All right. We're checking out the only game where the most comfortable bed
is made out of meat cleavers. Ah, it's Happy Wheels. I don't think I've ever had an axe stop me from achieving anything in a model flip. I always wondered if something was 50% impossible what the other 50% was? It's 50% Satan. So there is a win here
somewhere and it's up to me and the devil to find it. All right.
Well, there's part of a Florida man. In order to be a Florida man,
you have to embrace your inner pineapple. All right. The MLG sun is really
starting to get in the way. Hey, the holy melon. [chuckles] Oh, I made it to the cleavers. Oh, that's what happens
when you make it to the cleavers. I stood it straight up too. I thought that axe
was just there for decoration. I would-Ow. I was sorely mistaken. All right. Poorly drawn Satan. All right.
I'm kind of on the 50% impossible. Usually, if you just touch it,
that's good enough to get the win. Impressive with two Ms, I like it. Ah, where am I? Ow. What is-Ah. Before that happened,
I have to mention something, there was 100% a colon ending. We're getting the colon ending. All right. I don't care what this takes. Oh, 50% Satan, like truly standing up. Oh, I got demon plus, it's the-- It's like higher octane
than the normal demon. Gets better. Oh, my God. Ah, ah, ah. Where-where am I going? Oh. Oh. Ah, I got the colon. Oh, it's a real colon. [chuckles] Yay. You better call it. Yay. All right, now to actually win. [chuckles] After getting most things,
I'm pretty sure it's the rainbow rectum. All right, go ahead. Yay. I'm still trying to figure
out what raining blood does. There's no blood raining or anything. I got it fully standing up. To be fair, I've already died
inside of another man's colon. So I guess that's good enough for me. Yeah. Finally. This is called Rope Swing Robbery. Go. Okay. Uh, am I-oh, okay, I got it. So I have to drop. Oh. Okay. Ah. Ah. How? What, I have to dodge all harpoons too? All right. This is exciting. I don't think I've ever rope swing
into a bunch of harpoons before. Yay. Oh. And drop. Beauty. Okay. Headfirst. Nice. Ah. Uh, I feel like I was supposed
to go inside of that. Um, maybe I could still do this. Oh. Yeah, look at that. Whoa. Okay. This is working out quite well. Ah. I should have done something
with my life besides commit robberies, because committing
robberies is a great way to die. Okay. Got it. All right. So now it looks like you almost
have to drive this thing. So I'm missing all my-- Imagine having wheels. Imagine having feet. Okay. Here we go. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is happening. There it is. Yeah. Okay. Where am I going? Oh, I won. I got it. I committed the robbery, I guess. I'm not sure committing the robbery and giving up both of my feet
was a fair trade. This is called Death Maze Extreme. Apparently, there's all the different ways
to complete the maze, and you have to find out where you get based upon the type
of death you-you achieve, I don't know. There, watch. Let me just pull myself-- I want kind of an unusual one first off. So-ah. There we go. Ah. What we got down here? Ah. Oh. Um, I mean, I'm still kind of getting
somewhere, right? Oops. Ah, a new piercing. Right, so how about if I go-- Oh, no. Ah. Go this way. Okay. Down the map. Okay. How about if I go down this one? Lower heaven. [laughs] I love how it's like as opposed
to upper heaven. Okay, there. I wanted to see if I could go backwards. It's really tough because the way
you sit you lean forward. Oh, this is just the ouch again. You got a thrust backwards. See, and use your hips. Wait for it. Wait, there it is. Perfect. Eh, slide down here
and then all the way across. No. Almost got crushed by my own toilet there. Okay. Oh, there's several
different ways to go here and here. Nice. This is a huge maze. Is there like a win? Like is there-
is there an actual ending to this. Okay There we go. Ow. I guess we'll get to see
if this part was a giant lie. It's so long. Oh, it just stops me here. I think there's a way to actually win this. I'm not giving up until I find out. Ow. Okay. And, you know, I'm gonna go this way
all the way to the edge of the board. Yeah, that's hot. Nice. Keep going, keep going. And this way. Perfect. Ow. Oh. Oh, yeah, I want the hardest way to go. This is-- I heard-- Did you hear that? I'm pretty sure my foot
landed in some spikes. So we want, yes, is to go down here. Perfect. Very good. Land this way. Nice. Okay. Uh-huh. You made it to Australia man's home. It was just like the very bottom of the-- Oh, there's a waiting area. Okay, now I have-
now I have an actual goal to fulfill. Onward. Yeah, keep going. Yeah, keep going all the way. Yeah. Yeah, that's nice. Um, I kind of want to know what's up here,
though. Hold on. So you-you fall down and then that rockets
you upward, okay. Like this. There we go. And yeets, Not yet. And whoa, there's some kids-- Hold on. There's a bunch of size down there. There we go. Want that body
to be nice and straight Good, good. Good. Yeah. Whoa. Okay. Oh. Whoa. Cat water. I'm getting pretty
good at going this direction. Right now-- Ow. Oh. Oh. Oh. No. I feel like something
important is over the other way. Ow. Ah. Right now I've got
to be very careful because there is-- Yeah, right here, here, here. Okay, this is the way I haven't gone yet,
so stop. There we go. We're gonna go this way. I'm gonna get there. I'm gonna get this win,
I don't care what it takes. Okay. And down. Ow. Okay, at this point I have-
I've pretty much gone-Oh, there goes my helmet. This ain't gonna last. I have gone down every single
portion of this entire freaking board. And good, and stop. You know what? That's fine. Ow. Okay. Oh, here to here to here. Okay, I'm down a helmet and a leg. I'm almost sure this is the direction,
though. Uh. Uh. I like that my leg is just
waving to me over on the right. Listen up, left leg, you betrayed me,
we'll never be together again. All right, and flipping a dupe. Ouch. I almost died just then. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. There we go. Oh. Oh. Yes. [laughs] Tuna fish crap. [laughs] This is called The Race for Beer. Ready, go. Whoa. How-how did he-- Wait a minute. What kind of race is this? How am I supposed to get under that? [laughs] The race for [?] is on. [laughs] Right, go. Maybe backwards? Okay. Oh, oh, this does work I just can't-- Ready and yeah, yeah, yeah, there we go. Yeah. Oh, no. Ow. Ow. [chuckles] I've got to quit drinking. Go. Go under-- Ow. Ah. Ah. Uh-oh, what do I do now? Uh, can I get over this? Maybe there's something hidden down here. Do you know what's hidden down here? It's death. Oh, the beer at the end better be worth it. Go. Okay, stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, my god. Yes. Oh. Oh, what is all this? Oh. Oh. For alcoholism. Yeah. This is called-Ah, what is that? Oh, it's hideous. It's called Escape Orange. I didn't know an orange would be the thing
of nightmares. I'll never be able to sleep again. Actually, the orange doesn't really
seem that violent. Hold on,
because this-does the orange do anything? Oh, I think the orange died. Well, now I feel kind of bad. I-I treated the orange like it was some sort of evil entity, it's it's possible the orange would-
just wanted a friend. I think the orange is gone. Yeah. Ah. I love that if I wasn't giving my monologue I wouldn't have realized that was there,
and I probably would have died. That time has come once again
for a heart to go through the many trials that it-whoa-that it needs
in order to become a, uh, I really don't know
what a heart grows up into. A slightly larger engorged heart, probably an unhealthy disease alcoholistic heart that has gone
through multiple divorces and has watched its child
grow up only to detest it. Onward through many cannons, trying to get to the end
of life through a zipline. That's interesting. And yiddily yeet
down into the double beating backhanded across the face twice
by the wife that once loved it. It was a lie,
I thought we were gonna get transplanted, but there was no transplant. There is no happiness through this heart. It's gonna live and die alone. This is called the trick shot. Apparently, I must watch as the most incredible
trick shot that ever was occurs. Okay. And down the domino effect into the ball, knocking over all the alcoholism. Oh, I love the fact
that there was a pineapple involved. Small child gets yeeted through the air,
that's nice. Okay. And what's -. What has to make
it through the thumbnail hole? Oh, it's the-oh, okay. Oh, hold on. I gotta-I gotta catch up here. Soccer ball did it. Back through the dominoes again. Oh, that's a bunch of swords. Tom, no. This is called Truly Impossible. Uh, oh, I'm like, is this-- Oh, I can't even-- Oh, okay. So stay away from the red. Got it. Ah. I can kind of use my Oh. [laughs] Oh, it worked. All right. So, okay. Yeah. Red this way. All right, so let's turn. There we go. Oh yeah, this is-this is-okay. Same area. Nice, and red on this side. Oh yeah. Oh, we're starting to go kind of fast,
right in the middle. Oh, oh, ooh. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's so good. Ah. Wait, what happened? What happened to my antigravity? All right. So I guess I only have like a certain
amount of time, so, okay. So here. All right. And then off the wall. I'm dead. Okay. Jump, and then off the wall. There we go. And then up,
and it should be up the same way twice. I still don't know
what's allowing me to go upwards. Okay, so far so good, then this way
and then right in the middle. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's that's hot. Oh, come on. This is unique. Okay. Oh, yeah. There we go. Perfect. You want all that speed. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is happening. This is happening. Oh, it's happening. Come on, baby. Come on. Ow. What is this? What is this? Uh, all right. I-I don't-Okay. Can I go this way? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's fine. Oh. Oh, I'm running outta steam. Ah, my arms walk. Come on, baby. Come on, come on. Yeah. That's nice. Keep going. Rise up to heaven, my son, rise up Ow. All right. Apparently, the most important part
of my body in this is my feet. I don't know why. It's just the way it is, man. Okay. So as long as I keep my feet, I'm fine. All right. So like that and then dodge that one. Ow. Okay. I've done this enough now to know
it's completely feet-related, as weird as that sounds, so as long as I keep my feet, I can do this. I'm dead. Oh. Oh, I'm fine. Slow and steady gets violently stabbed. Come on, baby. Come on, go over to the-yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. All right. The butt can get stabbed. Just gotta watch out for the feet. Yeah. Yeah. This is-this is perfect. Okay. It's a lot less perfect now. Oh, no. No, Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Ow. Use my head. Yes, it's perfect. Over here. I still don't know what I'm doing. Okay. I have both feet. This is-this is an easy win right here. Win box. Get inside the win box. Get inside. Oh, my neck. Um, so technically I'm in the win box. This looks so unbelievably painful. I lost my helmet. That is not good. Now I can use my incredible neck
muscles to slowly back myself up. My-my one hope is that my body
doesn't rip away from my neck. I'm doing this literally
like one inch at a time. Hey, helmet, can you do me
a favor and work with me for once? This is why you never skip neck day. You don't seem to understand what I am prepared to go
through to get this win. Three forces aware. You know what would make me flip my table,
um, if when I finally get to the end here, the gravity turns back
on and there's no way for me to win. Ah, come on, baby. Come on. We're there. We're there. This is happening. Neck day, I swear to God,
head, if you leave my body, I will never forgive you. Oh, oh, oh. Yes. [chuckles] No, I can't even save the-- I can't even save it because it's too long. Well, I think this has taught all of us that you either don't skip
neck day or you die. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed
this episode of Happy Wheels. Until the next time stay foxy and much love.
