What Happened When You Got Caught Masturbating? - Reddit Stories - r/AskReddit Top Posts

r / arse credit those who have been caught masturbating or having sex how did you handle that what happened my room maid walked in on me jerking it so I just kept doing it he left immediately but you know damage already done might as well make it worth the awkward moment you if you quickly stop as soon as he sees you that just makes you the guy who got caught jerking off if you keep going about your business that just makes him there pervert watching you masturbate my fiance's sister walked in on us we both looked at her as I continued clapping cheeks and she slowly backed out and shut the door no one has spoken of it since all you had to do was to ask living in the barracks room maid walked in on me jerkin told him get out or get weird ha ha ha that's cold I put a rubber glove in couch cushions with some lotion my brother caught me mid stroke I was like 12 13 he still brings it up couch fricker edit I'm 32 plot twist invented the fleshlight and is now a millionaire and a couch Fricker found his brother mine always knocked and then immediately came in anyways my father would dry and sneak up on the door then burst in trying to I catch me doing something eventually I heard him stalking down the hall so I took off my pants and faced the door meat in hand and waited is this what you wanted I yelled as he hastily closed the door and ran away never had that issue again I started yelling and tantruming at my mother really allowed to get out of my room hoping my screaming would cover up the sound of the vibrator when she had swung open the door I had dropped it and it seemed like if I started feeling around between my legs or it it would once again just look like I was pleasuring myself under the covers I really couldn't win that one should have played pom at max volume to mask the sound of the vibrator outstanding move once my wife caught me masturbating and just said whatever dude you do you and I was like yeah that's exactly what's happening right now and she just went into the next room but I was kind of proud of myself for that response hey wife care to join us was going down on my girlfriend she was basically in the doggy position facing their door then the door flew open its was my roommates boyfriend who didn't know we were home and wanted to borrow my playstation controller he very quickly closed the door and apologized and apologized more and kept apologizing and explaining what he was trying to do and how bad he felt until I had to tell him that yes his apology is accepted and that I'm kind of busy so if he could stop interrupting that would be great it's rude to talk with your mouth full one morning when I was like 14 I was extremely uncomfortable in my bed as I was adjusting my body and the blanket my mom busted my door open to wake me up for a doctor's appointment she thought I was masturbating she slammed my door shut and started screaming I'm sorry this woke everyone up in the house and of course she told my stepdad then he wanted to talk dot dot dot dot and at some point my cousin's found out geez talk about embarrassing I wasn't even jerking FF and that's what bleeps me off the most my family still brings this up today as jokes they don't believe that I wasn't jerking it shaking my head I'm sorry for your loss I wasn't masturbating I was cleaning my balls and it went off my mom walked in on me having sex with my now husband luckily there was a pillow right there so I covered up before the door was completely open I guess she was in shock or something because she there and then started asking some random question I asked her to close the door long I mean what else can you do in that situation get out or get weird my mum was upstairs vacuuming once and I was in the living room and 13 thinkin safe and start pulling the meat off myself hear footsteps coming downstairs so put the boyo away my mum walks in the living room looks me dead ass in the face starts laughing and says you're playing with your Mickey then saunters off into the kitchen for coffee no idea how she knew what I was doing no idea why she laughed and straight-up asked if I was playing with my ding-dong went to my room and didn't come out for three days yup plane with your Mickey it was a hotel party and the hotel room had sort of two separate rooms that were connected everyone was in one room partying myself and the girlfriend snuck into the other room and started getting busy midway through my buddy just barges in looks at me says you're doing it wrong grabs a pillow and leaves I was laughing too hard from the comedic timing on his comment to keep going overall not a bad time what were you doing wrong according to him it I was at my boyfriend's house and he had just started going down on me he heard his mum opening the door and I hadn't so he jumped to the top of the bed only thing is he left my dress up so he was laying at the top of the bed but she still got to see my dress up and legs spread open she just said oh goodness and walked out I asked why he couldn't put my dress down and he said every man for himself I couldn't even make eye contact with his mum after was with a lady in a back room when my brother started opening the door I shout out new OOP he repeats back new and closes the door and leaves mother walked in on my girlfriend and I in high school never have I so quickly grabbed a blanket to hide our shame my mother somehow had no clue and decided it was a good time to start talking about dinner while I was trying to talk her out of the room took 30 seconds but it felt like an hour now she knew why do you think she made dragged it out someone I know accidentally somehow called 911 from his Apple watch while masturbating so the operator had to listen to that and the police had to stop by because of his session among my friend group we now refer to masturbation as calling 911 help call 9-1-1 you on it starts furiously masturbating oh my god this happened about four years ago when we were getting our bathroom remodeled it was a friend of the family who was doing the work so he had a key and could come and go even when we weren't home if there was a car in the driveway he would always knock instead of using the key on this particular day my husband's car was in the shop and so he took mine to work I was home alone that day I was laying on the couch reading some smut and using my vibe when the door opens and remodeler walks in I grabbed the Afghan off the back of the couch and threw it over Milo aha he went straight into the bathroom I ran to our bedroom and we never spoke about it I've seen a video of that same context before getting it on in our room on the cruise ship dot dot dot housekeeping knocks once which we didn't hear the door opens and now we are staring at each other wide-eyed she turns around and closes door we continue while cracking up she was super friendly all week long I swear to God why do they even bother knocking they just walk in immediately after knocking just in time to see me running naked to the door well when I was 13 I was watching just general straight porn and I was using a really dodgy wire for my headset so late at night I plucked my headset in and started to watch it when the audio screamed out of my phone as the chick was orgasmic however my parents didn't come in my room after a few minutes so I thought nothing of it until I saw my dad at my door leaning against the wall I went pure ed and quickly deleted that at once he grabbed my phone from me he said to me I'm not shaming you for watching Pam I'm shaming you for not being able to watch porn and hide if they never caught me again after that I'm taking a mental note to use that it's a really healthy response your dad must really love you sounds like his dad really loves Pam too not necessarily masturbating but when I was about 12 I for some reason starting simulating bleeping a pillow as if it was a girl on my bed thingies my mum was in another part of the house vacuuming and unbeknownst to me left the vacuum on while she came into my room to ask for something I noticed her standing in the doorway quite horrified and out of desperation came up with the excuse that I was practicing front flips of course so I subsequently ended up doing a somersault over the edge of my bed and almost breaking my back not my story but my cousins he was dating girl that his mum didn't really approve of they were pretty religious so premarital sex was a big no-no and my cousins too lived at home with his parents my aunt was pretty sure they were having sex and started trying to catch them at it well one day they were doing the deed on the floor of his walk-in closet in my aren't walked in on them potentially on purpose depends on who tells their story and my cousin just stood up pushed my arm back out of the closet and asked did you find what you were looking for then shut the door in her face and went back to sexy time that story gets told scandalously or proudly depending on which cousin you hear it from that's glorious one-night stand when young guy was at uni and living with mates in the morning we were at it I was on top then a knock at the door as it opened laid as flat as I could with blanket over my ed a roomed mate and his mum and aunt were wanting to plan an activity for the day the two guys were from the same town so these were parent figures from kindergarten all went smoothly till the guy jumped on top of his mate shouting get up you there's a girl there hilarious now mortifying at the time I was 16 had my girlfriend over for the night my mother did her usual rapid whip open of my bedroom door while we were in the middle of things in my bed covered by the sheets she just started belly laughing very loudly then turned around walked out and closed the door it was an effective technique and I'm pretty sure she knew exactly what she was doing was that killed it for both of us for the rest of the night she's never said another word about it and it's been 15 years since it happened one night in the middle of a heavy snowstorm me and a girl I was hooking up with got frisky in the car so I stopped in a large parking lot for a park near her place I parked facing a large snowbank and noticed other cars scattered around with people inside obviously either hooking up or smoking up so mid bang in the backseat I'm going at it missionary when suddenly these headlights fire into the back window I look up and there's a security SUV parked right behind me maybe a meter from my bumper I'm noticing cars are leaving the lot and start freaking out this guy has us pinched between the snowbank and his car I jump out half naked from the backseat get in the front and start to maneuver my car out of the situation ever see the scene in Austin Powers where he tries to u-turn the golf cart in the tunnel yeah it was like that for ten minutes the SUV never tried to stop me and the security guy never got out after 10 minutes of back-and-forth trying to reposition the car we pulled away trickiest longest 10 minutes ever the security guys must have been laughing their bleeps off the time I lost my virginity was with my ex I was driving her home and we decided to stop in my name who died lived in a really rural secluded neighborhood and get funky in the backseat we go in back and start getting down to business a few minutes into it and I saw headlights shine on us from behind we stopped and paused while the car behind us stayed there for a minute before driving off thinking we were in the clear we started going at it again things were going well until another pair of headlights shone in from behind us I look up and to my horror a police car sat parked behind us on the little country road we got dressed and a female cop walked up to the back door and knocked I opened the window and the officer told me to step out there I stand fly down shirt backwards and inside out in the cold night air another officer gets out of the cop car and goes man what's with all these folks having sex tonight there's a story that that I desperately want to know the first officer laughs and goes are you the only two in the car I laughed what did she think we invited our friends to watch the report we got said that there were four or five people having sex in the back of the car apparently the first set of headlights had been an off-duty officer that lived in my neighborhood he thought there was a bleeping orgy going on in my car so he called it in to this day I think about what a weird night that was TL DR lost my virginity in the back of a car and got the cops call on us by someone who thought we were having an orgy somehow the last number of your like is who powers you get comment who you got [Music]

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Id: ihsxxCj28Dc

Length: 15min 10sec (910 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 20 2019