All right. We're
checking out the only game where the only excuse to miss leg day
is to be in prison for life. It's Gym or Jail. Say hello to Chaddicus Chadmore. This is the strangest combination
of themes in a video game I've ever heard. It's a horror gym game. This is going to be interesting
because I'm more scared of going to the gym
than I am of horror games. Give it to me, Chaddicus. I love that when he turned to me, his jaw flubbed
like a gigantic, angry gummy bear. Welcome to Guantanamo Gym. Once you start working out,
you can never leave. Like any good horror game, I have to ask
myself a very simple question first. Do I have any legs? The answer is no.
So I guess there is no leg day. Like, literally,
there's no leg day. Get it? I walk like a lethargic Gumby. I can- I can tell there's no leg day.
Like any good horror game, this begins as most do: By swiping your credit card to start. I feel like I would be
a terrible gym person because I saw that guy's card and
immediately I thought it was a Cheez-It. Yeah!!!
Wow. That was- that was like the most violent joining of any organization
I think I've ever done in my life. Now, if you've ever seen me play a horror game, you'll notice
this is a lot like Mr. Miyagi trimming a bonsai tree. It's very relaxing. *laughter*
The door seems locked. Well, I don't have claustrophobia,
so I really don't care. Can I leave?
Press E to interact. This would be amazing
if the game just closes. I don't want to exit right now. Don't you tell me what I want. I absolutely want to exit right now. All right. Well, over to the main hallway. This is like the cleanest gym
I've ever been in in my entire life. There's just a picture of feet on the wall.
*laughter* This is. This is amazing. It's too bad- Oh, you can interact with it.
That's a very muscular foot. I want to bring this home with me. All right, well, I'm
going to try every single door before I- Is that the bathroom? Did someone leave the faucet running? You realize whenever there gets to be,
like gigantic water bills, they take it out on the members, right? No dead bodies inside
any of these boxes, are there not? Because it's a horror game, just because I expect there to be dead
bodies inside of boxes. Caution, very hot water. Now, you know, on the channel,
whenever there's a sign that's telling you caution about something,
you always have to test how cautionary the sign is
with your tongue. Pipes should be connected in the shower.
Oh, I want to move them. All right, well, I guess
I'll just go cry alone and get tetanus. Remember that you lick everything. Yep. Tastes like rust. Taste like blood poisoning.
Alrighty... Ah, muscular head.
Well, just the back of the head. The occipital, if you will. This is the most beautiful picture
of a human head from behind. This dialog is some of the most pivotal
I've ever heard of in- Whoa. What's your blood type? This guy's like SUGARRRRRRRR!!! If I get too close,
I feel like I'm going to lose a shin. I don't make shins to lose.
I might as well get as close as possible. I would say this guy is practicing
to run away from the police, but there is no human being
who could ever catch him. His feet are moving so fast. It actually looks like an episode
of The Road Runner. Like he has the comic book Feet
where it's just one circle of death. How about you over here, Chef Boyardee? Is that- Is that- Did someone do, like,
breathing sounds for this guy? Is he asleep? This guy's doing curls in his sleep.
Hold on is one arm really big? Yes!!! I hoped it was true.
*laughter* Look at this! Oh no...
I mean, I guess I can interact. Maybe you should try
exercising your other arm. I mean, I don't want to tell you
how to do your- your- your reps or anything, but... but getting tired,
just looking at this guy. What else we got down here? Oh, how can I miss Neck Day? This is beautiful.
I will look like him one day. This guy has the tactical nuke of chins.
A lotta hallways in this place. I can run the toilet. Thank God. Oh, yeah.
Oh. I mean, I would say you missed the spot,
but you really didn't. This looks fantastic. There is no gym bathroom
that looks like this. This game is lying. Also, this is too well- I was going to say this is too well-lit. I love how the all these lights
are in the proper alignment. And there's this just one light over here
in the middle of nowhere. Interact, interact with one. This guy, you're doing a good job. Keep it up. He is. Oh, what? I thought he was a hunchback. He just has really broad shoulders. Oh, okay. I hear someone showering. This is awful. I thought it was the dude
cleaning the floor that was whistling. It's actually this guy. I'm not going to lie. You look like a human
piece of bow tie pasta. You're like a Quito version
of The Slender Man. Can I interact with you? Yep, sure can. I don't want to go
into the shower right now. I mean, I don't blame you,
considering there's a dude in there. Can I see you from the front? I'm so close. Can't quite get around him. It's this guy just really tall
or am I really short? This guy's hands are so big, he can pop
an entire Mini Cooper with them. I'll leave him to it. So what? What kind of gym is this? Ice cream. Pizza. Oh.
Uhhhhh.... oh, tacos. How come
the only place open is the pizza? I mean, to be fair, that is one of my favorite. Oh,
the sushi place is open, too. You look like a human version
of Jabba the Hutt. Can I interact with this thing? Did you just come to the gym to sit
and eat all day? Well, I would. Oh, really? I mean, I would, too. This place has a fantastic selection. Do you have to, like, look at me intently
while you chew? Oh, all right. We got some cupcakes, so-
I hate donuts... These are not donuts. First off, this character can no longer
be me because I absolutely love donuts. I don't ever want to hear that again. Also, you. You can
only interact with this one, so you can't really interact
with anything else over here. Look, there is no
interaction. I hate donuts. All right, how about. How about sushi? All right. Hate sushi, too...
Uncultured swine. Wow. Some king size low polygon
pizza over here. I'm not hungry now. All right, well,
I guess I just wasted my time. All right, time to start getting swole. How are you doing? Still murdering the ozone
with your feet. Very good. Okay, here we go. What do I do with this?
Oh, I have to go here. Can I just leave with this? I'm not finished yet. I'm not finished yet. Bro,
do you want this other one? Here, you can- You can-
Here. Hey, what does this taste like to you? He's like, futility. All right. Yeah. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Oh. Hey, hey. Okay, okay. Okay. All right. Is that it?
Did I win? in my mind the Chad Lord. All right, I guess I'll return it back
where I found it. Hang out. Oh, here we go. Yeah.
Got to look in the mirror. Oh, all righty. I'm ready. And boom! That's enough. I have to go home now. Are you just going to stay here all night?
That's dedication. If I was this dedicated as them,
I would absolutely look fantastic by back in the head. Week number two,
some high quality stuff going on. First, you got to give it
the old YEAHHH!!! Yeah, I crushed those that. That stand before me. You can't still can't
go into this thing. All right. I think that was supposed
to be a jump scare, I think that was supposed
to be a jump scare, but it was actually kind of amazing. That was the ghost of Chad Myers past. Is my bro still cleaning the bathroom? Isn't this where Chad is, where You didn't murder the guy that was cleaning
the bathroom, did you? Did you see a dude come through here? That was an eight foot nine,
three foot wide. Ahhhh... I see you angry, Chad Meister. I love it when, like the main antagonist
isn't hidden well in the game. He has the perfect face for it. seriously going to look at me
while I'm on the toilet? Yes, I am. Welcome to YouTube.
I wish I could open this door. Wonder if I can go next to him.
I don't want to go in the toilet. How about this one? I know you want to shower
with this dude yet? All right. I guess I'll go work out then. So the sad part is, he's
not even supernatural or anything. He's just a guy. He just looked at me
and then sat on the toilet. All right, guys. Actually, you're not looking as fast
as you were yesterday. Maybe it's just my imagination. Maybe the time space continuum around him
is slowing down. I don't know. All right, here we go. Yeah. Oh, I love vomiting up protein shakes. Oh, yeah. I'm going to take some X bars Where to time in it today. Okay. And we got a we've
got a mile per hour here. Yeah, ten miles an hour. 15, 25, 48, 48. Okay. 120, 370 miles an hour. 2560 miles an hour. 17,201 miles an hour. It was not already broke.
I'm like a genie or something, you know? A genie doesn't have any legs,
but they still are magical. That's me. So if I get on here,
he can actually lift the both of us. His he can lift the weight and me. I don't know if I can keep up with this
guy, but I'll give it a shot over here. Okay. Point five miles an hour. It feels pretty good. Oh, yeah. There he is. Fresh out of the bathroom? No. Press space to stand up. Well, what was I doing before? Heyyyyyy..... Anyone ever tell you that your face
is in the shape of a stalk of broccoli? Kind of amazing, actually. All right. Let's
see what you look like this week. Oh, wow. Nice. Yeah. Two weeks. That sounds absolutely normal. All right. I'm hungry. Finally. *spooky voice*
Where are you going, kid? I'm going to check on Al Cappuccino. He's in the food court. If I don't turn all the way. Oh, man. I was going to say, I think it's programed
based upon how far you turn. So I was going to try and not turn all the way-
Is he back up- Really??? Hey. Hey, you can't kill me. I'm too stupid to die. All right, well, I'm going to go get a slice of pizza. I'm going to go get a slice of diet pizza. See? Is he going to do. Ha ha ha ha. Pull it. Hey, hey, ho! Hey!
Yeah, he's still here. All right. Special prize paid. Wow. All right. Well,
I thought I would get a slice, but apparently they're
just giving away the whole pie. I mean, if you think about it,
it's actually brilliant because then people keep
having to come back to the gym. I never thought about it that way. Oh. Oh. Oh, Atticus, don't
let me eat all this before he sits down. I'm going to eat as much as a vegetable. All right. Come on, now. Uh, the strange man
is offering you some drugs. Would you like to accept it? Like,
what is it like? Penicillin, amoxicillin? Does it end in cillin? Because right now it just
looks like a jellyfish... Ah, whatever. All righty. Oh, I am going to heaven now. And that is why you shouldn't
use drugs. Where am I? Am I inside the boiler room? Are you going to make me clean
the entire gym now? Oh. I love how I wake up. And they just planted a battle ax for me,
like they knew I would have to eventually get involved in Mortal Kombat.
Protein!!! Uh, yeah. Do you know what I'm going
to do with this? I'm going to train
just like Rocky did in Rocky five. Or maybe it was Rocky Four.
It was the one where as he was chopping wood. Okay. Oh, Dr. Chad Moore. Ah, we've got the security
cameras over here. Well, either the bathroom's finally clean
or you killed the janitor. Makes me kind of sad, actually. Oh, Ky, I love that.
I can't actually swing this thing. It's just basically like a prop also who didn't line up the
walls correctly over here. If I bought this building
and then built a gym inside of it, and then I found this wall,
I would go to my landlord and I would hack him up with this axe.
He'd be like, "Why did you do this to me?" Like every once in a while,
like there's one wall over here that does it, too.
Alright. Two options the left to the right. Any time I go to the left in any game,
I always end up getting murdered. That means this is
the exact direction we're going. So did I lose a lot of weight just then? I feel like I just got my vision checked. The eyes were so bright. Do, I at least keep the key. Nope.
You don't. You got to get it every time. All right. Guess we're going to the right. I told you every time I go to the left. Every single time. *demonic roars*
Well, kind of wonder what that is. Actually, I need to know
if we're going to go see it. Like a really angry family guy,
you know, Peter Griffin. All right, Rocky four,
but we're on a time crunch. Let's do this and boom. Check that out. I'm moving really fast. Is it the protein shake doing this?
Wow. That is why, you know,
skipping leg. It is amazing. I mean, I'm I'm going
I'm like a rocket ship. How many boards did you use? What did you go to? What did you do, go to every Lowes in the
tri-state area to keep me- Really? Oh. That's actually infuriating! This guy is single
handedly driving the price of lumber up. I thought you had to be,
you know, like you had to aim a little bit in order to chop these these things down.
You totally don't. You can just, like, be somewhere in the
general vicinity, and it works just fine. I can hear his protein swilling
voice behind me, waiting, watching. Guess what? I don't have to worry about skipping leg day
because I don't have legs. So can I. Like, look behind me?
Can I leave? I just go back out and get murdered. Oh, you actually can't leave.
All right, fair enough. I love how the music is
still here, you know? I mean, it's still the music. Like, I'm being chased and I could get murdered at any time,
but realistically, I could just sleep up here
for the night. Down here? No, nothing.
What..... Was that a bunch of strawberry
jam hanging from his mouth? Pretty sure that was strawberry jam. This is what I get for joining a gym. Not today, Satan. *laughter*
Oh. Now I'll beat you with a flyswatter. the FBI kicks in and arrests you
because of killing an innocent monster. Well, apparently, two weeks at the gym
will get you 20 years in prison. Anyway folks, hope you enjoyed this episode of Gym or Jail.
Until next time: Stay foxy and much love.
