WHERE'S MY CAKE!? | Portal 2 - Part 1

top of the morning to you laddies my name is jacksepticeye and welcome to portal 2 I said I was thinking about playing it after we did portal 1 and I you know what the more I thought about it the more I just really really really wanted to play this game it's been I've played it once and only once the time that it actually came out their tame it came out it played back did haven't played since so I'm very interested to see it all again I can't remember a vast majority of the game just like Cave Johnson there's stuff a GLaDOS and some stuff towards the end and how it actually ends but let's just get in and do it continued game I don't have a continued game no sir yes I think maybe I do have a continue from years and years ago but I didn't even play this on PC I played this the last the first portal game the last this years I just did was the first time I ever played it on PC and I saved with this you have been at this mansion for in compliance with state and federal regulations all testing candidates in the Aperture Science extended relaxation center must be revived periodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise you will hear a buzz when you hear the buzzer look up at the ceiling okay you will hear a buzzer when you hear the buzzer look down at the floor have a ceiling tittie good this completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise the gymnastic portion there's a framed painting on the wall please go stand in front of it okay so he said that we've been in stasis for 50 years this is heart you will hear a buzzer when you hear the buzzer stare at the art I'm appreciating hurts you should now feel mentally reinvigorated if you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance reflect briefly on this classical music [Music] oh god it's so good now please return to your bed okay hey well why I need to turn on subtitles for you though hi good good actually are you okay are you answer that I'm actually sure you're fine there's plenty of time for you to recover just take it please prepare for emergency evacuation I'm gonna get sound oh you might want to hang on to something word of advice that's you okay god I love Wheatley he's voiced by Stephen Merchant who's one of my favorite comedians and yeah all good I'm here talking to the ceiling Jenny waitis most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension now you've been under for quite a lot longer and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage but don't be alarmed all right although if you do it you do feel alarmed try the hold of that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told that you've got brain damage do you understand what I'm saying yeah so what does any of this make any sense just tell me just say yes okay what you're doing there is jumping you just you just jumped okay you know what that's close enough just hold tight oh reactor core safeguards are now non-functional please prepare for reactor Oh [Music] wait I wasn't gonna mention this to baby Walter fellows is so cool the reserve power right so of course the whole relaxation center starts waking up the buddy Tessa aha Jesus [Music] Oh what you tell me anything boy should I be captain for you know Jesus functions of the 10,000 learning test subjects I'm supposed to be charged on lines cups can you say thank you through for not of space right no just just go get through here yikes not concentrate and whose fault do you think it's gonna be when the management comes down here that fights nitrogen flipping vegetables okay listen we should get our stories straight all right if anyone asks and no one's gonna ask don't worry but if anyone asks tell them as far as you know the last time you checked everyone looked pretty much alive all right not dead okay almost there on the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks there's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here all right I think this is a docking station get ready I'm online good news - it's not a docking station - there's one mystery song I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall hold on Jesus the physics are unreal yike a room now I'll be honest you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet but at least you're a good jumper so jumping on your side just do your best and I'll meet you up ahead cool man like when I played this yeah yeah yeah yeah when I played this the first time and you saw those physics like crumble and crush and you saw it the walls disintegrating everything that was phenomenal it still holds up so well and again welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center we are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to circumstances of potentially apocalyptic significance beyond our control you recognize the room thanks to emergency testing protocols testing can continue these pre-recorded messages will provide instructional and motivational support so that science can still be done even in the event of environmental social economic or structural collapse the portal will open and emergency testing will begin in 3 2 what now there's that familiar sight hey it's me what's up shale how's it going looking very good for someone who's been in stasis for a very long time but we'll get to that in a second so this is the room that you start the first portal came in so I just love doors throwbacks good this game still looks amazing Hume and money based testing remains an important tool for science even in an emergency yes if cube and button based testing caused this emergency don't worry the odds of this happening twice are very slim alright take me up all of that stuff about material gates and everything we know that already we're smart brains we did it once before we will do it again so this game is a lot longer than the first portal game obviously the other one is sending hour and a half on your back and apply a medium pressure to your towels you are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the material emancipation grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your skin so goddamn funny it gets even funnier and funnier as it goes along such really phenomenal writing and this looks sensational the nature versus the aperture lab it's really cool anyway alright thank you for this very nice come on mr. cuvee right can I break this look at that refraction of the glass very impressive in we go horn read up and away we go very nice very good it needs to teach me how to use Porky's again because it's been a long title the technical difficulties we are currently experiencing your test environment is fun super box before re-entering of stay involved at the conclusion of testing please take a moment to write down the results of your test and Aperture Science reintegration associate will revive you for an interview when society has been rebuilt your great one thing I don't like about this game though is how many loading screens are in it every time you finish one of the easier to go through a loading screen nice we're being ruled by giant turrets are you still there oh of these environments hi should be a portal device on that podium over there no Stephen Merchant so funny how it's unfair how funny he is we do see the portal gun Stephen right so I'll put that's me protecting the cube and killing anybody that gets close because I love the cube so much also I've a portal for a head am i understanding that correctly probably not okay all-praised portal go on and me and GLaDOS gave me a cake and a cube she didn't give me the cake though it was a lie as they say oh I forgot I could do this oh god how do i how do I do it back out of that hello I don't know how I back out of this what put in today price no buttons are working oh oh I fixed it I had to restart the entire game but no more gestures on the screen I don't know why it's an older game maybe it's buggy who knows some emergency testing may require a prolonged interaction with lethal military androids rest assured that all evil military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the laws of robots to share good wow you feel that a lethal military Android has not respected your rights as detailed in the laws of robotics please note on your self-reporting form a future Aperture Science entitlement associate will initiate the appropriate grievance filing paperwork it's a fun there's so much personality and so much like lore and everything kind of going on cuz as you go through it you're like wait why is everything destroyed where am I cuz he says you're in phases for 50 days and then he says you're in stasis for nine nine nine nine and four so he breaks his very laws to help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death smooth jazz will be deployed in three two one [Music] lovely very nice [Music] oh I was enjoying that thank you I feel much camera than I did okay there's one block and then to block down here look at me go look at my big smarty brain thank you this message is pre-recorded many observations related to your performance are speculation on our part please disregard any undeserved compliments well so what do you mean compliment me I need it I've been trapped in stasis for a long time on reason okay I don't know what any of these was it beans I miss the beans I know I don't care if the cake is real or not all I care about is beans if the enrichment center is currently being bombarded with fireballs meteorites or other objects from space whities avoid unsheltered testing areas wherever a lack of shelter from space debris does not appear to be a deliberate part of the test god I really love the dilapidated scenes it's so cool to look at okay can I just catch you honey here oh wait Here I am rock you like a hurricane all right what are we getting that is not where I thought you'd be but welcome friends all right that does that cool and then another one's gonna come out of here Oh think oh well I'm gonna get down there catch ah yes I'm a legend and spook well done the enrichment center reminded you that all those circumstances may appear believe you are not alone remain functional you know politic low-power environments of SVU as 1.1 bolts hi just had to put up the thing but I decided to die it was gonna get myself into the game I was gonna send me in coach if the laws of physics no longer apply in the future god help you oh it's good to be back baby it's good to be feeling it once more all right we got to put our block down through though are you ready blocky wait hold on go blocky go yeah beautiful bastard wait and here I also am it you are a non-employee Zee has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization welcome and remember testing is the future and the future starts with you yes yes very good [Laughter] oh you thought we were doing some momentum stuff in portal 1 nah brah it's about to get so it's about to get wild and wacky out here by blocky well goddamnit blocky alright how about we try this again shall we huh nice no no my god we as in a way that bounced whatever okay let's do it again Oh God nice we're getting this part thank you that says if you are simple-minded fold radiated in such a way that the future should not start with you please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better qualified contestant all safety devices have been disabled the enrichment center respects your right to have questions or concerns about this pausing is he you did find a portal gun oh do you know what it just goes to show people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end are they the end of the day brave okay listen let me lay something on you here is pretty heavy they told me never never ever to disengage myself from my management rail or I would die but we're out of options here so get ready to catch me alright on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing okay on three ready I got you buddy to leap of faith all right going on three just give you too much time to think about it let's go on one this time okay ready I try sorry plug me into that stick on the wall over there yeah and I'll show you something you'll be impressed with it well I is this a sexual thing yeah I can't do if you're watching I'm not joking could you just turn around for a second god I forgot how funny this was all right you can turn right now secret panel while you're backwards turn and this [ __ ] is so awesome the levels behind the levels but this no rail to tell us where to go oh this is brilliant we go wherever we want hold on there where are we going let me just get my bearings just follow the rail actually yes don't make eye contact whatever you do no thanks keep moving keep moving oh that's so sad he he's different no he's a good one I don't wanna leave him here Wheatley you're an absolute Chad cool to bring you up to speed on something right now okay Chad leaves to escape we're gonna have to go through her chamber and she will probably kill us if she's awake you want to just call it quits we could just sit here forever that's an option option a sit here do nothing option B go through there and if she's alive she'll almost surely give us a she tried once before we'll see what happens the cards on the table I don't want to do it I don't want to go in there don't go in there Gigi's off she's also panic over she's off Oh fine or we go this is the same is this the same place that I bought her no it's not she's so cool there she is what a nasty piece of work she was honestly top Romania do you know who ended up hurting them ended up taking it down in the end you're gonna believe this a human I know I know why all this human escaped and nobody's seen him since crazy was a long chunk of time where absolutely nothing happens and then there's also scaping known so and that's pretty much the whole story you have to speak oh don't worry we'll be back down these stairs still being held that's a great job you've applied the grit we're all fine that's tremendous I'm not actually holding on to you it's more the gun that's doing anything and I'm not allow drop you even if I wanted to kind of want to god this is the main breaker room let's go in so cool look for a switch that says escape pod all right don't touch anything else no age is anything else don't touch anything else don't even look anything else just what obviously gonna look everything else to find the escape pod but soon as you look this I mean it doesn't say escape pod look at something else look at the next thing alright but don't touch anything else all okay well look at other things but don't you understand yeah good idea good idea also these subtitles block like half the screen sometimes that's God quoting God ominous but probably fine long as it'll start see they're moving on no I know it turn under thing against [ __ ] you've got it indeed okay all right stop panicking I can't get rid of this thing she's alive now it's you know long time how have you been I've been really busy ended me you did what yeah it was kind of me okay okay look we both said a lot of things that you're going to enjoy differences behind us for silence I love that line god I wish I could get rid of a little scream but since you went to all the trouble of making meal we must really I love it too there's just one small thing we need to take care of first Wow she killed chadley okay I think Romana superhero landing the incinerator room over any parts of me that didn't get completely burned when you throw them down here the middle portal device should be around here somewhere once you find it we can start testing just like old times oh no is he gonna die I'll save you yes yes friend buddy I say to I found it thanks thanks anyway back to the testing area other hand tonight oh oh that's so weird that's so strange to do anyway where are we going once testing starts I'm required by protocol to keep interaction with you to a minimum luckily we haven't started testing yet this will be our only chance to talk do you know the biggest lesson I learned from what you did I discovered I have a sort of black box quicksave feature jerem the event Allah catastrophic failure the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis I was able well forced really to remove you killing me again and again nor ever you know if you've done that to somebody else they might devote their existence to exacting revenge luckily I'm a bigger person than that I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work after all we've got a lot to do and only 60 more years to do I don't have the actuarial tables in front of me but the important thing is you are back with me and now I'm on to all your little tricks so there's nothing to stop us from testing for the rest of your life that's a net who knows I might take up a hobby reanimating the dead alright waddle a mess I've really let the place go since you killed me by the way thanks for that sarcasm self test complete there oh good that's back online I'll start getting different while you perform the first simple test which involves deadly lasers and how test subjects react when locked in a room with deadly lasers great grace loving it absolutely loving it where do I put Oh right here they did it gladden are you proud of me wait hold on we see this first I'll stand on it and then and then and and then I forgot how good you are at this thank you you should pace yourself though we have a lot of tests to do that's a lot of work that goes into one tiny laser that I just did geez so we get back into actual testing stuff cuz now GLaDOS is back on on top for this next test involves discouragement redirection cubes I just finished building them before you had your well episode so now we'll both get to see how they were there it would be one in the corner I see it can I have it alright you go over here Nate easy simple nice and handy I also forgot that this is the game where you get the the gels so we'll get like we'll get the blue and orange gels well done here come the test results you are a horrible person that's what it says well I'm glad I passed the flying colors don't let that horrible person thing discourage you it's just a data point if it makes you feel any better science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep cheats thanks mom okay that did that I love this everything's just falling apart and the rooms are like getting back together Wow as you're flying through them and all right where am I actually going I should go up here first hi everybody it's me I know huh all right that's one and then we'll take you and put you on the test most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds that's mean okay it's hard and isolation all right I'm not going to say an exercise as much as I want to have a trap here for a while feels like a million years oh come on GLaDOS test chambers faster than I can build them so feel free to slow down do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility it's really cool when everything is destroyed and it puts it back in a somewhat normal manner and this really I mean you got to see it a little bit in portal one but you really see the inner workings of how these things are put together in this game I can't go in with all of these pneumatic hydraulic arms behind it all so it shows that because all the rooms are like boxes but they're all basically just put together however they want in any sort of shape or form that they want it's really cool we also saw at the start of the game all the other sort of enrichment center candidates all of their pods and all their little cube rooms as well as mine but I'm the only one who's left alive Wow someone's making noise over there what is it all right well this stop if I just do this it's surely Willie oh hey we go what is this hey come on Chumlee oh here we go oh yeah nice okay okay just let it go again there you go there you go there you go nice you are listening to me for the record you don't have to go that slowly shut up and I got this I'm a smart house is easy yes I did it GLaDOS god I love these it's got me some puzzles later on worried tie-up launcher those together you're not breathing really it's too expensive to pump this far down we just take carbon dioxide out of a room freshen it up a little and pump it back in so you'll be breathing to save room full of air for the rest of your life I thought that was interesting it is very interesting it's like being on a plane or you're breathing in everybody else's farts all the time yummy yum yum yummy see I told you there's so many loading screens in this game no mess me into the air without a care in the world I have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up 15 acres of broken glass by myself oh come on GLaDOS it's not that bad Hey Oh a legend oh great as we go nice that was so fun sweet alright where is this coming down sorry I'm still cleaning out the test chambers so sometimes they're still trashing them standing around smelling and being useless try to avoid the garbage hurtling towards you that's a lot of it okay do I need any of this yeah what's the nice chair here though with the garbage and a gigantic CD again okay give me a cube this time yay thanks GLaDOS you know she's really not that bad I love this game also doesn't have like one or two editions it's not like oh this is porcelains but now slightly different this is they added so much more to this game where is the Bhutan LaBute only Bhutan we nice excellent good job me thanks making about smelly garbage standing around are useless that was a metaphor I was actually talking about you shocked I'm sorry you didn't react at the time so I was worried and sailed right over which would have made this apology seem insane that's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now okay got us I've been called much worse and I'll be called much worse again mmm I am garbage thank you GLaDOS I appreciate your belief in me startled by loud noise I'm sorry I don't know why that went off anyway just an interesting science fact it's so good a fizzle that before you could complete the test I'm sorry go ahead and grab another one front right Oh Oh companion cube you're back no I fizzled that one too oh well we have warehouses full of the things ultimately worthless I'm happy to get rid of them they're not worthless they're my friends we righty then let me just grab my cube friend here thank you it's gonna put you up here before I get there cuz I feel like that that's that's probably better for for everybody you know nope nope get on there get on there Cubase and I will do what [Music] every test chamber is equipped and emancipation grill and its exit so that test subjects cannot smuggle test objects out of the test area this one is broken don't take anything with you Oh i'ma take something with me I'm gonna take my buddy old pal here yes let's go let's be together forever yes come on cube come on we get to do it finally no dicks I think that one was about to say I love you and they are sentient of course we just have a lot of them that's so mean gonna beat you glad us ground involved emancipation grill remember I told you about them in the last test area you sure babe alright so I need to go in whoa that works really well thank you I have to go wait this next test does require some explanation let me give you the fast version if you have any questions just remember what I said in slow motion test on your own recognizance I'll be right back she's such a faker she's such a stinky fecker she knows what she's doing what a stink all right but I solved that it's not that hard you do that always come on give me something harder me being big manly brain up in the head hole Oh what is going on here Oh should I stand on it oh you really hate that wall let me sound on it I want you to hate me as much as you hate that wall damn it woman [Music] the aerial faith plate in here is sending a distress signal you broke it didn't you No try it now read it to someone of your generous yes I'll add a few zeros to the maximum wait you look very healthy thank you Oh thank see what do we got going on over here what just stinks yeah seems likely which is the best way to go about doing this I keep the orange there and then do this this will work oh I miss Wheatley I want to talk to him again no that's not really gonna work now is it cuz I need it I needed to do that need to be the other one to open up the button together yep yep yep let's just do this again never mind my brain still smart my brain still big still big smart brain just it's just taking a while to get up to full of gear taking a full while to get up to full speed well I'm a small brain now a just crushed it does that need to go oh right there quite simple really isn't it then how about we do you there and you there easy I get it I've put on a little weight leave me alone damn it GLaDOS some self conscious enjoy this next test I'm going to go to the surface it's a beautiful day out well yesterday I saw a deer if you solve this next test maybe I'll let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room know your wall and I'll tell you about the time I saw the deer again no you wall you suck you never do nice things for me ever can I get out over there yeah chia-chia we we thank you for the block eat um oh that actually works out really well let's do something trained figure out where the block is actually needed all right well let's just do this for now no well you want to go again hell yeah it was awesome alright okay we lock you off all right got it got it getting it got it so we need to come out hit that then go and hit that and then we end up above gotcha what how oh oh just like that turns out wasn't that hard at least that still works boom come to me oh okay careful I can't move this beam though can i is there a separate beam I don't think so stinky I don't stink so oh oh I get it wait no I know Jesus shaved my moustache a second on that one we have to do this okay not exactly that take this one and then you take this one uh-huh ah you see in it are you putting it together in your head excellent excellent excellent excellent now a test it's kind of hoping you go in your own way awesome well you passed the test I didn't see the deer today no I did see some humans but with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need what do they look like did they have faces that does sound like a human what's up next are you gonna test my toes with now 11 one more double first ridges are made from natural light that I pumped in from the surface if you rubbed your cheek on one it would be like standing outside with the sun shining on your face Oh it also set your hair on fire Oh bit late finder already dude alright catch me catch me catch me touch me whoa Oh scary Oh se Jin yell but nice then huh nice yeah I got you buddy don't worry no how do I get over there just like this yeah uh see brain it is a wonderful thing excellent you're a predator and these tests are you afraid speaking of which I was researching sharks for an upcoming test do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them with it did you guess sharks because that's wrong the correct answer is nobody nobody but you is that point grave I love these behind-the-scenes sort of things as well she is actually taking light and beaming it down and then it turns into these hard light bridges so cool and then all the valve stuff after this game was displayed in this sort of little mini diorama format when you start up your HTC vive or your valve index the first time the little setup mode has these little guys in it they come over and they stand next to you and you get to see how big they're it's really cool also there was a chunky turret in here doors malfunctioning I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too no don't get up I'll be right back I'll touch it all they get through I'm here weightless as bird eggs up here just dropped me to the door mechanism shut it right down okay [Music] okay the point is we're gonna break out of here all right very soon I promise I promise I just have to figure out how to break us out of here if she comes keep Tech just keep testing remember you never saw me never saw so fun let this affect in the window with the door mainframe let's just say he won't be living anymore anyway back to testing she killed the little doorman that's really mean whoa okay righty ho ho I thought it would come out under me as well I did all blinky small setback doctor testing uh-huh uh-huh just just just do it like this that's what I meant to do the first time works out really well now I need to get this come along blockers now how do we get you over there that is our question isn't it yes what if we just do another thing like that pretty good huh I reckon I think so already sure where to go after this no oh god don't go through it um what about here okay working out really well good job we're doing well could be doing better though actually it's quite easy now that I think about it because all I have to really do is like that and then go through here Oh shush I don't hear any of it alright in fact you did so well I'm going to note this on your file 316 Dacian section oh there's lots of room here well enough I'll take it man I'm not here to be the best student I'm just here to pass the tests and have fun this next test involves Torres you remember them right I'm doing a circle things that are full of bullets oh wait that's you in five seconds not the spherical thing full of bullets I know that you actually get to see them being put together it's just a robot crammed full of bullets all right well I'm gonna leave this first episode of portal 2 here what a way to kick it all off sadly that is all the time I have and some of the technical issues kind of ran me out of time as well but I'm really glad to be playing this it's so funny it's it's even funnier than I remember I think I appreciate the humor even more now than when the game came out if the writing is just so phenomenal the only thing that still bugs me is all of these loading screens it would be cool if there was an update with better technology but it's just the engine is so old by now that they had to load each individual thing and at the time this was a lot of moving parts this is a lot of physics it was a lot of like really nice lighting going on a lot of stuff to take in or put in place so it was a lot to render I just wished that there was an update to get rid of all these loading times because every chamber basically has a loading screen after it but it's not enough to Sully the experience but if you've never seen poor t2 before first of all I hope you're liking it smash like if you are but also ie there's a lot of really terrific storytelling coming in this series it's such a phenomenal game and the way it takes this concept and actually builds out a full like heartfelt story out of it and does so much more with it than the first game is really really tough quality stuff so look forward to that don't forget to subscribe if you want to keep up-to-date with all the portal 2 stuff I'll see you guys in the next one [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: jacksepticeye

Views: 2,564,541

Rating: 4.9765382 out of 5

Keywords: jacksepticeye, portal, portal game, portal series, portal gameplay, portal jacksepticeye, portals, portal walkthrough, portal playthrough, portal part 1, portal walkthrough part 1, portal full series, portal long play, portal full game, glados, funny, funny moments, funny game, portal full walkthrough, portal 1, half life, portal 2, portal 2 gameplay, portal 2 full game, portal 2 jacksepticeye, portal 2 walkthrough, portal 2 playthrough

Id: Bgiw8vGu0Yc

Length: 49min 31sec (2971 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 18 2020