I Took Jobless Wife In & She Starts Firing Workers So I Tell Her To Leave & She Kicks Me To Doghouse

for starters my male 41 wife 39 and i have been together 16 years when she met me i was at the height of my business and started going up from there even during the global crisis my business is still booming i had my own house that i lived in by myself a couple of cars and a cottage although unrelated i own my own factory refurbishing various re-engineered equipment mostly hvac stuff about three years after we got married she decided she had enough of working odd jobs and making not so great money at it so she expressed the desire to be a stay-at-home wife i had no problem with this we don't have kids and don't plan on having any so i saw this as a win-win as she got to stay home and i came home to a nice house after three years of this she was tired of being a stay-at-home wife and wanted to rejoin the workforce since she could really only find odd jobs i suggested she work at my shop i pretty much created a job for her doing small admin stuff nothing crazy as i used to do all this myself plus work on the floor but this took a load off my shoulders obviously she got paid a healthy wage for her work and i hired a cleaner to come in once a week to help us clean and maintain the house on to the problem one of my workers accidentally orders 20 of one part instead of two this was a bit of a big deal as now instead of being out a few hundred dollars i'm now out thousands while i wasn't royally pissed off this did put a significant dent in my overhead so i had to offload these parts barely made my money back but that's beside the point my wife however found out and absolutely berated this poor guy i've had this guy work for me for over 10 years and his work is solid he's a hard-working man two kids another on the way and he's become my go-to guy for almost anything i didn't hear of the situation until i heard screaming from my wife that she would fire him he cost her hours of rework and budgeting etc this is simply not true as two phone calls and some editing on our books and everything would be right as rain tops are one hour affair she and he finally filled me in i told her to leave the room so i could talk to him she refused i asked again and once again she refused i asked one more time and my worker was on the verge of tears and i yelled at her and told her you're not the boss i am i make these decisions now leave i talked it over with him we made amends as it was an honest mistake and he hasn't had a screw-up like this since he started so i'm not concerned about it happening again my wife was livid and after yelling about his screw-up has refused to talk to me i'm clearly in the doghouse here but i don't think i did anything wrong as she was in my opinion being needlessly unreasonable and on a power trip am i the idiot not the idiot if your wife pulled that in any other job she'd be fired on the spot at work she's your employee not your wife she has zero business treating your employees like this employees with far more seniority to her nonetheless yep definitely she's your employee not boss not supervisor not manager not in a position to make such calls this is your realm to manage and she needs to respect your decision or find somewhere else to work unfortunately it can be tough working with family members as boundaries are often crossed and relationships destroyed however you can have an adult conversation about it where she understands the error of her ways not the idiot in fact if any of my employees pulled that kind of thing screaming out and threatening to fire someone who worked for me they'd be gone the fact that your wife did this and has put you in the dog house when she was the one so blatantly out of line shows what kind of person she is if you want to save any kind of face and earn back your employees respect you'll fire the wife then think long and hard about your relationship marriage counseling should definitely be on the plan for how insanely disrespectful she is to you time to fire your wife and have her find her own jobs employees will find out about this incident and op's professionalism will be on the spot how he reacts here will make or break their loyalty kicking his wife out the room was totally the right thing to do but it should go further and dismissal should be on the cards as it would be for anybody else everyone's the idiot here one of your employees started criticizing one of your other employees and threatened to fire him without the authority to do so and you're entirely letting that slide because she happens to be your wife if you're going to hire through nepotism you need to be ready for uncomfortable conversations and make sure boundaries are drawn you don't get to pick your battles you're obviously underreacting to this outburst in a way that is letting down your employee i got married about two months ago and this is still a family argument so i want y'all's opinion the whole thing started a year-ish ago last february when i got engaged the global issue obviously threw stuff off but we did end up having lots of fun in july not exactly sure when but i think it was july my best friend's boyfriend approached me they've been dating for five years and i've been best friends with my best friend for 15 years so when he asked if he could propose at my wedding i was delighted to share the joy with this amazing girl we came up with a plan he was incredibly respectful and told me that if at any time i decided i didn't want the proposal to happen at my wedding he'd accept it i told him it was no problem and that i was so excited for both of us speed up to two months ago my wedding it was socially distant only a few key people were there masked up most people were vaccinated etc after the ceremony during the reception the plan started i'm thinking it was from some movie my best friend loves but i'm not sure which one so i'm tossing the bouquet and i spin around and hand it to her instead of throwing it he kneels down it was all adorable after this we're celebrating we're both excited everything seems to be going off without a hitch i was actually so happy because so far the wedding had been going perfectly 20 minutes later my cousin's boyfriend goes up to the dj my little brother and asks him for the mic he takes it asks my cousin to come up next to him and i quickly realized what was going on to be fully honest i didn't want to share the day with my cousin she's always been a bit of an attention hogger and i knew she would make the day all about her i walk to them ask my cousin to step aside and explain to her boyfriend that i'd like him not to propose at my wedding he gets incredibly upset saying my friend got engaged why shouldn't he be able to etc my cousin and aunt also got incredibly upset with me saying it's not fair that my friend got engaged and she can't and accuse me of being incredibly biased my best friend got engaged at my wedding with permission from me my cousin tried to get engaged without asking me but i stopped it am i the idiot for not letting my cousin get engaged but letting my best friend get engaged at my wedding not the idiot it isn't customary to propose at weddings to begin with you let your best friend slide with no issues great on your part your cousin budding in for a proposal without permission and on the spot idiot move i don't think it was on the spot he started talking and giving a speech before i butted in and he's either an excellent improviser or it was planned he also had a ring in his pocket i'm not sure if he was planning to do it after the wedding or was planning on doing it in the reception the whole time which annoys me so much more the cousin probably told the boyfriend to do it there opie says she tried to grab the spotlight at the minimum the boyfriend was planning it without asking permission anyways op should turn it around how dare you folks plan a proposal at my wedding without asking first how could you possibly be so disrespectful i am so glad i was able to stop it can you imagine what people would say about you otherwise you are the idiot after you gave permission to one person you gave permission to everyone you can't restrict who can do proposals just if they happen or not and cousin's boyfriend saw one proposal and that you were happy with it so didn't think there would be some issue which is that you don't want your cousin to get attention not that you don't want proposals in your wedding your friend asked you for permission which you gave your cousin didn't ask for permission however because you allowed the one it was totally unreasonable to think on your cousin's part that they too could do it you did set a precedent i'm part-timing an i.t company that's very close-knit my boss stephen and his wife were always sweet it was my first month and it was my boss's birthday week so he and his wife melissa were kind enough to include me in this fancy dinner they were taking everyone to a week before the dinner melissa added everyone to a group chat and asked whether we had any suggestions on where to eat i told her that i'm okay with anything as long as there are vegetarian options available or chicken they brought their teenage daughter steph to dinner and she's a sweet girl now steph was really interested in me and she kept on asking me questions about how i look the way i look now i'm short five foot but can be somewhat deemed fit to today's generation i was transparent with her and told that i don't restrict myself to certain foods but rather eat everything in moderation plus i have a plant-based diet and home-cooked meals which helped me lift weights now melissa overheard our conversation partially she pulled me aside and told me that steph was recovering from an eating disorder hence she encouraged me to be honest with her and not lie to her and not order anything that screams diet when i saw the menu there was little to no vegetarian options available it didn't have anything for me i was very disappointed and made a comment that oh wow there are no vegetarian options melissa chimed in and said that eating meat once in a while won't affect my weight now when i say plant-based diet it's not that i don't eat meat i only eat chicken maybe once a week as a side dish and certain types of fish occasionally still other than that i mostly eat vegetarian dishes my food habits are not for my weight but for my religion and culture it has nothing to do with my weight when the waiter came in i was still glued to my menu when all the others had already ordered melissa said that she will have the duck too and i interrupted and said that no i will have the garden salad i hate salads but there were no other veg options melissa got quiet after a few minutes she told me that i shouldn't have lied and led on her daughter if i would order a skinny salad and starve myself she said that i'm just like those instagram influencers who lie to impressionable young girls about their food habits and bodies according to her i just proved that by ordering a salad after giving her daughter a don't restrict yourself speech i probably triggered her eating disorder i tried to explain that i only ordered a salad because there was no other option on the menu for me but then she said that i should have just eaten the duck as it isn't going to affect my weight but then again i corrected that it's a religious thing and not a diet thing she said that if i eat chicken i would obviously eat other animals too and i was just putting up an act it was horrible she completely tore me down and i immediately left what the holy heck good for you for up and leaving i don't know what your next step is though a visit to hr this is just so darn bizarre at least you're only a part-time worker not the idiot and how dare they put their daughter and her future problems on you not the idiot with the way she was carrying on about food and weight it sounds like she was making a bigger deal than what the daughter was you did the right thing for yourself definitely not the idiot not the idiot they have no right to dictate what you eat if their daughter gets triggered by someone else eating a salad then that daughter needs more help than she's currently getting you made it clear that your food choice had nothing to do with weight concerns most likely melissa feels extremely overprotective of her daughter and she took that out on you her treatment of you probably reflects her general frustration and sadness about her daughter's disorder it has nothing to do with you or what you ordered i have an eating disorder and would never expect people around me to order anything other than what they want maybe mom shouldn't have taken a daughter out for a meal with a bunch of people if she was recovering from an eating disorder whatever that means and the way mom kept speaking for you and trying to order for you no wonder her kid has eating issues so not the idiot not the idiot but you need to talk at work with your boss with an hr witness present about this incident and hope it won't affect your work going forward if his wife has got it in for you then she could make things very difficult for you at work i'd say cover your bases and don't suffer this bullying in silence out of politeness or fear of repercussions my younger sister 26 is dating a man who has two kids with an ex i 46 female have been with my husband for more than 17 years when we met he was divorced dad of three my stepkids are now adults my husband is a grandfather and i can honestly say it hasn't been easy and i don't think it was the perfect role for me i love my family so i wouldn't walk away from them now still i also know there's been more heartbreak in our family life than there has been heart warming i say this even with two wonderful children out of it and a happy marriage outside of it i was always the outsider and never really considered family by my stepkids i'm not grandma while my husband is grandpa i'm not the kind of person who can't suffer more heartbreak realizing that they could walk away from me easily even after all these years and while they're not awful to my bios they definitely don't include them as siblings how they do each other it's tough i don't think i was the best suited to do that side of this so anyway my sister and i always promised each other honesty i'm so much older than her and i tried to baby her a bit too much when she was a lot younger which she hated so when she asked me did i have any regrets and would i do it again i was honest and when she asked me if i thought she would be able to do it i was also honest i don't think she could because she's even more sensitive than i am and she's already going in with expectations that might not be met and now she's angry and said i was an idiot and i should have lied am i the idiot i hate it when people say well you should have lied after asking for an honest opinion excuse you miss it's not my job if you can't handle the truth you asked for you're not the idiot for sharing your experience especially when you were asked a lot of times as step parents we're put into an impossible position we're not the parent so we better not overstep and infringe but in the very next breath we're vilified if we don't treat the stepchild as our own not the idiot if you had lied she would have come to you later and been angry that you didn't tell her the truth i suspect that your sister may already be discovering that being a stepparent is really hard and is taking out her frustrations on you not the idiot being a step parent is extremely hard honestly no one can understand what it entails and how taxing it is unless they have lived it themselves you were right to answer her question with honesty it doesn't mean she will cease her current relationship people often need to learn things through their own experiences from one stepmom to another i feel you i 29 female have two young children male and female i've recently become friends with a 26 female due in a few weeks with her first child we're a bit of an odd match we don't necessarily have a lot in common but we get along well enough and she likes to ask for my advice on things as she prepares to give birth and be a new mom she doesn't have any family living nearby and i know how hard that is so i like being able to help her out the issue is that as she gets closer to her due date the more judgmental she gets of my parenting it started when she decided to use cloth diapers and tried to convince me i should switch also i had to tell her i'd been there done that with my first and it's not for me she asked for product reviews on fancy baby gadgets like the backseat camera or the owlette sock thing when i said i'd never use stuff like that she said that she's going to use it because she wants to keep her baby as safe as possible i was trying really hard to not be the experienced mom that says just you wait because i hate that but i kind of feel that way sometimes i figure nature will take its course and she'll eventually see that you can't take mommy instagram influencers as gospel today was the last straw i have mastitis and i had to stay home from work i would have gone in but they're doing temperature screenings at the door and i have a fever so i'd have just been sent home anyway we were texting and i mentioned that i called in she started saying i didn't have to stay home from work over a sore boob that i just needed to buy a haka and used that but it wasn't worth staying home over i'll admit that hit a nerve for me because i already feel bad about using my paid sick leave for myself since i like to save it up if my kids get sick in my anger i said that thing i told myself i'd never say i said she should wait until she'd actually experience something before she tries to talk about it because right now she just doesn't know what she's talking about well apparently she's so upset that her husband texted me and asked me why i'd say something like that to her when she's due in two weeks and already nervous he said she's been crying for an hour now i feel like maybe i just shouldn't have said anything not the idiot she really didn't know what she was talking about you had a fever that's more than a sore boob rude by the way mastitis can mean infection and infections kill your response was measured and factual not cruel i've never been pregnant but i hear that the hormone fluctuations can make some women extra sensitive her pregnancy is no excuse for her to act judgmental and tell you what to do with your life she was extremely out of line and really does not know what she's talking about i know pregnancy hormones make us do some crazy things but it's never an excuse for anything so just because she's pregnant you're supposed to sit there and just take the unsolicited abuse she hurls at you no you were 100 right she does not sound like a good friend she sounds insufferable honestly yeah she wants someone to talk to but she's coming off as condescending not the idiot isn't it amazing how much more we knew about parenting correctly before we had kids no need to engage with her right now you know she'll learn soon enough if this friendship is worth saving consider reaching out six months after the baby is born after she has inevitably rejected most or all her previously held judgments you

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Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit power trip, reddit fired, reddit wife fired, reddit dog house, reddit husband, reddit money, reddit jobless wife

Id: Ov7O2Xh1sf8

Length: 18min 48sec (1128 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 27 2021