Why You Don't Feel Confident When You Speak English

hey you want to speak english with confidence right you're tired of feeling nervous and feeling frustrated when someone asks you a question and you can't answer with confidence i totally understand when i was learning korean i experienced the same thing i had moments when i would walk up to someone and then suddenly forget everything that i wanted to say and then i realized there were six reasons why i didn't feel confident and i want to explain these reasons to you and give you the solutions but before i do that i need your help you see my goal is to help one billion students a big number around the world just like you learn how to speak english with confidence but i need your help i need you to do three things very quickly i need you to like this video i need you to share this video and i need you to subscribe one more time like this video share this video and subscribe can you do that for me i really appreciate it well i'm teacher tiffany let's jump right in [Music] all right there are six reasons why you don't feel confident when you speak in english now don't go anywhere because in the middle of this lesson there's a special challenge that includes a reward alright so reason number one you keep focusing on other people's opinions basically you don't feel confident because you are constantly thinking about what other people think about your english skills this is something i struggled with as well when i was learning korean why because every time i would get into a conversation and it would be my turn to say something my first thought was shoot what do they think about me shoot are they going to judge me when i speak korean or shoot man i don't really know this person that well and if i speak in a way that's not good i think they're gonna look at me in a bad way i was focused on what other people would think of me i was focused on other people's opinions whether it had been my teacher or other students or people i came in contact with that didn't know me i was focused on everybody else's opinions and that's why i didn't feel as confident when i spoke in korean so again this is one of the reasons why you don't feel as confident when you speak english but there are some fixes fix number one figure out why you care so much that's right figure out the root cause why do you care about other people's opinions so for example for me i realized that i cared about other students who were doing better than me i was comparing myself in my class i was the oldest in my class at that time and it seemed like the other students were learning so much faster than i was so whenever i would go to speak in the back of my head i would think ah they're gonna be like okay tiffany's not as good as us and i would focus on their opinions but the root cause was because i was comparing my progress to theirs i was looking at how far they had progressed and then looking at myself and saying i'm not good enough so that's why i was focused on their opinions but if you figure out the reason why you're focused on other people's opinions you can start to stop focusing because once i realized that i stopped focusing as much on their opinions next redirect your thoughts you see i had to learn again it was not their problem they really weren't bad at all they weren't thinking anything negatively but i had to learn how to redirect my thoughts so right before i would speak in korean when that thought entered my mind like oh tiff you know brandon's thinking i would say nope i'm not gonna think that thought let me switch my thoughts you have to actually do the same thing when you're about to speak if you feel that coming on that that that idea that hey people around me are gonna kind of judge me immediately redirect your thoughts you can change your thoughts and it will help you feel more confident the other fix is find out your opinion of yourself now this is something very interesting this is basically self reflection many times as human beings it doesn't matter what country you live in or where you're from as human beings we care about other people but sometimes we care too much about other people's opinions and we forget to think about what we actually think about ourselves self reflection stop and think hey what do i think about myself realize that you are learning a second language realize how much you have learned and you need to develop your own opinion of yourself this is going to help you feel more confident because your focus will stop being on other people's opinions and you'll start looking at yourself for example i know i'm an early bird i know i'm very productive i know i'm a very efficient person so i focus on those aspects of who i am so if someone else comes to me and says uh tiffany you're not a hard worker i'm not even affected i don't even care what they think about me why because i know who i am i know my opinion of myself when it comes to work the same is true when you're thinking about your speaking ability figure out your opinion of yourself you can heal yourself too have a good opinion of yourself all right so reason number two here we go reason number two is you set challenging english goals basically you don't feel confident because you have set goals that don't match the amount of time you have to achieve them let me break this one down because i saw this issue with many of my students when i was in south korea you see what happens is students maybe just like you set unachievable goals stay with me a student would come to me and say teacher i said hey yeah what's going on how are you teacher i need to pass this test maybe it was the ielts exam or opic exam i said okay tell me you know when is the test the student would say teacher the test is next month i said huh so you're telling me you have four weeks the student said yep i have four weeks and i want to get a perfect score now again i am a very encouraging teacher i make it a point to help students like you achieve goals but the student would come to me telling me that she only had four weeks to prepare for a major exam and she wanted to ace the exam that's an unrealistic goal an unachievable goal again i knew her level so what happens sometimes you set goals it's very important to set goals but sometimes you set goals that are not realistic for example you may say i want to learn a thousand english vocabulary words in two weeks come on now come on now now i think you are very intelligent but in two weeks that that's really not realistic so instead now when you do that you start to feel less confident because you have this goal and you're like shoot i didn't reach my goal so when you go to speak you're like i didn't reach that goal i know i can't speak this is what you need to do there are three fixes for this set and achieve small goals on a regular basis confidence is built on accomplishment remember a few weeks back i taught you all how to learn three thousand vocabulary words in a year now three thousand is a big number right but notice i said in a year and then during the class i broke down how you can actually learn that many words in a year we divided it by 52 weeks then we divided the week so in essence every single day you need to learn between six to seven english vocabulary words you can do that right because we broke down that larger goal into smaller goals so now there's no sense of of urgency or anticipation or frustration why because you know you have a small goal that is achievable that you can do and you feel more confident in your abilities because you start to focus on that smaller goal so again students that joined the weekly english words membership if you want to join it's weeklyenglishwords.com students who joined that membership now they're seeing oh all i have to do is learn a certain number of words every day and i'm okay and that's one way of actually feeling more confident now another fix is right here focus on what you can change there are going to be many things that you experience as you learn english you're going to have many things that may seem difficult or challenging but you'll also have things that you know you can change had a student asked me about pronunciation the other evening she and i had a great conversation and she was like tiff how can i improve my pronunciation and i gave her a method i said hey when i was learning korean i would watch korean dramas and i wouldn't have a notebook as i was watching the dramas i would just sit there and repeat what they said to myself but i was still enjoying the program i recognized that what i could do was repeat or shadow the individuals that i was watching in the korean drama right so figure out what you can change and don't focus on the things that you can't at the moment the other fix is right here visualize success this is something that i love doing as well the reason why you don't feel as confident is because you feel like you can't attain certain goals but if you visualize success again on my wall behind me i have all of my goals for the year why do i do that because there are points and moments in time where i feel like i want to help 1 billion students speak english with confidence but man that's a large goal so i've broken down that goal into smaller parts and smaller chunks so periodically i'll look at my wall and i'll see okay tiff your goal is one billion students but for this year this is all you need to do and that makes me feel more confident in my ability to achieve that goal the same thing goes for you as you are trying to build confidence in your speaking ability instead of setting unachievable goals or really challenging goals pick a goal it can be a big goal but break it down into smaller chunks and you will recognize yourself suddenly feeling more confident now the third reason is right here you don't feel prepared when you speak basically you don't feel confident because your mind goes blank during conversations and you don't know what to say i experienced this so many times when i was studying korean i felt like i couldn't give a very logical answer when certain topics came up i would kind of go to the back or lean back a little bit so that no one would call on me because i didn't know what to say so i felt less confident now if they asked me to give my introduction or talk about my experiences in america i could easily express those things in korean because i knew the topics but whenever something came up that i didn't know about i really felt less confident so i didn't feel prepared now what are the fixes for this one here we go prepare and practice now here's where the challenge comes in okay you see because what you have to do is prepare ahead of time there are many different videos on youtube again amazing english teachers i'm not the only english teacher there are other awesome english teachers on youtube and they talk about different topics so you can prepare before you speak english by watching some videos by listening to some podcasts and getting the information you need now here's the challenge you see today's video is being brought to you by cat cabling now cambly and i have been working together for a long time i almost said a different word now kaylee and i we work together and i love working with them because they care about you all so here's the challenge what you need to do is in the comment section tell us your favorite method for practicing what you learn that's right we all have different ways of studying when i was studying korean i had a different method than other students maybe you have a unique method maybe you get up in the morning and you listen to a radio show maybe you get up in the morning and you watch something on your phone from tiktok or from another uh media social media platform whatever your specific method is for studying i want you to tell us about it in the comment section here's where the challenge comes once you put it in the comment section i will select one individual that's right one individual who has written down and explained his or her favorite way for practicing english and that student is going to win 60 minutes of practice time with a cambly tutor i i told you it was a great one i told you it was a good one that's right one student is going to get the opportunity to practice with a native english speaker for 60 minutes that's right again we're talking about feeling more confident and part of feeling more confident is being prepared is practicing so i want you to practice with a native english teacher so all you have to do once again is in the comment section tell us your favorite method for practicing what you learn maybe you watch movies maybe you write something in your notebook whatever it is share it in the comment section and this is why i like this challenge again gives you an opportunity to practice speaking in english by typing and it also helps you help each other because you may have a method that another student can see and say oh i really like the way he or she studies i'm going to do the same thing so you can help each other you got it all right good cambly thank you so much for sponsoring this video and for being willing to help the students improve their english all right so what's the other fix again we talked about not being prepared or not feeling prepared and that affects your confidence here's the other thing you can do take a deep breath i noticed when i was studying korean that whenever i felt nervous or less confident i would start speaking fast not good but just fast and i would start fumbling over my words and things would come out very jumbled the grammar was really bad and i just didn't speak well if i had known this right here simply take a deep breath and we talked about it in a previous video i told you all that it's okay to say let me let me think about that for a second you see how i paused for that long period of time you can do the same thing if you need to gather your thoughts and if you want to speak with confidence it's okay to pause but do a proper pause like that alright so take a deep breath the other fix is be fearless mind over matter push through your nervousness again i get it i totally understand when you don't feel prepared you start getting nervous you really don't want to speak because you don't think you have the words to say but be fearless it's okay take a deep breath remind yourself i am learning another language i do know enough i can give my opinion and start speaking mind over matter don't allow yourself to be tricked to think that you're not able to speak english with confidence you can do it you have to be fearless all right now reason number four here we go this is because you focus on your mistakes and think you can't basically you don't feel confident because you are constantly thinking about the mistakes you made in the past man oh man when i say i did this all the time i would focus on the things that i got wrong when i'd have a conversation with my professor or with a classmate or with one of my korean friends if i made a mistake i would think about that mistake for the rest of the day and sometimes even throughout the night i would have a bad dream why because i felt like i had been studying for so long why was i making the same mistakes maybe they're thinking i'm really not a good speaker you see what happened right i would go to start thinking about their opinions of me so many things would run through my head and again you probably experienced the same thing but this is what is causing you to feel less confident you need to stop focusing on your mistakes so here's what we got to do fix number one be nice to your self this is something that i think as human beings we forget sometimes we have to be nice to ourselves right you can beat yourself up sometimes no one can see what's going on but in your head you may say to yourself oof you've been studying english for five years you still don't know that word or oof you've been studying english for 10 years and you still can't express yourself sometimes these thoughts run through your head and i want to encourage you to stop doing that be nice to yourself again remember in the previous example we talked about encouraging yourself by developing an opinion of yourself remember you are amazing you're learning another language for some of you your third fourth or even fifth language be nice to yourself the next fix is right here remember that everyone makes mistakes when speaking english it's true even americans even people from england like we all make mistakes just like you make mistakes in your own mother tongue it's okay to make a mistake no one is asking you to be perfect it's alright just express yourself and i want you to remember that the next fix is right here list your past successes this is something that's going to help a lot you know right now you may be feeling like ah there's so many other things i want to do so many more words i want to learn but i don't want you to forget what you've already done because when you think about your past successes instead of your mistakes you get a boost of energy to keep going forward learning more but when you only focus on your mistakes suddenly you start to feel bad and less confident but if you remember wait a minute last year i was a beginner now i'm able to understand everything teacher tiffany says i'm able to express myself and apply the methods she taught me wow i am amazing and i want you guys to realize how amazing you are so again list your past successes now reason number five why you feel less confident you don't feel like you are learning fast enough basically you don't feel confident because you think you are learning english at a slow pace and that you don't know enough to express yourself again this is something that i've heard from so many students and some of my students in the past few months have told me this like teacher i don't feel like i'm learning enough i need to learn more vocabulary what can i do i need to learn more more and more and i agree it's important to continue learning which is why you're watching this video and which is why i'm making the video for you but the truth is you need to understand that going fast is not always the answer it's not about how fast you learn it's about how fast you are able to put into use or put into practice what you actually learn so what's the fix again right here monitor your progress this is something that will help you a lot so if you have a notebook write down when you learn a new word write it down when you learn a new concept write it down you can record yourself i encourage students that are in my academy so much record a video clip talk about what you learned today talk about what a word you like it's important to record yourself on a video clip or write something down because then you have a way to go back and see your progress and this actually results in you feeling more confident it's amazing how the brain works it's like a psychology uh like the interesting psychology behind this it's not just about oh i don't feel confident uh i need to speak more there's a lot more to it part of it is you need to monitor your progress now the other fix is right here practice regularly based on a set schedule this is also important set a schedule for yourself so for example when i used to exercise before the pandemic at the gym i would go at the same time every morning i would go at 5am and i'd see the same people every morning i get on the same machine and i run and then i go play basketball with one of the guys that was there but i had a routine and this routine was actually very helpful you need the same thing when you are studying english and trying to improve your ability to speak english with confidence this routine actually creates confidence because the more i exercised the more i got up in the morning and followed the routine the more the the better i felt about myself like tiff yesterday you exercise at 5 00 am and then 2 days ago you exercised at 5am you know you can do it today and it was like i was encouraging myself and the same will happen for you if you pick to learn three words today learn three words every day you can say hey yesterday i learned three words so today i'm going to learn three words and tomorrow i'm going to learn three words practice regularly and it will make you feel more confident and that will affect your ability to speak english here's the other fix follow through do what you say and you will respect yourself more too this actually happened this morning right before this video i you know because of the pandemic i hadn't been exercising a lot because i couldn't go to the gym and i still can't go to the gym so i bought a jump rope but i hadn't been using the jump rope because i was busy and i finally said you know what let me do this before i start working so i was jumping rope and i had a goal and i got halfway to the goal and i got tired and i said ah i really want to stop here and i mean no one's telling me i have to do it i can stop but then i heard a little voice in my head that said tiff if you reach your goal and you accomplish it you achieve it you're gonna feel so much better about yourself and i pushed through i followed through and i did what i had uh achieved that i went i wanted to achieve you see even right there even americans make mistakes it's okay guys but no i did what i wanted to do and i felt so much better after so the same is true for you you want to learn fast but instead of trying to learn so fast simply follow through with what your goal is remember small achievable goals this will help you feel more confident when you speak english and now the sixth reason you don't enjoy learning english now i know this comes at a shock as a shock to some but a lot of times you don't really enjoy studying english i think you enjoy these videos hopefully i enjoy talking to you but basically you don't feel confident because you don't enjoy what you are learning in english in other words you feel stressed whenever you study it makes a difference when you don't enjoy something the information you're studying has a harder time going in so you feel less confident because it's not really solidified in your mind so when you go to access it it's harder here are the fixes for this one celebrate the small stuff when you learn something hey you better be happy about it right celebrate the small stuff if you meet an american if you actually have a conversation with someone in english celebrate the small stuff if you write a comment in the comment section when you participate in the challenge and tell us your favorite way of studying celebrate that you wrote a comment in english which is not your first language it's okay to be happy about that it's okay to share that with somebody like hey i wrote a comment in english under a video and english is not my first language it's okay this is something that will help you enjoy english more then do more of what makes you happy i tell you all all the time i love sports i love exercising i love cooking i love eating i love these things and i love art so when i studied korean i made sure what i was learning was involved or connected to these things you need to do the same thing do more of what makes you happy find your interests and connect them to what english then if you realize that you enjoy watching tv dramas in english watch more of them if you realize you enjoy english podcasts listen to more of them i have some students that enjoy reading books like novels read more again find what makes you happy and it will result in more confidence because you will learn and be relaxed and calm so later on when you go to speak english it will come out a lot faster and easier and finally watch an english program for fun that's right take time to just relax and enjoy yourself find an english program currently i'm watching this is us now if you're watching this video and it's later on i'm sure you can go online and find it but for those who are watching it in real time find this is us this american drama it's good y'all it's really good it comes on tuesday evenings and i'm watching it but i enjoy it but again it's in english but you may also enjoy it watch it for fun and you'll start taking in information that will help you speak english with more confidence later because the information went in and it was very easy to retain the information now here's the deal i do understand speaking with confidence is not easy speaking in english is not easy but i hope these tips help you to have more confidence and to be more comfortable when you speak in english now that's all i have for you today thank you so much for joining me remember to speak english but also remember to put a comment in the comment section so that you can be a part of the challenge let us know what your favorite method of studying english is and i will choose one winner and that individual will get a 60 minute tutorial session with a cambly tutor all right okay guys i'll see you next week have an awesome day and as always remember to speak [Music] english you still there you know what time it is it's story time hey i said it's story time all right so today's story is about a time when i did not feel confident about my korean speaking ability so when i was in korea you know i lived there for almost 10 years and i got to the point where i was an advanced korean speaker but at my church i went to uh a multicultural church so there were koreans there and there were foreigners as in like americans people from africa people from europe we all worshiped together and because that was the case there were times when they needed translators now i i never offered to be a translator even though i could speak korean remember i told you i didn't feel confident at times even though i could speak so i understand what you're feeling so one sabbath again i'm a seventh day adventist so i go to church on saturday and we call it sabbath so one sabbath uh one of my friends walked up to me because our pastor was korean he spoke english and korean but his sermons were normally in korean so one of my friends walked up to me and said hey tiff and i said hey yeah she said so we need an extra translator immediately my heart started pumping my heart started racing and i started getting nervous now i told you i was already fluent in korean but for some reason i started to feel nervous and i wasn't confident she said so tiff would you mind helping us out i said ah give me a few days to think about it and i'll get back to you she said okay but we really need your help tiff and your english your korean is good you can do it she believed in me remember i said earlier sometimes other people's opinion of you is not really what you think my friend was like tiff you speak korean really well we know that you'll do great i was the one that didn't feel confident so i went home out to my apartment and i prayed about it and i still didn't feel confident but i knew that our church needed more translators so i said okay i'll do it um but i need like two or three weeks in advance like i needed to have the script or the sermon in advance that i could study it and make sure i understood everything because i was going to translate into english he would speak in korean and then i'd translate into english so she was so excited she was like okay tiff cool so she put me on the schedule and the time came for me to be the translator so she sent me the script well the pastor sent me the script and i think it may have been like seven or eight pages i spent maybe about six hours going over the sermon looking up the words making sure i knew everything so that i could be prepared remember i said part of feeling confident is when you feel prepared so i made sure that i went over the entire uh script and knew the sermon i still didn't feel confident though i was still nervous so sabbath morning saturday morning came saw the pastor great guy great guy so he said hey tiff again all of this is happening in koreans like hey tiff are you ready i said yeah you know it's praying god will be good you know god will help so we get on the pulpit or on the stage in front and he starts with saying the prayer and again my heart is racing the entire time again on the outside everyone sees smiling confidence i say good morning and happy sabbath everyone i'm just translating real time right inside i'm so nervous so then he continues and he starts to give his sermon and again i'm still nervous but all of a sudden i start to feel a little bit more at ease in the very beginning i was thinking about oh man because i'm looking at the congregation people that are in the audience and i'm like oh my goodness they're probably like tiff do you know what you're talking about are you sure like all of these thoughts were running through my head but there came a point when i started realizing that people were smiling at me i was like wait a minute they're smiling so they must be understanding what i'm saying i was speaking in korean but it was kind of like they were rooting me on and their thoughts about me were good and not bad so i started to feel my heart kinda go a little calmer and i started to feel more confident because i realized wait a minute they don't think anything negative about me tiff you can do it i started to encourage myself like tiff you can do it the pastor and i started to have a good time he even went off script means he said whatever he wanted to say off the cuff look that one up guys and i was able to translate in real time so we got through the sermon it was a blessing i was blessed the the audience the congregation was blessed and at the end you know he walked off he prayed and we walked off and he said tiff i really want to thank you so much for being my translator today i said oh my pleasure pastor no worries again he didn't know that i was super nervous inside after that i walked out to where we have to kind of shake everyone's hands and my friends were telling me tiff that was one of the best sermons i've heard in a long time your translation was amazing now again they don't speak korean but they were letting me know like tiff we were blessed you did a great job and then my friends who did speak korean and english walked up to me and said tiff that was amazing you did a great job keep going and i felt so much better so one thing i realized was i didn't want to do it at first because i didn't feel confident but i pushed through the nervousness and i continued and i prepared and i worked hard and when i got up front even though i felt nervous in the beginning by the end i felt very confident so much so that i became a member of the translation team so i was a regular translator for our church and that never would have happened if i allowed my nervousness or my fear to hinder me from going up front the same is true for you you may not feel confident at times when you're speaking english you may feel like when you try to speak in english that other people are looking at you other people are judging you don't think that instead push forward push through don't let your fear and nervousness hinder you from speaking english you can do it just like i was able to translate from korean to english you'll be able to speak english with confidence if you simply push through and set achievable goals you can do it and i believe in you hope you enjoyed this story um yes i translated a lot when i was in korea and i had many wonderful experiences and many wonderful people around me thanks so much guys i will see you next week remember to speak english and i'll talk to you next time

Channel: Speak English With Tiffani

Views: 292,708

Keywords: tiffani, tiffany, speak english with tiffani, speak english with tiffany, speak with confidence, how to speak english fast, how to speak english easily, how to speak english confidently, why you don't feel confident when you speak english, confidence english speaking, english fluency, speak english, how to be confident to speak english, confident to speak english, confident to speak, english, confident in english, confidence to speak english, feel confident when you speak english

Id: j2fCssBRxt0

Length: 35min 33sec (2133 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 15 2020