Top of the morning to you laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye AND WELCOME TO PORTAL 2 WITH BOB! Jack: We're gonna try and science the shit out of everything
Bob: Hi! Jack: Oh wait I have to gesture at you, Jack: Can I , high five? Jack: Um... Bob: How do I- How do I gesture? Jack: Q. Jack: I'm gesturing. Jack: HELLO, MY NAME IS ROBOT. Bob: I'm holding Q and the wheel is coming up but I can't pick anything! Jack: oh..*laughs* Bob: Why-why am I stupid? Bob: can't believe I broke it before we were even in the game! Jack: *laughs* Jack: Quality content! Jack: I think I played this with somebody online ages and ages ago... Jack: But that was when the game came out. Jack: I ca- can't remember any of this Jack: OK! In we go! Bob: I... I... I invited you to play this too. I have to say i'm supremely awful at this sort of game. Jack: Ah great. heheheh... Bob: I am absolute GARBAGE at puzzles. Jack: I'm GREAT at the execution but I am not an ideas man.. Jack: Get in your pod!! Bob: Oh.. Sorry. Jack: God damn it Bob: I.. If.. Jack : We have to get, um, absolutely dismantled before we go anywhere though. Bob: Yeah why am I getting murdered? Jack : *laughs* Bob : Couldn't they just.. Transport us in like in a..a.. you know, like a elevator sorta situation or something? Jack : Yeah.. Probably... Also be prepared for like... 400... Loading screens. Bob: *giggles* Jack : Like.. Every time you do a tiny little thing it's like.. LOADING SCREEN! Bob : We should come up with a loading screen song.. Jack: ♪ This is the loading screen song ♪ Jack: ♪ Loading screen song ♪ Jack : ♪ We are loading ♪ Jack: ♪ Put the block on the laser beam.. ♪ Jack : ♪ Pick it up right nooowwwww!!! ♪ Jack : Was that a good song? Bob : That- is that the song for every loading screen? Jack : Hahaha! I-I hope not! Jack : Cause I can't remember it! Both: *giggle* Bob : ♪ This is the loading screen song ♪ Bob : ♪ Loading screen song ♪ Bob : ♪ We are loading ♪ Bob : ♪ Pick up the block, put it on the thing right nooww! ♪ Jack : ♪ Go over there and stand on the platform! ♪ Jack : ♪ Don't get your legs lasered offfffffff! ♪ Jack: Kay. Bob : *giggling* Oh god! Bob: Wait, this, is this gonna go Jack: Okay, wait
Bob: Wait, this, is this gonna go Bob: In the death water? Bob: WHAT you doing to me? Jack: What? Bob: Just... I'm pretty sure this water kills me. Jack : Ok.. Can you jump to that? Bob : Am I supposed to jump across? Jack : I think you can do it! I believe in you! Jack: Oh wait. Bob : Oh, you're gonna have to catch me with it.. Alright ready? Jack : Ok. Bob: thre- don't miss. Jack: Ohhh.... Go Go Go Go! Go team!
Bob: thre- don't miss. all: *screaming* Bob : That didn't work. Bob : Can we get more blocks? Jack : No, that just resets the block! Bob: Oh... Jack: Have you never Portaled before? Bob: Sorry...
Jack: Have you never Portaled before? Jack: Oh shit.... Jack: Stop it! Jack: Wait... We have fucking portal guns, why aren't we using them? *Jackaboy laugh* Bob: Oh... Bob: Wow, that makes my brain sad inside. *Jack laughs* Bob: Alright, well... Jack: It's a Portal game Bob: You wanna do this then? Jack: Yeah Bob: I'll shoot the thing at the stuff and you do the regular walk around stuff? Jack:...Okay Jack: Okay. Jack: You fire... Bob: Go. Bob: Go? Jack: Yeah, go. Do that. Do that. Go. Jack: It's going down Bob: Do it. Jack: Heeeeeeah! Jack: I did it! Bob: Alright, ready?
Jack: Keep that one going all the way up.
Bob: We're gonna have to do this quick Jack: Yep Bob: I'm gonna have to... I'm gonna have to get this one to the right really quick and accurate Jack: Okay, okay. Go! Go! (B: The wall goes up pretty high) Jack: Oh, it does Bob: Can I crush you on the ceiling, man? Jack: Noooooo! Jack: Don't do it! NOOOO! Bob: What would happen if I... Jack: NO. Bob: What would happen if I crushed you on the ceiling? Jack: We would fail the level and we'd fucking have to do it again. (Bob: Alright, whatever) Bob: Look, I'll do it right. I'll do it right. Bob: Or will I.....? Bob: Or will I.....? Jack: Yep. Bye~ Bob: Yeah, I will Jack: You just burn my legs off Bob: I can still zap you with this shit Jack: Okay, see ya later! Bye~ Jack: OWWW Jack: Okay... Bob: Oh, god, I actually- I thought I couldn't shoot through there! Jack: owww Jack: That hurt me... Bob: Sorry I'll stop shooting the laser Jack: Okay, you need to go... (B: How do I get over there?) Jack: You need to put the block on the laser and shine it over there Bob: Over like this? Jack: Yeah Jack: And then you go under the thing and go through my portal. Bob: Ohhhh I gotcha Jack: And Bob's your uncle and also your name Bob: Yeah, I'm not my uncle. I'm just myself. Bob: Can we make that a phrase? Bob's yourself? * laughter~* GLaDOS: ... specified.... Jack: We did it, GLaDOS! Bob: We solved it~ GLaDOS: ... when two or more people work together. Bob: Is this...? Jack: Oh, sorry, wrong pod. Jack: This is your pod? B: Oh. J: Oh, okay. J: Ohhhhh B: I sort of wish it would close and be like: "You did it wrong." B: "You're a fucking idiot." J: Yeah, it just starts dismantling you wrong *Bob’s laughter* J: Taking you apart as the orange dude J: It shows great promise, that the very first puzzle you use a portal gun in, we couldn't do... B: I know! You're just like: "What's with these platforms...? I don't get it." J: "What is the deal with these platforms?" J: Aha, now over here! B: Oh, shit J: We actually have to use these for something. J: Uh oh. B: Do we have to like, go down here somehow? Is there anywhere we can shoot a portal? B: Oh, hey, look what I did! J: Hey, you did it~ J: Good job B: Insert disc, they say B: (repeatedly) Where J: Where would one find a disc? J: Where, oh where, oh where is disc-o? J: Oh wait J: There we go B: "Hold for Countdown?" J: Wait, how does this work? J: What? (B: What does that do?) J: Ohhhh J: There's another switch back here B: We have to do them together. J: Okay, 3, 2, 1! J: Flip the nuke! J: We did it! B: Hey, it's just a door J: Shit B: Ah, fuck! J: Are we supposed to shoot a portal through? Okay B: We need to shoot a portal in there, yeah J: Okay, you do the countdown this time cuz I messed it up B: 3, 2, 1 go B: Boop J: Booper doop! J: Booper doop~ J: I'm in here now~ (B: Yaaay!) J: Booper doop J: I got a disc! (B: We need a disc) B: Oh, cool, that's what we need J: Slink! J: That's a giant disc J: That's like a plate! GLaDOS: You mananged to complete the.... ROBOT J: Calibrating... GLaDOS: Oh, I almost forgot. J: What? GLaDOS: When you go outside the testing courses, the only way I can retrieve you GLaDOS: Is to violently dissemble you and then... *seductive music* B: Oh. Yeah, is that a *scream* B: Oh god J: Why? J: ♪ Loading screen, loading screen ♪ J: ♪ This is the loading screen ♪ J: That didn't meter out, properly *giggles* J: Yay, we're alive B: Hey, we're back at the thingy J: We did it J: Team building J: Why is there orange and... red, or, uh blue on them? J: What's that mean? B: That's us, bro J: I know that. Oh, that's level four. We don't need level four. J: We need level two B: Level two's over here J: Whoosh J: And.... whoosh! B: I can't... I may have J: NO J: Can I push you off? Can I push you- Damn it! *laughter* B: You can try. Here, push me off. *Jack grunts* J: Fuck you *Jack giggles* J: Ah, dude, they're hacking up there! *beeping noises of teh hax* {cake hacks} B: Who's hacking? J: I dunno (B: Oh, shit) J: We're good at video games B: Yeah, why would I know how this works? J: Really helping that whole stigma of let's players being bad at games *the laughter of the Bob* B: That's my whole stick, man B: If I was good at games, it wouldn't be entertaining J: Precisely. See, Bob gets it B: I know what to do! I know what to do! No, you're doing it wrong! Jack: Put a portal over there Jack: You need to do both portals. Ok. Bob: Do it! Jack: AHHHH- BOOSH Jack: niceee.. now you can do it too Bob: YAAAAAY! Bob: Hey, I'm not in the right place. Jack: GO! JUMP DOWN BRO! Jack: Right there. Right There. Bob: Do I have to. Im afraid of heights Bob: Hey I can see you! Look through the portal. Jack: Oh Hi! Bob: Hey! Jack: Wait! Wait! Wait! I've got a gesture. *Robot Waves* Jack: Hello! Bob: I still can't- I still ca- I still can't do it *Jack laughs at Bob's failure to gesture* Jack: Get Rekt! Bob: Why am I not allowed to gesture, This is bullshit... Bob: Hey, Hey! *Jack laughs as he tries to trick Bob* Bob: You fucker Jack: Okay. *Jack laughs* *jack still laughing*
Bob: Oh you fucking snite, you know what. (Jack: Okay seriously.) I'm just going to go over here. This- This is fine. I'll just stay in the corner. Jack: I'm good, I'm done, I'm done sorry Jack: Okay i'll put.
Bob: Thumbs down.
Jack: I'll give myself a thumbs down Bob: Thumbs down for me.
Jack: Okay go Jack: Yeah
Bob: I almost missed the hole *Laughing*
Jack: You thought I was going to do it, didn't you?
Bob: I was pretty sure you were going to do it yeah Jack: Naw. There's a, there's a fine night limit, on those things when they get really REALLY annoying Bob: Yeah but the way to make it funny is to keep going until it gets super anoying and then keep going past that, (Jack: till it get's funny again) till you almost explode and murder each other and then keep going past that then it's funny Bob: Where the fuck do we get the cube? Bob: Where are you Companion cube dispenser? Bob: what are you doin'? Jack: Im up here now! Jack: Wait there's things on the Jack: Can I fly across somewhere? Jack: is there a thing up here? Bob: jack, here i got you Bob: Go trough there Jack: HeheheNHEEAH Jack: Yeah i did it! Bob: i think we need to go to the other side first Bob: can you jump down? Jack: HUP! Bob: And shoot a Portal up where im looking at that thing Bob: and then i'll fly across and then i can portal back where you just went Jack: Aaah i getcha' Bob: Wait no i can't, No i can't hang on hang on Bob: Leave those there im ready! *jack laugh* Bob: Fuck Fuck Fuck me fuck, alright! Jack: Whai whaa Bob: we need to do.. i need to do that and then jump Bob: and then i got your back *jack Scream* Jack: aaaaaaahhhhhhh Bob: and I said I was bad a puzzles, alright now you get your self up in that jumping hole Jack: wait I don't... J: Hupp B: And then i put..uh.. this... J:Is that enough for me to get across? B: Think so that's how we did it before isn't it J: I'm scared. J: AHHHHHHH GERONIMO Woo yeah! B: And than we push both these buttons hup! yeah I got em' all (okay ash catchem) B: and fuck yeah!...is there fall damage? J: No. J:Yeah high five *pfft* B: Hi-hi... i pushed Q it's-it's not doin it J: Hahaha you can't gesture haha B: Fucking how about this can you do this? (B: Point to this!) J: I can point really well! J: Huh? huh? how would you like it if I point at cha!? J:Awwww I can't gesture on the loading screen thing... ); J: Just like going into the thing like HELLO J: Were good at this! B: yeah I nailed that one i'm the best at puzzles turns out! J: Bob has a brain inside his head B: I'm a puzzle master J: well...~ J: Okay here we go figured it out did it! B: Uhhh actually i think that is what we need J: Okay yeah. that I told you that's what we needed to do! B: Go somewhere and shoot out of here while... ...someone's holding that button where we jump off from okay you need to look forward to the Bologna and above think you're ready for this shit yeah oh god oh you're fired get out and look at the top of my own hey man look all right you need to get rid of the top one yeah I got you I got you i'm having a cents are quite glad this is there a i I press the button and you do it who ya.. J:Oh got it's timed go! it's oh I throw first okay okay very often yeah oh yeah oh yeah I don't know that Wow yes oh I can yeah but that's a good eyeball you got their boss and sweaters to go through another loading coming up just do like a bunch of them all at once click support of your absence you're crazy and I'm laughing she would be kind of cool actually what we could just jump down to it we can travel instead of it how much can you like what did you hurt your ankle no you just close this is low-impact exploration with this is she saying something to us i don't care what's the floor goes away haha hey right you need to come right here yeah i was just about to say I think you need to gesture me to come down alright and then I can't get up there How in the shit I don't know man hahaha mobile access even turning right now all I know what to do but I know what to do first come up here right here bc i'm pointing my up here and put your portal here tonight thinking that walked around yeah and then I'll start fallin and then you launch me okay that's okay i trust you Bob are you following trust unit i'm falling full speed is very sound like you find it shows me on my screen I got picture-in-picture I just your gesture i'm doing gestures at the air oh I really shit while I really slammed into the can you can you do that yeah yeah and then I'm gonna drop you cut your vital valuable things alright I gotta ball you like my balls i do that's very nice ball not going to destroy its registrated I mean to drive up beautiful take it yay ball ball ball ball ball when you got all ball sits a ball you can get without idiots after all yeah that's when we redeem ourselves we be level for assistance with this world to level 40 I mean I'm not one to brag but what up rest of the world we got the same thing going on here again can't let you know how we got there I dude I got you bro homie g how this will work ok go through the thing over to purchase one of these I got you you ready you have to press the button when you come out of this I'm at full speed let's do it oh god what you got got it ok alright come back and do another one for me Oh read more and more momentum of a mess it up alright i'm at full speed let's do this shit yeah i got the buttons did I not get the other side no it's what I know it do I know what you need to do okay i don't like to do but i'm not good at timing it oh wait i know i know i love in the air you just need to put the platform on the other thing yeah yeah oh god get it got a second have fun things like no I get your own I got my own yeah really ball soccer fashionable enough i think our ball together people who look I'm multiplying the balls that we have that's actually really fucking weird isn't it and yeah was like Eric what if I just mix it up with these crazy balls-up off and break all your balls bitch i just make more of them damn it really keeps your this place sucks baton taps i'm out i like that we have to look at each other being dismantled as the real good look at me look at me get this assemble not looking to do you know who you're lucky here we could be that you can hope can't shoot you but I could use that I bet you can't I bet you can't wait to see I've the smart out I brought you know you can't get through well I can't do it yes away its again oh I'm going to shave a sad emoji all I bet you have Wi-Fi I just involuntarily high-five you yeah can control board so far away can I do that Rob where bitch no damage to focus on cod and half is Camilla yeah Cookson's nobody la you're face is writing my dust when yeah that's such a non-consensual hope they clog up the flat biggest one hey I understand the puzzle I figured it out first I'm smart to see you happy haha oh you fucking bitch oh gods are no yeah-oh the public input lucky man oh he's been another one why we fly oh I got it what ok I don't get it haha yes wait what perhaps maybe go back ah good tips fucked up okay you enjoy doing so you go you jump through there and then shoot blue no yes shoot we'll put in front of you know dark blue you're watching flood like this ok i left now that is i think i have to put one on this and then you go flying further know you want you want to do this we're going to wait just gotta go at the asia i didn't know the back on advise the end yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah he out oh fuck there's another thing here hot cheese that gosh how in the shits mac-10 just want a thing on this but how no wait i know i have it do i do I don't trust your know your things wait no wait i figured it out i truly did alright same setup as last time I don't think I figured it out can you leave a portal on the jump pad and then put the orange one on this yet that's the thing that's what I had figured out all right I get it I get it now so I think you're going to it bounces you back out there are you ready yeah you're doing orange now go through the jump pad oh yeah we get 0 and this and then I just give it the old huh yeah hey quite i/o body their army of going to happen it's ok i could give you all of it huh what does this button do it opens up a thing two platforms but oh can't you can launch itself in there now oh wait wait very honest I got all you get that yeah I see how he was doing there I see you need to hand that up to me I get it now I can't whoa oh ok bro and yes if you got it and he got it he got it yeah I McGee neress now you just like this bro and it's no big deal no big deal bro you just go to victory bro yeah but we're from there fuck all right now do that and then i will i will launch you further will you well Wow truly will is their portal of some sort over there is a wall can you shoot anywhere down yeah shoot your other one but yeah yeah that makes sense i'm going to have to launch you just have to walk through do this hey oh my god yes would be shit did you gesture turn know down here that's fine I thought that looks till your arms are so long except this time we're going to play the game now yeah Crouch run through only a look look at your dumb face we can you play your dumb self what you fuck you I'm leaving okay i like the way by shit what's up how there's a launchpad IC ok now if I just don't be a fucking dingus here we go don't be one of that here we are shit I got you bro come out don't walk backwards go in the hole go in the hole bro ok I needed to launch further though you you needed to bring a cube with you is the whole thing where is the cube i don't know and i think i think this up here is the cube dispensers and it that big up there oh yes how do we open that shit white you me and my buddies over here oh I'm going off shit the buttons over there alright I think about that or even get yeah yeah got it and then we put that under think you're down here breath but got gotti not gonna elevator you off no I think you're gonna I think that just opens the door I think you still need to do the things for me know why did they jumped down okay well I that same shit and i had got it I got it thank you you doing alright so then i'll go do this and you you hook me up with that same day I'm dude I got you I got you like it up little kids we give me your six churches yeah they got you holding it at all here you come here you go my boy racer all just all the matter the hour oh okay jeez I high specific sweet today with some clever and smart and ultimate tournament everyone wishes they were us yeah but it i think is the same blue gems oh god oh god oh god oh well I made a box oh no the box flew away blank tipica she's been kind of sending towards you and I got ideas that idea how I got there we go there we go you have to put another one here yes yeah back across we have the time it ok and what that ok a problem my god that it's called me i could not have been perpetually already you're ready yeah it's too much it's all those people sorry i got your attitude i doing you want to get you guys well I got put better sooner I said yeah you can buy that got off lucky I got your back to Russia love ya oh my god we fucking don't did pop up that was amazing ok whatever homie but i find something to grow up coming from inconsequential row casually I don't know specifically good night that was brilliant you have got one of you were doing something like with a fucking pieces yeah yet ok finally I'd like poison bouncer to him as well the voices you hear what happened in motion without of existence my whole solving it was everything was about am excited out Subtitle credit Ethan Pinto Bean
