What's The Weirdest Thing You Found In Your Childs Room?

parents what is the weirdest thing you have found in your child's room my five-year-old son wrote on the footboard of his bed with a crayon please don't kill me it freaked me out for a moment but i realized it was a message for closet and under the bed monsters i gave my five-year-old boy a bunch of coins to put in his bank after a while i went to check on him he was sitting naked on the floor showering his junk with the coins my mother found a notebook full of 13 year old me smut stories in alphabetical order there would be a setting and i would write a story about that i got in from school one day and the book disappeared and it has yet to be mentioned but it will one day it will when i was three my parents discovered old shampoo bottles filled with pee had been the reason the shower had stunk for the past month they asked me why i did it and i told them i was making beer for my jijos that i played with in the shower not my parents but me when i was in middle school i used to keep packets of ketchup and mustard from lunch just something to fidget with in class until school ended when i'd get home i'd keep them because i didn't want to waste food eventually i had three show boxes filled with them under my bed cut to a year later i got home from summer camp and my mom didn't ask me about the playboy under my bed but she was completely baffled as to why i would have three show boxes worth of ketchup and mustard under there i found a stench emanating from my niece's room years ago when she was about three or four i started to clean it and noticed it getting stronger the more i'd gather her dolls into the toy box i emptied the box out again looking for the source but couldn't determine where it was coming from right away after starting to put her dolls back away something fell from the diaper of one upon inspection i realized it was a turd upon further inspection i found that all her dolls diapers had poop in them real human poop it was hers turns out she took her pretend play pretty seriously homemade fleshlight i found a half of a banana with tape all over it the insides had been carved out so it was just the peel i think the tape was used to hold the peel together you gotta give him credit for resourcefulness proud father of two girls here i had been on a mini holiday away with some work friends and arrived home late went upstairs to say hello good night to the girls go into my nine-year-old room and notice the mysterious shadow of an object inside the globe i bought her she is very interested in different countries anyway i don't wake her up i just bring the globe out of the room and open it up to find a model flying saucer covered with female breasts that have clearly been cut out of the dirty magazine and stuck on i have not been able to coax an answer out of either of the girls over it my mom found this little piggy went to porno in my brother's room she was afraid to ask him so she asked me i got to explain that his friend went to the adult store and asked if he wanted anything he asked for something with a catchy title i know my mom's exact answer if you were to ask her when i was a little girl around eight or nine probably my friends and i being the little pervs we apparently were drew this whole notebook filled with stick figures doing it in different settings like in a pool at a concert stuff like that my mom found it one day and was horrified showed it to my dad and i got to spend a whole afternoon being embarrassingly lectured by both my parents they didn't believe me that it was my friends and my doing and thought it was my own personal peace dash i still look back on it and cringe when i was 15 i went to a sexual health clinic and told them my friends and i were planning to have a massive orgy and we couldn't afford protection they gave me a shopping bag with maybe 200 condoms in it like three stroke four bag full i thought i was so clever gf and i wouldn't have to buy condoms for years anyway the bag went missing after like a week my dad found it still don't know if he was mad or impressed my sister found some of her son's toys had poop on them it was a toy screwdriver and something else she was afraid he was putting them up his butt and got really upset later she found out he was pooping on the floor and using the toys to pick up the poop and hide it which was apparently much better he was around three or so he is in college now i try to remind him of that from time to time when i was a teenager i went out with some of my girlfriends and my mom decided to rummage through my bedroom in my gym bag she found a blank medicine bottle full of gold bond powder i moved it to a smaller container so i didn't need to bring the whole thing with me anyway after freaking the frick out about it thinking it was coke the likes of which he's obviously never seen or smelled my dad convinced her that the only way to know was to taste it she claims her tongue went numb for two days not quite in his bedroom but we had a water cooler right outside all our bedrooms it suddenly started smelling around it and we thought it was the bathroom or dirty laundry or something well we cleaned up like crazy and it still was gag-worthy turns out he peed in the water cooler drip catcher thing he was five at the time and when we asked about it he said he really had to go i guess he thought it was like a sink with plumbing but no it just sat there another piece story was that we had a big refrigerator box that we let him play in at four years suddenly he stops playing and we hear a pouring sound he was peeing in the box he said he was pretending it was a house and that was the toilet great imagination but he took it too far a friend of mine told me a story about how every few days he would be missing a steak knife or two time goes on and now he's down to about two knives at some other point his garden shears go missing along with a roll of wire and some hammers for whatever reason his son had had all of the stuff under his bed along with some forks and a few cans of corned beef hash his son is weird just preparing for the apocalypse is all i used to steal pee from my sister she is a lesbian so it was right up my alley i am proud of the fact that i never tattled on my sis when i got caught with her pee when i was in kindergarten my friend and i thought we would be brilliant and hatch some chickens so we stole eggs from the fridge and kept them in socks to try and hatch them his mom found a smushed egg in my backpack still in a sock i don't know how she found it and then a couple weeks or so later found his stash under his bed because it was rotting he ended up getting actual chickens within the year i got sea monkeys my mother found a few pairs of blood-stained underwear stuffed behind my head but once ah puberty at its finest two dozen pairs of socks stuffed between the bed and the wall my then four-year-old kept telling me he needed new socks about once a week i'd buy him three or six pair he'd tell my husband the same and he'd buy a few pairs we did a deep clean one day pulled the bed away from the wall and viola socks galore when asked why he didn't just put the socks in the hamper he told us the socks didn't know how to swim yet and he didn't want to drown them my four-year-old girl was playing dress-up with our roomba yelling at it when it tried to run away i had a colleague who told me an interesting story from when he was a kid when he was younger he wasn't allowed to have candy he would create licking spots in secret corners of the house the stairway had one the inside of a cupboard a hidden piece of the wall somewhere etc he would stain those spots with syrup and toothpaste and occasionally secretly lick those spots that was his candy not in a bedroom but obviously hidden by a kid i obtained a large bean bag from a woman via a recycling site i was going to make a new cover for it and remodel it for my dog's beds and when i unzipped it there was around half a dozen pairs of little girls underwear caked in poop i felt so sorry for the kid who must have been scared to tell her mum of the accident she'd had and i really wanted to ring the mother and tell her but thought i might worsen whatever that little girl was going through dogs never did get their beanbag beds either half of a five-pound block of cheese in the bottom drawer of my three-year-olds dresser small bite marks were taken out of it when asked the answer given was i like cheese when my husband was a toddler his mom walked into the room he and his brother shared to see all of their stuffed animals spread out and covered with the contents of a family-sized jug of ketchup the incident is known as the stuffed animal massacre my mom found a duck call in my brother's room and thought it was a bong she looked at it for about a minute trying to figure out where the weed went before she blew into it and realized what it really was silly woman it's not a weed bong it's a quack pipe my younger brother hid a dead squirrel under his bed in a shoebox it took about a week for the entire house to smell like death and another week to locate the body when i was like eight a couple families came over for a get-together from grade school the boys joined together and rallied against the girls forming a sort of no girls club i being the club leader made notebooks full of rules about how girls suck and how we were going to eliminate them we decided to hide the secret book under my bed about six years later my mom found the book and read it it looked like the scribblings of a complete madman and she thought it was recent because i decided to date the pictures with a future date when i made them to throw the girls off if they ever found the book thinking her son was a delusional maniac she went up to me and asked um falcon16 what is this we all had a good laugh not me but a friend of mine she was around 15 and found a cat skeleton and hid it under her bed her parents weren't happy when they found it we named it fluffy quick backstory when we were kids my oldest sister was obsessed with egypt she had books movies posters everything about egyptology so at one point in my life someone in the house noticed an odd smell coming from said sister's room i remember my mom looking everywhere for the source but we never could find it we all just assumed it was her smell fast forward to my sister moving out for college she was packing and i was just lolla gagging around about 10 years old and she pulled out a tennis ball canister and started laughing she totally forgot about the mummified peaches she and her friend tried making years earlier it turns out the awful smell was these peaches that my system unified by putting them in a tennis ball container and filling it to the top with garlic powder worst freaking discovery ever a few months ago i found a ruler on the floor in my boy's room ages 14 and 16. they immediately yelled for me to put it down apparently it's their dong measuring ruler my son had a large rc t-rex and we had ripped the guts out after he dropped it in the water so basically we had a huge hollow t-rex one day i noticed him playing with it and could hear something inside i shook it and looked inside but i couldn't see anything so genius me takes the t-rex tilts it forward so that the mouth is pointing at me and i start shaking the thing out flies a dead bird and hits me right in the chest my son was a huge fan of jurassic park so when he found the dead bird in the yard i guess it seemed logical to feed the t-rex i remember laughing and crying and yelling at him worst find ever i think my mom also once found out the weird smart stories i would write when i was younger like really young i was a voracious reader and would read anything left lying around so i'd often read my mom's copies of red book and cosmopolitan which of course are filled with dirty stuff i was like seven or eight had no idea what intercourse was aside from the stuff i read in those magazines so i'd write dirty stories that probably made no sense to work it all out in my brain one time i went to where i kept my notebook or whatever and found instead a note from my mother about how intercourse can cause pregnancy and steez and how third graders aren't ready to have children freaking traumatizing for me but probably even morizo for her she started throwing out her magazines after she'd read them after that and gave me a big birds and bees talk a year or so later when i was around 12 i really wanted an ipad however my family isn't rich and my parents can't afford it so i decided that if i could save up my lunch and enough money i could buy one for myself i started buying packets of instant noodles and stored them in my cupboard because if i kept them in the kitchen anyone could eat them but i soon got tired of just eating plain noodle and i started buying eggs to add them to my noodle and i kept them in my cupboard as well but i soon got sick of eating that as well and i bought other ingredients as time passed my mini pantry grew i had spring onions lunch and meat various canned food and an assortment of instant noodles the day when i came home from school and saw all my food lay out nicely on the dining table with my mum sitting beside them was awesome when i was nine and first learned how to jerk off i had heard of selling your sperm to a sperm bank for money so i decided to save all my cm in a prescription bottle my mom found it about two weeks in roughly one stroke three of the way full she gave me a wtf look i explained my entrepreneurial pursuit to sell it she left the room to control her laughter and disgust pretty sure that was the weirdest moment conversation we have ever had containers of kitty litter boxes plates buckets anything in her room that could hold something had kitty litter in it she had hidden them under the bed in the closet on her nightstand i finally understood why we were going through litter so fast my dad once found a pdvd in my room took it without saying a word he watched it for a while and i found it again and stole it back my mother however did not know it ended when my dad broke it and left it in plain sight my little brother crapped his pants without me knowing and threw his crap on the floor i come by five hours later and see this blackish circle thing that looks like a cookie brownie and pick it up that's when i realized it wasn't a cookie not a parent bit me and the weirdest thing that was found so when i was in sixth grade our family took a trip to miami and stayed in this creepy overgrown beach house it was cheap however so it worked anyway in the backyard i found these potato banana thingies growing on the fence imagine a round potato on a vine i thought they were some mystical voodoo fruit and so i picked a few and we went home i then placed them under the bed for safe keeping shortly after school resumed and i forgot about them two years go by and we're about to move the mover are moving by bed and i hear a chorus of wtf i rush up and the entire underside of my bed carpet and mattress are one massive growth of tree potatoes essentially a seething mass of flora so dense it had eaten my carpet and under bed came into my atmo old son's room and saw him giggling his face off next to her too one stroke two foot snake the cat had dragged it in just to guard a snake but it freaked me out at the time ended up trapping it in a bucket and letting it loose at the nearest steam no infants or snakes harmed when i was six i peed in my laundry basket because i was in a hurry to play some super mario i didn't know what i was thinking my mother kept asking me why there was sand from the sandbox in my bed when i was younger one of my favorite activities was picking my belly button and removing the filth the only problem was once i cleaned it there would be no more belly button cheese i was smart so i decided that i needed to create a factory in my belly button that would create more cheese naturally i put sand in my belly button before i went to sleep i kept a hair graveyard under my childhood bed i'd find single hair around the house human dog guinea pig etc and place each on its own piece of paper i'd name it date it and occasionally write an epitaph i asked my parents recently if they knew about it i thought for sure everyone knew but apparently i kept it a secret even weirder i am just going to go ahead and list some of the stuff my mother has found in my room over my childhood half the kitchen's worth of dirty dishes i did not want to wash them and she will never notice right hit them behind my bed a cup with dirty water and about 14 sharpie markers from butthole experimentation a baster same as above several garments of my mother's clothing she never once confronted me or acted any differently towards me for any of them or any other other crazy crap i stashed away when i was six my parents found an empty bottle of antibiotics prescribed to our cat and a raw egg under my covers the bottle of meds was full the night before i thought it would turn me into a cat i can't explain the egg well my little brother moved out of the house and my parents decided to buy new furniture for the room but so we go to moving his bed and find stains perfectly following the edge of the box spring long story short he had glued his bed to the carpet with years of juice my parents still think it's carpenter's glue and a failed experiment from his childhood he completely ruined the carpet though it had to be cut away with a utility knife well i don't have a child yet but there was once i had a sleepover at my cousin's house and had to share a room with his younger brother who was around the age of eight i was surprised to find a row of action figurines without heads on the study table he had impaled their heads with a pencil and displayed them on the wall in his room the funny thing is his parents didn't find that weird at all if 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Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: weirdest things, weirdest things found, weirdest things ever, parents, parenting, weirdest, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: 9LQF-MLkN94

Length: 19min 26sec (1166 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 19 2020