Boyfriend Told I'm Over Dramatic & Jealous Because He's On Romantic Vacation With His Buddies & Wife

what's one mistake you won't forgive i 29 female my boyfriend is 30. i have two kids that are not his biologically and we have been together four years last week his buddy invited him and i to go on a four-day couple's retreat with him his wife and his other friend and his girlfriend apparently there is couples massages romantic dinners etc we were due to leave today my boyfriend mentioned it to me so i started looking around for babysitters unfortunately i was not able to find a sitter their dad hardly ever takes them and their grandmother is just as much of a deadbeat and only sees the kids to post photos on facebook and act like grandmother of the year normally when we make plans he will reach out to his mum or sister-in-law because they are the only people in our area he didn't do that so i called them yesterday to see if they would but obviously they couldn't i figured since i could not go he would not go on the couple's retreat i wake up this morning at 5am to him packing i asked him what he was doing and he said um packing i need to leave here by 7am to meet up with george so i asked him why he still intended to go on a couple's retreat when his partner couldn't even go and i asked him if he had even wanted me to go since he didn't bother helping me look for a sitter originally anyways and he said if you wanted to go you would have found a sitter i don't have time for this this really bothered me a great deal he kissed my forehead and left 15 minutes ago i get a text from him which included pictures of his suite which had flower petals champagne even a heart-shaped bed i texted back and said have a good time he took this as an attack and said don't be clipped with me it's not my fault you didn't find a sitter so i responded with i wasn't being clipped and it would have been nice if you could help find a sitter i know they aren't your kids but if you wanted me to go you should have put in effort he responded with you're being an idiot right now and quite frankly you're being over dramatic as well am i the idiot for getting upset with the fact that he went without me not the idiot he's supposed to be your partner the whole if you wanted to go you would have found a sitter could easily be turned into if he wanted you to go he would have found a sitter it's a weak argument the fact that he took have a nice time as a confrontational text rather than genuine makes it seem to me like he knew he was doing something that would bother you it's all very unnecessary in my opinion you aren't the idiot i mean is he really there alone to be a fifth wheel for four days that isn't going to be weird for him is he normally like this whoa whoa whoa everybody calm down hello well there's literally no evidence of cheating here and op didn't even mention it as a concern no need to cause a panic over what is literally nothing are all four friends gonna keep their mouth shut if he was cheating hello well nobody would do something like that unless they wanted to get caught you are the idiot first of all why is his family the one doing the babysitting they're not even related to the kids so yeah it's nice that they help but it shouldn't be expected you should have other people to rely on for child care it's not fair for him to miss out on things because of you or your kids if you want someone to sacrifice then look elsewhere and leave this man be jeez seriously i think it's the height of rudeness that she is mad at her boyfriend for not asking his family to watch her children she's their mother she hasn't found any babysitters in all the years she has them she made zero effort to secure a babysitter either so clearly the trip wasn't a priority to her either why is it on him to secure babysitting for her children ive 27 male been with my fiancee girlfriend 24 for three years now i proposed a year ago but it definitely wasn't out of the blue she'd been not so subtly hinting at getting engaged for months at that point although we're both somewhat hot-headed we generally have a good relationship and we occasionally only fight about small normal things i know nothing about jewelry but i spent a lot of time looking for the right ring to propose with i talked to two of her closest friends to get their input and in the end i spent around four thousand dollars on the ring when my fiance saw it she told me she loved it and i'm pretty sure she was telling the truth this january my fiance called me up in tears she'd somehow lost the ring on her way home from work and she had no clue where it might be i left work early to come help her search but since she'd been riding the subway the ring was long gone my fiance was clearly distraught so a few weeks later i dipped into my savings and bought her a different ring it wasn't quite as expensive as the last but it was from the same jeweller and still a good make around june i noticed one day that it had been a while since i saw my fiance actually wear her engagement ring she went pale and confessed to me that she thought she'd taken it off before bed one night and now it was lost somewhere in our flat this time we searched for days and i dug up half the floorboards looking for it but the ring is to this day missing at this point buying another ring was out of the question too expensive so i asked her if she'd rather either a have a cheap replacement ring under 50 until after we're married or b go without a ring for now she chose option b one day we were visiting my grandmother who asked my fiance where her ring was when we told her it was lost my grandmother was kind enough to give my fiance one of her rings instead my fiance seemed delighted and everything was working out perfectly until this week i came home to find my grandmother's ring on the table looking almost unrecognizable my fiance cried and told me that she'd managed to step on the ring that morning hard enough to break it i took the ring to a jewelry repair service right away sadly they told me that since a few small stones are missing and the original fitting is warped the ring will never really be the same they also told me they were certain someone stepping on the ring couldn't realistically cause this amount of damage when i got home i brought this up to my fiance and asked her if she was 100 sure she'd only stepped on the ring she completely flipped and yelled at me asking if i was calling her a liar i mentioned what the jewelry store said and she started screaming about me only caring about money and the cost of the rings it's been two days and we've barely spoken especially as she's only coming out of our bedroom for meals this is not an accident i was terrified of losing my ring when i first got it but that's not really possible unless you take it off so i always put it straight in my pocket for being on the ground and stepping on it no she would have to run it over i'm betting she has an addiction gambling shopping maybe sugar or high deston has been selling the rings the ring is mangled because she used pliers to get the rocks out the small stones are gone because she sold them the other rings are gone because she sold them start checking pawn shops for the first two rings like now don't wait go to every pawn shop in a 20 mile radius of both your home and her job i guarantee she sold the first two and crushed the third trying to sell the stones separately after you find even one of the rings bring it home ask for an explanation if you even suspect for one second that she's lying break off the engagement because it's clear she has no problem lying too even if she's not selling it bro get out because clearly something is going on it's looking to me like she doesn't want to be engaged to you this thank god i'm not the only person that sees it this way i was starting to lose faith in humanity this doesn't sound criminal to me it sounds like an immature kid that doesn't want to make a lifelong decision but also is too shy or immature enough to say no or communicate in a healthy way also with how distraught she was after the first ring perhaps she did something impulsive like flush it that she then felt bad about hence leaving her distraught but not for the reason op thinks this happened two weeks ago my 28 male fiancee 26 female and i just had a baby boy and it's been difficult already without her being upset with me after what happened i met her at a bar i used to hang out with my friends at we dated for eight months and i decided to propose when she told me she was pregnant and wanted to have the baby we both agreed on getting married after our baby is born she was introduced to my family who welcomed her and took care of her and she started spending time with them i learned that she was engaged to her late fiance for four years but he got sick and passed away at a young age she told me she had recurrent dreams about him i wasn't upset because no one controls what they see in their dreams but sometimes she mumbles his name and visits his grave on his birthdays and still keeps their rings in her house when she went into labor i drove to the hospital to be with her since she expressed to me how terrified she was after talking to her group of moms who had experience with labour and birth her labor lasted longer than expected her mom arrived when she was taken to the delivery room she was feeling so much stress and even cried which made it more difficult i tried to reassure her and told her to think about our baby and just focus on that she suddenly started screaming first she yelled her deceased dad's name then let go of my hand and started yelling out her deceased fiance's name and just continued to yell that name at the top of her lungs i was shocked i didn't know how to act i was upset i get she was feeling stressed but i don't get why she kept calling his name till the point where the nurse wanted to ask me something and used the name my fiance was calling out to call me thinking it was my name i was so embarrassed for having to correct her as she looked confused i tried to calm my fiance down but she continued so i just walked out and told her mom to go be with her i felt absolutely awful i sat outside i was literally shaking she gave birth and her mum walked up to me to give me the news i was happy my son was finally born i went in to see them both for a short time before he was taken my fiance returned home and started berating me for walking out on her like that and told me that what i did was unacceptable i told her why but she completely avoided this and tried to say that it didn't matter and that i was being ridiculous while she was feeling pain we argued about it and she brought up that she called out the names of the two most important people in her life then went into the bedroom leaving me feeling awful and guilty she is expecting an apology and wants me to take her to stay at her mom's for a few days since i was making her stressed out your fiance is so wrong she's projecting some serious guilt onto you and do not take that crap she has the unmitigated gall to be upset at you and has taken no responsibility for what she did and said opie you need to slow your roll on the wedding your fiance is not over her ex at best you are a placeholder at worst a donor you had no way of knowing before the delivery date that she was this damaged you know now tread carefully you are not the idiot here given how little she thinks of you i'd say dna test is in order too i can't imagine anyone being that cold-hearted to the father of their child unless of course you aren't the father she might be trying to drive you away now that she has you on the hook for child support i am 26 female he is 26 male we've been together for three years we've been actively discussing future life plans we always wanted the same things in life and we agreed on most of the topics and decisions one of the things we discussed a year ago was ideas about how he wanted to propose he talked about a proposal in the mountains or in a forest something outdoors simple but romantic to us i was very happy and excited not to mention we lived between mountains and forests so it was also easily accessible we have been discussing this many times even dropping ideas of which mountain would be the most romantic we hiked together so we thought the very first mountain we've been to for example we also discussed who should propose to who he told me he really wanted to be the one doing it yesterday after i came back home from work exhausted we cooked watched tv and at some point i went to the hallway to hang a coat he followed me and he proposed between the shoes on the floor the kitchen and the restroom he was kneeling i couldn't believe it it was such a disappointment knowing what we always talked about i felt let down had a lot of thoughts at once in my head here is my probable wrong move i was so hurt i couldn't say a word couldn't even accept it i looked at him looked around me as i couldn't believe where he proposed felt tears in my eyes i nodded and walked past him to lay on the bed and cry he took some time before following me and asking if anything was wrong told him i expected something different but would marry him regardless my friends are mixed about it but a few of them did say i was being ungrateful and that it's the thought that counts he wants to marry me after all and maybe this is the only thing that counts am i the idiot not the idiot i don't get the whole proposal wow factor thing but he got your hopes up by basically telling you he was going to do it in a romantic way then made it seem like a complete afterthought come on it's someone asking you to spend the rest of your life with them cool that you don't think so but to most people proposing is a pretty big deal it seems pretty basic that it not be done in front of a shoe closet i'm a guy and i know opie is gonna have to tell this lame proposal story like five times a day if it's truly the thought that counts i'd say this dude put basically zero thought into this proposal at all three months ago my fiance of then four months four years together invited a few ladies over for some drinks and chat i stayed in our bedroom gaming for most of the time they were there i had my headset hooked up to my ps4 so i didn't have to hear their drunken scream laughing eventually i need to use the bathroom our apartment only has one bathroom and it's near the living room they were obliterated like absolutely gone the air in our apartment would have registered on a breathalyzer when i was in the bathroom i was able to hear everything despite the sink being turned on i could overhear them talking about intimacy my fiance made a comment about how her ex was the best lover she had one of her friends asked about me and she said opie's better at literally everything else he's my soul mate and he's fine in bed but tyrone was a different beast i don't think i'm an insecure or jealous man but this cut me to the core i felt sick to my stomach i sat in the bathroom for another 15 minutes pretty much covering my ears when i got out she yelled that's my bottom witch right there i laughed awkwardly and retreated into our room i've never thought that i was the best she'd ever had but i thought i was pretty close at least better than fine when she sobered the next day i told her what i heard and she begged for my forgiveness she said she didn't consciously rank us but i know that's probably not true i told her i tried to get past it and intimacy didn't happen for the next two months at this point i don't know what to do those words are in my head and she won't help me to learn to be better i feel like less of a man now can someone please tell me what i'm supposed to do i love her so much and i don't want to keep this affecting our relationship from a woman's perspective i would never say these things about my boyfriend to someone else even if it was how i truly felt it's never okay to put your significant other down in front of your friends and i think this should be the first part of the conversation you need to have with her put wedding planning on hold until you work past this because you don't want to begin your marriage with this cloud hanging over it after that suggest that you go to couples counseling to try to work through this to make sure you're both communicating effectively about it a lot of people are addressing the fact that you don't have to be the best to have a good relationship but the fact that she was telling her friends that there was no comparison would just hurt me to the core the way she described things made it sound like she wanted him but was with you as the safe bet personally i doubt i would continue the relationship after that i've been dating my girlfriend for three years at this point i've wanted to propose for a while i've just been trying to save up for a nice ring i spoke with a dad about doing it the other month i get along with him very well he's like another dad to me her mom and his wife passed away a year ago they were both super upset as she was a great mom and a great wife i tried to do everything that i could to help and support them when i went to speak with her dad i told him that i plan to ask his daughter to marry me soon we are both a little old-fashioned so we agreed that i would talk to him beforehand he was really happy to hear the news and gladly agreed we talked about planning for the engagement to make it really special for the family since it would soon be anniversary of the death he suggested that i do it on the day of and to honor her mother so it is like she is there with us he thought that it would make her feel better i liked the idea and agreed well the day finally came to propose i was going to take her to the spot where we met i also had a special gift for her to give her before i proposed it was a necklace with her mother's writing on it i started by giving her the necklace she loved it and was sobbing while she was focused on it i got down on a knee and got the ring out when she noticed it i didn't get the reaction that i expected she was like what's this what are you doing i tried to ask her to marry me she cut me off mid-sentence and said no no no stop please i got quite upset and didn't know what to do she said are you really trying to propose to me on this day are you serious i told her i was 100 serious she said i can't believe this you can't use this day to do that this is so disrespectful i tried to apologize and tell her that i didn't know it would hurt her i tried to explain that i did it to try and make it a happy special day she told me to take her and drop her off at her dad's he came out smiling until he saw her face he was confused too she left the car and ran inside before either of us could say anything i explained what happened to her dad and he didn't understand it and said that he felt awful for me i tried calling and texting her several times she finally sent me a text late that night that said i need time i haven't heard from her since was i an idiot for proposing on that day oh god this was like watching a train wreck happen in slow motion or the scene in a horror movie where you want to scream don't go in that door i'm not going to say no idiot here because you clearly had the best of intentions but this was the worst idea you and her dad should go grovel massively to her explain that you thought it would be special but obviously it was not at all what she wanted and you're very very sorry dad set you up opie you are the idiot while i understand that it was a dad's idea it was a terrible one i could maybe understand if it had been years since her mother passed but the one-year anniversary dude she was immersed in grief and reeling with the memories of her dead mother exacerbated by your lovely gift it was not nor was it ever going to be a happy day i was trying to make it a happy special day kinda sounds like you were trying to make the anniversary of her mom's death all about you and what you wanted [Music] you

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Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit girl, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit boyfriend, reddit dating, reddit relationship advice, reddit break up, reddit dating advice, reddit jealous girlfriend, reddit girlfriend, reddit romantic retreat

Id: xK60dgxprv0

Length: 19min 44sec (1184 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 22 2020