UPDATED: In-Laws & Their Adult Kids Are JOBLESS So They SOLD Their House & SHOWED UP At My Doorstep

my partner and i live together and have been responsible and prudent in our early and mid-20s and now own a home together we've been together for four years and my partner and i are committed long term during the course of our relationship there have been a lot of ups and downs with my partner's family over small things that are blown out of proportion during most interactions with in-laws i am ignored alienated and left out of family discussions plans and in general it is pretended that i don't even exist though partner and i live together i have consistently been a supporting partner and have made significant changes to my life plans and moved to accommodate my partner's career to estate thousands of miles from my only family our house is our sanctuary and the familiar place that feels like home in this new area to me now my partner's parents have sold their home by choice during an incredibly hot market in our area without a contingency clause dependent on them closing on a new house because of the situation they chose to put themselves in they are now pressuring us to move into our house until they can purchase another home i want to tell them that i understand their situation is hard but it's not their place to demand that my partner and i house them since they are trying to force our hand so would i be the idiot if i refuse to house my partner's parents and adult siblings pro bono for an undetermined amount of time not the idiot i get wanting to sell while the market's hot a neighbor of mine just sold their place for more than one hundred thousand dollars what they would have gotten last year but you have to have a plan for where you're going to live which leads me to believe that either they are stupid enough to have not thought that far ahead or entitled enough to think you would just let them live with you dealer's choice here either way makes you in the clear and they are for sure the idiots you are not wrong do not let them in they will never leave they will treat you like a servant do not do it the market is hopping and they will not get a place soon save yourself and your relationship they can get a short-term rental ironically the in-laws called shortly after i posted and we had this exact conversation we made it clear that they are not welcome to stay here and mother-in-law said that she would bring boxes over next week at the end of the conversation she blurted out that she would bring boxes over anyways i'm going to change the locks tomorrow and will tell her any boxes left here will go straight to the dump so you told her no and she said she's bringing boxes over she doesn't have a key correct please keep the doors locked update on would i be the idiot if i refuse to allow my in-laws and their unemployed adult children 29 and 24 move in with us here's how things ran down this all began when our in-laws called and said they were two weeks out from closing on their house by choice hot market and selling without a contingency clause upon them finding another home my partner and i were direct and cordial as possible in saying that no they would not be allowed to move in after that conversation they blew our phones up the next morning at 6 00 am demanding to be let in around 9. i rushed off to the hardware store and changed our locks because mother-in-law ultimately forced brother-in-law to giving up the key we trusted to him so loxchange said no and we got about a three-day break from all the harassment around when the parents were five days out of closing we had all sorts of extended family blowing us up to take them in ironically none of them had volunteered to take them in but that's what you do for family i sat down with the in-laws without my partner because they had requested to speak with me alone about a week ago they spent nearly four hours trying to guilt me into changing my partner's mind when i finally had enough i told them flat out this conversation was over and they left pretty upset closing day has come and tomorrow they have nowhere to go but a hotel tonight has been a hail storm of phone calls but my partner and i are so glad we stood our ground thank you to everyone for their feedback and helping us feel like we were justified in our decision for the record they do not have offers in on a new home so some of you were right that them staying with us could be indefinitely i love this irony seriously why aren't those relatives offering their homes people are always more generous with other people's time money and energy than they are with their own if they sold their house just because the market is hot i'm guessing they were hoping to stay with you until the market cools down and they can get a good price on a place sounds like you definitely made the right move and avoided what probably would have been very long-term house guests you are not the idiot of course isn't it amazing how many people are completely shocked when you won't cave sounds like living with you was the plan all along good for you hopefully they'll stay mad and away for a very long time let me guess your lazy siblings-in-law refused to look for jobs to help out yes i've been with my boyfriend for 11 years his mother has hated me since the first day she met me she hated me due to my ethnicity she hated me due to my career i work as a model and she decided that makes me an empty-headed vain shallow person then when i told her i still plan to go to university alongside my career she said i was doing it to impress my boyfriend i've since left uni with a distinction and her new reason to hate me is i try too hard she has also insisted i've cheated on him throughout our entire relationship which is a ridiculous claim i've never even kissed another man in my whole life i have zero desire to cheat and never will late last year she attempted to void the insurance on my boyfriend's motorbikes she tried to do this under my name so that when he was arrested for riding with no insurance and called his insurance company i'd get the blame after this happened my boyfriend and i agreed to cut her out however it hasn't stuck she left my boyfriend alone and respected his wishes for no contact but she's continued to contact and harass me this leads to the last few weeks my boyfriend works as a motorcycle test rider and he got in an awful motorbike crash while working as such i now need to care for him i'm okay with that and i'm focusing on seeing it as an opportunity for us to get closer it's been nice honestly however his mother has been awful to me she's called me a litany of terms from things as tame as stupid to things as awful as a nasty serbian half-breed i'm not serbian and she's well aware that calling me that is offensive she does this intentionally i tried to block her so she started making new imessage accounts and began to continuously harass me via those accounts then came friday night the police turned up at our door i was pretty confused and was quickly told that they were there to do a welfare check as they'd received multiple claims of horrific mistreatment i was apparently putting my poor boyfriend under obviously they quickly discovered he was fine albeit grumpy and they left i know for a fact it was his mother some of the details the police mentioned made that obvious i'm now at a point where i've realized i literally cannot do this i'm going to press charges against her for the insurance and harassment it's a crime in the uk and i'm likely going to sue her for damages for the sake of my mental health i need to do this i don't want to be a victim and she needs to be forced to stop i have mentioned my intentions to her if she doesn't back off and she's pretty much mocking me and saying i won't i absolutely will i just feel like this morally may make me an awful person she sucks i know this however she's old and miserable enough as is and i feel like doing this may ruin whatever small amount of life she has left it feels like it may be too far i really don't know though and i genuinely cannot be objective here would i be the idiot here if i did this edit when i say i need to care for my boyfriend i mean he's essentially immobile he's not being unsupportive he's just barely able to take care of himself let alone battle his mother too not the idiot his mother is awful and becoming a danger to you and your boyfriend you need to cut her out entirely and take some legal action figure out your best options and go from there but this woman is an insulting vile sickening lady you are not the idiot but it's not quite clear what charges you want to press it'd be hard to prove she maliciously reported you people have a wide latitude for reporting concerns fraud for changing the insurance perhaps more importantly what's your boyfriend doing about this it's his mother he really should be the one fighting on your behalf i would be mad at my so if they didn't defend me in this situation honestly if things are as bad as you say i would go no contact and ask that my partner does the same you can't reasonably expect the mother to change she seems unhinged but your boyfriend needs to step up me 32 male and my wife 32 have been trying to have a baby for several years now unfortunately she's probably unable to get pregnant we've run several tests and it's only her that's come back with bad news additionally i accidentally got a girl pregnant a few years before i met my wife the girl had ended it point is i can produce kids but my wife probably can't i don't blame this on my wife at all in fact i'm excited to talk about our other options i love my wife so much and i want to raise kids together even if it's not biological i was on the phone with my wife's mom the other day and she started saying some weird stuff she said it was okay that i couldn't have kids but maybe we could find a donor for my wife and that she knew i'd be a good dad even if the kid wasn't related to me etc i was confused so i told my mother-in-law that my wife was the one who was having fertility issues my mother-in-law told me that my wife told her i was the one with fertility issues i was sure it was a harmless misunderstanding so i talked about it with my wife and she got really mad at me she said i had no right to tell her mom that she was having issues getting pregnant she said it was something very personal to her and she felt awful just thinking about how her mom now knew it was her fault we can't have kids easily it's not her fault she didn't choose to have these issues she said that it was her mom and i should have just gone along with it because she always wants to be seen as good and capable in her mom's eyes i feel bad but i had no idea she had told her mom it was me also i don't know why she had to say who had fertility issues when she could just say we were having issues my wife said i was an idiot for telling her mom am i you might say i am the idiot because i told my wife's mom her private business because i never even thought to have that conversation with my wife and because my wife's mom now thinks my wife is a liar you are not wrong as someone who struggles with infertility i know where your wife is coming from i felt like a failure as a woman and didn't want to talk about it with people however her mother brought it up and you simply responded if your wife wanted you to back up her lie she should have told you about it communication between the two of you in this situation is key if she and you hasn't talked to a therapist about this i highly recommend it she didn't tell opie about it or give him a heads up because she didn't want to admit that she lied about him behind his back while he's out there being supportive to her she's made this into some contest for public approval and blamed him for her fertility issues she definitely needs therapy your wife decided to lie to her mother instead of being honest about her issues she blamed them on you then she doesn't tell you she's lied about fertility issues to her mother this is literally all her doing the craziest part here is that her telling her mum about your totally fictitious reproductive issues is absolutely okay yet you correcting her mother about her fertility issues isn't oh okay that makes sense she's living in a glass house throwing boulders and blaming you for the mess ridiculous you are not the idiot not the idiot from me one thing though 32 is so young i hear that you've had tests have you gone through treatment the prognosis doesn't have to be grim i'm sitting here at 44 years old finally pregnant after so many so many losses i had less than five percent chance of it happening but tenacity has seemingly won the day good luck you are not wrong i feel bad for your wife but she's clearly got some control or childhood issues related to her mom maybe try to reassure her also i want to mention that i'm adopted and i'm so grateful for my mom for adopting me and saving me from what i can only imagine would have been a super awful life good luck regardless of what you choose yeah her mom probably filled her head with lots of old-fashioned nonsense about the role of women childbirth mothering she's still wrong for not communicating to op but i understand where it's coming from i 19 males still live at my parents and i'm taking online college courses in middle school i was diagnosed with adhd but my parents never wanted me on meds so i had to wait till i turned 18 to do it myself i take them every day so today after having breakfast i'm looking for my pills which i leave in my bathroom and they're not there then i started looking in my room getting annoyed because i knew for sure they were in my bathroom my brother theo 20 was watching me from the hallway laughing when he saw me he likes to be an idiot and does stupid stuff because it's funny to him so i knew he probably did something so i asked theo where he put them but he'd just laugh without telling me where they are i don't know why he thinks doing something stupid like this is funny i swear he's like a kid after a few minutes he tells me to calm down and he goes to the closet in the hallway but then he sees they're not in there anymore theo swears that's where he hid them we look all over the closet and can't find them i'm so angry and i tell theo to find my meds now or i'm not giving him a ride to work he works at a store and is supposed to open it in half an hour that's when theo gets more serious he swears he doesn't know where they are but i told him i don't care those pills aren't cheap without insurance plus calling doctor's office for a refill and i don't work enough hours to just buy more when that was a whole month's worth so yeah i was so angry at him and didn't give him a ride i also told him i won't be unless he gives me my pills or money to buy more theo was begging me to go but i shut my door and ignored him he had to run and take the bus but i heard he got there like almost an hour late for sure got into trouble since he was the one in charge of opening the store he was yelling at me when i got home and my parents did too for purposely making him late because he didn't mean to actually lose them my parents keep telling me i'm being too petty over this and this affects his job everyone in the house seems to be really furious with me and i'm not sure if i took it too far with not giving him rides at all i'm still really mad and worried about not finding my meds i need those so i don't know am i the idiot not the idiot theo pranked you less than an hour before he needed a favor from you smooth i hope you find them and i hope your parents cut you some slack if you had been able to take your meds this morning as usual you would have felt clear-headed and able to drive as it was i don't blame you for passing besides how rude he was to hide them and then to lose them if you're used to being in a certain mindset brought on by regular prescribed usage and then all of a sudden that's taken away it's not a good idea to get behind the wheel on all counts you made the right decision theo can take his medicine you are not the idiot but are you sure he lost them and didn't take them and sell them sounds a bit sus that he didn't know where they were as if he'd just hidden them i'd also ask your parents if they disapprove they might have taken them and thrown them out yeah the meds were in the closet but disappeared someone had to have taken them tell your family that you are reporting the theft to the police they will probably reappear fast if they haven't been sold already if not report them stolen my boyfriend is currently disabled he'll recover but as of right now he's unable to walk and i need to be there to care for him 24 7. i don't mind this at all and we're doing pretty well all things considered i recently found out i'm pregnant and we decided we can't keep it i had to go end it and obviously that day i wasn't able to care for my boyfriend so i asked my friend who works as a carer to step in and help for the day for a generous price of course she agreed before i left i specifically told her a few things one of which being under no circumstances can she leave her phone around him reason being she has one of those flash things on it whenever she gets a notification and my boyfriend is currently at high risk of getting a seizure so nothing like that can be around him for the sake of his health i asked her to disable it but she said there's no need as it won't even leave her pocket when he's around i left them to it and went to the clinic to make a long story short she forgot her phone it went off several times and my boyfriend had a seizure thankfully he was okay and he didn't need to go to hospital but still i'm furious about this it was the one thing i asked her not to do and she risked his health because she forgot her stupid phone i pretty much told her to get out and she left without her money i was already having an awful day as is and i came back to find paramedics with him so i was in no mood to debate anything with her my friend is really apologetic and clearly upset she's saying it was just an innocent mistake but i disagree she didn't mean to but it was her irresponsibility that caused this and this is supposed to be her job she's saying she needs the money i believe her on that as she is really struggling financially but i just think it's ridiculous to pay her given her innocent mistake she's been blowing up my phone saying the money i promised her is the difference between her making this month's rent and not etc i'm not budging but honestly i do feel a bit harsh don't get me wrong i'm furious and i don't want to continue my friendship with her but i can't help but feel like i'm maybe being a tad too harsh here am i the idiot not the idiot i tell her i'm not paying you as a friend if you want to be paid as a carer i will pay you but i will report you to the board for negligence honestly op should report the friend anyway if this is how she treats the boyfriend of a good friend how does she treat her clients who are strangers to her you are not wrong seizures are no joke and can cause permanent damage you'd be well within your rights to literally sue her if any damages were sustained you're right when you say she was irresponsible though you may be understating it irresponsible is letting a pot boil over for a few seconds or making your dog hold their bladder a little too long what she did could have killed your boyfriend that goes far beyond irresponsible you are not wrong here if you were a corporate employer like a nursing home or rehab facility that would have gotten her fired she was hired to care for him and instead sent him to the hospital you don't owe her a cent [Music] you

Channel: XO

Views: 184,092

Rating: 4.9160056 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, ask reddit, askreddit, reddit woman, reddit real voice, r/aita, r/mil, reddit update, reddit updated, reddit updates, reddit full story, reddit in laws, reddit family drama, reddit relationship, reddit update house, reddit sold house, reddit sold house updated, reddit because family, reddit cut contact, reddit disowned update, reddit raised by narcissist, reddit entitled parents update

Id: lCXebZiveXA

Length: 19min 2sec (1142 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 27 2021