All right, we're checking out
the only game where the most important element
on the periodic table is pain. It's Happy Wheels.
Wow, death. I survived. When I literally am still alive
after getting hit with like 30 mines to the head,
it's gonna be a good day. Okay, so obviously,
the plan here is to go for the win. The issue is it's basically impossible
because first you have to unlock it and then you have to like,
you know, defy gravity. I also like how there's GSP homework
and Almonds. Oh, hey.
[chuckles] Ow. [screams] What happened? Hi, you're in daycare. Ow.
[beeps] Oh, daycare is everything
I thought it would be. All right, we have a floating rock. Oh, I got water.
I haven't drank water for years. It's alcohol only. Great. Okay.
Uh, noob. Yeah. All right, let me see
if I can unlock the win. How much-- Like, where do you
actually need to go to unlock the win? Do I have to get past your thirsty? Oh, okay. I just have to touch
the top of it. Well, that's lucky. I wanna know what my thirst does for me,
besides get me killed. Come on, baby.
There it is. Yeah, you're thirsty.
Oh, nothing, I'm just thirsty. So magic twice.
That's good. All right. All right, there's the almonds.
[screams] What is that? Oh, hey, I got GSB homework
with my heart. That's like Celine Dion level
GSB homework. All right, there's the water again. Okay, so first things first,
you gotta open up the win [sighs] which is agony in itself. All right, maybe opening up the win
is a little bit harder than I thought it would be. I may have just done it the first time
by accident. There we go. Haha. Okay. Okay.
Now what you don't want is Santa pain. Actually, everything seems to be pain
on this board. Oh, that's Santa pain.
So really? Ow. I won.
How? I need to mention something real quick,
I won. I don't know how, but it counts. This is called rope swing XL,
version 1. Wow, there's a lot here.
Uh, press space and Z, right? So-- Oh wait,
can I choose the different--? Oh. Okay, so there's an easy one this way,
a medium this way, and a hard one this way. Okay. Well, I guess let's start
with the easy one. Yep. [laughs]
I was not ready. All righty,
let's try and fail a little less. There we go. All right, nice.
Hold space, you got it. Oh, yeah.
Oh, we're-- Wow, this is incredible. Okay.
And press down, all right. Oh, God. Okay. Jump, grab, swing, flip,
down, hold space. I think I'm gonna lose my legs here. Ow, whoa. Oh, God. Okay, the easy is, uh,
it's not as easy as I would've liked. [laughs] Oh, God.
What is this board? Oh, yeah. Ahh.
The heck a rope flip. Mm.
Oh yeah, there we are. Okay, got it.
All right, what else you got for me? Okay, and oh,
I have to load myself into the cannon. Okay, luckily there's, uh,
[chuckles] like bumper bars. It's like when you're bowling.
Here you go. [grunts]
One leg is all you need. I can't get into the cannon.
There we go. Okay and yay.
Whee. Oh [screams] God. That's tough board.
Okay, number two. And yeets into the-
into the-the cannon. Yes, nice and smooth,
like you just failed to-- [screams]
Well, this is bad. [screams] Being violated
by a giant Fruit Roll-Up. Okay. Now I may have lost a leg,
don't worry about that, it'll be fine. Okay, perfect. All right, now into the cannon,
do a flip. Oh God.
Oh, not-not head first. Not-- Oh, God.
Oh, I'm dead. I'm so dead.
Well, you know what, maybe I'm not. Maybe-maybe this is-
maybe I'm just-- Whoa. Oh, that worked out incredibly well. Uh, let go?
And yay. My head exploded.
That was easy? Oh, boy. Okay. Oh, wow. All right. And then yep, okay.
And then yep. Oh yeah.
Oh, we running this. Oh, crap. Um, don't actually know
how I'm gonna grab that, 'cause I'm not really
facing the right direction. All right. Let's, uh-- I'm just gonna try and--
Right, here's what we're gonna do. Oh, oh, okay.
Oh, this is fine. Oh yeah, okay.
It just lead you down. Sweet. Ow.
Oof. My arms. [screams] Whoa. Is it okay that I'm going feet first? [screams] This is the most elaborate
rope swing I've ever played. It's incredible. Okay.
Number two and I'm inside. No. Oh, I'm-I'm invincible now. I actually can't die,
but I also can't complete the board. I just got slapped in the face
with my own arms. All right, here we go, medium,
and down, and flip, and boop, and I'm dead.
Grab, whoa. Oh, no, I'm gonna lose an arm.
Oh, there's no way out of this. Uh-oh. Um, maybe my arm can get free.
[screams] Medium they said. Okay, and down,
and whoa, my arms. God, what is the hard one like? Uh, ow, uh, yo. Okay, I've got all my arms,
we're doing fine. Now, I'm gonna do this. Perfect, and what in the world? Oh no, it's timed.
Well, it's a problem. Uh, check that out.
Whew. All right, press down. [screams] Okay, so here's
what we're gonna do and flip, grab. Nice.
Okay, perfect. And then yeets.
Here we go. Now we need to make sure-- Not yet.
Not yet. Now. Oh, God.
Got it. Yeah. Okay.
Now for the final one. All right, hard it is. I screwed that up.
Getting up to this rope is really hard. All right, and into the cannon.
Oh, God, we're going headfirst. Why are there landmines
just chilling out by the cannon? This is very concern-- [screams]
Do I let go or--? All right, I guess I'm just
gonna trust the board creator. Better not betray me.
Uh-oh. Whoa. [screams] Ouch. I was indeed betrayed. Hey.
Oh, I'm getting good at this. All right.
Now feet first. Feet. [chuckles] Okay. You know what?
Yeah, sure, that's fine too. [groans] Ow.
All right. So now, make for it, grab,
and right about here. Whoa, whoa.
Almost lost my skull. How are you supposed to do this?
What is this? Oh, okay. Got it. Yeah. Ah, wahah.
Yeah. Ow, my leg. Yes, I did it the hard way too.
I did it all the ways. This is called trust. Okay, don't move.
So I had to trust it. Oh, wow. Don't worry,
I won't finish you off this time. Pogo one one time,
and then press Z. There we are. [screams] Whoa. Uh, I think I may have gotten lied to. I don't think I can win
while I'm dead. All right, let's try this one more time.
All right, so trust, don't move, sticks to landing,
comes to a grinding halt. All right, pogo one time, then press Z.
So maybe if I do like- maybe like this. Oh, that's-that's literally it. Whoa.
Oh, I think I'm gonna win both ways. Hold on, wait for it,
wait for it, wait for it. Ready? Ready? Ready? Ready? Ow. [chuckles]
I'm trying something else real quick. Ready?
Hold on. I just wanna see how far--
There we go. I wanted to see
if I could get the other win. This is called graves afterlife.
Oh, I'm-I'm actually biking on a cloud. How did I manage to get here?
You mean heaven? I don't know.
All right, there's a big cloud. A lot of surface area up here. Whoa, ow, that's more like-- [screams]
[laughs] Oh, God. Okay, I got it.
All right, yeah. I start at heaven,
but then we fall down to hell. Very good. Okay.
[grunts] So, ah, okay and this is gonna be tough. I've gotta find a way
to keep all my limbs. Oh, hold on, I got it. [screams] I can kind of like juggle my way
to slow down my fall? So that's what I'll do, so--
There we go, perfect. Okay. So now we need all the-- What is this?
Is it just an angry burning tree? It's actually kinda awesome. Here we go.
Whoa. Ow. Not gonna lie,
my afterlife is really painful. Okay, uh, whoa, yeets. Hmm, so that one's
just all about timing. Actually, it's not even timing,
it's just luck. There's that timing.
Really? Actually, I'll get to see
what's comes later in the board here. All right.
What? Oh, I'm-I'm in. I did it.
Oh my God, I did it. [laughs] I actually did it. I did it while I was dead. Well, considering it's my afterlife,
that actually makes perfect sense. I'm saving this, I did it while dead. This is called, Would You Rather? Why do I feel like both of my answers
like no matter what I'd rather do, I'm gonna end up dying?
What is this? Would you rather be rich but sad,
be poor but happy? Considering how masochistic I am,
rich and sad. Okay. Live without electronics,
live without chicken. Joke's on you,
my favorite food is pizza. Boom. Oh wait, hold on.
Yeah, live without chicken. I almost lived without electronics. [screams]
I love how that choice cost me a leg. Save the world but nobody knows,
save the world but die in the process. I don't mind if nobody knows.
It's probably better that way. I do need the world to stay around
because it's where I keep all my stuff, and I need to live too because I'm-
that's also where-- I'm-I'm-I'm the one who keeps
all my stuff, so we're going this way. Die right now or be immortal. Why do I feel like if I pick
die right now, I'll actually die. Eh, I'd go with immortality. [ominous music]
That was a real thing. I have a feeling I would have died
if I went there. I have to find powers.
Continue. Uh, have your dream job,
have your dream body. [laughs] I think dream job. Actually, I played Happy Wheels
for a living, it doesn't get much better than that,
or does it? Be able to teleport, be able to go inv--
Did you see that thing down there? Hold on.
Oh now, it's gone. You see the horrible little face
that's chilling out in the bottom? Absolutely teleport, all day. There it is, did you see it?
Ow. Hey, before you click
the white button, I just want to say
thank you all for playing. Oh, it's me.
Hell or heaven, yay. Thank you, Chillan_lika_villain.
[chuckles] It's a beautiful day at the beach,
or so it seems. This has an entire lead in
somewhere near Sarasota, Florida. Oh, it's like my hometown. This board has two things I love already,
a trashcan and pasta. I love Alfredo sauce.
Not really sure. Oh, hold on before I do anything,
all right, can't leave. Huh, of course, you can never
leave Florida once you're there. That's the trashcan.
[explosion] What was that?
What was that random explosion? Eh, it's Florida, it could be anything.
This is-- Look at how well-drawn this is. Stay off the dunes.
I mean, they're in my way. Do the dunes come to life
and eat me and my son? Enemy 1, angry lady.
Is this you can like teleport at a--? Aha. Okay, so first things first,
we need to approach her wiener up. Boom.
Oh, she is floating. She is- she levitated right up to heaven.
She's still floating. Well, this is-
this is unbelievably concerning. Okay. All right, do I need to jump the dune?
I'm guessing I need to jump this. Woop, perfect.
Stay out of the tide pools. Clearly, I'm just not doing anything
they tell me to do in this board. We make our own rules here.
Tide pool man. Does he think he's gonna fix
my washing machine? All right, tide pool man.
Boom, got him. All right, tide pool man is down,
and yeets out of the way. Oh wow, when you- when you win, yeah,
they just- they just get sucked back up. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa whoa. Stop it. Tide pool man, you're- you've been beaten.
Give up. [chuckles] I can't get over him.
[grunts] There we go. You know, something I noticed,
uh, about this beach, there's no one actually here
but opponents. Like what happened
to the regular individuals? They're all dead, aren't they? I should have known,
they lost the tide pool man. [groans] How many enemies are there? Also, there's something
I have to mention real quick, this is the cleanest beach
I've ever been on. It says, please clean up the trash. Considering how much fighting to the death
goes on here, the streets are incredibly clean. All right, why is there
a random brain on the--? [screams] Huh?
Ouch. All right, this-this board
just went to a thousand. You got it. Onward son. Stay off the dunes, my ass. Bam, get out of my way, lady. Out of the way, tide pool man. All right. Right, yeah, yeah.
He has a- he has a hit point bar. All right, so watch out. Oh, it's like-
it's like playing Final Fantasy. So do I--?
How do I--? [grunts] Oh, well, that ain't good. Uh, how do I- how do I beat his-
his telekinetic powers? I don't know what to do.
I shuck this giblet at you? Whoa, I'm incredible. [laughs]
God, what is this pouring? Ah, every Floridian's favorite weed,
snake grass. I also have to mention,
this is realistic. On any beach, there's always some Chad
who ends up parking his van or truck way out in the sand
and needs to get towed. Yes, I did it. I'm the only person
to have ever made it out of Florida. Why?
Because the internet. [chuckles] Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed
this episode of Happy Wheels. Till next time.
Stay foxy and much love.
