Wife Told She's Divorcing Me If I DARE To Take PATERNITY Test On My BABY Who Looks Like HER Coworker

why is your marriage falling apart i am convinced that my wife's son is not mine i believe that her work husband as she called him is the actual father ever since the baby was born three months ago i've had these thoughts brewing i told my wife last night that i wanted a paternity test and she said i know that the test will come back with you as the father but if you get one consider our marriage over i have small blue eyes pale skin and blonde hair as do my parents grandparents and siblings my wife has small blue eyes and red hair everyone in her family has either blue eyes and blonde or red hair yet our baby was born with an olive skin tone and huge brown eyes you know who else has huge brown eyes and an olive skin tone her so-called work husband ryan for the sake of the story that i believed she may have had an affair with last year one of my wife's co-workers is married to a co-worker of mine he is the one who came to me and confided that his wife believed there was something fishy going on with my wife and ryan they were getting unnaturally close spending time together alone even though they don't directly work together and the way they were interacting with each other was causing rumors to spread throughout their office his wife knowing that he knew me wanted to warn me that something may be up i asked my wife about her relationship with ryan and she said he was her work husband just someone that she could trust and be herself with at work unlike everyone else i told her that i was extremely uncomfortable with the way their friendship sounded and asked that they spend a little less time together she agreed and that was the end of it a few months later we discovered that she was pregnant this was genuinely happy news for us both and we were excited to become parents at a baby shower planned by some of her work friends and held at her office i met ryan and got a good look at his appearance my wife and i were in a great place and very happy the entire pregnancy and we're super excited to welcome our little one yet despite always wanting to be a dad when the baby was born i didn't feel a connection to him the first time he was put in my arms i expected to be overtaken with emotions the way i'd always heard i would it makes me feel bad to say it but i just felt kind of empty instead i chucked it up to nerves not being able to be in the room when he was born as the months have passed and the baby has gotten bigger i've noticed how little he looks like myself and my wife his skin and hair have gotten darker the nose doesn't seem to match either of ours and he even has a cleft chin when no one in my family does and none of my wife's come to mind that do either seeing him age has just further given me more doubts last night i admitted to my wife my fears and asked if there was a way that the baby isn't mine she reacted extremely negatively as i figured told me that she'd never been more insulted and said that she had never and would never cheat on me with ryan or anyone i told her for my peace of mind i wanted to have a paternity test and that's when she said that if i got one she would consider our marriage over regardless of the test results i know that if my wife actually was faithful she has every right to be offended by concerns but i've of the mind that the fact that the child was conceived around the time she was hanging out with work husband and he has features that match him justify my concerns and also i question how it's all fair for my wife to want to leave me if the baby is both ours just because i wanted that confirmation do you think my wife's behavior is shady ladies how would you respond in this situation if you were my wife i wish i could have just swabbed the kid myself and i probably will if she keeps acting irrationally i just feel like her response is over the top and indicative that something did go on between her and ryan what are your thoughts might as well go for it either the kid comes back yours and you get a divorce the kid comes back not yours and you get a divorce or you don't test at all and it eats you up for eternity were there any other indications that your wife cheated like working late changing the way she dressed sketchiness with phone etc i guess it's one thing for office rumors but on its own doesn't add up to much people get bored and gossip having said that you can always get a test without her knowing you've already broached the topic so just go ahead and get the test you need to figure out where you stand in terms of being a parent one way or the other for the sake of this child don't differ let him bond with you then ghost he's innocent in all this and deserves a father who is going to be a father stay or go but don't put off this decision figure it out asap i 24 female gave birth to my daughter six months ago and it should have been the happiest moment in my life when my daughter was born her skin was very dark and looked like she could have two biological parents who were of african descent my husband jim 26 fake name was furious and accused me of cheating and left right there and then he told everyone on both sides of the family what happened made posts on social media and wanted a divorce his family and a lot of our friends all called to say how upset they were at me and called me really nasty names my mother was by my side the entire time and i kept professing my innocence jim refused to pick me up from the hospital threw my stuff out on the lawn and changed the locks so i had to stay with my parents when my sister called to ask for the baby stuff jim texted me pictures of the bear nursery room and said he got rid of everything he even destroyed my art studio i like to paint and the art i made and told me my work would be too awful to sell i was distraught and tried to focus on my baby weeks went by and jim refused to speak to me directly and has never once asked about our child eventually agreed to do a paternity and he was 100 the father no one could believe the results and it was done again jim's the dad around that same time one of jim's cousins did the ancestry thing and there was around 30 percent of african ancestry in the family this combined with the test jim's paternal great grandmother admitted to having an affair around the time jim's grandfather was born and because he could pass she just assumed her husband was the father since then jim has been reaching out and everyone has come to apologize and while it did feel good to feel vindicated the damage has been done i can't un-hear or unsee all the horrible things that were said and done not just to me but to my child as well jim made some very insulting remarks things that i thought he'd never say and he did it so easily regardless of what our daughter looks like i don't want her to be around that what else will jim and his family say or do the next time they get mad how are they going to treat our daughter when she does something that upsets them jim has been begging for forgiveness i said i needed time he asked to see the baby and i let him but i'm too afraid to physically hand her to him he's repairing the nursery and keeps asking me what i would like and i cry every time saying we already had what i liked and some of the items that we had can't be replaced he asked me if i still loved him and i admitted that he showed me his worst self and i don't know if i could live with that image i didn't mean to be hurtful but it's how i feel my sister suggested couples therapy but i don't feel like i should have to work to fix something that i didn't break i've never cheated and i have been 100 innocent in all of this the whole time am i wrong for not wanting to give jim a second chance you are not wrong regardless of who is right or wrong he handled the situation horribly if he really loved you or was a good person he would have just asked for a paternity test from the beginning instead he destroyed your things etc this makes it very clear how he and his family will react to situations i'd stay away and not forgive him good luck you know what is forgivable his initial thought that the child was likely not his i think we can all agree it would be disconcerting to have two caucasian parents produce what looks like a non-caucasian baby you know what is potentially unforgivable everything he did after that he could have easily told you to stay somewhere else or he could have stayed somewhere else until you got the necessary paternity the shouting the social media throwing clothes out that's up to you to figure out if you can forgive it or not you are not wrong if you decide you can't i will say though regardless if you stay with him regardless if you forgive or not you should allow him to start bonding with the baby because it is his child too that's not forgiving or forgetting it's just making sure the baby has a chance to bond with her father for context i am 44 male and i'm the second youngest within my own family of nine my father passed away in my 30s and my 78 year old elderly mother lives in my native country and i go to visit her with my family each year this year because of global situation and restriction we couldn't go in early june as intended recently however i got news that she was deathly ill and thankfully airways opened up so i could go visit her i love my mother with my entire being so of course i would be by her side once i arrived in my country i was put to isolation then afterwards went to see my mother it was at this time that i got a phone call from my wife that our second eldest nearly adult daughter got into an accident on her way back from school and was in critical condition at that moment i didn't know what to think and my wife urged me to come back and be by our daughter's side on one side my daughter is in critical condition and the other my mother is dying i admit i had hope that my daughter would make it and chose to be by my mother's side and she passed on after a few days by the time i rushed back to be by my family's side my daughter had passed away as well i don't know what to do my wife has locked herself away cries non-stop and won't talk to me and my other kids are all angry with me saying i betrayed their sister by not honoring her dying wish that i be by her side my daughter and i had always been very close and she was the goofball within our family it breaks my heart to know she had been calling out to me the entire time and i wasn't there for her i seriously don't know what to do on one hand family members have been telling me i did good being by my mother's side but others are saying i should have been with my daughter as she was young and it was her dying wish i'm so lost this is tearing apart my family please someone tell me if i did wrong or right i seriously don't know i just want this immense guilt to go away my condolences opie not only have you lost two women you love you're in a tough spot when it comes to everyone else's grief you and your family have all of my sympathy this is probably beyond anyone's pay grade on reddit get yourself and your family into grief counselling asap your situation needs professional intervention edit to add do not let guilt eat you alive it's hard not to feel some level of it in a loss such as what you've experienced but you deserve your own forgiveness i've been there i know how heavy the guilt of not being present is i'm still figuring out how to completely believe that i deserve to let the guilt go but it weighs a lot less now that i've been processing my grief with a therapist best wishes op be gentle with yourself this is really tough two people in your life who were very dear to you passed away i would say no one is wrong here you went there to be with your mother and you even needed to be isolated before you could see her you would probably have had to be isolated to come back and see your daughter if i understand the timeline of things correctly even if you had come back when you were told to you would have had to isolate yourself which would have made you unable to be by your daughter's side anyway my husband and i had a baby 10 days ago i was discharged five days ago giving birth to my son was highly traumatic to my body and i'm in pain i never thought was possible to be in we're both on parental leave i mainly lie in bed trying to heal guessing up is extremely painful so i told my husband that he would have to change all nappies and when the baby cries at night he has to get up and hand him to me so i can feed him at first this was okay but today he told me he's tired of doing all the work and i should change at least some nappies and take him a few times by myself at night we got into an argument about it i'm just so angry i'm in so much pain literally just pushed out a huge baby and my body is messed up i haven't slept properly in four months and i just want to heal the pregnancy and birth was so traumatic that i honestly don't understand how anyone can have more than one child like i love my son but i'm messed up just completely knackered my husband said he's tired too and we both wanted to be parents so we should actually be parents no one is wrong here you just had major abdominal surgery medical recommendations are bed rest and the only thing you can lift is baby to feed him you are complying with this however if you're still in this much pain after 10 days i would definitely recommend calling the doctor to check if it's normal you might have an infection i'm not gonna call dad is wrong either because watching your wife go through traumatic surgery can be very hard on dads too he's also operating on zero sleep and getting accustomed to new fatherly duties without the support he was anticipating sucks for you both but you will get through it i promise the first few weeks are the hardest small update i showed my husband this post and he was really embarrassed he apologized and said he's just overwhelmed mainly because he nearly lost me and he's scared to make a mistake with the baby he's apologized profusely and has been changing the baby every time since now i just want to say i'm not a mama's boy my mom and i have a decent relationship but we are very different people and not particularly close my son is a month old now and my parents hadn't met him nor had they been pushy or aggressive my wife never liked my parents but everyone was civil on both sides until she got pregnant and decided she didn't want them in our son's life my wife's reasoning makes no sense to me she doesn't want our son to know his grandparents because my mom's best friend's husband is a nasty person we don't live in the u.s and i don't want to give any identifying details but this guy is a very important politician in our country ridiculously rich and pretty much everything that is stereotypically wrong with such people he is greedy corrupt and has screwed everyone for his corporate friends that being said he has no direct impact on our son if my mum has us over it's to spend time with family and she doesn't have her friends there my mom and this woman have been best friends for 30 years and in one of those rich circles where the women never work outside the home but have like 10 housekeepers meaning they are together pretty much all day every day and there is no way my mom would give up her friend for my son i told my wife point blank that she doesn't get to blacklist my parents from our child's life over this guy i will respect if she doesn't want them to babysit but our son is going to meet them my mom doesn't know much about my wife's reasoning and a couple of days before her son was born she wished her friend a happy birthday and posted a picture of the four of them on a ski trip and my wife got very upset saying if my mom wants to go on luxury vacations with that man she doesn't need to know our son today i invited my parents over my wife wasn't happy but i told her up front that i gave her a month and my parents have been nothing but respectful my wife stayed in her room and my mom was only there an hour and a half as she really isn't a boundary pusher my wife thinks i'm a huge idiot based on what you said this politician has done and how your parents may have benefited from his actions i'm actually going to say you are the idiot or at least everyone's wrong here because i don't know why your wife would have a child with someone who also sweeps evil deeds under the rug as long as they're not affected in a negative way she is choosing too late to not be a part of your family but why don't you confront your parents about their poor values if your mother is best friends with that woman and her husband spends nearly every day for 30 years with them and benefits monetarily from them then this isn't about your mom's friend's husband's values it's about hers directly i 32 female have been married to my husband 34 for 7 years and together for 10. he and his ex 35 female have got two children together girl and boy my husband and i have three children together boy and two girls my husband's ex has four other children and she's a single mom my step-kids are the only kids of his ex who have a father involved i provide that information because my husband's ex has been struggling the last two years after the birth of her youngest because of this my husband started providing more for my step-children which is what the kids deserved but now she has asked for increased child support for us me to take her other four children sometimes to help her out and i have a problem with that this woman has been less than kind to me since day one she engaged in parental alienation which we still feel the effects of even though it has gotten better in the last four years since the judge threatened to change the parenting time if she didn't cut it out the kids are still distant with me and favor their other siblings but we're still in a better place than we were i still don't like their mum she tried to get me arrested because i picked my step-kids up from school on my husband's parenting time actually called the police and i was forced to provide the court order and proof it was my husband's parenting time all the while she encouraged the kids to stay in the car she has also allowed and encouraged her younger kids to bully mine we had an issue with my older two and two of her kids i had to get my son moved to a different class and sent my middle to a different daycare i know my husband feels we need to help her because she's the mother of his kids and i respect if he wants to give some of his time but he will not offer mine and i have told him this i also don't want him taking from our family and putting us in financial hardship which what they are talking about would do i also told him to think of what it would be like for our kids being around kids who have been taught how to be unkind to them i also fear it will hurt them to see their older siblings love on the others and not them which have happened before am i the idiot here not the idiot the fact that his ex hasn't figured out birth control is not your issue to deal with if her kids treated you and your kids with respect it might be different in regards to allowing them all to come to your home the ex wants her to take in all the kids to give her a break that means opie would be expected to look after eight kids that's insane not the idiot your husband's ex is toxic and you have to make clear to your husband her poor life choices are not your husband's nor your responsibility i actually feel bad for your step-kids because they are being brought up in such a toxic environment your husband is only responsible for his kids that he had with her she is responsible for the rest of her kids the fact that she wants to increase child support because of kids that aren't your husbands baffles me you are not wrong opie i hope you get through to your husband and work this out for the better [Music]

Channel: XO

Views: 211,968

Rating: 4.892611 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit girl, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit affair, reddit marriage, reddit divorce, reddit toxic wife, reddit paternity test, reddit wife reacts to paternity test, reddit cheating, reddit affair baby, reddit marriage drama, reddit paternity, reddit work affair

Id: 96vm8WTk3eQ

Length: 19min 32sec (1172 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 17 2020