YMS Commentary: Face/Off

hey guys and welcome to YMS commentary track number five it has not actually started yet this is just a little intro to help you get set up basically this video is just our commentary and you are responsible for finding your own copy of the film this time we decided to go with the thrilling masterpiece known as face-off you can either watch along with this YouTube video or use the audio downloads found in the description just like all of my other content this is completely free and I appreciate all of you helping out on patreon making this possible the release we recorded over is the North American blu-ray running at 24 frames per second and in case you're experiencing any sync issues I'll be showing small clips of the film at the start of each new blu-ray chapter here's a tip make sure your copy is actually 24 frames per second here's another tip try watching the film with subtitles on anyway I hope you enjoy our commentary track over this majestic movie stay tuned for the adamant pals edit coming later thank you and enjoy hello everybody how are you doing on this fine whatever day this is published I'm a de you talking to from us or just talking to us oh hi Scott oh guy who interrupted me is Skyy that's a good berry ruse good hey the person who just interrupted me how does it feel - [ __ ] okay hoisted on my own [ __ ] that last part for sure yeah so this is a this is a John Woo film so when it seems like the dialogue written by someone who doesn't speak English there's a reason when that when the Birdemic of pidgin starts happening that's why yeah what are you yeah what's the Dove budget on this movie I don't know why does he always do that he loves it it's like catnip to of doves hmm must love doves I just watched a John Travolta movie it was terrible was it phenomenon no it was was it Michael was it Pulp Fiction actually was another oh yeah he's gonna make out with that boy kiss my dad yeah face slash oh my god oh my god anywhere carry Mustang must - why isn't Nic Cage playing Freddie Mercury in the biopic that flavor saver could you imagine opening greatly you would have pulled it off completely yeah hold on is no no Nicolas Cage sniping John Travolta in like a very public park why not uh starring sex machine Joan Allen he was just spying on them the gun came free with the with the binocular normally it's the other way but I like it this way it's not a buy knock you anywhere go free gun with there we go this we're all stupid here what don't do that to your son what don't worry I don't think that is his son did you think you just met a new boy oh it's a new boy yeah so he's actually he's a guy who has sat he's a serial killer he kills pedophiles that's the premise oh so cage is the good guy yeah he's a good guy that's a short movie what do you guys want to do now they just make a horse whinny sound effect wait that wasn't you Oh tell me tell me it's been a long long time since I've seen this I haven't tell me we are starting this movie with a child death we are Charles oh I'm so happy Hey oh this just went from good to great disgusting a little hard right to child murder so anything that happens I get so excited this is true same with the same goes for me and like video games especially kill the kid it lets you kill a child oh I'd be great Robert I don't think there's many games that lady this is fingers that game that that new demon hell game what was it called sue personally a scene of them killing babies but they really look like babies now had like old man faces they just cried like baby I was telling a bunch of Benjamin buttons mmm yeah and like the end of Deadpool - they were supposed to kill baby Hitler yes and then they didn't cower as a baby but going grownups is not wrong who's Colm Feore I don't trust either his first her last name I feel like Scott we wish one of us we should guess which one it is Oh we'll get up after the old spot Colm Feore exactly so when you see someone who you think is Colm Feore yell out I will give up any idea who this person is that you're talking about dude he was just there singing me we're gonna see around and go that's him hey Terry Crews this is Brooklyn nine-nine okay castor Troy castor Troy what rate Keyser söze taken Margaret Cho had chosen this interesting her I will spot ya no shoes she's gonna look really Asian man the beauty of film the beauty of Nic Cage is hairpiece there aren't that many blu-rays where they don't digitally edited out imperfections and like those tiny little specks and frames you know usually usually they edit those out supposedly the first run of the gladiator blu-ray they accidentally edited out the arrows because they used an automatic program to edit out the film grain hmm not grain what does it call those like imperfections it's yeah yeah it's not really the grain it's something I don't know if that actually happened but somebody told me it happened I'm spreading my heart it just occurred hold on did he set this for 264 hours he's patient this is gonna go off in 12 days great that's good that looks like a camera case like it just looks like the ones that we had in high school on our media class my balls chief those clocks are definitely broken I think those clocks are just a series of yes oh this is this is prime cases on how I'm caged the same composure as happy feet I think wow I didn't know handle me the score for handle did happy feet that's crazy yeah handled what a career showcase Chopin in Madagascar Chopin what uh no so did he invent that dance in this movie yeah he did yeah definitely and I don't think that David I think Miley Cyrus is in here 120 years later we're all doing it yeah a pioneer that's who he was oh that's a young girl Nick Nick oh this is how is with this and he's like totally off-key to hate to find out what year this movie came in I want to say 97 executive planner michael dunn yeah does Michael Douglas money behind this that that Kirk Douglas is Sun money way to take it away 97 so we've murdered a boy and molested a girl um yes I've been like 2 minutes they kind of molested the boy too it's just true Oh castor and pollux yet it he's not a very good actor in this movie I mean you could have invented so much earlier we just watched pollution recently he's finding that some movies where he's like kind of director dependent as long as he's got the right directly there is very director and wig dependent like depending on who's telling him what to do and what kind of hair pieces we're really an eye quality verb is that this is not a little DeMarco mention by the way that's just there Wong headwear easily to them is is my quirk the bizarro world version of Marc Webb yes guys I don't care where you're from those are cool ass guns I remember Chiclets nobody owns those glasses nobody ever has those they're silly glasses I think those are just Nicolas Cage's personal set I blame the props Department for this I chewed Chiclets all the time when I was younger the same now he actually had some like in Lebanon do they still exist probably no I don't think we're gonna give you some Chiclets in a long time did they have Chiclets in the foreign land you came from yeah we had Chiclets I was just saying yeah we had it was like the only thing we liked chew it's all you have yeah it's all we have dinner I'm Brianna I didn't know they had food is uh is Pollux on the spectrum seems a little uh no eye contact E not picking up I think was just on the spectrum maybe yeah we're not the actors let's go to the source on cuz the bombs gonna go on cuz I'm bad at numbers he's respectful he's given them plenty of time that's true hey a fighting chance it's like just in case stay away for a good week hmm what was the budget on this movie a and B they couldn't have wrangled up like another $50 to get in the cage better here that's far more than 50 I guess yeah no it would be it's up there on the budget this is just he was like yeah we're just going with this thirty million first wig best wig pardon so like what airline is this hold on about the airline no I just heard an offer to suck a tongue yeah no that's that's no erotic that's what that's literally why imagining that is letting you know waiting her doing Xuan you [ __ ] I like it when people suck my tongue no your yeah yeah oh I do I am committing this I will die on this hey I'm doubling down like a cultural thing Wow well yeah well the CUDA was who broke the racist racist first no it's not only rid of the Adams to you that's how the Lebanese say hello it's a bare handshake it's alright because so we think their hands have been cut off for stealing they have to do something good I'll see you guys later alright hold on the stewardess on the private plane was at the I undercover FBI agent and she got down she got like neutralized by a Down syndrome guy living metal briefcase so really top with a cream of crap FBI we're talking like the good [ __ ] yeah Terry Crews relax I loved how many quick cuts there are the more action time is that cut and cut and one more time yet cut what that perfect face oh there's no way that from this as soon as the action picks up the cuts go crazy it's like it the less you can tell what's actually going on the more effective it is because what they're actually doing what do you want an action one shot those don't even exist Adam I would love an action 1 shot yeah how are we supposed to know that things are happening fast okay if they're not really happening fast you just have to switch cameras a bunch of times whoops yeah like that I think the plane ran over her also which is cool we've already killed a kid so this is just like oh man we should definitely have to kill younger and younger kids in order for me to feel anything in this movie I really want a body count like a body counter at the bottom right space Peas backup band cut damn it hey how do you even know that he's full of useless references why nobody wait way too white for that JW hahaha yesterday I never learned hey it looks like the fakest station throttle condition just kill him and fly himself it's not even anchored to any Zulus just a fisher-price toy they go the province department gut cuz they spent so much on cages hair yo Pew poll for fire well there is now BAM just saw a death a plane decimate a woman just an off-screen shot no recoil this blood Vic if they can't let you see a white man children yes children wait a minute whatever yeah we did can I see that kid died didn't we we told us I could die this movie server said why did that seem like more sparked the sparks are happening before the blame no this is a real 911 situation you guys let me let me tell you what what does that look like a missile that are saying it was an inside job I mean let's look at the facts the Saudi government what did that guy jump up on the wing what are what are you accomplishing by that besides the fact that it's cool to get under their play wing oh he's dead man this is no movie we've already killed Travolta and cage I'm surprised how good of a shot he is like that you killed two people flying through the air like that Bam Bam Bam if you - well there's like 30 of them shooting at them they haven't been hit if you told John woo nice if you John wouldn't make a movie but you're not allowed to have anyone diving and shooting a gun could he make it it'll be a really short movie it'll be a short yeah it'll be a trailer no cuz the truth no really that's the whole trailer was that the wire see the wire it was difficult to edit things out like that approaching white guy hid another way guy man Travolta in cage this is truly like an epic battle of wigs all-star line yeah I'll start hair pieces like an epic Battle of acting two of the most iconic hair pieces in of our generation and two of the goofiest actors yeah it's actually this movie is a gem really that guns so [ __ ] cool that is the saving grace of this movie why don't you marry hey once prop 76 passes I will marry my gun thank you very much that was very confusing like I don't understand what he was what just happened I think it needed more camera cuts he's saving people because he is such a great guy no don't shoot Teri Hatcher's husband from Desperate Housewives so far when I gather from this is this guy's a good guy and Nic Cage is the bad guy around the cage was a guy she saving yeah the pedal from the fence saving children from pedophiles John Traverse and I've been paying attention very well yeah that was like the opening shot pay attention Adam how do you get up there he's quick have you ever seen the cat-like agility of Nicolas Cage I love all these empty boxes in this is the empty box battery it's like they don't just fold them when they're done with them they stack them to make it look like they're actually working at a maximized volume this is where they store all their movie ideas what a jokester I love the eyebrows he's nothing cages eyebrow pretty good what's happening what's happening when you say what a great shot so are such artsy he's like okay this is a Christian [ __ ] movie oh he called la hell a got him his is terrorism a lucrative business like where does he or her funds come domestic terrorism I don't know at best you're like Timothy McVeigh like he's like does he have money or like the gold standard of domestic debt really was your day who do you like he's your guy there's the guy who like killed a bunch of people in Quebec the other time like with like a van I got you're going Canadian yeah I'm just going I'm just going by score there's also like Steven paddock from Las Vegas that was last yeah yeah just you know paddocks got the high school Ranger you can't argue with the kind of numbers they put up my depends on what you value some of us value money on the people value lives at least I value Nic Cage his eyebrows and his performance if you told me this whole movie was improv every single line is pretty much just at like John Woo just goes there like tells you that you know guys have a good time yeah just I'm gonna give the cameras running there's not a chance the world John Cho you can kick that high that was a stunt double that was a stunt leg that had to kick young likes exactly yeah that's to get it up to his height see dead huh game over end of act 3 act 1 was murdering a child act 2 was Nicolas Cage getting his tongue sucked and here here in Anzac 3 this guy's it's been a fun movie yeah we'll see you next time for a child how do you like top anything started maybe it's a bold opening with killings both opening gambit that's a statement that's like you're about to see some [ __ ] you know we killed a child in the first 60 seconds so now Nic Cage is gonna find him as a ghost ooh which would be an awesome concept for a movie and I'm sure if I pitched it to him he would do it and perpetual mom I feel like there's a lot of things you get pitched nicotinic litigation I don't think there's anything you couldn't pitch to him that he would turn down yeah Nic Cage isn't a real and I know she's kind of punky and Goffe is that recent it's uh it's like beers it kind of looks like Stephanie Tanner from full house but is not you don't buy any my CDs his wife though I'm not I'm not a straight man so Scott can you help me out here is Joe and Helen hi yeah okay she's a mom okay so she's like and she looks the same now like she's been a mom so she was like 23 Wow she just looks like this okay I'm sure she's a nice lady oh she seems like a lovely lady a fine actress with lemon-juice and death rates come on you can't get any no yeah see I spoke [ __ ] is like who the [ __ ] is Joe now Oh death oh yeah [ __ ] with me and we'll see who shits on the sidewalk great great line from death row oh man I don't know how he [ __ ] came up with that Paul WS Anderson you are the best director named Paul Anderson or Anderson in general [ __ ] wet oh wow taking it to Wes as well yeah what about mr. Anderson ooh matrix Birdemic clapping scene whoo thumbs up they're plotting the dead child no no this is America we clap we don't know why we clapped the wait is he me is this the CIA or no he's I think he's the FBI like director of the CIA sending things over then they don't like each other that's true they're like competing government those Sharks and the Jets they get into rumbles in the valve like so I'm based basically you know you know like the howling scene in Zootopia we're like we're gonna start a hell of it you can say how I'm seen in the how in the hell did that guy steal Nellie's look the other way around the band hey yeah shall I steal his look I know he came out after that Nellie was after this faceoff espree Nellie yeah cuz I want to say I want to say country grammar was 99 guys I know my hip-hop sorry what were you saying about the Zootopia scene you know like if you're gonna start a howl yes like that if you just start clapping in the America that's oh yeah yeah same with like chanting USA you can start a chance slow clapping is the howling of non furries or if you start chanting lock her up oh yeah that always works and and then they then they do they lock her up hmm they created a special apps for special people special education ops this was pre black ops CCH pounder best name in Hollywood guys that's her real name is Cece HP I disagree with you Rip Torn is the best or it's pretty great you can't you can't [ __ ] with Rip Torn is this Leisure Suit Larry is this like a porn video game oh is this hackers guys have you guys seen copycat know anyone mmm it's like the nineties like the same kind of [ __ ] Sigourney Weaver it's like the same kind of like they have like a vibration it's like the same thing I love early computer [ __ ] yeah it's like the same thing the best it's gotta be the same sprite from copy that that they used then yeah that a skull always pops yeah I know why is it grabbing a woman with a strong jaw I don't know if you want somebody that emotionally compromised to be ahead of the like FBI how much time has passed since dead boy it hasn't been seven weeks yet is the bomb hasn't dr. evil mmm but I want to get my dick wet yeah that look I will because I run the bureau that's my job great transition don't cry I promised myself I wouldn't cry I don't know if he is I think you might just have down syndrom mmm dramatic go on this is like the most contrived plan the FBI could ever come up with is like the most contrived movie I didn't know this much time passed in the movie before like the possibility of a faceoff was even it's not even it's we're still like there's still time right now though we're not even like by the time K just the face on it's gonna be like another 40 minutes holy [ __ ] really no it's actually no it's not gonna be like still like the movie takes its sweet ass I haven't seen this in a long time guy L is very familiar with this well it's his favorite movie it's not my favorite movie but as a fan like my family and I we we saw it growing up it was very special to us like it was it was the only Western movie you could get well I mean it was this it was the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and the rock those were the three western movies that my dad my brother and myself two Connery's exist a pattern I do my dad is a huge fan of both actors love it he has outloud said the statement Nicolas Cage is an amazing actor not wrong he's not wrong no that is one that's an accurate adjective to describe it I didn't know they said movies or food in Lebanon oh they have Chiclets and triplets and face-off joke's on you we actually just ate film sorry did this movie just invent 3d printing yeah pretty much that's really cool I was only like listen to this punch is actually there's so much [ __ ] it's gonna be packed to the next few minutes that they await I love when they try to explain things hey so hmm I don't know that's true almost identical chest hair plugs I gotta get me some of those thank you good I've been waiting for the real science thanks more photogenic oxymoron in this movie don't breathe in it you're L you ruined it you got all your spores on it or your weird Scientology spores you you covered it with feet uns unless someone else steals your face spoiler now now why don't you get it like it it's only only 11 months do you think they would hire like a professional actor to do the face off if ya wouldn't an actor be better yeah like why do they need him to do it there's the FBI agent because he lives and breathes castor Troy is that you know him so obviously you could perform him well know how it works it just follows logically alright I'll take it back and now LP cruise everybody 90s Penelope Cruz aka Gina Gershon hello my name is Gina and I was hot for five years yeah she's better looking than Joan Allen in case you're wondering thanks I kind of figured that part I don't need to be straight for that but I appreciate the guidance I don't know I do I feel like like all people is just look like a blank blank canvases and I have to describe them speak imagine thinking of a chair by a chair I just don't want to [ __ ] a chair speak for yourself I've seen some nice chair I'm gonna go Colm Feore Oh making the conk you know what that's that's like not a bad call I feel like that's that guy's name is confit or a whoever this [ __ ] guy is oh-oh gotta wear her ease just murders him oh my god has a gun this guy in charge of anything he's ready to blow someone's brains out did you did you destroy his eye I looked pretty deep yeah the more times they say Pollux Troy the Dumber the name sounds yeah it's one of those things that like Jackson Pollock's Troy Baker hmm I guess I'm gonna have to take my face off like really like is that the most immediate thing you would think of like [ __ ] it can't get you have to take my face off have they tried like this is they haven't tried anything else this is the first idea why not like offer Pollux Troy a deal yeah I'm a million dollars you've tried not putting it we're out of ideas gotta go face-off that is that gotta go face off and tell nobody about it they tell like five people and I mmm yeah that never come comes back to bite anyone right no never no obviously you'd think that he would have to sign some sort of official document that he know be able know doctrine is no paper trail it's all top secret special ops black ops while special ops cuz they didn't have black people we did have some sort of yet CCH pounder and Terry Crews was like three like progressivism so they didn't have a black of course it's called special Oscar you just called ops and then all those you know the black started infiltrating and then it became black ops that's how it got its name I know a lot about United States defense kind of that makes sense internals territory definitely believed you when you said internals yeah United States internals yes in total I know everything about it you trust me quiz me even before the faceoff John Travolta is like touching a lot of faces like he's already got like a face thing going on well I mean the face tight really you're just a foolish sign you have no appreciation for arts because this is all just art and themes that are being reincorporated than movies see if you had paid attention he touched his wife's face the same way he touched his kids face that's like the Travolta way yes it's the Travolta family face - and it's definitely not gonna come back later in the movie as one sort I was gonna ask what your family face touch was but I already know it's that's exactly what it is and so many formative fetishes going up mmm you want me to wait is she actually in this is like the most disgusting scene right now like like numerous close-ups of Georgia will be chests yeah for no reason a hairy boy putting a gypsy curse I'm waiting for her to say be in there which actually makes sense because John Travolta needs to lose about 30 pounds to become Nicolas Cage no can't you tell if as soon as you swap people's faces did your whole body yeah it's just you can you can't tell the difference like I'm pretty I think I'm remedies I think Nicholas Cage gets away with [ __ ] his John Travolta's wife in his own body and then she just can't tell I will be back so we're happy if that happens right thing I remember correctly Nicolas Cage as John Travolta [ __ ] Joan Allen ten out of ten and if it doesn't happen then it's obviously some fantasy you had sure I mean I don't know if fantasies the right word nightmare he doesn't even know what would have been like well she's always out of focus so in my mind's eye that's true it's just a blur - take me to start empowering women again hello speaking of wig on John don't do it done Remer Sue's daughter Smashing Pumpkins John I know you molested your son but don't don't go two for two you know what happened last time that's true yeah what on our live everyone did your other get you went bad is that a tattoo on our lip I think it's like what are your luck with that like Rory yeah a sticker she say drawing pardon me what is wrong with you British are you [ __ ] English now really fun to say so with strange draw at Jesus right drawer I believe I'm sitting three feet away from me I feel like my head's spinning anti-clockwise he has such a much he's so much broader he's so much bigger than Nicolas Cage like and they said like trim away the belly fat or whatever if I had the love handles like he's not gonna become less bra are they gonna shave your shoulders also look at their eye colours look at their like eye pigments and [ __ ] it's like they look different the guy literally said oh like I pigments nearly identical blood their heads are different sizes no how do you just get him a new skull exactly how I'm gonna change the flames wait a minute what did he just ask to get put back his chest hair or what his nipple like what did he ask his scar he's got a scar from getting shot by Nicolas why doesn't he just wear like is it a makeup or something scar what the makeup we only have plastic surgery you don't know what makeup it's like what you could easily do that with with movie prosthetics you know Nicolas Cage is 5 foot 8 165 pounds this is crazy John Travolta is 6 foot 2 270 different signal was up with Nick cages chest hair what was that was that John Travolta don't think it was saying it was like an actor doesn't look like him didn't look like him at all they just got an actor force they add to make it look like what what is happening with Nicolas Cage do not take his shirt off and there's some angles where yeah just don't look like the same person yeah I like uma Thurman when she's in the coffin and Kill Bill Vol - yeah that was weird there's one angle where she doesn't look like uma Thurman it's so strange this looks real fun so if you just cut around the whole thing yeah the whole eyes and everything just pops up like Legos right I didn't know I was in this close to like having my Facebook and any Oh lovely perfect put that in the face bath Oh No watch as the dogs and tickle it operating room like liquid they clean the combs in at the barber Hertz has anybody seen that clip on YouTube dog ate Dan's new heart have known some shitty soap opera there like some guys about to get a new heart the guy just drops it in awesome some dog plays like really dramatic sad music and zooms in on the guy's face I forget which so proper was a stupid show that's pretty great did uh did we just see an FBI employed hair stylist yes like someone was giving him a haircut somebody is being paid and they're also on the hush list as well of course why does he get to wear purple because he's the he's the fanciest doctor you know people's heads are different sizes yep no they're not counterpoint no they're not okay kind of massaged it real nice after age at 28 days likes like good steak perfect four minutes later completely healed this is outpatient surgery this is day surgery a new face they've just been waiting please fight in the mirror please no much scalese be so dumb that you fight the mirror it doesn't affect your jawline you like your facial structure is comprised and all the same it's all the center facial structure is very different than your skin this is the best transformation as an actor since adaptation Nicolas Cage is the best transformation of an actor since the flight he's really getting into character Nick it's not the mirrors fault it's only the mirrors fault in the movie mirrors also I forgot to mention I think they they like implants something in their throat to make them sound different because like they have different voices like you can't make did they at least say something to cover that yeah I think they did it's the least they heard they either did earlier they're about to but it's like you know we put a voice and planter thing in your throat so it makes you sound like them just don't like hit it or something I was like just a small plot device your voice comes we put a plot device in your throat they change the lips their voice changes there is a microchip yeah what a great 90s line huh even a violent sneeze gross well I'm Nicolas Cage technology Sean Stewart Raj Jimmy Stewart ah I'm Dick Tracy not my best you me Stewart now burn face I'm Perot and Tracy how many Oscars is in the cage have like 14 because he should he's the best not enough to say I think the answer to that question there's your body numbers just minutes only that was a great angle because you couldn't tell what any of the numbers were only 11 more years yeah that this was a this was in 97 right so the bomb that he planted is actually the 911 oh-de-boy building 7 wait so this movie predicted 9/11 it's pretty much is what I'm yeah John nobody like looked into that no well I mean look into it for a bit but they dismantled shortly after mm-hmm John Woo was heading it this is not a movie like you said earlier it's improv they just they say this is in prizes 9/11 they they did it for real and just did it for real they used a real bomb just to improvise hey lady that prop committing to the bed there's a lot of chest hair yeah that's a lot a lot there's rage on windows Tarantino movies so what does that say about John Woo he's a chest hair boy yeah a CHP also Chinese he wasn't that like this is the same guy from or they called hey is that the guy from the [ __ ] Full Metal Jacket John Carroll Lynch that's his name you deserve a gold [ __ ] star that is his name I don't member whose if I can't tell the later era one he's in tons of stuff that's not how it works I didn't make it I'm going to [ __ ] you in the butt magnet boats we did it it's like the opposite of moon boots oh that sounds like a terrible idea like think about that I read that originally this movie was supposed to take place in the future to like better explain all the goofy technology right but John was like no now okay John you're you're doves everything makes perfect sense yeah I don't think that actors who I was thinking of well were you thinking of John Carroll Lynch cuz it was John Carroll Lynch I like how you taught you talk like you're hosting jeopardy right now the categories are Jeff Jeff and the answer it's the Daily Double thanks Alex I can see that thanks a lot Alex is the jail just shows like nature documentaries that's pretty cool future jail yeah Swedish jail superjet Swedish jail is this Adult Swim's super jail yes man wow that guy in the background like what was he doing so a lot more white people in this jail than I was expecting Adam do you think if if somebody like switched faces with your brother and like started talking to you importuning to be them you think you think how long yeah thank you minutes of conversation this might be a faceoff situation before you go that's not my brother I don't even know how to answer that question because I would have to get I would have to give a lot of context and take up the rest of this commentary giving a very long-winded well I'm glad I asked a question of that poignant yeah poignant that's it yes I'll stroke my dick however I please thank you very much oh that gift that like I'm just imagining what the director told him you know what John Woo told him to do he said guys just that I imagine a lot also magnet boots make them more magnet II so they can so they can't move yeah well also like aren't they more lethal can't you just like crush a skull with that I couldn't yeah just like decimate something with magnet boots do you really pretty much have weapons on your feet yeah the point of the magnet boots if they can lift their foot up to get people or no I agree you know kind of defeats the purpose of magnet boots guys what is what are they accomplishing with magnet boots will they lock in like permanently if they try to I wish I said read social cues no wait they said the whole prison's covered in a magnetic field right so they're not really magnetic boots they're just metal boots right um I mean it could be mad could be magnetic say a homemade magnetic field can be magnet on magnet I guess yeah I could okay now we can repel elaborate porn subcategories and if you think boys can tell this large brother by the fighting style yeah yeah that's what that's what people say their name while they fight with their own name yeah first and last I'm not just some other guy wearing his face ah let's be Korea no I'm castor Troy I'm definitely castor Troy guys acting appropriate word I'm just picturing John Lithgow and SNL yelling acting acting huh no remorse your [ __ ] castor Troy you have like metal trays like what is this prison weapons like look at that you get see like in every shot there's like three weapons whatever become my sweetest friend oh now they do they now look down only we're waiting do they have a button for each prisoner like how does that yes but when there's like a riot why not just lock them all down first and then deal with it later I think they said let go let them fight or something ah they're like doing that [ __ ] it's a real natural selection situation hey they took his nip say um so it's gonna die Nicolas Cage international super terrorists not one like police detail maybe outside the room me yeah you know maybe even inside the room yeah maybe just on just like standing there maybe have him handcuffed maybe have them like slightly restrained nope I'm just spitballing here but it's like Osama bin Laden you just like haven't there and then just leave him yeah we're talking like the FBI pain this is guys wanted by the FBI he's fine he's in a coma no one's ever woken up from a coma before that's why they're called coma hey is he just gonna slap it on with some every second question yeah why is the first oh why is the face just sitting out there it's just sitting out there like the [ __ ] Batsuit let me pop it in the fridge budget cuts that was a noise that acting acting the commercial fade-out I love it they're built into the feel like he's you right where this was going this is gonna play on cable all the [ __ ] time I am kidding this ready so I don't understand how he's able to make like sounds well I mean with his lips you need Kyle I could take your face you can still make sounds Oh we can't I mean dish to be fair it's Nicolas Cage he doesn't need a lot of yeah he's mostly sounds anyway yeah he's not a fine diction no really he's not he's not Ella Fitzgerald you know he doesn't need everything to make sounds the only guy no smoke stationed with the International one guy one guy in the Walsh Institute where there's a super net oh there isn't even a guy that's just Nicolas Cage wait is he learning how to do it himself oh no he brought his friends it's empty the entire thing is that they just left him in an empty building the enjoys such that he could ask his buddies to just kidnap yeah he couldn't walk he wake up unrestrained there's no his friends there are no guards outside the building the building is not even locked inside and walked empty building with a high-tech hospital facility equipment was sleeping lawfully there's no staff here either it's just an empty building with Nicolas Cage in it is his face just covered in ketchup yeah maybe where do you get the cigarette that just looks like Nicolas Cage are they gonna make them fatter yeah are they gonna like change its gonna make them broader I gotta go change the shape of a skull like they did with toys just no wear suit with shoulder pads hope nobody notices that's a lot of mana lot of screens for a burst of screens really not you know when they say like prisoners always get like a good life and [ __ ] yeah they're right I'll watch this movie you get like nice like four squares a day cool ass boots last boots you can kill people for free yeah should I wear in the outside you can get socks they're ugly if if that set of CRT televisions wasn't behind like a cage you know like this cage its that would be broken yeah people would throw [ __ ] in it those metal trays immediately you'd be able to bust one of those TV screens really I think you're under estimating how well-behaved maximum security prisoners huh damn he straight-up testing him what was my medication because why does he say like I mean he doesn't even know this technology exists yeah how does these why does he suspect anything he's so suspicious so fast what was my medication are you really castor Troy I mean to be fair he did start saying I've definitely gassed her Troy guys not suspicious sex sandwich yeah I mean he does have autism that's true you were making sex Wow thank you Scott really needed visual auditory aid there to help me auditory negative portrayal I feel like that was a strange one to auditory aids is what happens when Charlie Sheen [ __ ] your ear here we go oh yes that's where I put the bomb but what am I this movie was really progressive to have white terrorists man yeah that's true I mean this was like Unabomber gelatin so like this is your to Barbara direction that's oh that's exactly the kind of like citizen I expect for my brother that's really insult to injury there yeah I'm already [ __ ] castor Troy this is the best part this is the best part of the whole you should say that whenever he enters a room just so everybody knows I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me check out my boots oh these boots were made for walking what what thing their eye color is identical it's like some sorta face off you know I remember when I first watched this movie the one thing I was disappointed in was the fact that like John Travolta is the one acting goofy the rest of the movie because it should be Nicolas Cage yeah exactly like their characters were slight yeah but it's Paige was acting goofy the for the majority of the film like we had a great intro to the to the sequence of events yes you know but from this point on and it's a lot of missed opportunity yeah I agree that like the person who should be acting goofy for the majority of the movie is Nicolas Cage this is more cringy than funny but like that's what makes it so good the one good thing about this time setting I'm pretty sure that John Travolta and Nic Cage don't like each other in real life so what they did in this movie was like they each try to do like the most offensive portrayal of the other they can and see who wins oh my god and I assume that's what John Drake fan theory told me and John will like told them like lies about each other like oh my guess what John said about you knew like like if I like like I'm Scott right now flawless a depression you should both try it I don't think anybody can get me like some sometimes depending on what words they say they sound like me somebody posted a video on the subreddit I forget what YouTube or some some gaming guy and then I started the videos like holy [ __ ] that sounds exactly like me but it didn't throw out the whole video but like there were some moments where I don't know if I can like you're a hard you're a hard one to pull off you're a hard target I'm individual I'm unique I'm a snowflake you it's no like nah [ __ ] you you're a piece of [ __ ] you're a nasally pinch my nose go for adam i'm putting my nose where adam let's see oh you guys just because it's a kids movie doesn't make the speed doesn't be that it's exempt from criticism guys it's just a kids movie see if real life worked out how it works in this movie you'd be able to imitate me perfectly just because you know me so well no that's because i'd have a microliter microchip in my throat and Nicolas Cage's died three times in this movie Travolta's dead twice this movie continues scoot do you have an Adam impression I'm sure people would love to hear it work up to it I'll give you an hour yeah give me give me the give me the three-and-a-half hours left man good thing she walked out when I knew which house it was like she had just randomly walked out he'd have no idea which house it was he could have just taken his wallet and checked it that's true he's just not that smart he's just an international terrorist prefer to cruise the suburbs looking for a homely wife that'll do bound her got him guess it'll have to do Gotti okay so she must already know it's not yeah no he just started taking Viagra that's what they do in the commercials suddenly they're just much more charismatic just about as happy has nothing to do with your dick you're just really fun all of a sudden if the rest of this movie is just a commercial for boner pills I'm cool with that I'm getting my hysterectomy reversed I find it funny that if pulp fiction didn't exist John Travolta probably would have everything after 1980 end exactly but he's like he was just in Gotti like he's still in some movies you know he's me that's here and there he's still in movies I find that fascinating I hate to see her go left thank you John whoo making that one so memory if only she had chest hair we'd see her naked in this movie for sure I wonder how much I wonder what level new to the Joan Allen's going to in this movie if the scene you promised happens I don't know man I it's just I'm frying you promise I can't imagine her without a bra on I feel like she showers of the bran yes or as you would say a bra bra I like to do drawings of Brewers who oh he found her she writes a diary she's a grown woman what well yeah not women have Diaries like that doesn't matter what age oh [ __ ] his daughter ought to get it's a movie thing oh he actually is moaning I was like moaning real bones in the movie too oh hey you know how teenage girls listen to James Brown and Smashing Pumpkins she's very cultured all those she must be so high to think that she like miss her Janey Punk sixteen year olds in the late night is rocking their James Brown kiss your daughter you know if he really was an evil terrorist he'd just rape her right now destroy this man's life I think he's going for the long con yeah he wants her to what Hillary yeah [ __ ] her damn sure don't want it that's the game no you know what's so [ __ ] up is you're the only person who would come up with that because that's what you would do look in that position who who among us has never been tricked into [ __ ] someone who looks like they're dead it happens to the best of us yeah there's I mean like if if this scenario existed in real life ignoring all of the scientific impossibility 'he's sure the terrorist guy would be doing a lot more [ __ ] up things just having having the face of his arch-nemesis you don't you know convincing a teenager growth of [ __ ] her definitely that's up there yeah I'm he could easily just murder his family right now but where's the fun he's already murdering the LA Convention Center in three years hey got him good job you did it I mean I don't I don't know where I've seen him also can we appreciate how much of an American name Sean Archer is very American for a main character that's a good shot you can see him in the reflection ooh tiramisu delicious Tito you know uh who's Tito I don't know okay probably one of his like FBI is probably comme Fiore and we missed no no that that's the guy that I cut I thought that was someone else I don't know yeah I'm the boss remember a simpler time in the nineties when a dog could be the head of the FBI the Clinton years that sounds like a 90s movie right Clinton years starting no yeah just a dog being yeah yeah actually yeah that's a good point he looks like a dog the Clinton years sounds like a dinesh d'souza movie yeah Air Bud golden director okay I'm talking a bit like Eddie Redmayne I guess so oh okay so okay I'm understanding more about this movie now kiss oh yes yes yes kay Chaz Travolta didn't even think he was doing anything wrong going to [ __ ] his daughter because he was already used to [ __ ] his own yeah know it for real just in in fact if anything it's just like brings it back some see added do you take it back now because what for terrorist what is more tap fraternal incest okay we gotta get everyone outta here like the FBI would know it isn't him because his first instinct was just pull a gun on the witness and its are just smacking them with it until they told them what they wanted we got to clear this Convention Center in the next 80 on before this bomb goes off oh the past pretty much the last Lehman any year left great bomb technician that Jeremy Renner is this the Hurt Locker yes where's the shaky cam great delivery I'm the bomb squad now I love his teeth and there's no password leave six nine please just like hit it with the back of your fist like Fonzie and it turns every John Travolta scene I'm just wishing Nic Cage was doing it instead right I'm actually really enjoying watching him his offensive because he's mad at I can't believe they're kids gets all these rules doing calls fine point [ __ ] sound [ __ ] easy it is I can do it hire me this is actually like on his portfolio for the exes who those the only tits we get in this movie t-thanks every news woman from the 90s yeah say Libya he should just live life as a clean man and never terrorize anything again whoo that would be the ultimate [ __ ] you ooh that'd be perfect I mean and then like a better movie yeah and then strew castor Troy and then John Travolta becomes the bad guy like he takes on the life of a villain and there's just a switch up I don't know if that needs to happen no because then like you have the identity juxtaposition like Who am I really and then it's like Who am I if not my face exactly and then you start just adopting all that [ __ ] that'd be great I think it's true be like tries to go for that but like not even gonna cry baby so he disarmed the bomb that he said yeah and nobody asks questions nobody was like how'd you know the password huh he could like he could have put in the password and then like snip the wire after and pretended like oh yeah that was the right wire I knew that all along because I studied the man's brain yeah so he's like so KJ's Travolta has like he's changed his plans now he doesn't want to blow up the convention center anymore I was he'd rather [ __ ] the Travolta family face I actually don't know what is gaming what's his new plan I have no idea just like make basically make real Travolta sad is a priority-one like right now he's just bolstering real Travolta's yeah acumen like he's gonna get a promotion and [ __ ] probably yeah yes oh that's why she's the number-one comedian going today well done Margaret show ladies and gentlemen oh god oh she had in the 90s the Cho show oh that was actually what it was called no I don't think so it was no it was a sitcom or something Cameron was like the notorious ch oh that was uh but well yeah I can't reduce the 90s that was allowed yeah things yeah it's like whoa if we can do it off screen why can't we do it on screen yeah I like this song I can't actually hear it it's uh-oh is this choppa it's make him say oh by Master P its Chopin aka the guy who did the score for round it's a lot of candles it's like a D'Angelo music video gamut really it's a $10 word that is someone just wrote the SATs okay okay okay girlfriend good I'm Sean Archer how many candles do you need that many like seriously you seem so different the scar on your chest and then chill fire hazard this is a miracle if the house doesn't burn down house there how many candles these weren't around in the house you had to go buy these today you have to make a stop at the candles you have lights right that's right next to the butcher and the Baker ah the candlestick maker this turning into a Quentin Tarantino movie photo Sachi feet feet feet feet feet it's Browntown downtown if you know what I'm talking about hmm the back door rewrappers only family planning advice oh my god hey your butts not pregnant or is it oh what a twist God knows I've tried oh he's just for that [ __ ] real [ __ ] calm for your eight seconds no take-backsies no take-backsies that's my guy I feel like if you guess the guy in front of the gate how could we not like that guy might be cold fury up I guess we have to IMDB this everywhere don't worry Adam do you have a guess he's buying in the opening credits right yeah it was like wait you don't think that guy who's the one quarter of a line is in the opening credits huh yeah I don't think that would be in the opening credits of the film we'll see who looks an educated guess by the end of the film I'm not just gonna yell his name works but how does exhibit work go and give it I love that kick his ass DMX go and give it to you oh yeah you're right Xzibit not don't give it you are filled with hip-hop [ __ ] Adam I know I'm a very black person sorry all right you tell them nick cassavetes second most successful member of the Cassavetes family if you don't count your mom no thank you buddy that's that's kind of funny acting for being electrocuted you know looks like it's thinking really hard yeah why not both I do both of those things at the same time all right Chester Troy I was gonna say that look like the dad from Modern Family but that's way too early for ads Colm Feore no what if it is he wait is that normal hmm your wife touch me we had a sex sandwich what the [ __ ] okay he got better yeah that's horse they don't they don't like let him finish his cigarette why would they even give him one you know why would they even give him one if they're about to start he just took it I think there's leaned took that cigarette I don't know Oh live ammunition in the jail I buy oh they all have a light oh yeah I forgot CI states yeah my dad they gave him a light booster Canadian prison don't ask how I don't wait how used to Canadian prison are you what are you not telling me that does explain the gap in employment in here resume there definitely is like my favorite scream what was that Howie Howie yeah oh it's the best oh my god better than the more famous Wilhelm I like Wilhelm better but no I love this one so much Howie is a [ __ ] up one that I'm so so fun so disturbing that I'm surprised it's a stock scream oh it gets I understand how it was used everywhere it's using every horror movie horror movie it makes sense yeah if the scream is like a monster yeah but they use it as just regular people screams all the time and I tries it's awesome in it we had any of those shots do anything besides the last one at the door having just the last one he's just really bashed up there were going for the walk and like he's just a really bad shot that's how you know it's not really Nicolas case just the beginning of the movie it was just like chase you guys could have been a guard on the other side [ __ ] you he was doing that as a precautionary measure cuz he's smart Adam faceoff apologist yes also Holocaust apologists that's slightly more well known I think yeah oh yeah today we learned something well they carry night SWAT people carry like oh man oh no we're nature mommy purposeful no more planet Earth to there's time there's tons of uses for knives I guess shaving yeah shaving I love sparks oh [ __ ] spark guns my family that'd be a weird twist but okay he's holding on by the trigger that would be really fun you can totally shoot him right now if you wanted to be really funny just movie over guns do save people wait no American oh yeah that was just a social commentary from John Woo guns kill people those are just fired yeah those straight up fire just fireworks out happen sparks a rash right okay okay cut cut cut cut cut cut cut outside so he just like watch onto this set off of the rock and there was like it was Eric we can't watch the rock next at some point I don't know that's a great boy not next 9x but change it up we're watching this because we've seen so many too many superhero films we got it yeah one on one off all right now I actually want a regular Extraordinary Gentlemen that's the batter No well let the comments-section decide on that one history will be the judge yes they will but her story will not suck at me John guy in helicopter not a great shot not at all this cage type shot now if he only has a perfect vantage point that's too bad he's only a trained his one job yeah he wasn't wearing socks you'll get socks in jail just not socks you get metal boots and metal trays just not socks all right it's actually one more cut nope yeah we got it there's a long Jim yeah nobody can open that one to be fair they did better better job than the people who left him at the hospital that's true in terms of just like keeping tabs general I like the rain did they [ __ ] I think they did I think that was the implication did they not show them [ __ ] I don't think they showed us them [ __ ] you lied no but like heavily rise and they [ __ ] money shots you promised full penetration Trav's on Allen I promise no such thing allen on traps she said it's hard for you they had sex I just said it's hard for you yeah now let's go look our dead kid my favorite thing to do after sex it's like the cigarette after sex ha ha seein our dead kid's grave what a waste of money our beloved son those shits are expensive too yeah [ __ ] funerals headstones bottom toys lease of space you could have bought a really nice refrigerator I don't know oh my god more funk so great you'd think about him every day like a dual oven I why I'm focused on appliances but here we are you could get a dual oven I just cremate him what for one save some bills while we're at it why didn't they buy him imaginary toys could've saved money because then his ghost will haunt them if he doesn't get good toys in the after I just think we don't have imaginary money that's probably in beepers those are a thing yeah is he we did invest in the water we didn't find the body we got a body for it you know we didn't find a body for Osama either so like nicer there's no pictures for that I mean there's definitely a picture but still there's no pictures there's no bodies for JFK wait what get the le funny really this is the FBI going get the LA sorry robot who never to be seen again they found a headpiece and that's it so he could be okay yeah so so him again was falsely imprisoned you got to make sure he's down oh that's a given Scott okay you just don't watch enough enforce hold on uh if I'm not mistaken a Nicolas Cage or a Travolta as cage seems to be on land now yeah yeah he swam I think but like remember that movie it was like 50 miles you know what it was only like 50 miles what do you ever done that before come on Scott I thought you were like a like it athlete I am an athlete I he's a free driver I feel like the the swimming leg of a triathlon is like one mile well I think that's where you got it wrong right because he actually just swam through to the other side oh did a shortcut yeah he took a shortcut I retract oh my god the fastest point this does we do points is just laugh his face or even to land and now someone else is wearing his face he just tossed his face to the land ah this one makes sense now I thought I found a gaping plot hole in this movie but it turns out I was wrong you bested me John Woo I'm like okay so I can leave that's the same woman from death rays she looks so different well subtly makes sense I know aging right weird Adrienne Hollywood aging not just any aging yeah it's even weirder yeah they're [ __ ] demonic seances they're sacrificing sex parties I'm castor Troy what was that for just tell him you're still alive did you have an advantage but he didn't know yeah definitely just threw away his advantage you called me yeah so it was heavily implied that he had sex with to hold his wife yeah so like what you thought she didn't notice that his scar wasn't there she didn't notice that he just doesn't like this dick was different that's the thing is I could did they do a dick off yeah know that I can definitely tell like the difference between I can tell people by their dicks I can see dick picks up my people like there's like you know people put this poster dictator and I could just tell me that's that guy I don't need to know who it is I was a guy you were [ __ ] that guy cuz I can I know what his dick looks like you think a wife would probably recognize her husband's this is the guy I was saying was I don't think she looks at his dick Fierro this is this is your Colm Feore Michael Fiore call also I mean it's possible that she just uses a strap-on the lights are out but like at the same time like would she recognize his [ __ ] well would you look at it she just intuitively know that shot you're such a [ __ ] [ __ ] that he takes it in the ass you know I'm saying yeah it's true he's committed to the role he just knows she breathes Sean Archer I made it look at all of this 19 any of these guys to become fury there's a lot of confit or is there any of those confit oars yeah oh here we go Scott ready to get hard yes Chiclets hmm wonderful is paid for product placement there hundred I wonder I wonder if they paid the product placement in this film thanks Adam sorry I'm gonna get sterling Archer but castor that's the cartoon you want to get ants that he does that's how you get it yet sterling Archer then they start Isis that's just how Isis the spy agency that's sick Isis the band sick Isis the terrorist group the best thank you I was I was about to like call you out if he said no no there's a clear hierarchy you're gonna get put on a list what well one of you is already on a list I've already like three months take a look at our skin tones and tell me money is getting put in bullets oh man I'm having strong feelings towards the that curly-haired guy being like oh man perm yeah man perm could be Colm Feore that guy or yeah I still think it's my prison guard with all more is the guy being eight seconds of spirit I'm feeling good yeah tell me what you watch man I'm gonna give you a if not gonna give me odds if you guess his first name correctly I will give you ten dollars oh it's calm fury as himself it's a kami its whoa the comb for your hair was in its movie ah the gift we made it you guys got a thing that gift me all right family Scott's got a good laugh like a good laugh too hard on the trigger King Isle of Man perm I hope that is calm fiore eyes mm weird eyes tiny surgery Oh say it say it say it said it well the movie title is its that Nicolas Cage you got the ball guys face to change somebody else like you would easily tell like the heads different no their bodies would change the match it doesn't matter but those are John Travolta's and Nicolas Cage's faces are entirely different in the first place you know oh you know you say his face Oh his eyes are like a dog why is that a dog thing different colored eyes it's not just a dog thing dogs have it but wait what people have it too yeah like no that's what I that's what I meant is like people and dogs but like probably some animal other I don't know people associate it with dogs maybe you associated with dogs Adam have you considered that yeah maybe what is it called like by chromaticism or hetero hetero chroma see heteronormative iottie that's it we got it now I get it when all these people talking about how everything's heteronormative in movies normativity really everyone have a different colored I remember what you said you wish he was that stupid he almost oh and you've been this for a while now you should be a little bit used to it he just want the mirror and immediately pulled the gun on himself yeah what it's my other guy from meditation this fade ok transition is he drugged yes yeah I think that yeah it has to be drunk but stuff in his water or something Oh Charlie calm yeah that's that's some vampire's kiss face right there oh yeah I'm Gina Gershon for some reason can't believe they own this like this made the cut it's improv okay oh great sound effect a woman hitting a man also progressive frickin yeah cuz you might remember when Sean Archer said [ __ ] and you said watch your mouth and the beginning of the movie they're really sticking to the character love it I think that 90's was the decade that was the best for everything raisi film concepts yeah like just think the things that you could pitch in the 90s and get millions of dollars to to fund you know to produce there's so many of those we just got our second Scientologist of the movie yep I thought it looked like him oh a Scientologist on Scientologist violence held too many thetan yeah he's trying to cheat level 8 you know what I was gonna say I was gonna say critic laureates for some reason I literally ironically just remembered it as midi-chlorians I go that's the same really the less silly woman it sounds more scientifical one from Star Wars is less yeah oh the guys getting her off the middle or Ian's body I think he said pieces like oh yeah there's a fetus putting your boyfriend on an e meter she still looks like Britney Spears to me I know she's not it's like Britney Spears mixed with Sarah Michelle Gellar there's so much going on with her hair I wish those hairstyles would come back cease earning her trust slowly build the confidence in him and then white doesn't know family [ __ ] your dad oh sorry I've been upset since my younger sibling was murdered what's your game here because this part of his shot up he's being up her dead brother oh wow zap I really don't like that bobby pin in his tie safety pin and I don't know their khalaby pin did I just just bobby pin a thing it's a safety pin a bobby pin is a thing I think that's that's differently in this is a safety pin though yeah but yeah it's weird that it's there I don't know bothers me it's accomplishing are his collar cells gonna like rip apart from each other if they're not carefully held together beautiful here's the question does castor Troy know how to tie a tie the same way that do they tie the same tie good question you know like maybe maybe real Travolta is a double wins yeah exactly yeah maybe like choice only a single win circuit for me if only anybody in John Travolta's life knew him well enough to know to notice one thing yeah it's a very sad commentary on his character really like nobody [ __ ] notices that it's a different person what a loser I think it's just it's such a like in his into Sean archers character to just pull a gun on everything let every scene just instantly pulls a gun on someone his solution for everything how is this guy not the terrorist he plays a terrorist more believably than the guy who plays a caring father amazing that's like a social commentary from John Woo who's the real terrorist America I mean maybe well mission accomplished I tricked you again mmm I know you're doing this sarcastically but this is still what I wanted calling this a win it would be better if both characters just had this scar lying around their face oh my god they both had to explain it in some stupid way I fell and nobody connected the two like wow they both have scars in the same spots I was really shocked and also like Harsha's home line he's an FBI agent he just caught that everybody is landline from his phone well yeah cuz he'll never switch bodies back so whatever oh my god and also cell phones didn't exist so it could only be a landline it's cellphones in 97 barely barely okay this was not any is not about you this is a future where you have like metal [ __ ] jails if you have super jail they can't have cell phones they have jail cell phones who kill that boy and you're even one for one a boy for a boy oh I know I'm master I have a good taste kid tell you know how I can movies kids can tell [ __ ] like that kids and dogs all cuts I never have mo it's like I I got to bring them both back whatever happened to polio whatever happens to have predictability like the milkman the paper boy evenin TV be able to [ __ ] your secretary all the good [ __ ] whatever happened to family matters theme song house theme song Jesus Christ a B C to show you line up right ridiculously similar things that I'm mixing up today that's what that's what daddy's here for Steve yeah those start with an F 90s sitcoms both have an overweight black man is the lead yeah it's true was he in anything other than Family Matters and die hard Reginald veljohnson the third best name in Hollywood we see literally in anything else ever cuz that's all I know die hard Family Matters done two big things though you'd think he would have more of a career especially with the name Reginald veljohnson yeah it's you it's scary deuce you're not gonna forget that name okay so John Travolta's character loves to touch boys I generally think it's a okay yeah no you cannot it's not it's not cuz makeover Michael John Nick you [ __ ] disgusting you're no even it even without it being sexual it's [ __ ] creepy the hell are you doing Michael Michael Michael it's almost better if it is just section that's weird like that okay I understand he's a pedophile that's way more [ __ ] up I like the tear oh yeah [ __ ] genital eyedropper yeah that's a real tear hey this feelin this kid is now Ryan goes back oh my god it's gone I wonder if that's more James Brown caps thanks for telling us I don't know before you said that I bet you're a real blue lives matter yeah I know I'm castrato mean Sean Archer damn it I keep doing [ __ ] it up oh my god those gun sound effects all of the sound effects whoo nobody just shoots normally everybody has to be like sliding I've really grandiose you know apps if you want to hit someone you shoot like a normal person I like how they're protecting his hearing they're very responsible like way more responsible than you would think to be in a situation is that Grand Marnier now it's a grand wizard Feeny breathe way Oh physics see they didn't need to hide the wires I got a wire see that's just smart thank you Dad he's a really nerdy too genius I think he won Best Director for this did the boy win best boy grip hey I'd like to grip that best boy cut damn it it was already too much of that [ __ ] in this movie oh yeah Nicolas Cage won yeah best boy grip err yeah it's funny cuz he was doing John Travolta Michael they actually give the award to John Travolta today's like House how wonderful to like status wink oh that's not okay oh is happening right now somewhere over the rainbow so today join Powell make this song why does this boy live in this crack bin cuz he's the son of a crack [ __ ] all right what are you doing this is really moving really good I wouldn't which biting me also I like a man perm we lost I like how this is the mo of SWAT teams just go in and just shoot up the wall place everything how many movies have tried to do this exact same thing like shoot out in the slo-mo this could this tone of music your first hit mad game this happens too often I want to say that like five different movies have used this song for this gen it's this another yeah yeah no it's Michael Michael Michael Michael hey everyone here including you knows that's not Michael stop being weird with my boy okay alright did very powerful Gina Gershon crack [ __ ] hole a grown child in one arm just kick a SWAT team guys asked us what team like everywhere Oh a twist hey wait I would add two band-aid it is clear shine next to a not shooter yeah but like whatever Fiore didn't see it or whatever whatever I'm just good Colm Feore cuz even if he's not that's who used to me now okay every time I see this actor that's he's my comb for you're exactly actually I think he might be nick cassavetes I think I was wrong about the other guy you might be right I don't know I know Nick catsuit the boy and it was cool-looking should the boy Adam if we get a second boy death I will lose my mind oh my god all's fair in love and boy killing hey killer boy hey wait a minute come on dead boy wide shot no way yeah that's what happens when you get shot in the back you just go like a bit like it was mosquito bite what just happened it's gonna sting Mike holding what the [ __ ] yeah he's killed talking he's still talking he's good and I don't like blood in his throat or anything just go yeah we had good times man that was they can miss your esophagus I guess but still I mean yes and shortest adrenaline woo see John Travolta as Nic Cage not as good a shot as realm' exactly careful not to accidentally shoot your face ooh yeah you need that face back look at all these themes with the mirrors isn't this well done guys and this good filmmaking it how did he grow John Travolta's hair it's awake right I mean like is that what I mean like in real life body as he said his butter two bald men got'em and your daughter especially your daughter okay I think he meets Michael so I can give you I mean you could still trade and then kill him plant plant number your wife had to take last night if you're not I'm talking ah this is like some symbol as always but it's me the smart it's you why does this weird two sided mirror wall what are they doing right now they both dodged a bullet I like how that mirrored didn't shatter like the others like just like break it I'm William Wu guns bullets so the guns negative like topple over that easily like that's barely hello ever have that there someone could just bump into it what the [ __ ] FBI I'm gonna blow you up fired like a patriot missile you didn't even know who didn't you'd literally just walked in the room and shot immediately great music a lot of circular glasses in this movie is that a thing I wasn't around oh this is cool oh my god yes yeah oh no [Music] [Laughter] it's your face okay I need that back um okay Wow cool they got separated and they're both still alive well we need a third act so yeah it's not the third act yet movie we're only two hours in so uh I've been trying to place this [ __ ] guy behold who is this guy I know him oh yeah he looks very familiar who is he he's dead it's called a No whoa that's not oh you see you said the magic word anytime Adam says that you know a man is murdered in the head milkshake I'm supposed to get murdered in the leg yeah good we're gonna have a fine time browsing the MTV page for this oh yeah that's like our next several hours we got to find Colm we got that [ __ ] guy I gotta find that guy's cold yeah I got a guy the guy in the prison is eight second guy Nazi symbolism that look by me are we get it face to face face to face very clearly face to face Best Screenplay Oscar to your war on terrorists hey they invented a heart attack Wow Derrida wait to hear don't heart attack it give him a heart attack oh my god he's his powers are increasing a body become John Travolta I think what happens when they're equally ugly I just start feeling the thetans oh through your body give more hours she placed the hex on his face in his basically oh the killing touch how much slow-motion there is in this film without shooting at a higher framerate just slow down the frames looks great oh the magic is killed the FBI directors death grip I just want like sandwich like like he killed the FBI director with his bare hand is all about fit in an FBI off yes and if I'm a bad dog the guys had a heart attack okay so they don't have like a nought of autopsy back in the pardon you have a mini-stroke good or you have to pause oh man you never learned they're gonna have so much fun with that one in the comments hey you know at least I'm not drawing any blood here oh I wish you work so fun to saw chops okay I don't have autopsies in the 1900 a monkey no okay so yeah Travolta powers are increased again turning it's a Pollock it's okay she can only sense movement Joan Allen is a lot like a Tyrannosaurus hey oh my god is that really how you want I am gonna grab you suddenly but I'm not gonna hurt you so don't be scared yeah ignore everything about what I'm doing right now it was definitely there when he was killed yet way to be persuasive ask me after when I banged here but that wasn't me why don't you it was weird like they they can't have adjusted every part of your body just be like look at my show take your dick out already actually work the best unless they've only ever had sex with the lights off which is just more sad for his character remember the thing you didn't get [ __ ] with yesterday here yeah really being persuasive this is the cage act now I feel like there's a little lot of plot holes in your story there no no it's a kids movie I swam here basically [Laughter] transforming Michael first your dead boy why would you do that I like how bad that looks like you can just take it out normally no faster because he wanted to break like the reflection of his face it's hard Adam he said it mmm just don't pay attention to movies it's cold go for blood tests oh used on the truth you are type a B also your HIV possum that probably happened in jail time to get you just had the most [ __ ] up afternoon gate imagine that so you had a bad day and like how there's more detail on the FBI agent swipe than there was on the international terrorist sitting alone on a hospital bed he just had the place to himself literally the entire like for four floors he had the run of the Walsh Institute [Laughter] look I'm gonna be honest I know you're not my husband but you [ __ ] better so I'm gonna ride this one out how great would really rise into a boom war which is like look I know you're not my husband but let's kill our to kill my husband you and me let's kill my husband and then we can you know a real face off strangers on a train you got it real face off snakes on a plane I would watch the [ __ ] out of that where Samuel Jackson switches faces with a snake holy [ __ ] that'd be great do you know damnit Tito who I don't know I don't remember I'm sure we met him and apparently he died you know Tito like I know he's my third favorite member of the Jackson 5 but beyond that I know very little about him is she gonna start testing him now would he need to I don't know she's like she already knows she should know hold a minute I'm just gonna inside you John let me know you look at it she's got a pen that's all can you eight is that that was like to get to get like a blood sample is there anything that exists I guess there kind of is there's like a finger prick thing first there's the future AIDS testing they just don't have an existing yeah I don't know it's dramatic music is so mainly traumatic a woman scientists Tamayo that's not what he told me but how why have I been taking him this whole time he's got a dick she has AIDS now oh she definitely is Hey oh I've confirmed it's you but I'm still gonna pull a gun on you where'd you get the gun Merrick's I'm sorry I'm idea I don't I keep forgetting you guys have guns and everybody spend a lot of time in Canadian jail and missed a lot of stuff yeah sorry it's been a while show her your dick that's how you is dead Michael just just pull a Louis see face masturbate in front of her yeah she'll know will she I mean she gets a good look at it no we've established her dick identification skills are subpar yeah her D is not to be confused with a D is not to be confused with their dsls or ddos dick das dick dossier man is he talking about her in the third person I hope so and I hate her pushy that's a good story ha ha she had soft sweet tea she's missing some nutrients yeah she had leukemia she's vegan she didn't have any calcium like 97 they didn't have a lot of options tea how great would it be if he's actually castor Troy he just learned all this [ __ ] done his homework or just wanna hang with her not only would it be incredibly manipulative on his end but it would make her look like a [ __ ] idiot yeah by the end of it be like haha no one would believe that it's a win-win system I was just just rank slightly out of focus I think that's just what Joan Allen looks like oh that's right he kept writing it's all right Sean that's mean so we're you know ma'am I have AIDS now what would have been the harm in him telling her he was doing a face I think it's just like net no I think you ask you don't tell anybody you know it'd be a really easy way to identify yourself dental records your teeth that's true your teeth would be the easiest way to stylish nothing like a finger I wish they had switched all their teeth it's like putting your princess having green oh yeah no figure prints and also [ __ ] the teeth so many things like he should have John Travolta's teeth right now like yeah that would have been attention to detail be like yo check out this cavity in the same spot that I've always had it we're like this filling the only one haha that face Colm Feore with the long hair behind me to take out the trash you hon Travolta my lair hey hey baby why are you performing a different face off face off to starring this time and I'm just their eyes I just get so jealous is even frying anymore no he's given up yeah I thought she I thought you were banging this guy you were operating on this brings [ __ ] gangbangers with him everywhere he goes [Music] same-sex marriage try getting married it's all the same sex that's how good that joke one who wrote that joke Robin Williams Oh Mikey actually I feel like I've heard him elevator scoot scoot scoot recants a lot of jokes without crediting them one one Robin Williams joke okay okay I credit any white comedian whose joke is like Amy Schumer and that way you're crediting every other comedian yeah so by crediting her I'm crediting Patrice O'Neal Jim Norton holy [ __ ] you're Nicolas Cage what it was about to do the face thing with wait she doesn't understand my face does that imply he like started having feelings for her I mean I guess yeah I think this movie does whatever the [ __ ] it whines really I think everyone wants to [ __ ] everyone else's girl she's very interested I wish castor Troy had a daughter also so it could go real tit for tat emphasis nice I see what you did there my dear friends hey here we go I was wondering where um all the birds were is this a beach church thing also is that a thing it's America yeah churches everywhere a cheech a Chinese market Oh Birds but wait like good job not afford those for this seat so we just used like locals oh Mack you got a dirty Church it's literally on the beach people just racking the side of the church you'd think that if this was a real thing there would be a bunch of seagulls inside too like with you doves like what's what's segregating the seagulls and the doves the laws they're the holy grail of the sky god the holy animal fire pigeons and doves are the same that's like that's the perfect answer though doves are pigeons with more privilege basically if they get associated with like heavenly church [ __ ] and pigeons get associated with I'm dealing with some white rats look like poverty poverty they're basically the same animal Oh a new boy just ones white that's it they're equally dumb who the [ __ ] is this dove dove dove how many I would like to know just how John Woo coordinates all that [ __ ] they've got dove handlers on set at any given time yeah throw them into the [ __ ] frame I mean like you've answered your own question it's just I it's it's fascinating to think about not like it's overly complicated but just imagining the environment on set really just like this is what I want to do with my movie this is what I'm gonna have people throw pigeons into the air basically if a dove ever heard you call it a pigeon it would murder you I feel like they're the same bird I feel like they are no doves have earned a certain status through hard work I'm making fun of you why is everybody else gone I think it's just like transition to late Beach funeral landed Rio thank you movie Oh or telling me what you were referencing there I didn't understand it yeah showed me the second shot I thought I was doing the YMCA dance he did that he was doing the TMC trans man that battle fly might not but you know it will doves I think that could be comme Fiore this guy no Joe now [Laughter] how could this happen you think she would just stay away from him like get a hotel somewhere comfy all right yeah I would know the night we're doing a face-off then this could have all been avoided Oh totally understandable your son was kind of a bonus took it so personally I only murdered your son I'm sorry I like how bored lay she's standing there like in between their guns Joan Allen just looks [ __ ] bored oh I'd love this great it's like it was his first time swearing and he was not confident about it we're allowed to swear what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] aah everyone's bored she's supposed to be the audience oh great TV little pump things more tense you know as soon as it's a standoff yeah stop caring yeah I don't know why movies treat this as though it's more tense yeah this is just it it never feels like anything intense oh yeah eyes cool down sideways mm maybe up Oh what okay you know okay I'm accuracy yeah he only shoots though the old low arm you know if you just keep cutting and showing Wow Ellison it doesn't really matter what's actually happening we can just imagine what happened you feel I don't know don't show us anything sure all right people died was the laziest [ __ ] sequence you do the work says John Woo your imagination does all the work it's like a horror movie the less you show hmm funny games only the the action is the Horace may be seen in funny games Kyle Reese yeah you showed me funny games I've shown you a lot of movies that I don't remember that's fair have I done funny games - yes not yet okay that was a great movie I'm gonna send you a meeting maker for Saturday hey good night oh now she's really bored she [ __ ] we so poor she fell asleep really peekaboo okay music starts again really really necessary yeah I don't understand the strategic benefit of that flip look six years of tumbling school you're not gonna not do a front roll when you can what why don't you leave if I can just go like she's out to fish instead she fell strategically falling with style why is he why is he using his daughter as a human shield like his real dog he's trying to stop her from night away but he brought her right into the light that's true in the line of fire fake Travolta's gunfire she's where all these guns coming from I don't know it's America you're just picking them off from the plants like another ours that's America's real gun problem is everybody keeps losing them and they're just life's guns everywhere yeah anywhere you look on the ground there's there's a gun are they gonna do this shoot him no shoot him thing they are aren't they I'm the real john travolt they're gonna do it if only we could do that and then kill another boy somehow then this is the best movie whoo pal that's how guns work that's the most effective use of a gun at mendelian he's saying die he's saying please God die it's an X's anti anti religious existential it's a real Nicci situation please God die he's your eyes day white so she knows nothing she knows why is there any conflict shouldn't be any conflict she should how could she even consider that a possibility from them no daughter of mine would shoot so wide we don't know the universe this existed maybe yeah a face-off situation is just the regular yes maybe the doll occur in four she said what are you doing right now she should be like dad you're my dad right she doesn't say anything okay great [ __ ] I'm so glad I saw that good take Joe perfect we got it I felt like I kind of overdid that one you ever got it no no no I was perfect Oh John ISA perfect John really he sounds just like [ __ ] that was John no I left the room for a minute than John Woo came in to tell you how much he liked Jones taken or no it was a [ __ ] course a great touch okay guys just the defensive impression to do it in front of John well why are you a [ __ ] racist I can't believe it god dammit I'm not sure I can associate with you guys I'm a person of color so just letting the audience know cuz they could only light all of its are very colorful not that good because you're gay rainbow ooh all the colors got him do we get a speedboat chase baby CS is officially where act 3 starts really how long have you been doing this I think it's been three hours you know and I think it's like as long as that bomb started like the timer on the bomb it's been like 10 years we're different people sky we are your beers down to your throat I have a great long gravy here real Synecdoche New York holy [ __ ] this this movie ended 40 minutes ago yeah no still don't understand why movies like this think that speedboat chases are cool it's cuz they're appealing some excuse to spend more money it's cuz they're billing to like rich white men who own speed book I guess so and like that's who's watching this movie and it's fantasizing about being [ __ ] James Bond in a speedboat [Laughter] maybe maybe they get sponsored by the speedboat companies in the same way that a lot of action movies with with car chases gets sponsored by the vehicles I want us to buy the speedboat industry they gots wise about big speedboat and I wonder if Chiclets paid for product placement for the speedboats ooh they might have if it was a Chiclets brains I'm gonna say it's also made some other reason they don't sell gum anymore was that a dummy that was just made of nitroglycerin Wow the fireworks effects to also store fire boats on the boat and this their fire boats in the works there you go that was actually the bad you know they have like the festival of lights where there's like firework boats everywhere those like that's like one of the votes I've been attending the festival of voice what what I say you said the real thing okay I said a racist yes I genuinely hear how much nicer with the KKK seem oh my god more like the Republican Party the Republican Party is pretty accurate let's do this snowflakes cuz they're white oh yeah a boat scene still going on yep under philsie another explosion a better part of my day it feels like how long is this pier that they're like [ __ ] sailing in that was some adrenaline pumping going on right there he just barely made it through that's some good steering on that boat they're going super fast they can't slow down and is this speed to cruise control oh my god I understand why they don't slow down where's willem dafoe we might demand willem dafoe he would not have to be very difficult oh my god can imagine all three of those actors and the same movie made a four-blade it played every role in this movie I would have been a [ __ ] brilliant movie they definitely have like a line going to his chest now that's easy to water-ski like this yeah notice he's wearing dress shoes there are shoes chain on the side of the boat it's actually been doing it regular whatever it cuts to a wide shot no I feel it like really obviously in the filming they've given up on hiding the stunt actors it's like completely different hair - he's like not even wearing a suit ie there's gonna be like diehard where you shoot some stuff on the chest and like it comes out the other end I want to say yeah who's driving the boat John Woo oh not the same people no at all were they not even drunk I was late hair Oh theaters it's like it's bigger I mean it's not like the quality didn't exist and I actually specifically remember noticing that on DVD there was a man with light hair pretty much the only thing I remember about this movie watching it when I was like 13 is that shot on DVD on a shitty TV being like that's not the same person yourself but you're like 14 like why would you know if that's Nicolas Cage so yeah this fight scene is still going Beach fight the way to use that shot to like you didn't see the ground you literally could have just had the two actors jump on a trampoline sure and have the same shot quite honestly and if they do any actual stunt work yeah oh my god is that like a Jaws reference yeah it's gonna need a bigger Travolta he does have filler ah it could have you yeah I was half feeling like looking for that Joe now I wasn't looking for it I just noticed it I mean like that's fair he could have he could have just said that I didn't eat I meant it as a compliment but fair enough night oops what I thought I was off the mechanist his hands that he's a heart attack yeah I was gonna say he the FBI with his mind well okay what all right he's like what destroying is like trying to like ruin his face yeah that's the same incision mark I was gonna say that they made earlier pretty much try to ruin it by going along the exact lines it was installed with oh that's some cage I got him you get what keep my name out your mouth what a concept what I need Alesso myself we should all use a little change yeah I still think that the actors should have been reversed for like the maximum I mean what am I think they wanted to do it this way but then like got confused with the face softening they're like yes who the bad guy is silly so he's Nick Cage and triple just a good guy and then we switch oh wait a minute so do we have to the movie would have been better the other way around just for the acting you know I like a slow build up and then maximum payoff like how is she's wearing that pearl necklace let like [ __ ] Bruce Wayne's mother awareness but she gets robbed the same wearing a pearl necklace when Travolta got through or 30 hey Scott Hanson everybody hey president it's very late for roll call but okay really you gotta sort of a side by side yeah and probably not supervise them leave them alone a mystery villo right next to the nuclear codes what's my blood taste like that's technically evidence I'm just saying he's an FBI agent he should know you should know better what if they change your hands during the surgery and you just made a mistake then it would be called handoff Adam that's what they did with the script of this movie to Michael Douglas haha now it's your problem yeah absolutely ABS on that who had abs like that that's like somebody's first out on that one oh he's keeping hunching me he's keeping castor Troy's body oh no it's his body but oh [ __ ] yes yeah sorry but he say both Haslam needs to have his scar back which is like the opposite of what something I would never say that only true YMS fans will understand true YMS fans hate this one cool trick click here miss music though I wish it was somewhere over the rainbow again hey he's such a weird-looking actor I know he's got an unsettling face I think I think it's the borderline insanity behind the eyes that does it you can tell that he's not right he's not right like he he's a Scientologist you know I believe I mean he named his son jet and like apparently he was asked like the reason he named his son Jay's like oh like Jets of my favorite things show named him jet which is weird cuz it by that logic he should have named him men's [ __ ] hey blank nicolas cage named his son kal-el that's pretty rad zero so both of the actors of this movie enough to become directors are [ __ ] weird man the [ __ ] Smith family gone what have you done there you created monsters an interesting group what yeah he's a da hold on he's a boy we got a new one we maybe what a fresh maybe what it's Adam knock this over the other members of the House of dope we're gonna get not just a b-boy but the son of the guy who killed our old boy so I'm reporter stim they've got his blood we can torture him forever I feel like I feel like like the wife would be really opposed to this know like it's lioness to torture his spun okay that's it no harness of you boy okay violation okay oh my god we're gonna find out who [ __ ] dr. nobody said the doctor Oh goddamn there you go well we're all wrong we did it Buzz Lightyear was in us yeah he was great well that was a fun oh they they had a real priest play the priest though the priesthood played like father Michael Sonny that's why I like you save money on cos he's already doing theater in the church he has a 75 million dollar budget but we're gonna need our real breeze to bring his own clothes why wouldn't you make him do that they are a fit they do what you know what they already fit he can bless the set that's true it's funny that was this actual church too that's why they had to go to the [ __ ] beach beach church yeah love beach church wow what a magnificant miss Vegas you know it was magnificant oh why was I saying that phonetically um I don't know because we've been watching a ridiculous movie for a conservative four and a half hours and we've all gone delirious yeah well Michael look how Michael is Mel boom order boom our brain our look at look at my show come on somebody had bad parents Jesus somebody had some evil [ __ ] parents those are [ __ ] evil parents to spill Michael that way highlighter the film anybody I'm gonna say the face off I would say the boy touching yeah that was up there boy sure look child murder in first two minutes first 60 seconds that's a win that's a good opener any way you slice it I don't know if it was able to live up to that after that because if you start that strong you have to come Eiling your list of movies where a child dies in the first 60 seconds now it's got any like tool and that's one of them and then it's probably the sequel there aren't that many movies that's just this period analyze this and analyze this yes those are the ones that's why Robert DeNiro was so sad Billy Crystal had to make them better my boy died Wow a staple of the 90s something that could only exist in the 90s can you imagine pitching that today you couldn't you literally could not there's a lot of 90s movies like and inciting me not in the future yeah that's it no has to be now has to be relatable yeah this man has been shown on cable what 12 third world country only ten times how many times is this aired on cable like this was the cable movie totally the Cable Guy the Cable Guy movie movie Bobby Z Bobby Z area coordinator came rape person yeah came rape person does aren't even [ __ ] if I was that a name that was Travolta's nickname in the movie inferno artists that's a cool job yeah yeah there's not that many good Inferno artists out there I mean you got Dante is one that's about it I'm assuming this film was wildly successful oh I'm sure it made sure it's good money I bet it was expensive but still oh yeah made some bang was a John Woo was allowed to keep making movies in America for some reason after this so it must have done something John we've got a citizenship for this movie Oh single euro for citizenship you're racist what John what guys John Woo came back wouldn't me are you just assuming he sounds like that because it's like actually I've never heard of I'm sure never heard of I use American blood directors commentary what's the question have you ever heard John Woo talk not until he came in here but now good handle on him okay so John what was it like making this movie oh is very exciting make a movie with big Hollywood star John traveller Tom and Nick arrest hey guys I'm gonna throw up thank you John that was great oh you're Adam impression you got any guns seconds oh you're Adam impression go right to do your ad there we go no time rugged is synecdoche Oh perfect okay that's great better than my lovely I'm glad you said those quote

Channel: YourMovieSucksDOTorg

Views: 323,569

Rating: 4.7548532 out of 5

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Id: mA9nHOkYGfc

Length: 139min 54sec (8394 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 13 2018