What's The WORST Thing Your MOM CAUGHT You Doing

like the video and subscribe right now and cerberus Dogo will protect your room ass credit redditors what's the worst thing your mom caught you doing as a kid so I was in my room bending over to put dirty clothes into the laundry basket when my dog jumps onto my back and starts humping me I get pissed and decide duck this I'm gonna show him who's the leader of this pack so I whip him around and pretend to hump him from behind to freak him out and establish dominance well about three seconds into this my mom walks into my room asking for my dirty laundry the look on her face was something like horror mixed with sadness as she slowly backed away explaining my dominance theory did not help edit a few people have said that I've copied this from somewhere I can honestly and sheepishly say that it is 100% true and was incredibly awkward for me and probably for the dog too my dog had the same tendencies I took him in to get him fixed really broken so to speak I ran into a girl who told a very similar story to yours she had a German Shepherd who mounted her just as she was naked bending over the tub I asked her if she was going to get a dog fixed too she said oh no I'm just here to get his nails trimmed I'm playing with Lego as a kid my brother and I used to build vast armies of Lego soldiers war machines fighters tanks etc everything was a war with lasers bombs etc well one day little young me decides that there has to be a better way I think why go to the trouble have having my army fight the opposing force why not just round them all up and dispose of them in some organized fashion so I took one of those little Lego platforms and builder vicinity on it it had a wall around it Sumeria where newly arriving enemy troops would be killed and then their bodies hauled off to be vaporized with lasers it even had a little bit where the tiny Lego guy operating the machinery could stand as I was building it for some reason my older brother thought it was a bad idea I proudly said I was going to show to our mall and he really thought that was a bad idea I ran out the door anyway I found her and proudly explained the workings of my new creations she was shall we say less than pleased once she saw what it was she immediately yelled at me grounded me and smashed the creation into 100 pieces TLDR created a death camp out of Lego and showed my more duck my life hey people like this end up military tactician 'he's best TLDR i've seen on reddit for a while when I was about six I had been exposed to pornography for the first time I quickly went over to my best friend's house where we built a fort out of chairs and sheets and proceeded to gangbang a big stuffed alligator with our six year old junk out and everything his mum walked in on this and gave us the talk the sometimes two boys and an alligator loved each other very much talk I ran away from home when I was 14 I but I was a paperboy at the time and it should my satchel full of newspapers in the woods when I didn't come home folks called the cops a search turned up my bag in the woods and it was assumed that I had been kidnapped it was ugly went home a couple days later to a fiasco in the house weird combination of emotions at home for quite some time after that probably the worst thing I have done to anyone in my entire life I now glia lives oh yeah I now have kids so I know exactly how they feel karma is circular I tried running away once I remember three hours in I had to [ __ ] so badly that I ran home like I had a carrot up my ass mum won that battle so when I was really little maybe around five I used to take pieces of chalk and stick them in my butt crack after a while the chalk would start to sting and for some reason I liked it one day college did good three pieces in between my cheeks and went about my daily activities at some point while playing I broke avars and since my dad wasn't home my mom decided to give me a little spanking she pulled down my pants bent me over her knee gave me a tender one on the rear I braced for the second impact but it never came I looked around to see my mom staring at the ground where two of my butt jokes had landed eventually I got up and ran to my room as my mom continued to Submission 'less for a number of minutes I never had anything about it after that that I stopped the strange practice but Yorke's it just rolls off the tongue she probably chalked it up to childhood curiosity why the hell won't parents ask their kids about their weird rituals I did some weird [ __ ] as a kid too but God even I want to know what compelled you to clench sticks of chalk in your butt you had me laughing from the first sentence mr. coagulated penis PS your as tag is chalk ass I was in my room after I showered and took off my towel me standing there naked found that my nuts were a bitter Chee how might I fix this problem I looked to the ground and found a Lego I pulled out my sack and began to scratch my nut with the corner of the Lego all of the sudden my mom bursts in and stand staring at me butt-ass naked scratching my nut with a Lego okay he said and walked out my nuts were a bitter Chee how might I fix this problem scratching them with one of your hands when I was about 12 my friend and I both boys had a routine of picking up guys on the Internet basically we'd go into a chat room claiming to be a cute perky 19 year old and find a guy in our area we'd sent in the picture of us that we'd pull from hot-or-not and talk super seductively eventually we'd give him our number and we'd talk on the phone with him and suggest he come over and we'd ask him to pick up a pizza or something when he'd arrived we'd have one of us standing on the balcony with water balloons usually filled with something besides water and the other one of us would answer the door the guy answering the door would pull it open grab the pizza and slam it shut meanwhile while the guys to bed unfounded realizing he'd just gotten conned out of a pizza by some kid he'd start getting pelted with all kinds of [ __ ] in retrospect this was pretty mean to them this usually worked fine until one occasion when the guy apparently didn't appreciate getting mayonnaise dumped on his car and actually called my friend's parents the next day using the house phone may not have been the best idea but we really didn't have any other options I remember hearing my friend's dad on the phone screaming you came over to try to sleep with my prepubescent son what the sick duck are you anyway while he was pissed as hell at the creep he did get furious at us too and told my parents wasn't allowed to hang out with that friend for like a year after that in retrospect those guys must have been pretty ducking horny to believe what we were saying I mean we were like 12 I guess estefy really impairs your judgment TLDR at age 12 seduced guys in order to get pizza oh my god you as a 12 year old was a real genius no way in hell could I have pulled something like that off enjoy your new resdac seduced guys for pizza hot or not 12 duck my life zipping my little brother into a plastic bag one of those clear ones that blankets are sold in edit he was fine the doc said the brain damage was minimal he's still alive right was about six years old in my bedroom with the girl from next door of the same age was exploring each other's bodies mom came in just as I was about to get a bit of cunnilingus going obviously didn't know what that was at the time just wanted to taste I guess my mum went mad at me and said the old wait until your dad gets home well he got home and told me off with the biggest grin ever on his face your dad is awesome your dad is creepy that was there thank god he's not gay grin bro dad as a bro my mom walked in on me shooting up heroin needle in arm belt in my mouth duck one of the most shameful moments in a life filled with bad [ __ ] sober seven years now edit for those interested despite the shame I went upstairs and shot up again to make it all go away I continued to use for six more months I went to treatment kept relapsing in treatment and even and etics friend brought drugs in his underwear I didn't want to relax but I could not stand living sober it made me want to rip my skin off I was getting exposed to a lot of AAA /na and the stuff they were saying made a lot of sense my insanity and actions finally made sense to me the people seemed to know exactly how I felt and I could tell there had lived the same pain self-inflicted mostly I had they also seemed to have a solution and I was ducking out of options so I just dived in headfirst today I have a college degree have worked as an EMT and run a small production company in the fall will be attending an Ivy League physician assistant master's program pretty amazing [ __ ] when I first got sober I had a hard time even talking simple addition was not something I was capable of hey /na have helped me live in way that makes being sober worth doing for me also I'm married edit - if you're curious to hear more about what pre sobriety's / early sobriety is like download this guy telling his story it will blow your mind up vote for sobriety good for you she caught me trying on her clothes and underwear huge what the duck moment I'm Straight But was a curious boy weirdest a boner that one your username suggests you shouldn't have been so easily caught I didn't get caught for doing this until years later I was about 11 and my best friend was about 12 he had downloaded the Anarchist Cookbook as you do and we decided to make some napalm as his father's wooden shed we told his mom we were going outside to mess around what we used to call playing we went into his dad's shed and proceeded to mix styrofoam with petrol there was a hole in the container we were mixing it in so the petrol began to spill all over the workbench about 6 feet long I turned to my friend impatiently holding a lighter and said hey Owen do you think this is flammable with which I proceeded to light the petrol which was now dust all over the workbench of course the whole bench went up with flames 6 feet wide and 6 feet tall oh and then tried to put it out with a rack by batting the flames but the rack got even more covered in petrol which thus caught fire too I was barely able to breathe I was laughing so hard he ran outside and turned on the tap which was connected to the hose but the tap was only trickling water so he told me to turn it up while he ran back inside to put the fire out I turned it the wrong way by accident with which he screamed the other way I did and we put the fire out the workbench was completely blackened his dad never noticed this will probably get buried but most people who we tell this story to enjoyed it then one time I was being babysat by an old woman from my apartment I must have just discovered the pleasures of stimulating myself that I hadn't yet been introduced to the hand technique so what did I do I used to hump things so I turn on some black TV channel and the shocked babysitter asks if my mom lets me view these types of things I say of course him continue watching then I take my dick out and begin grinding on the big bed right in front of her I'll never know if she told my mom thrash of itch hey mom did a babysitter of mine ever tell you about the time I whipped out my dick and started grinding the bed in front of her mother nope thrash a [ __ ] oh okay cool cause that world been embarrassing stuffing toilet paper down my underwear because I was always busy playing video games and could never be asked to go to the bathroom so I always ended up [ __ ] myself instead of changing underwear I'd create a new layer of tissue by using toilet paper of all the twisted stuff on this page this one made me sick as to my stomach Congrats sir Bram Elam you have been visited by bacon dog oh you will be blessed with the crispy and mouth-watering bacon but only if you comment you look tasty papa [Music]

Channel: TZ Entertainment

Views: 637,374

Rating: 4.9580917 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, dankify, story, stories, tz reddit, toadfilms, best of, updoot, worst, caught doing, mom

Id: 5qekpgwm07I

Length: 13min 1sec (781 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 08 2019