang. we have a Porsche from 1988. We have a 7 Series BMW which
we've topped out the passenger side, so it's
rather like driving a WW1 fighter jet. [YMS] So we open up this movie with frankenstein
DYING. even though, apparently this is a remake. I don't know. if you're not completely consistent,
then there's no point in pretending this is the
same universe. It doesn't make any SENSE! We then cut to Jason Statham while a blatant
Nine Inch Nails rip-off theme song plays. "Ah yeah! Machinery, and molten metal," "and manual labor." "MMM! I'm so rugged." "This is how I leave my work, EVERYDAY." [YMS] So, it turns out the workers are getting screwed
and they're pissed about it, so a SWAT team shows up and just goes
*Oakland* on their asses and then the scene just ends in the middle of it, because it doesn't really matter. Well his job sucks but at least he's got a family
that he loves so much. Ugh. I don't get why they do that movies. "yep. I'm
just gonna wait for you to realize I'm here and
then kill you." You'd atleast think he would have his hands
ready to do something while she's turning
around, but I guess it doesn't matter cuz it worked out
anyway. Yay! You're framed for murder. And you're going to jail. Initial incident. \n if you're anything like Wes
Andesons -- I mean, Paul WS Anderson, you know that if you want North American
audiences to be able to relate to the main
character, they have to be *completely innocent*. "Challenge the audience members? PFF!" "How would North American audiences relate to
a character that done anything wrong in their
lives?" "Because we're all so perfect. Because even
though everybody is such a badass," "they also love their family." "Oh, little baby, AW!" [Footage Person 2] Mr Paul, you're the *driving*
force behind this film. [Paul Anderson] Yes, I was a bit of a slow driver. [YMS] So then Jason Statham's In prison, and he's like,
"This sucks, I'm in prison." and then the other guys are like, "we don't take
too kindly to murderers in prison." And he's like "RAH! I'm Jason Statham, bitch!" And then this bitch is like "Yeah, you should just
join the Death Race." "We need someone to replace Frankenstein and
pretend they're frankenstein because" "we're the only ones that know that Frankenstein
is actually dead." "and we made a lot of money off of him, so you
should just be frankenstein." "If you win five races you're free and
Frankenstein's already won four." Remember kids, it's okay to murder people as long
as you're a *sick* driver. But wait a minute. They spend the rest of the
movie trying to kill him. For all they know, they could only get one more
episode with Frankenstein. It must be a lot of money. So it turns out that they take a bunch of hot
chicks from the women's prison and they get them to be navigators. Y'know, they
can't let them drive because they're women and I guess you're not eligible if you're ugly or
even mediocre looking. Sorry. They're just there to look hot basically. Doesn't it
kinda suck for them? I mean the fates of their lives and freedoms rest
in some other random prisoners' hands. It's not like the navigators have any say in
anything. They could be like, "Yo, do that!" And the other driver could just be like "No." "You're a woman." There's no point in them even being there. Yeah, better ratings because we have tits. So, they're clearly there to look hot but they don't give them some sort of, like,
cheerleader job or something I'm pretty sure most guys just wanna see hot
chicks. Not see hot chicks get mangled in car accidents. And that's true. And Paul WS Anderson knows this because whenever we see a car crash we only
get to see the dude die. Unless she's asian. Their names aren't even on the scoreboard and if you're watching Death Race on TV than you
can't even see the hot chicks because it's fucking mirrored glass. there's not really much else to say about this
movie. It's just shit, okay? They raise a bunch and
there's a happy ending, and they really don't care
about the quality of the film [Matty] It's all about money. [Footage Person 3] It's always about money,
Matty. It's *always* about money,
y'know. [Paul Anderson] the studio keeps referring to this
movie -- I think they can't quite believe
they made it -- because they keep saying this is
the major studio movie that should never have
been made, because it kindof feels like a gritty
independent movie but made on a big budget. It really is unapologetically
hardcore. [YMS] Yeah, that's right. You're an *indie* director.
You're so uncompromising. Yeah, you don't care about what sells, you just
wanna make art. You don't blatantly reuse clips in a movie that you
actually care about, you fuck. [Black man] DAMN! [Footage Person 4] You have probably, the most vile
and cruelest line of dialogue this year [Woman (in character)] Okay, cocksucker. Fuck
with me, and we'll see who shits on the
sidewalk. [Woman (out of character)] Absolutely, Paul
Anderson, the director, he's like, "that's the best
line I've ever written." "That is the absolute best line I've ever written." [YMS] And then there's Death Race 2. A movie that you
find walking through a video store, and then you
say, "Hey, I didn't know they're was a Death Race 2
and look! Jason Staham's even in i--" that's not Jason Statham. now I know that they're
not playing the same characters but isn't it really obvious that they tried to get a
guy that looked like Jason Statham. Except Jason's more buff. maybe you shouldn't
try putting Luke Goss in the role of a badass. [Luke Goss (in character)] I'm not looking for best
friend, okay? So just leave me alone. [YMS] I just see a pretty boy. every time he tries to act tough, it seems forced
got nothing against the guy but he's just not
intimidating. But I'll get more into that later. You're probably
wondering who would bother to make such a
PIECE OF SHIT. [Roel Reine] Me, I could use Paul's world that he
created, and bring it to this movie and take it a
little bit further [Mike Elliot] Paul was concerned about who would
be taking over his baby. when he heard that Roel was
interested he was pleased with that choice [YMS] I'm sorry. who? Okay, nevermind. I guess it doesn't matter. The
movie starts out with, Yup! That same fuckin song from the first one. And if you're still not convinced that what you're
hearing is a rip off, just listen to this song the
"Mark Has Been Made" by Nine Inch Nails [If your ears were working they would be graced with the aforementioned song. Sorry, deaf folk. D: ] [YMS] Well, FUCK! The exact same instruments. Almost the same melody, baseline and tempo with
just enough tweak so that they don't have to pay
any royalties. Well, I'm gonna keep this song going, because it's
better. We start out the movie with Danny Trejo? Okay. [Danny Trejo] First of all, I just wanted to play a
guy named Goldberg. Hahaha. I'm, y'know, the only Mexicans jew
in the world. [YMS] We then see Roel's cartoonish interpretation of
what life is like in prison. [Black man] Faggot. [YMS] The extras have no idea what they're doing
there. They're so uncoordinated. Nothing has even happened yet and this is
already awesome. [Footage person 5] This picture while, it's not overtly funny, there's a
certain amount of humor in it. [YMS] I love this movie. "Quick cut! Quick cut! Lack of wideshots!
Inappropriate tone of music!" "Zero martial arts training." "Cheesy sound effect! Dub dub dub." [Reporter] just moments ago-- [YMS] Why are you there? Anyway, a SWAT team shows up, and they're
about as trained as the rest of the actors. This poorly coordinated scene goes on until a
helicopter shows up, and we all know if a helicopter shows up *and*
it's in slow motion, it's over. Speaking of unnecessary slow-motion... We're introduced to Sean Bean, We're also introduced to a lot of almost boob. In the background and out of focus boob. And no boob. [Luke Goss (in character)] I think it's the third
world's greatest game. [Sean Bean] What the fuck are you laughin' at. Excuse us, please. [YMS] "Get outta here, you irrelevant character." They start talking and we figure out that they're
friends and that Sean Bean's hiring him to pull of
some sort of Bank Heist, when suddenly "Buh-da-nu-na-nu-nuuuuh." There's a fuckin' car. I take back what I said about
the remake. That's not a car commercial, this is. ShelbyAutos.com The next scene begins and we start to learn
about how much the writer enjoys writing
characters that have no respect for women. [Ving Rhames (in character)] Was something I
said funny? [YMS] I'm sorry, is it just me or does Ving Rhames seem
really out of place in this movie? [Interviewer] He, sort of, tried to make it standout
different from the other Death Race films. [Ving Rhames] I don't know I didn't see the other Death Race, so I
don't know. [YMS] Anyway, they start this foreboding conversation
about how much money could be made off of
watching people kill each other and then it just ends.
So these guys get to the bank and they put extra
emphasis on the whole "we should do this
without using guns" thing. And then the police show up just by coincidence. [Luke Goss (in character)] You got company. Get
out of there. Benny, you copy? [Benny] Fuckin' don't worry about it, man. Don't
stress out. [Luke Goss (in character)] Oak aboard. Get outta
there. [Benny] Chill, man. [Luke Goss (in character)] Jonesy, abort. Abort.
Get outta there. [Benny] It's under control. [YMS] I'm sorry, you guys are both idiots. What's the point of having a look out, if
you don't fucking listen to him? And why didn't you say that it was cops? Maybe he would have listened, if you just said
that. God dammit. Now he has to show off his martial
arts skills. So Luke Goss gets pissed and he's all like in 20
years and nobody got hurt, why'd you'd have to
hurt anybody? And then all of a sudden. And then all of a sudden. SLOW MOOOOOOO. Pretty good shot. And then the soundtrack seems to forget what
movie this is, and I don't even know what they're
trying to do with this [Woman] I have to say that was a beautiful
moment in the film. The gun shot. *farting sfx* Yeah, your reaction. You have obviously
seen the film. It was really good of you there. [Luke Goss (out of character)] Thank you. You
know it was shot in slow motion, and there's this wonderful kind of moment in the film where the director had all these phonetics behind him, and all these shot guns and kind of mayhem in this kind of surreal moment where I can't really understand what has just happened. I realize clearly I have just taken the life of a man, and it's just life changing, for many, many people. [YMS] So then they have a chase scene and it's really
boring, The cuts are so quick you barely have enough
time to process you're seeing. You know just because you filmed all those
angles doesn't mean that you have to show
every single one. Sometimes you just gotta learn to let it go but I think that Roel has a problem with letting go. because he seems to want to linger on every
special effects shot EVER. "Oh my god that shot turned out so good. let's
make a last eight minutes." I mean, seriously and that music does not fucking
belong there. So he's like "Stop killing people, get out of my car.
I don't believe in murder" And then Sean Bean sees him on TV, and then over-reacts a little. [Sean Bean] FOCK! Fockin' hell. [YMS] "Yeah! Chase scene on the freeway. Oh no, a
dead end." Wait, what the fuck? It's not like he turned off the freeway and into another part of the freeway that he wasn't supposed to go. He was just on the freeway. where were those other cars going? What the fuck? What's funny is that these cops going over the
edge, didn't actually get pushed over They were just driving ahead of the person they
were chasing. How are you out so fast? You know this needs? Slow motion. and that really shitty music. "Uh. I didn't want to hurt ANYBODY" "I'm SO pretty." Initial incident. Captions by Practically Illiterate.Wordpress.com Hey! The director decided to show some boobs.
