New Wife Demands I Give My Sick Son's Maternal Money To Stepson Because My Kid Won't Make It Anyway

people who sparked family fight this time i male 39 have a son with a chronic condition since he was a little kid he currently has hearing impairment which is a problem that occurred not too long ago hearing aid prices are high and i paid a lot of money although i'm struggling financially but it was a necessity since my son needed it i also constantly deal with many issues aside from that i got married to my wife a year ago i have a stepson he's doing well in school and he's perfectly healthy this year's holidays we stayed at home because my son was a little sick and we didn't get to see my family however they contacted me later on to tell me that since i'm struggling and haven't planned for my son's future being busy with all that's going on every day his grandparents aunts and uncles decided to open and contribute to a 529 college savings plan to give my son an opportunity for a better future and let him afford the costs of college i never asked for money my son always got toys and clothes on whatever occasion but my family asked about how important education is and seeing how much i'm struggling with my son's health issues the family got together and decided that this will help a lot it's my son's dream to be able to live a normal life and so he was so happy when he learned about the family's gift for him my wife started talking about how unfair it is for me and my family to treat her son like he's not family and that my family displaying favoritism by taking care of one kid's education and ignoring the other and said that i should split the money between them first of all i wasn't aware of their decision i didn't ask them nor plan for this with them and two it's a gift from them to their grandson i don't get to tell them how to spend their money so for the argument with them about why they didn't include my stepson isn't valid it's their decision and it's very generous of them since my son's been through so much my wife argued with me and that her son heard about this gift i'm not sure since he never brought it up nor seemed upset and he'd resent not just me but my entire family because of this i asked her what i was supposed to do decline the gift and deny my son an opportunity to go to college we argued about it over and over she ended up telling me that i should never accept anything from my family unless it's for both kids i was so mad i left for a couple of hours to cool off it's like she has no idea how much my son would benefit from this gift and my family said that this is for him not me so i don't think it's fair for me to say no just because my wife thinks they're playing favorites your wife is off base here i wonder if her son had been given a college fund if she would immediately think to cut it in half and give it to your son i don't think so i just don't think so i am grateful for those kind relatives of yours who want to make your son's life a little easier if you had started this fund for your son with nothing for stepson i could understand wife's feelings a bit better but the fund is a gift and it's based on a family's concern for a child with disability your wife qualifies as the idiot you are not wrong you've only been married a year and she expects your family to contribute to this kid's college fund it's not favoritism it would be favoritism if they bought your son an extravagant present like a game console and then nothing for the stepson they are investing in your son's future that's hard to do for someone you barely know hang on a minute you've only been married for a year right i get why you haven't been able to save a college fund for your son that money having been consumed by medical costs instead and why hasn't she in the 13 years prior to marrying you been saving for her child's college fund why is she expecting people who have only been his extended family for one year to do something she as his biological mother hasn't bothered to do for him herself that's ridiculously entitled you are not the idiopy and personally this would require a serious conversation if it happened in my marriage before you crap yourself calm down and hear me out i've been with my girl for two years now and known her for three and since i've known her she's had a really bad habit of making fun of people mostly behind closed doors but sometimes in front of them now i'm all for edgy humor i actually like it but there's a difference between making jokes and being a witch i always tell her to chill but she never listens well this past weekend we went out to eat at a local place and our waitress was a bit on the heavy side not fat by any means but a bit chubby all things considered she looked good about an 8 out of 10 without makeup and she was being really nice to us we ordered and when she walked away my girlfriend started making fun of her weight the girl looked back at us then kept walking i told my girl that the waitress heard her and she said she didn't care she's still cracking jokes as the waitress comes back with the drinks and it's obvious she's holding back tears my girl is just giggling and staring at her i got mad and said why are you laughing she's thinner than you she got up and walked out to the car i paid for the food which wasn't even ready left a 20 tip apologized to the waitress and we left she didn't say a word on the way home since then every time she speaks to me she starts out by asking me to apologize she just texted me 6am my time asking when i was going to apologize for what i said it's starting to get annoying my brother and my dad said that i was too harsh especially since we were in public but i don't think so girlfriend or not if she can't take the same stuff she puts out then she needs to close her stupid mouth i've wanted to stop picking on people but she didn't listen the only way she's getting an apology from me is if she gives one to the waitress if she can't do that then she needs to stop bringing this up it's that simple and i'm sticking to that so what's up am i the idiot this time because if i am i'm not seeing it not the idiot why are you dating someone so insecure that she needs to tear others down to feel okay you sound like you don't even particularly like your girlfriend that much and i don't blame you apologize for not breaking up with her sooner light you are all idiots here mostly you are not wrong it's rude to rape women on a scale of one to ten and you could have been the bigger person pun not intended and not returned to your girlfriend to comment on her weight that said your girlfriend was being awful and didn't care about the waitress i'm glad you tipped the poor waitress and your girlfriend was out of line in conclusion your girlfriend's ugly behavior was bad you should apologize only to the waitress and your girlfriend needs to deal with her insecurities without dunking on other women dude who dates someone this horrible for this long either you are just as mean and won't admit it or you don't think very highly of yourself if you don't demand change or break up with her she's going to keep being this disgusting who mocks people behind their back like that who puts up with someone talking nonsense about others for three years please break up with that fat phobic inconsiderate bully go back to the restaurant and ask the waitress out on a date please don't go to a woman's place of employment and ask her out unprompted without any indication she's single or into you it's the absolute worst i'm an insulin dependent diabetic i have been since birth i'm on a pump and don't have a problem affording my supplies god i usually have extra insulin just in case my brother knows this he lives with me and is pretty active in my care he's always asking me how my sugar is he helps make diabetic friendly meals and is the first to help when i'm too high or too low a few months ago his girlfriend was diagnosed with diabetes and put on insulin i have helped where i could with teaching her how to keep her sugar in line she's such a sweet girl and i hate that she's going through this unbeknownst to me she was having problems affording her medicine i would have been more than happy to help her if i'd been told because i know firsthand the effects of not having it last week i had to refill my pump and notice my supply was a lot lower than normal i asked my brother if he remembers how much i had gotten last time he said he didn't know i figured i messed up and it was fine a few days later at christmas eve his girlfriend came over hugged me and thanked me for the insulin i was furious not at her but at my brother i admit i yelled at him he didn't feel bad about it and kept saying it was no big deal i had enough to spare i told him to pack his crap and i called the police he was arrested for the theft of my medicine his girlfriend was upset and i have offered to pay for her insulin for a few months as you can imagine our parents are mad that i had him arrested the day before christmas they bailed him out but are now giving me the silent treatment until i apologize and pay them back they said that he's family and i had more than enough to spare i'm starting to think i'm in the wrong because he was just trying to help his girlfriend and everyone is right i do have enough to spare but i can't get over the fact that he did that to me am i the idiot not the idiot he stole from you he didn't ask you to help he didn't even give you the chance screw him he stole your medicine necessary to live doesn't matter if you have extra you may not always omg you are not wrong you having enough to spare doesn't mean you can give it away have it stolen is she taking the same insulin as you if not that can be very dangerous your brother is in the wrong and so is your family for saying it's okay you were all idiots here what he did was wrong and you were completely within your right to have him arrested however i still feel like it was a huge overreaction if he was unwilling to accept responsibility and pay you back that would be a one-way ticket out of my life however calling the police to have your brother who spends a lot of his personal time to care for you arrested a day before christmas god that's ice cold opie jail isn't fun it's not a joke and can cause serious mental health issues just being there throw away due to several family members browsing reddit i never had the best family life although i wouldn't say it was bad far from it i am rather happy my parents divorced when i was young leaving me 24 male and my younger biological brother 21 split between my parents who did their best to raise us but during my brothers who i will call jack high school years he met a girl who changed all that this girl who i will name denise is a borderline sociopath who loves to see others suffer slowly she dissolved all the friendships jack had built up over his life even with his three best friends after jack left for college the college denise chose for him so that they could go together he became such an awful person the only times he would come home was to ask my mother for a favor or for money and being the loving mother she is she would oblige jack then started to become colder to her not talking to her when she didn't have enough money to give him refusing smaller gifts and snacks that she would put in care packages and little things like that then i came home to find my mother crying apparently she invited him to come home and have dinner on his winter break denise took the phone from him and told my mother that she was a disgusting person to try and force him to drive two hours just to have some food other things were said and then she laughed at my mother over the phone saying something along the lines of he's mine jack agreed and told my mother to quit trying to force him to do things he doesn't want to do i called him and said some choice words i also basically told him that denise was never welcome around me ever again and then that was all i heard from him for about two and a half years recently me and my girlfriend got our first apartment my mother told jack and jack called me and said he was sorry and that he would like to patch things up i told him he could come over when he was in the area and we could talk over a drink or something two days ago he called and said he was headed over guess who was with him denise was at the door thanking me for agreeing to smooth things out over dinner something i did not agree to and that she was glad i was apologizing to them for being an idiot i looked at jack told him to leave and shut the door in their faces my mother called me about an hour later and asked why i did such an awful thing to jack having him drive all the way over to my new house just to shut the door in their faces i told her what happened but she still doesn't seem to understand that jack is being brainwashed i am not allowing her under any circumstances into my house am i the idiot not the idiot just go no contact until they eventually break up and when they do don't pull any i told you so nonsense just be supportive sounds like he's in a really toxic situation that only he can get himself out of you are not the idiot skip the boundaries you set in the past what she said at your doorstep was enough to bar them entry even if you had explicitly invited them both over your brother is complicit in all of this he may be somewhat under her influence but he is not blameless in how things have turned out you are not wrong look at denise try to exploit this one crack in an almost closed door and blame you for their past behavior do you think she was actually expecting you and girlfriend to buy them dinner really you are a decent guy for being open to patch things up with your brother and it's okay to stay available for bro if when the fog lifts but keep your boundaries firm with that woman good luck i live with my wife 39 and my two kiddos girls one of my daughters is autistic the other is adopted and came from quite a difficult background so they both need a bit more attention and care than most kids their age i was taking a walk with my two daughters yesterday and my biological daughter got a little overwhelmed and did her usual coping mechanism of sitting on the ground sucking her thumb my adopted daughter always gets stressed out when her sister is upset so she was also sitting on the ground cuddling her i'm trying to comfort them both while also trying to keep them away from the yellow snow that they're coming dangerously close to lying in when we run into someone we know she's the mother of one of the kids my daughter goes to school with i wouldn't say we're friends as we have very little in common aside from that but we have a decent amount of rapport seeing the situation she asks if everything is okay i told her it was and just they don't really handle crowds and noise very well but that everything's fine she reaches out pulls bio daughter to her feet and asks very kindly but a bit intensely if everything is okay bio daughter really doesn't like being touched by strangers and breaks away to cling on to me friend tries to hug adopted daughter who does the same i'm having a bit of an issue processing all of this i have autism too so i take a few seconds to react and by the time i've taken everything in my friend has her hands on both of my daughters quite tightly and is saying how rude they're being i snap and start shouting at her to get her hands off my children she starts crying runs off later she sends me a facebook message she apologizes for what she did and says that her oldest daughter had died a few days ago and that seeing my kids had triggered a lot of negative emotions in her i apologize back to her for cursing her out and said that if she needed any help with anything to message me she said what would really help was getting my kids to apologize to her i responded copying and pasting for full disclosure i'm really sorry but i don't think i can do that i know your actions were understandable given the circumstances but at the end of the day my children reacted the way they did because there was an adult putting her hands on them without permission and i don't want to teach them that it's wrong to break away when someone does that i'm really sorry for all the pain you're going through my brother passed away a few years ago and i was a wreck and if there's anything else i can do please let me know she responded unbelievable and blocked me am i the idiot at the end of the day my first responsibility is to my children and i did what i thought was best for them but i maybe should have been more responsive to her pain absolutely not the idiot she harassed and basically assaulted your children when they are upset and overwhelmed they did nothing wrong so they don't have to apologize grief isn't an excuse for awful behavior you are not wrong she overstepped every boundary your daughters have she is the one who should apologize and i mean with sincerity she apologizing and later proceeding to ask your daughters to apologize to her was like i'm only going to say sorry because i want them to say to me too not because i really think i did wrong she was an adult touching two kids without permission your daughters have nothing to apologize for and you acted really well telling her so i 26 female was pregnant with my son six months ago when i lost it at 19 weeks though i consider him stillborn because he was so close to reaching the cut-off but he didn't and we didn't get to parent him it has been so hard because my husband's sister was pregnant at the same time as me and now she's due anytime now with her first child we get along really well usually until recently my husband's sister and her husband had some property issues that ended up leading to most of their baby stuff getting destroyed and during global situation he lost his job so they have less money my husband's sister asked us if we could let them have the clothes we bought our son as well as the blanket i made for him because those are things they still need my husband had already gone out to buy a couple of clothes items for the baby to help but we're not ready to say goodbye to the stuff yet and we told them that she was angry and not understanding she said we were the least helpful in their hour of need and how could we deny our future niece or nephew some clothes and a blanket my husband told her it's not like our son simply outgrew them and she fired back that he's never going to wear them but her child could she told me she was especially mad at me as a mom not doing what i could for a child i feel guilty and angry and jealous a little she's so far along now and i didn't make it that far with my son and i am struggling more because i feel so bad i am also in between therapists because the therapist i saw until november quit out of nowhere from the practice and i haven't meshed with anyone else since and i can feel the fracture in the family because of this but at the same time i'm just not ready to get rid of anything or change anything in the room yet am i the idiot not the idiot she doesn't get to decide how you grieve or what you are ready to give up now or ever i am so sorry for the loss of your son you keep all of his items that you want for however long you need to keep them for your next baby if you want you certainly don't owe them to sister-in-law not the idiot your sister-in-law has no right to demand the things you bought and made with love for your little baby you are still grieving the terrible loss you experienced and it's okay to want to hold on to mementos especially the blanket you made him your sister can ask for donations but she cannot demand them from anyone she should back off and her comment was really out of line i wish you and your husband good luck on your journey hopefully you will find a new therapist [Music] soon [Music] you

Channel: XO

Views: 140,218

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit demand money, reddit late wife, reddit new wife, reddit stepson, reddit step, reddit money, reddit family demand money

Id: -5M8uSRbZkU

Length: 19min 28sec (1168 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 04 2021