Choose a Superpower, But First Reply Chooses Side Effect

like the video and subscribe right now and you'll help the dog go to reach speed of light you can choose a superpower but the first person to reply can choose a side-effect what superpower do you choose the ability to reply to my own comment okay but you have mind-control he's too dangerous to be kept alive the ability to stop time for one hour each day it stops you as well creating black holes that sucks everything into it you'll build for everything that goes missing body swap you have an extremely painful form of genital herpes that follows you from body to body and flares up every time you swap bodies mosquitoes aren't ducking biting me all the time mosquitoes don't bite you anymore but only because they are repelled by your body odor edit for all the smartasses a bad body odor that humans wouldn't like was implied depending on the situation a background music like in movies plays that only I can hear it's always played by bagpipes being able to turn invisible any sound you make is ten times louder while you're invisible I can get free money from people only if you give them money edit I'm Canadian forgive me for thinking that pennies don't exist telekinesis only for items over 4000 pounds creating portals to quickly get around every time you create a portal a dick comes out of it that you have to suck before using it control of the elements you can only control them while naked and jumping having a 12-inch pianist the pianist is a dick I can cure any disease at will but only if you touch the person you become famous for it and every waking moment is demanded by people begging your aid every moment of your life not trying to use it on as many people as you can get to is an avoidable death is on your head and many people in the medical community give up and send the hard cases your way rather than pushing medicine ahead when you die eventually of old age you've either lived a life of altruistic slavery and set back edson for nearly a century or turned your back on the sick and dying to prioritize yourself you monster being immortal but if a super intelligent snail touches you you die talk to fish but the fish talk back I always have an awesome comeback for any insult five minutes after the argument has ended being able to manipulate atoms coherent Leonid will but only one at a time being able to run or fly up to the speed of light but once you start you can't stop I have the ability to fly you get ESIC and have to throw up eariy time you fly edit so I can fly but I get sick every time can only do it at an inch off the ground slower than the average human walks somehow can't land safely and must have by def a regulations like I'm a clean still get to fly so I'm okay with it teleportation but you cannot control at what altitude you appear to steal other people's powers but it'll only be half as good and one at a time being able to find the clitoris but only your mother's create the food that I want to eat whenever I want however the food items always one day past its use-by to be able to reach into your pocket and always have the right money to pay for something you never have pockets SuperSpeed reaction times you simply perceive everything slower than a normal person so you have to experience life in slow motion the power to endure any side effect edit I come back after a night's sleep and my god get whiplash from like thousands of people cursing me with these terrible side effects some of them are very valid makes me want to go back and reword my so-called superpower this is why I love ridet then you don't get to choose a proper superpower wait talk to animals animals are huge [ __ ] and insult you all the time serious side effect you adopt some behavior from every animal you talk to time stops when I sleep you can only sleep after a bottle of hard spirits flying every time you fire you have explosive diarrhea create copies of myself to be a superhero that can be everywhere at the same time but your copies are just lasting 30 minutes I'm sorry to make people who are reply nice things to Mayra did posts beautiful and healthy except you are also good at sex the ability to instantly teleport anywhere on earth that I choose you can't teleport to the same country twice to stop time at will without the help of any external tool that is a clock you can't rest art it I have a speech skill of 200 intelligence 7 the ability to grow my hair at will that is I can make my hair into a thick belt and then thin by will but it grows everywhere on your body at the same rate shap are shifting but you don't control when it happens or what shape you shift to you could be sitting having dinner in a nice restaurant and suddenly oh [ __ ] you're an aardvark in a suit bending space-time edit I get that having mass makes you bend space-time what I shall set is control the bending of space-time but whatever you do is permanent every McDonald's I enter has their ice cream machine instantly fixed and fully functional but no fries I'm rich but every time you pay for something it costs a certain percent of your total value making you just as backquote wealthy as others super-strength edit this has produced some really random replies but you still have the same body structure so you can lift a train but you will break your arms with the weight the power to have alter counts but you forget to switch to them USB on the first try you are magnetic and a little data Rippon touching it mind control except for your own I can read people's minds you can read only male minds I have the best dad jokes on the internet you hear every chuckle chortle and groan from every reaction to your joke in real-time in your a painful volume oh boy let's see what people can do with what I like to call the spective interaction here's how it works you know how you can close one of your eyes and hold your fingers out in front of you to make it look like you're crushing someone's head between them basically that but it works you can grab a car from across the street and bring it to you however the size changes according to your perspective when you see something in the distance it looks smaller so when you bring it to you it's still that size I hope I've explained it well enough have fun every time you do this your hand becomes the same size it would be from the perspective of the car in the distance being picked up when you bring it back when I snap my fingers someone in a one-mile radius moans like a porn star and they know who did it I can psychically make people [ __ ] themselves all I need to know is their name every time you do a little shot comes out of you I can summon cute therapy dogs at the snap of a finger you can summon the therapy dogs but once they appear they are here forever there are therapy dogs everywhere everyone is happy mind control you can only hear what they think about you always having the right amount of money in my bank account when I go to buy something you can never find your card to pay for it the ability to create valuable memorabilia from thin air but they only last for 20 minutes so you have to sell them fast and run for it schapp are shifting but only to inanimate object the power of friendship I can make friends in my 30s you constantly think that they are just pretending to be your friend be able to help my step-brother with his depression effectively antibiotic resistant bacteria man who instantly spreads super bacteria the moment he dies which is further increased in potency based on how unpleasant the rest of his life has been your immortal jeera kinases gravitational manipulation this will by default give you limited control over time because of gravitational time dilation super auntie laziness I can no longer be insanely lazy due to depression you're no longer lazy however your depression gets ten times worse I can shop a shift into anyone and anything I want but you can't change back the ability to convince anyone to do anything basically maximum charisma once you convince someone to do something they never stop doing it teleportation you can only teleport once a decade I'm always right nobody believes you I will be happy every day for the rest of my life you don't gain any extra happy days it's just all days that would have been unhappy are removed from your projected lifespan to be able to gift penises to animals I see those animals instantly want to rape you for the rest of their life the ability to take away everyone else's side-effects you gain their side-effects every time you take one away you've been visited by Mouse dog oh this dog Oh will steal your pizza unless you comment stop that Mouse dog oh thanks for watching do not forget to subscribe for more daily videos [Music]

Channel: TZ Entertainment

Views: 480,090

Rating: 4.9241786 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, dankify, tz reddit, toadfilms

Id: him1ybtZRXc

Length: 10min 11sec (611 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 26 2020