Craziest Things People Said After Waking up From Anesthesia

nurses what is the most memorable thing a person has said done while waking up from anesthesia when i woke up from my endoscopy i ripped the loudest fart i have ever heard the nurse looked at my shock and said damn apparently they pump your stomach full of air during the procedure i was so ill gassy after my appendectomy i farted and belched for several days afterwards some of the loudest most violent gas i've ever had my oral surgeon told me a knock knock joke while i was being put under for my wisdom teeth removal afterwards he told me that i laughed so hard at the joke that i threw up and pee my pants he said no one had ever laughed that much at one of his jokes before i don't remember any of it but my pants were definitely moist while i was in the recovery room it was pretty embarrassing for 23 year old me a friend of mine woke up from getting his wisdom teeth removed and gave everyone including his parents the middle finger anyone who tried to talk to him got flipped off and no other response he knew what he was doing he just knew he could get away with it at that moment awoke from getting my wisdom teeth out and felt something strange in my mouth and proceeded to hold it whilst mumbling yelling what is this it was my tongue best one in the thread i just died i had an 89 year old lady coming for a hip replacement after a full prior to surgery she was a sweet old lady saying yes near and oh it's all right and other nice old lady things she comes back from surgery with a catheter and during recovery wakes up and yells there is something in my p i didn't even know she knew that word i do computer service and my target market is seniors there are a lot of seniors who have computers but didn't grow up with them if there's one thing i've learned it's that old people are old not stupid it wasn't that long ago that they were 20 years old and lighting firecrackers in people's letterboxes my uncle had surgery to stretch his esophagus food was getting stuck at the back of his throat and after the surgery my aunt wheeled him to the elevator where they rode down with two other gentlemen one of the guys said to the other i spilled some gasoline in the back seat of my car do you have any advice on how to get it out my uncle overheard their conversation and loudly said light a match he's not wrong [Music] i had my wisdom teeth taken out a while ago my mom was waiting in the front office for me to take me home after my procedure upon finishing the procedure the attending nurse went out to the front office and asked for jennifer my mom's name is not jennifer she kept asking for jennifer while my mother sat there reading frustrated at the lack of response the nurse asks for sundance's mom to which he stands up and goes back with her mom enters the operating room and the nurses and doctor are laughing at me apparently i had told them i wanted jennifer the hot nurse who conducted my consultation that morning to take me home not my mom you're wiser all doped up than sober i was an orderly about a million years ago and the recovery ward was the absolute worst place in the hospital to me gsw bleeding all over the air no problem cleaning up unknown fluid in surgery sure thing boss but the way people act coming out of anesthesia can be absolutely horrifying the one that sticks with me was a player from the houston oilers i said it was a million years ago the dude was gigantic and had knee surgery he's being really restless so i had to strap him down so he didn't hurt himself he looked at me with blurry eyes and the meekest saddest voice i ever heard said i want my mom for some reason it broke my freaking heart even the manliest men think it sometimes they just don't usually say it i woke up from a coma and pretended to know who my friends and family were i didn't want to be rude and it took the nurse a while to realize i had amnesia i was told i told my nurse in front of my husband don't let me fart or poop in front of my husband this was immediately after a colonoscopy so farting was happening and i couldn't do anything about it my anaesthetic wore off during my first colonoscopy i woke up looked at the monitor which was showing the camera in my insides freaked out a bit and said i'm awake i have woken up i do not want to be awake for this i'm back under i went here's a personal story i got my wisdom teeth out when i was 16 after coming to in the recovery room my dad and the nurse had to each take me by the arm to get me to the car i started cussing like a sailor because i could barely walk i keep yelling fool why is the floor moving so my dad tells me to be a gentleman and stop cussing in front of the nurse crap i'm sorry for saying frick aww crap i said it again just a reminder i was yelling so that all the people in the front office could hear me i spent the whole ride telling my dad i freaked up and then would apologize for saying frick again while saying it creating a cycle of cursing and apologizing i have a friend that will do this sober i woke up from having my wisdom teeth removed asking when they were going to start then panicked when i couldn't talk properly she tried to calm me down and then i started crying and asking for a big mac she left to go get my sister to help calm me down and told me not to fall back asleep while she was gone i told her b i do what i want and fell back asleep my sister woke me up and then i absolutely refused to believe she hadn't been drinking at 8am because everyone was clearly acting strangely and that i would be safer laying on the backseat floor of her car while she drove me home she and the nurses had to put me in the front seat of her car and buckle me in and then my sister told me she locked the seat belt so i shouldn't try to undo it i believed her como i started crying and asking for a big mac comabee i do what i want this made my day op haha allegedly i had a thumb surgery game keepers skiers thumb when i woke up the nurse asked me how bad the pain was on a scale 110 i told her i don't know a 6 she comes back 30 minutes later and asks again i started yelling you already asked this question sucks it's an 8 i want pretzels i'm not a nurse but when i woke up after getting my tonsils removed the nurse said i woke up singing i don't want no scrubs a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me i then proceeded to ask her if i had crap myself then laugh hysterically for a couple of minutes at a sign above the sink which said please wash your hands which had a picture of hans from frozen underneath it i am unreasonably upset that it wasn't a picture of hans moleman i don't really remember anything but me laughing about it at the time but i went to get some fairly invasive surgery done to correct phymosis when they wheeled me into the surgery room they'd obviously already given me something to relax me and to prepare me for full anesthesia when we got to the operating room they were getting ready to move me to the table for whatever mischievous reason i apparently decided to go dead weight they managed to get my legs up on the table but i refused to budge and i just remember laughing hysterically as they tried to nudge and rode me over to the side to get me on the table but i kept rolling back the other way onto the bed eventually a team of what seemed like three or four doctors picked me up and almost dropped me on the table as i lay there maniacally giggling it was after this i realized i am a tremendous douchebag under sedation my child does this on the regular in protest when i got my wisdom teeth out my dad drove me we were in a town about an hour away from home the office was located in a strip mall building and when we got to the car my dad noticed a pharmacy as well so he decided to go fill my prescription before we left after buckling me into the passenger seat of course about a minute after he left i called my mom from his phone crying hysterically i explained that i was in dad's truck and had his phone and keys and had no idea where he was but he'd been gone for over an hour she asked me where i was and i told her i was parked in front of an abandoned building aka the busy strip mall and was really scared someone took dad when dad came back i actually cried with relief that nothing had happened to him in the five minutes he'd been gone not a nurse but i was an emt does that count even so this experience didn't happen while i was working as an emt it just happened to me and my wife my wife went into surgery came out all was good she woke up and told me she wanted some water so i get the cup with a straw and i'm holding it and she's drinking from it she pulls her head back a little bit and some dribbles down her chin she just freaks the frick out and goes god you freaking idiot what the heck is the matter with you i just stared like wtf the nurse says it'll pass sometimes anesthesia makes people mean she wasn't lying a very unpleasant hour followed when i got my wisdom teeth out my little brother had to help me up the stairs to my bedroom he sort of dropped me on the way up and a few hours later i demanded that he be brought to my room i looked him dead in the eye and said you are inept before going back to hugging the toilet my mother is a crna one of the people who administer anesthesia a patient needed to be put under for removal of extensive genital warts covering the whole area thighs and even the lower abdomen when the patient came to they were yelling herpes free is the way to be even though it wasn't herpes i mean they are not wrong not a nurse but my sister is she had a patient wake up and start singing gospel songs but she kept adding in suggestive lyrics because she was confused the lord told me he shake what your mama gave you o lord of highest heaven shake that money maker o lamb of god put it on me you got me looking so crazy right now looking so crazy in love got me looking for when the saints go marching in the lord told me he shake what your mama gave you o lord of highest heaven shake that money maker beautiful dude wove iv tubing pca cord hammer vac line nmb line bp cuff line pulse ox line call bell cord o2 tubing foley catheter cpm remote cord and telephone line into the most magnificent angle then he opens his eyes and looks at me looks at his hands all tied up in this mess and says this is bulls i'm laughing my butt off but somehow i'm guessing it's less amusing to you had a guy go down to the ore before he went down we told him that he would enjoy it because the nurses were prettier down there when he came back up we asked him if the nurses really were prettier he said i came back didn't i i walked into the room 20 minutes later and he must have forgotten i was taking care of him because he said how you doing with a stupid grin on his face when i had my wisdom teeth removed i came to crying hysterically asking them where they hid my stuffed cat i had no stuffed cat had surgery a bit ago and the last thing i said when they put me to sleep that i remember is leave my dress on i don't want to be naked in front of everyone upon waking up i asked the nurse to hold my hand and told her very calmly that i needed something to throw up in waited until i had been handed the bowl thing then puked my soul out i am not a nurse but i am sure if my nurse was here they would have posted my story i remember vaguely asking my nurse when i woke up that i had to pee and he said something like okay i will help you and i said great and i just started peeing my pants he started saying no no no no no as he grabs a bedpan and i pull my dong out and start peeing up in the air like a fountain into him in the bedpan i remember it like a dream it could have happened or it might by my brain playing tricks on me but when i was fully awake i was a bit wet the mental image i have of this is hilarious not a nurse but a patient woke up after getting wisdom teeth removed nurse came over and asked if i was in pain i wasn't really but i knew what she was asking so accepted the demerol immediately felt great best drugs are in the hospital another patient a few beds down woke up and nurse went to see that patient well another nurse came over asking if i was in pain you bet i said got another dose of demerol ended up in the emergency room being monitored for being overdosed i don't remember a whole lot but do remember being rolled out of the hospital in the wheelchair drooling all over myself and not really caring too much about it this is why nurses are supposed to write down everything they do not exactly anesthesia when i was 16 i had a semi-severe accident but i was pretty level-headed about it told my parents i was going into shock had them elevate the wound and load me into their car and then promptly passed out once at the hospital i kind of came to and the nurse she was maybe five ten years older than i was and super cute put in a line and started hitting me with morphine she says tell me when you feel it kicking at this point i'm writhing on the gurney a bit since i'm coming out of shock and the pain is hitting me but the morphine kicks in and i turn to her and say in my best 16 year old trauma patient come on voice you look so much better now on the anaesthesia note coming out of it while still jacked on morphine was absolutely horrible the hallucinations were so bad i told them i'd rather be off the morphine and deal with the pain directly not while waking up but while on a bunch of pain meds for a few days i was extremely groggy and fell asleep when my mother woke me up i said you must tell the pope immediately and then promptly fell back asleep my friend did something like this but sat bolt upright in a hospital bed surrounded by family and shout bryan me peter pan i broke my jaw a few years back and they wired my jaw shut when my jaw healed i had surgery to remove the hardware when i woke up i had a raging anesthesia boner i was wearing one of those thin hospital gowns and laying on my back so everyone who could see me knew i had a pitched tent i was at full mast so naturally i tried to get my girlfriend who was waiting there for me to wake up to give me a bj in the recovery room she tells me i was shouting do something about this help help me while pointing at my completely unimpressive dong the nurses were all staring and laughing to make this worse my girlfriend's dad was the head of the surgery center i was at so all the nurses knew who my she was she was horrified to his day i don't know if he knows about this incident i hope someone sees this it's my favorite story this had me laughing the hardest user have cured depression this isn't my personal story but my father's my dad works in a hospital and they had to put this big stereotypical biker manly man under for a procedure and while they're working on him the guy starts telling them about how when his wife goes grocery shopping he likes to put on her panties and high heels and walk around the house i recently had my wisdom teeth pulled and i was being helped to the car by myself and a nurse we get out to the curb and me in my drunken state gets the following bright idea come oh there's a curb here if you drop me i can totally sue you and make millions like that lady at mcdonald's but no offense you're real nice i just need money she laughed and said the moment i was out the door i was the city's problem she told my so that was probably one of the funnier comments when i woke up in the chair i was also amazed they had put my glasses back on years ago when i got some non-wisdom teeth removed because my mouth is annoyingly small i was still extremely high after the surgery and i tried to hijack the wheelchair in which they were taking me out to the car i don't remember it very well but apparently i got part way down the hallway while my mother was filling out paperwork for me the nurse then chased after me as my mom stood there laughing grand theft wheelchair when i got my wisdom teeth out about 10 years ago they gave me full iv anaesthetic i was doing a lot of ketamine at the time and i told them i might have a tolerance to anesthetics they just laughed and said i would be fine apparently i woke up way earlier than i should have and was stumbling down the hall yelling my nose my nose where is my nose i asked the nurse whether or not the end justified the means citing examples like dropping the bomb on hiroshima to end the war hey these are important freaking questions i apparently came to in the waiting room in a wheelchair after having my wisdom teeth out and asked so when are we doing this thing then my friends found out i was all whacked out and they took me to walmart where i stole the parasol from the smoker's break table outside there are photos of it planted in the middle of my high school field on fire i remember none of this it was all related to me by friends and photos i broke my kneecap and when i woke up my girlfriend parents and surgeon were standing there here's the thing i felt the most massive crippling depression i have ever felt in my life i recognized it because i have had depression before and worked really hard at getting myself out of it and repairing my life relationships jobs etc with my face grimaced and pain and tears starting to form in my eyes i said i love you all but you need to get the frick out of my room right now the first half of that was a lie when you feel depressed like that you don't love anything i just knew it needed to be said so i didn't insult anybody in a way i couldn't take it back later unfortunately it only took me three or four hours to shake it off not three or four years like before it was all chemical my ex had a miscarriage and had to get a dnc operation done during the procedure a serious moment for myself my ex was laughing her butt off saying my face looked like a ghost house i asked the nurse what they gave her she smiled at me and replied pharmaceuticals at their finest dnc dilation and curettage colon my sister and i had our wisdom teeth out one week apart both general anesthesia she woke up with chills so bad she was shivering and couldn't stop i woke up euphoric like full on bounty everything's good let me run around the block a few times a couple hours later the pain hit me not a nurse but fear to support worker working a shift in recovery patient comes in i take handover from the anesthetist left below knee amputation due to her previously botched up in a different hospital kid starts to come round we remove his tube he's awake now asks how it all went and if he can see the dressing i pull the blanket back he starts freaking out screaming oh my god they took the wrong leg i panic like crazy start calling the anaesthetist back the kid busts out laughing little bastard had it planned from the start not a nurse but after i got my wisdom teeth taken out i demanded that my mom go out and buy the movie of pink floyd's the wall on dvd because i heard it's really badass when you're high as balls but i couldn't actually get the words out so i stood at the kitchen counter writing it down on a notepad for about 20 minutes then i went to the living room and passed out on the recliner for about 24 hours but what you wrote on the notepad were hieroglyphics hieroglyphics woke up after having exception to the nurse wheeling me down the hall she turned a corner and bumped the wall apparently i told the nurse to stop i am not paying any more money for this car service later on i would go on to rambling about random things and how i see marvin from hitchhiker's guide felt morphine it's a heck of a drug and something i never want to take again everyone has always told me how wonderful and amazing morphine is but when i broke my ankle a couple months back they gave me morphine in the air and it didn't do crap for me major disappointment they had to give me dilaudid instead because multiple doses of morphine weren't even touching my pains add i broke my femur and had it surgically repaired they paralyzed me from the waist down during the surgery to prevent my body from fighting them when i woke up in the recovery room i just remember saying i can't feel my dong the nurse got a good chuckle out of that one but she could feel your dong i had to go in for a spot of ovarian drilling fun fun and came to swatting the air i woke up thinking that my dac's hunt had sprouted wings and was buzzing around my head like a mosquito he wasn't even a miniature he was a 32 pound standard so whenever he maliciously bumped into my face it hurt damn it i could google that or i could soundly tonight which will i choose when we were in high school my brother and i had our wisdom teeth removed at the same time by that point i had already gone through a couple of surgeries so i knew how to handle myself when on drugs my brother on the other hand had never experienced anything like this he woke up convinced he could go back to school and attend his drama class our school was producing 42nd street and my brother was one of the tap dancers in the attempt to prove to everyone that he could go back to school my six feet one brother got up and proceeded to try and tap dance while my mother and the nurses tried to hold him down look everyone i'm fine honest he kept saying when they kept on insisting he lie down he started to sing the songs from 42nd street it was hard to tell what he was trying to sing because he kept on mixing up the words from one song with the words from several other songs in the same musical this continued until we were in the car and halfway home he whimpered on second thought i don't think i want to go back to school after getting my wisdom teeth out i was getting coaxed into getting into a wheelchair i loudly said wheelchairs after the week stood up and fell back into the chair my twin brother and i had our wisdom teeth removed by the same guy on the same day my brother went first and he came out and said sue up buddy before being wheeled to a recovery room where the surgeon talked to my mom about what to expect the surgeon was a bit loud for my brother so he screamed mom why is the doctor being such a prick door was shut right after when i came out i started to sing and dance to party rock anthem i don't even like that song then as my brother and i were being wheeled together through the parking lot we flipped each other off with both hands the whole way comma so he screamed mom why is the doctor being such a prick door was shut right after dear lord that's hilarious it's better than vodka no it is better than vodka i'm gonna tell my friends and we will make a party with your drugs all said with this confident drunk and euphoric voice don't do drugs kids even those used in a hospital are crap frick that don't listen to this guy kids drugs are great i had surgery when i was four and a little while after waking up i apparently told my dad there's a spirit in your pocket maybe i have a sixth 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Keywords: waking up from anesthesia, waking up from anesthesia funny, doctors, nurses, medical, hospital, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: ojvd2XFCqJs

Length: 24min 45sec (1485 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 04 2020