WONDER WOMAN 1984 - A Nonsensical Dumpster Fire

no god wonder woman 1984 is bad i don't really talk about superhero movies all that much on my channel but i'm happy to announce that that is changing right now i'm sorry about the length of this video because there's a lot wrong with this movie my script is 12 pages long and i'm pretty sure i didn't touch on everything buckle in folks get yourself a snack maybe uh save this video for a plane ride because god dammit so yeah this movie was directed by patty jenkins she made the first wonder woman movie i was pleasantly surprised when i looked her up on imdb that she also directed a movie called monster that i remember liking a lot so yeah i'm not saying that patty is a bad director or anything but i just really did not like this movie at all the only things i remember from the first wonder woman movie is the cool theme song like yeah it's pretty memorable they play that song in this movie too and i also remember the scene of her running across the battlefield which was kind of stupid i think i enjoyed the first wonder woman more but it's more forgettable than this movie this movie is so bad that it will linger in my mind for a while that's not to say there's not good things about it the performances are pretty good for the most part it looks like the actors were having fun with this movie which is a good thing the movie starts this long-winded olympic games event type thing for amazon warriors diana is competing as a child amongst a bunch of adults i guess because she's naturally gifted even at eight years old she can run faster and she's stronger than these full full-grown women yeah it's stupid like it makes your sense that she would outperform these women in any way but whatever they're gods so all logic goes out the window so little baby diana is winning this contest somehow that is until she gets knocked off of her horse by a branch she tries to take a shortcut in order to win the competition anyway what's the matter danny you've never taken a shortcut before but her mother stops her at the last second and tells her that she isn't ready to win yet i mean yeah she's eight years old why was she competing at all i guess these competitions don't have any age requirements that's strange and her mother's like you can't win and cheat you have to be true to yourself it's like this big lesson you gotta be honest be true to yourself and never take shortcuts to get what you want that's the whole theme of this movie and i'm sure they could have stuck to this same message without being 2 hours and 30 minutes long this movie is extremely bloated like goku eating before training bloated so then there's a scene of clint eastwood's doppelganger and friends stealing some rare items from a jewelry store one of the guys drops a gun and everyone around him starts freaking out but how do they know that he just committed a crime he just dropped a gun he could have just been carrying it right isn't this america land of the free and home of the gun owners and the way this bozo drops the gun is hilarious he's like oh boom [ __ ] oh no i can't seem to remember how to use my limbs so the criminals start running for the exits just like everybody else but the cops somehow know exactly who the burglars are so guess what these absolute morons decide to do well the guy who dropped his gun is kind of freaking out right now so instead of just running for the exits in a crowd of people you know you're definitely not going to get shot at by the police if you're in a crowd of people right but instead this guy doesn't want to go to prison again so he decides the best way to keep the cops off of him is by picking up someone's kid and holding them over the mall's balcony why would he do this just run for it you absolute idiot i'm i'm so confused by taking this kid hostage you are displaying to everybody that you are the burglar hello it's me i am the criminal one person screamed gun and the other people just started running for it they don't know what's going on but yeah let's just show everybody that you are the bad guy that's a great idea like how did you ever expect to get out of this scenario it's not like he picked up the kid and left and used him as a hostage or something which would be equally as stupid but i just what i'm astonished at how stupid this guy is i mean he can hardly use his limbs so maybe he's just brainless too it's just a hollow shell there's nothing inside but i guess the movie needed wonder woman to have something to do so yeah she jumps down from the ceiling i guess because they're on the top floor and she saves the child yippee did she have her whip like wrapped around something up there and just hanging up there like a spider she then swiftly defeats all the burglars and then she bundles them all together and she tosses them all from the roof of the mall on top of a cop car she could have easily killed one of them right here but at least she hates guns she said that earlier i hate guns then there's a scene of lonely wonder woman walking around being lonely i guess she's still pining for her long lost love steve despite it being many decades since he died and they only knew each other for a couple of weeks too so i guess she really liked him we are then introduced to kristen wiig's character she's this nerdy weirdo that nobody likes or pays attention to you know in these movies when they want you to feel bad for someone they'll have them like drop all their stuff all their papers will go flying and that's the perfect moment to have two of our characters meet each other well in this case barbara kristen wig's character drops all of her stuff on the ground and her [ __ ] employees just kind of like give her dirty looks why are they being so mean she even tries to talk to this dude who's behind this counter and he just ignores what she says to him why are these guys so mean for no reason thank god wonder woman comes out of nowhere for no other reason than to help her pick up her papers that she just dropped apparently diana has a lot of work to do today i have a lot of work to do that's why she came out into the hallway for no other reason than to pick up the papers so then this other woman appears and she's like hey diana do you know this barbara minerva person despite barbara being right next to her and this woman hired minerva to work at this place last week do you happen to know who a barbara minerva is oh hi carol i i'm me i'm barbara remember you you hired me started last week oh how can you be so careless with your work i guess they're really trying to hammer it home to the audience you know this barbara person no one likes her you see this disgusting she's a weirdo even though she looks completely normal to me in fact she's pretty and her personality isn't super abrasive or anything she's just a normal person that people are being mean and rude to for no reason hey jake jake hi can you i know walk much the latch i'm like i love how she checks off all the boxes you know with like the nerdy weirdo character in these superhero movies she's got the curly hair she's got the glasses there was the riddler there was electro from the amazing spider-man 2 and i'm sure there's others remember how diana was really busy today i have a lot of work to do well she takes some time out of her day to uh hang out with barbara and check out all these random ancient artifacts that she has because she's so busy and she just met this barber person but i guess they just really clicked we really stand wonder woman because because she notices the invisible girl this is when we learn about the magic lamp wait oh sorry the dream stone you touch it and you can ask for a wish and it'll come true i really wish i had a coffee i got erica coffee but she's out sick does anybody want this what i'll take one that's what it does they show barbara as this really caring person like she feeds the homeless in one scene but later in the movie she turns into this like barbaric monster just because she wants to be pretty and she wants to be confident it's such a drastic like radical character change it's funny how they try to convince the audience that barbara is this person that nobody cares about but then later they had this guy cat call at her hey sweetheart you need some help no i'm fine thank you and then he like assaults her on the street he's a very strange man he's like oh you shouldn't be walking alone at night this is dangerous so i'm going to protect you by attacking you it's so weird but thank god diana comes out nowhere and saves her diana just loves coming out of nowhere that's why she's called wonder woman because you just sit there and you wonder how she just kind of like pops up out of nowhere all the time she tells barbara that she lost her keys so that makes sense she lost her keys so she appeared at the exact moment that she got attacked barbara gets back to work uses the stone to wish that she could be just like diana strong sexy cool barbara wakes up the next morning and she's transformed just like that spider-man scene except not really like she looks exactly the same but now people are suddenly noticing her oh okay hey barbara hi jake wow looking good we then meet pedro pascal's character his name is maxwell lord who made him shave i want to know who made pedro shave don't do that please this man was made for facial hair life is good when i saw him in this role i was so confused because i've only ever seen him in roles with facial hair and then i saw him in this and i was like who is that i know that person then i was like oh it's him where did his beard go like he needs the mustache you know i'm not saying he's not an attractive guy he is but the goatee is like part of his thing you take that away and it's like a frog without its hind legs it just looks weird in this movie he plays this tv personality and failing businessman he's in crazy debt to his investors he wants to get rich by finding oil and promising these investors oil but he keeps failing and failing i think pedro pascal was perfect for this role his acting is so good he hams it up like crazy he definitely knows the movie that he's in he was the best part about the movie 100 he really goes crazy and i love it barbara tries on a new dress and wow she looks great you look amazing i am legit feeling a strong nine to a ten because of the wishing stone the wishing stone did it except it didn't maybe it just gave her the confidence to try on the dress it's like those typical stupid movies where like they take someone who's normal looking and they put a dress on them take their glasses off and put makeup on them it's like oh my god they're so sexy now yeah it's just the same person dressed up nothing new here the stone gave her the confidence she needed to to put herself out there more but what it didn't do is get rid of the green screen reflecting in her glasses max knows about the stone somehow he's like been doing research on it for a long time and he knows that barbara has the stone so he meets up with barbara at a work party and his plan is to like seduce her get her into her office and then take the stone he somehow convinces her that he could do some digging on the stone and find out what it truly is for her because he's got some contacts so she's a complete [ __ ] and i guess she really likes him or something so she lets him take the stone even though the fbi is having her look into the stone personally the fbi are going to drop off some artifacts later this afternoon fbi yeah uh yeah i'll help the fbi with whatever they need but hey [ __ ] the fbi whatever just let this guy have it so wonder woman is approached by this random dude at the party she brushes him off at first because she's not interested he's just a random guy who cares all she cares about is her boyfriend that died like a hundred years ago but then out of nowhere this guy starts telling her things that only her boyfriend would know oh my god it's steve steve is in the body of this random guy you don't even know me yes i do i can save today but you can save the world and then she just randomly starts seeing only steve i don't know how that works but you know he convinced her that he was steve so his face just kind of like transformed in her mind to steve makes no sense so yeah earlier in the movie when diana was chilling with barbara and looking at all the artifacts she picked up the stone and just wished in her head that her dead boyfriend would come back and this was after she read the writing on the stone knew it was something special and she made this wish after watching someone touch it ask for more coffee and then immediately getting more coffee like she didn't think that there would be any consequences that this is just like a magic stone that just gives people things so yeah steve commandeered this random dude's body i guess he just hijacked it he plopped himself in his brain he said all right see ya bro my body now he stole this dude's life his identity his home and he doesn't seem to care at all wonder woman doesn't care at all they're just happy you know they're together again oh that's pretty cool and they instantly have sex wonder woman is having sex with this random guy without his consent but it's okay because he's not like conscious in his body isn't that rape she's so selfishly in love that later in the film when she's faced with the knowledge that the wishes are having a disastrous effect on the world she still refuses to even consider giving this poor man his body back max has the stone now and his wish is to become the dream stone i wish to be you the dream stone itself so whenever you touch someone they can make a wish and it'll come true that'd be hilarious if he just turned into a stone i guess he just didn't think about that possibility he was willing to take that risk luckily enough for him he just acquires the stone's abilities and doesn't literally turn into a stone so steve being alive again in this random guy's body is taking it pretty well i mean he's not like freaking out or anything he's just like oh i'm alive again that's pretty nifty he's amazed by all the advancements in technology over the years and he loves pop tarts [Music] that was weird been eating pop-tarts all morning and had about three there's a scene of barbara ripping the door off of her fridge because i guess she's getting wonder woman powers so she's like hey let's test out the strength so she goes to a gym and she lifts like a billion pounds in front of all these really jacked people i think maybe the stone gave her too much confidence max gains power by tricking people like his investor to make wishes that will benefit him i wished that black gold would change the world for all of us and i know you wish that too of course i wish that too then we get some more filler scenes because this movie wasn't long enough we needed more of that diana decides to bring steve to a museum it's really cute i guess and now barbara is the coolest person at work people just can't get enough of her diana confronts her at work and she's like hey where's the stone i know what the stone can do where is it where's the stone barbara um today junior and then barbara's like yeah i just let max have it and diane's like what the [ __ ] are you insane and then barbara's like yo what the [ __ ] bro get off my case not that big of a deal like it's just the fbi like what are you getting on my case for i'm just really stupid so diana and steve go to max's place and find out that he's on his way to cairo they have literally no trouble getting into his place they just kind of like walk in earlier they showed that he had a secretary i guess she just wasn't in today or something now they could buy a regular plane ticket to go to cairo but instead they decide to steal a jet and steve is going to fly it and he has no idea how to operate this particular aircraft very smart but i guess he's just naturally gifted in flight so he figures it out and how are they ever going to escape with this stolen jet you might ask there's radars and these people know that there's a jet being stolen well wonder woman has this random ability to make things invisible how convenient yeah she just touches the plane and she's like all right i'm just gonna make it invisible oh we're invisible now nice and then they decide to fly through fireworks with this invisible plane god forbid anything bad were to happen because if they crashed in this invisible plane it would be kind of tough for people to find them and that's a pretty handy ability you've got there diana but she never uses it why and in 50 years i've only done it once it was just a coffee cup what that's so stupid that's so i can't believe it i'm astonished that they thought putting this in the movie wouldn't break like literally everything i don't even want to begin to put together how many problems this makes for this movie or her previous movie like if she had this ability the whole time who knows what she could have avoided but i guess it's just one of those things right she just didn't remember she could do it until right now that's a pretty useful gift to go to waste and then diana asks him about his natural ability to fly planes and he responds like a four-year-old it's wind and air and how to ride it how to catch it did donald trump write this script [Music] so then we start to see the turning point in barbara's character she's changing she's evil she's letting all this attention and her newfound strength go to her head and they show this to the audience by having the same creep from before who attacked her on the street harass her again and so she just beats the [ __ ] out of him oh no i totally feel bad for this rapey creeper oh man except i don't and she totally should have done that to him so then there's a scene of max promising this egyptian prince whatever he wants in return for his oil after granting his wish the prince tells max that he already sold all of his oil you are silly man so you're telling me that max didn't confirm whether or not this guy had any oil before meeting with him what so then max is like okay well in return for that wish that i granted you that you still have yet to see fulfilled i will take your security team and the prince of security is like all right well i guess we're loyal to this guy now so they just follow him i guess max is magical now so whenever one of these wishes is wished it just kind of happens well it doesn't matter it doesn't make sense it just kind of happens like a wall just springs up out of nowhere because someone wished it i guess since max is the stone he can choose what he gets in return for the wishes that he grants but in this case he chose the oil but the prince already sold all of his oil so wouldn't he just get nothing in return because he has nothing to give you get nothing the answer is no then i will take your security team i guess max can just change what he wants for the wish on a whim that's convenient for him so diana and steve are riding along in an egyptian cab and they see max driving the opposite direction so they buy the cab off the cab driver and they leave him in the middle of the desert so i guess he has two choices he can either hitchhike or die but let's forget about that guy he doesn't matter diana and steve race after max max has his stormtroopers shoot at their car and they only hit the hood of the car because that's where you would want to aim then wonder woman leaps into action she changes into her wonder woman outfit in an instant like that wonder woman now she must be like the fastest changer ever like rip off the clothes bam put clothes on right if you see her wearing the white shirt she's not wearing her wonder woman stuff underneath the shirt unless she made it invisible she made her wonder woman gear invisible but she just wanted to be visible for when she took her other clothes off because she didn't want people to see her tits call me sherlock the alien i got this under control i will find the logic wherever it's hidden so wonder woman jumps out of her car and starts racing towards max's caravan we get this intense scene of her running at them the green screen the effects they're impeccable it totally doesn't look like this scene it's so bad it feels like parody she then sees a bullet being shot at steve just one bullet though and she knows that this bullet's gonna hit steve i mean why wouldn't she know that she takes her whip out and she flings it back to catch the bullet mid-flight now that is some insane precision remember that for the remainder of the movie just in case she ever makes any mistake ever and if you thought that was bad the remainder of this scene is also extremely goofy so max is in the front in his car and there's a bunch of trucks behind him they're carrying something some unknown object diana decides to use one of the trucks as cover so she can approach them safely so one of the trucks is sideways on the freeway like here's the road the truck is like this and she's standing here and running like this pushing it like this and somehow she's faster than the trucks in front of her she can push a truck sideways up a freeway faster than the trucks can drive away from her that is insane do you know how strong you gotta be to do that like whenever this woman punches someone they're dead you know i mean like i wonder woman really cares about life like she puts human life above everything else so she jumps on one of the trucks and rips the steering wheel out of it and she tells the driver the brakes still work because that's all you need right like if you're speeding down a freeway probably going like 70 80 miles an hour and someone rips your steering wheel off all you need is your brakes right there's no way the truck will drift and you will end up flipping the truck and possibly dying there's no way that could happen but at least she told him you know just in case you didn't know like you never know maybe he just forgot that the brakes were there like he forgot the brakes were a thing she also flings this guy off the back of one of the trucks with her whip without a second thought she just kind of like takes a whip wraps it around him and flings him off but he lands safely on the sand like it's just it's made of like marshmallows or something it's like bounces off he's fine you know how when someone flings you off of a moving truck and you just kind of land safely and nothing ever bad happens to these people ever this is hilarious because later in the movie she tells steve to put down a sword because she doesn't want anyone getting killed no steve you can't use that it's not their fault like i'm pretty sure getting sliced by a sword is less fatal than someone removing your steering wheel when you're speeding down a highway but that's just me i don't know maybe i'm wrong [Music] she's giving me conflicting messages here i'm kind of confused one of max's dumb ass stormtroopers somehow miraculously hits wonder woman yeah she gets shot ouch it hurts so she slides herself underneath one of the trucks so the absolute morons in the truck next to the truck that she's hiding under decided to shoot the tires of the truck that she's under i guess they don't give a [ __ ] about what's in this truck you know they don't want to preserve that at all and they don't give a [ __ ] about the driver and why didn't the driver of this truck just stop the truck if she's under the truck and you want to get wonder woman just stop the truck and have everybody point their guns underneath the truck that's a good idea but i guess you could destroy your own truck that works too so yeah the truck does a flip and diana like launches into the air and she lands perfectly on the hood of the car that max is in hello there it just happened to have that perfect trajectory to launch her right where she wanted to be and she's like hey give me the stone max and max was like yo i am the stone that's kind of impossible i mean you could just take me but please don't steve being the genius that he is decides to ram his car into the back of one of these armored vehicles completely destroying his car and doing nothing to the vehicle and then he climbs out of the front of the car and up onto the armored vehicle and somehow steve is able to take control of this military vehicle i guess they open the hatch on top and let them in because they were like hey what's up dude and then he was like this is my car now so i'm just gonna take it from here and they're like all right [Music] remember how strong diana was earlier yeah well she's hanging off the side of one of these trucks and another truck is like attempting to squish her and so she just puts her legs up and she's getting squished oh no she's getting squished isn't this the same woman that pushed a truck horizontally up a freeway faster than other trucks could drive away from her she's got pretty strong legs maybe she's tired but thank god steve is there so he sticks his truck that he just took over you know whatever he sticks his truck in between those two trucks doesn't do much because the truck still is trying to squish her diana then uses her super leg powers that she just randomly decided to use now because she saw that there's kids in the road so she pushes the truck away these men that are driving these trucks they're all monsters there's kids in the road whatever looks like roadkill to me but not to diana wonder woman she cares about life she likes kids so steve and wonder woman are somehow like communicating telepathically and steve tells wonder woman with his mind that he's going to shoot a missile and wonder woman can use the missile with her whip to launch herself towards the kids before they get squished so they do that steve launches the missile wonder woman snatches the missile and she goes flying and she's like flings the missile off to the side there's some more terrible green screen footage and then she swoops down and catches the kids but oh no she can't hold on to her whip oh no so she's on the road with the kids and the trucks are going right for her except they just drive around them yeah they just drive around them i love how all the vehicles just swerve to avoid them anyway making this entire stunt pointless and why were these kids allowed to play in the middle of the street anyway their parents are right there and this is a desert you can see these trunks coming from a long ways away just have your kids move off of the road it's like what six seven steps you idiots i love how steve's role in this movie is just to act as wonder woman's puppy the whole point of him existing is to just follow her around and give her moral support i'm surprised he didn't put like a little vest on him that said support man he's a little support man a little baby man he doesn't care about his own existence his own purpose the fact that he woke up decades later who cares about that you know what is happiness anyway steve's just always happy he doesn't care he loves diana as long as diana's there he's happy you know who cares about anything else he's so nonchalant this entire movie makes no sense like there's even a scene of him trying on different outfits you know like steve is literally wonder woman's barbie doll that she dresses up and brings around with her for a while and that's it so yeah the world's falling apart and max is now in control of more than half of the world's oil reserves so diana steve and barbara go to see this mayan guy and they find out the destruction nature of the stone by looking through the obligatory ancient text that always pops up in these movies like there's always the ancient scroll or the ancient text or the ancient thing you know that describes what the plot device does hey guys you you don't really understand what this thing is don't worry we had some record stuff about it and we just happen to know where it is because barbara found out about it you know she just found it she googled dreamstone then there's a scene where max is granting a bunch of powerful men their wishes one by one it's hilarious he's like grasping onto their hands super tight like come on i look like a crazy person right now but just make a wish please you need who would you what do you wish for it'd be really funny if one of these powerful men was really uncomfortable and he was like uh i wish to be anywhere but here right now and then he just pops up in the middle of antarctica or something like why aren't these people super weirded out by this guy i know i would be there should have been a scene of these guys talking behind max's back and they're like yeah i've shaken a lot of hands in my day bob but that guy in there i'm pretty sure i was molested max's body is like deteriorating in this movie like he has this [ __ ] up eye his nose is bleeding and then his ear starts bleeding like your brain is bleeding out of your [ __ ] ears dude but he still doesn't use anybody's wish to heal himself he uses someone's wish to get rid of traffic but hey the blood that's spewing out of my [ __ ] head who cares he's got strange priorities it's not till the end of the movie when he looks like a [ __ ] zombie that he decides to hey maybe i should use someone's wish to make myself look a little less dead max meets the president and he's like hey president what would you wish for and the president is like if i could wish for anything i would wish for more nuclear weapons than russia so they have to listen to us that's a strange wish mr president out of everything that's what you would wish for wow and in return max wishes for all the power that the president has and more and it just so happens that the president has this little setup in his office it shows something called the atmospheric scatter program it uses particle beam technology to take over everyone's tv so basically max is going to use this to virtually touch people all over the world and use all their wishes he's gonna touch their particles yes it makes no sense but whatever it's a dc movie does anything have to make sense apparently not at the end of the movie when he finally uses this thing they get around this failed logic by having him use someone's random wish to make it work for him and i sure wish this works for me don't you yes sir it's like an insurance wish you know if it didn't already work then at least he's got this backup wish to make sure that it works you know you see it's magic wonder woman shows up and confronts max max has his men shoot at her but she uses her whip like a fan and stops all the bullets that's a fancy move why didn't she ever use that before remember when she got shot before she could have just done this and not been shot whatever hindsight is 20 20 and whatever even superheroes make mistakes so she does this little spin maneuver and knocks down two of max's men the second guy she just kind of trips and he falls on his side but he decides to just lay there on the ground i mean maybe if i was being attacked by this woman with a weird like glowing whip i would decide to stay on the ground too because that's kind of scary she beats up two of them and then the funniest thing ever happens she ejects around out of a pistol and sends it flying into a vase near max in order to stop him from escaping and i guess it miraculously worked some of the vase particles got in his eyes or something i don't know it explodes next to him and he's like oh god ah i guess it would startle anybody but still wonder woman approaches max and is astounded to see none other than barbara attack her and defend max cause barbara likes max because max showed interest in her even though he only won the stone and it's pretty obvious that he only wanted the stone how barbara couldn't see this is kind of strange to me and wonder woman doesn't even bring this up she never says hey barbara this dude doesn't even like you he just wanted the stone but then again barbara is still defending her wish right she really likes her wish to be super strong and and beautiful and all that steve tries to be useful in this movie so he handcuffs himself to max max then says what do you wish once do you want to be a real boy even though max has no idea that steve is inhabiting a body that isn't his own he is having to say like a super relevant thing to the perfect person uh wow okay barbara breaks the handcuffs separating max from steve barbara then leaves with max and steve is left with diana we then learned that the russians instantly and miraculously found out about america's 100 new nukes and so russia decides to fire their nukes at america because they see america's new nukes as an act of war yeah that's totally how it would play out in the real world the president then says we've fired for less what i'm guessing he's referencing the bombings on japan did he forget about pearl harbor i'm guessing he did i'm definitely not saying that dropping the nukes on japan was justified it wasn't only that the president saying we've done it for less is a very stupid thing to say here 2 400 people dying versus getting 100 new nukes you know i would say the new nukes is that's more of a reason to go to war two hours into this movie steve finally convinces diane to make the obvious choice she should have made immediately when she learned about the repercussions of the stone and this poor man's hijacked body so she finally decides to reverse her wish and she leaves steve then wonder woman turns into a bird yeah she starts to fly i don't know if wonder woman can fly i've never read the comics i don't know much about wonder woman i know she has a whip and she's very strong and very fast but i didn't know that she could fly i don't think she can fly i think she's just using her whip to like fling herself forward like really fast but still it looks like she's flying so then max uses this presidential broadcasting system to put himself in front of as many eyes as possible he then asks everybody to make a wish and in return he can then make as many wishes for himself as he wants i guess he just didn't account for all the depressed people out there because they're all dead now because he just murdered them all and what about all the angry teens that wish their parents would die because they hid their nes well i guess all their parents are dead oh and i guess he didn't account for all the in-cell 4chan joker kids that wish the world would just end because there's definitely people out there that wish the world would just blow up so yeah i'm pretty sure immediately when he made this broadcast the world would just end everything would end immediately when he did this i mean he's broadcasting all around the world surely he would have one of these crazy people make that wish i guess they just got really lucky with who saw the broadcast let's ignore that though he uses these wishes to turn barbara into a super strong furry i'm not joking i guess she's cheetah now you know cheetah the well-known uh wonder woman villain i've never heard about her but now i do know about her this is what she looks like in the comics this is what she looks like in this movie i think i prefer the comics i do like the message of this movie that people hardly actually want what they wish for they show that with a bunch of different people there's this one girl who wishes to be famous hey i want to be famous and then she's instantly faced with the horrors of being famous like a bunch of belligerent fans coming out of nowhere and starts screaming at her while she's working well i wish you dropped it and what if one of these millions of people that watched this broadcast thought that max was really annoying and wished that he would die i'm pretty sure if this was the real world at least one person would wish that he would die imagine if that's how the movie ended someone wishes that max dies and then max dies and all this gets reversed that'd be hilarious one woman didn't have to do anything so then there's a scene of wonder woman riding lightning with her whip like literally riding the lightning maybe patty jenkins really likes metallica or something who knows so wonder woman retreats her bird armor this makes flying much easier for her and then she finds the broadcasting station she just kind of shows up she's like hey guys i'm here time to put an end to all this how does she know where this broadcasting system is located beats me so she clears out all the guards and is then faced with cheetah i like how the cheetah lines on cheetah's face and it's very obviously bad makeup it's not like authentic lines it looks like she walked into a bathroom with like eyeliner and just drew on her face they couldn't make her face fuzzy i mean she's a cheetah so yeah they fight it's an epic fight cat lady versus bird lady wonder woman has her whip so cheetah uses power lines to swing around and fight there's a part during the scene where she jumps from the ground and grabs a live sparking wire that's flying through the air and uses it to swing come on dude if you're this close to the ground and you touch a live wire you're gonna get electrocuted there's no way and then there's a part when she's swinging from the power line and uses her feet to launch herself off a utility pole what the pole would ground her she would be crispy cat she would be a crispy dead cat right now i guess not and then there's a part when cheetah and wonder woman are tangled up and breaking a bunch of power lines they're just kind of like swinging through them so stupid wonder woman and cheetah end up in some water and then a power line hits the water and it only electrocutes cheetah despite the fact that they're both in the water i guess wonder woman is an electric type yellow wings zapdos she's zapdos i was gonna continue the joke by comparing cheetah to a cat pokemon that hates water like incineroar or something but then i found out about the fan-made cheetah pokemon cheatric which is an electric dark type so thanks for that whoever made pokemon solar light and lunar dark appreciate you so in order for diana to put a stop to all this she has to either one kill max which she won't do because you know she doesn't like killing despite all these other things she's done but anyway or option two miraculously have everybody that has made a wish renounce their wish which is obviously impossible right some people who have made wishes have died already so they can't renounce their wish they're dead and then there's a bunch of people that probably made wishes with him that don't watch the broadcast so they can't renounce their wish but yeah guess which one ends up working this is the dumbest part in the movie i swear to god somehow she convinces everyone on earth to renounce their wishes by using her whip to broadcast herself across the world she like wraps her whip around max's ankle he didn't notice somehow and he's standing in this thing that's like broadcasting him i guess and she's able to convince everybody to announce their wish renounce your wish i mean yeah the world's looking pretty shitty right now people are launching nukes left and right so a bunch of people renounce their wish but everybody everybody surely there are some poor people out there that wished for food to feed their children why would they ever renounce their wish and what about the thousands of drug addicts out there that wish for an endless supply of crystal meth i'm sorry but there's no way in hell they would renounce their wish so yeah the russian nukes are on their way to the states and i guess none of the americans who know about the nukes decide to wish these nukes would go away i mean everybody at this point must know about this weirdo who grants wishes right like clearly the president knows that this guy's wishes they work after like a hundred nooks drop into his lap randomly so the president knowing that there's russian nukes on their way to kill them all wouldn't he go to someone and be like hey find max touch him and wish that the russian nukes would just vanish please do that right now but instead they just show like a bunch of nukes going off i guess everybody's shooting their nukes everybody shoot their nukes you guys can see how broken this wish plot device is right like it's so broken i can poke holes in it all day i can make like a 10-hour video about this movie so then max remembers that he has a son and he knows that there's nukes getting launched at them and he's like oh i don't want my son to die like screw all these other people but my son i kind of want him to live so he renounces his wish i guess if he didn't have a son he would just let the rest of the world blow up okay max has all these wishes at his disposal why wouldn't he just wish that the nukes would disappear like all the nukes will just go away right what's the point in being the most powerful man in the world that doesn't have any people on it and has a [ __ ] ton of radiation everywhere right so everyone starts renouncing their wishes and all the terrible [ __ ] that happened and reverts back to normal they show this montage of people renouncing their wishes all across the world a bunch of them speaking different languages but in order for them to have made a wish they would have had to have spoken english right in order to understand what he was saying unless he had a bunch of translators i'm clearly thinking too far into this barbara also renounces her wish cause i guess she finally realized that she's taken this too far i think the moment she grew a tale she would renounce her wish right like that's kind of weird she's not really beautiful anymore i mean maybe to furry she's beautiful but if her goal was to be powerful and beautiful and have people admire her why would she want to be a cat woman at the end of the movie max goes to the place where he saw his son last and he finds him there and they hug and i guess his son forgives him and yeah whatever diana meets up with the guy whose body she didn't mind hijacking he seems perfectly fine for someone who just woke up from a wish-induced coma wonder woman does some more flying and then the credits roll so yeah the movie is kind of stupid there are some good things the performances for the most part were pretty good the score was great pedro pascal was amazing he makes a great maniacal villain i think gal gadot plays the role pretty well so yeah guys that's it i've been rambling for like a billion years so i'm gonna end this video it'd be really cool if you guys checked out my clothing line alienclothing.com we have a bunch of really awesome stuff over there that i think you might like let me know in the comment section down below what you'd like me to review next and follow me on twitter because sometimes i ask you guys to vote for something i review and i guess that'll do it thank you so much for watching i appreciate it till next time goodbye do [Music] [Music] uh [Music] you

Channel: Elvis The Alien

Views: 1,567,354

Rating: 4.9133306 out of 5

Keywords: Elvis the Alien, ElvistheAlien, wonder woman 1984, ww84, wonder woman

Id: kWeBvK8iM6U

Length: 44min 42sec (2682 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 22 2021