Doctors, What Weird Things Have You Walked In On?

nsw doctors and nurses offered it despite knocking before entering a patient's room what's the strangest thing you've walked in on a patient doing had a guy in his late teens early twenties constantly masturbating everyone walked in on it it was on a floor where the patients were separated by curtains too looking back I think he was an exhibitionist and he was making us all subjects to his master battery fodder so that was fun he would love stand up count time in prison or add sage you so many inmates jacking off to the female guards nurses as they make their rounds woman giving her husband a bj except that she was the patient in the burn unit admitted after a flash fire from pouring lighter fluid on her barbecue all the hair on her face was singe off her face was super swollen and red and we had caked on antibiotic ointment all over her face to treat her burns talk about sloppy head what can you say the guy's got a ghoul fetish at a retirement home for elderly folks with severe dementia there's this one guy that is always silent but cherry always smiling wavers when you acknowledge him one day out of the blue he stops me in the hall and raises his finger toward a room with the sternest scowl I have ever seen he says in the deepest most movie trailer narrator voice I have ever heard in person this this is the room upon entering the room I found that he was directing all of the wandering residents into this room and had like four people crammed into this little studio unit first internship in a geriatric ward me and a fellow student walk into a patient's room who is screaming like crazy he was known for having serious dementia we opened the door and my student colleague gets a warm handful of crap thrown right in his face needless to say I was quite surprised but happy I missed the brown rocket paramedic I'm not sure I even know what strange means anymore walking on a dude with the left hand full of poop and a right hand full of his dog that he is furiously jerking sigh all right man just make sure you get it in the toilet when you're done still jerking which yes I've seen more crap in the field and I have in the hospital except the wine bottle in the butt and the pen in the dong same guy injecting a chin to his neck it was weird because he had a P ICC line but he still went for the neck the patient was admitted for a six-week course of antibiotics for an infection caused by IV drug use we had to keep him in the hospital for the whole six weeks because he couldn't go home with the P ICC due to his habit good guy junkie protecting his line integrity not a doctor or nurse but I am a police officer we were going to calls at a hospital for a dispute waking through the halls of the hospital I heard someone yell officer help help I walked into the room that the yelling came from and there was a little bald fat man masturbating violently and just looking deeply into my eyes snickering he tricked me not super strange overall but unexpected labor and delivery unit saw from the main monitor at the desk fat one baby's heart rate had stopped tracing on the fetal monitor it happens sometimes with position changes during labor so we went in to go readjust patient is just sitting there cleaning that just born baby off with the sheets looks at us like nothing is wrong didn't even ring her called Bell on second thought I didn't need you guys thanks for the expensive hotel room I'm not a doctor but a few years ago I went to visit a friend in hospital when I walked into the wrong room and witnessed a patient peeing into their own mouth I was so shocked I just slowly took a few steps back and quietly left his room male I would say his age was around 18 stroked 19 from my quick glance and turn there might be a little morphine left in this urine 15 you a male with abdominal pain his cardiac monitor starts dinging of touch looked convincing on the ghost monitor to about three nurses and a doc caught him masturbating I had a patient who kept pulling his IV line out because he said he couldn't get up and move around while attached to the IV pump he had done it a couple times a shift for a couple days and he was a hard stick I told him he needed to use the call button to ask for help unplugging the pump etc if he needed to get up I also sternly told him that under no circumstances was he to pull the IV out of his arm again he needed the fluids medications etc well a couple hours later I walked by his room and it looked like someone had been slaughtered in there the bed was soaked with blood blood was spattered on the walls and the furniture and there were pools of blood on the floor leading to the bathroom I went into the bathroom and there he was standing at the sink washing his face with blood pouring out of the IV tubing that he broke so he could get up I quickly tied the tubing to stop the bleeding and he seemed dumbfounded about what the big deal was looking right at me and saying who said not to pull the IV out of my arm right we once had a patient with borderline personality disorder in the edy he pressed the nursing called button and positioned himself standing on the end of his bed bent over hospital gown pulled up they about facing the door when the nurse walked in and pulled aside the curtain the patient let out a glass of diarrhea that splattered all over the poor shocked nurse I don't really see what him having BPD has to do with this but by all means give that nurse my condolences man to teenage girls in a Children's Hospital for sickle cell were in the same room together and were discussing the nice things there pimp bought them one girl had received a nice handbag and the other one had received something less nice they then after more discussion of their pimps realized they had the same pimp causing the girl who got worse things to try and steal the others handbag saying that she deserved it more or something this led to them fighting and pulling out each other's central lines bloody mess but one of my favorite stories got to love Oakland an addict injecting her own fesses into her IV line so she could justify staying in the hospital longer dick on someone into giving her dilaudid no poles in the patient's room but that didn't stop them from getting a lap dance from a lady who was clearly not wearing the nurse's outfit because she worked there definitely watched this pee before definitely walking in on a patient with a blood-pressure cuff around his neck and pumping it to see how high he could get it before passing out it was interesting to say the least embarrassment ensued one parents freaking on their hospital bed while they're 15 y/o child the patient is sleeping - child putting play-doh in the Jackson Pratt right after having a liver transplant three nurse kneeling in front of a team patient had the patient's back to me so I couldn't see what the nurse was doing and the patient says yes that feels good this way turns out she was only changing the bandage on his ankle for as I opened my patients nor I can only see the doctor dancing on furniture for the uninitiated like me a Jackson Pratt drain also called a JP drain is a closed suction medical device that is commonly used as a post-operative drain for collecting bodily fluids from surgical sites the device consists of an internal drain connected to a grenade shaped belt via plastic tubing I walked in on two ladies gettin Yvonne I apologized told them I'd give them a few minutes to finish up and come back later I'll give you a few minutes to finish up stands in the corner dot go on working in neuro psych the strangest thing I have walked in on was a fully cognitive 18 year old male freaking his biological mother the freaking was consensual and they both seemed to be enjoying themselves however needless to say the mother was denied a private presence and given limited visiting hours after that that mother sucker I had a patient with dementia who constantly carried around a Bible apparently I resembled her daughter and she would call me by her daughter's name every time I walked into her room she would scream at me for freaking that boy and hit me with her Bible it was an interesting shift that I know did PTSD time and VA psych ward was the only female patient old grizzled veteran with wet brain was forever taking this woman's frillies from the unit's laundry she would find him ambling down the passage wearing her skivvies or bra he would grin offer to return em then told her she reminded him of his daughter not pin up a nope I am a student midwife one of the midwives I have worked with walked in on a couple freaking in a private room in an attempt to induce labour themselves before the doctors could get at them they didn't even notice it's okay it's a medical procedure Ellen amp D nurse walked in on a lathering patient squatted over the floor trying to poke right next to the bedside commode she had just been situated on she said that it felt more natural whew okay yes it is better to squat to do the deed it was odd because she was squatting on the floor with nothing underneath to catch her impending bowel movement I am constantly horrified by poop stories from nurses the only thing more awkward than walking in on a patient using their central line to inject H is having to listen to them try to convince you that they were not just using their central line to inject H for all disparaging comments toward patients who suffer from addiction I posted this because it was an awkward interaction I had very early in my medical career let's not forget that as awkward and embarrassing it was for me the situation was surely worse for the patient we are both human beings doing our best to get through a hard day well nurse as you can see this H appeared in the room and I am trying to get rid of it for the safety of this hospital you would be very surprised at how much old person's freaking is going on most of the time it's when a man is in the hospital and his wife comes to visit him they just climb right into those beds and get freaky god bless a frisky geriatric bastards when hooked up to heart monitor they can freak out some nurses Oh zero paramedic Germany not full sanitizer we take our long words seriously last week get a call to pick up an elderly lady from the hospital and drive her to another hospital to get her TEP hip replacement put in we walk in she's there with a young guy she introduces as her great nephew and who helps her put her stuff together we tell her to pack up go get paperwork started and I go back for her to sign the transfer papers insurance mostly knock open she is on the bird playing with herself and sucking off the guy who's standing next to it on his tippy toes so he can reach her did a double-take told the guy that he could press the button to lower the bed so he didn't have to stand on his toes and gave them a few more minutes you'd the real MVP this happened to another nurse the married father of a 12 year old patient who just had open-heart surgery and was heavily sedated was hitting on a nurse I work with at 10:00 p.m. he mentioned she looked stressed and offered to massage her she declined and laughed it off at 12a and she went back in the room and he tried to massage her back without asking she told him no in no uncertain terms and figured that was the end of it at 4:00 a.m. she walked in and he was standing there naked and tried to seduce her she called security who then called his wife explaining to her why she had to come pick her husband up at 4:00 a.m. in the morning and why he was no longer allowed in the hospital man gambled on 33% and lost hard I walked in on a couple in the middle of a heavy McKee rat session only to later find out that they were brother and sister that was awkward oh there's Lannisters during my first clinical rotation for nursing a classmate of mine did an assessment on an older patient and came out saying she is absolutely his suicide risk I'm getting her actual nurse turns out the patient's husband had passed away and she was talking about how she missed him along with saying things like I'm just tired of doing this I just want to see him again and life just seems pointless now these are huge red flags for suicide risk the classmate asked another classmates to go in and stay with the patient until the nurse could come in to check on her when the other student walked in the patient had a handful of her blood pressure meds she dropped them on the ground and started crying first time ever being nurses and we have a patient almost kill herself absolutely insane second day on the job and a patient and labor ward tried to kill herself due to postpartum psychosis via electrocution I spent the entire night on suicide watch she stuck her hand into the socket of a light bulb had to amputate most of her index finger family wanted to take her out the next day for an exorcism I found a patient dead in her bed once barely half an hour after I last saw her being awake well and confident she'd be discharged in a few days not me but my mom is a nurse that works in intensive care she told me about this one patient who wouldn't talk to anyone except for one of her co-workers Debbie so naturally Debbie was the one who always got this patient when he spoke to her he would be sincerely sweet and super nice always trying to be a gentleman well one day Debbie wasn't there and my mom got to take care of the man when she went to check on him he was scribbling on a notepad and as he noticed her he tried to hide the notebook and accidentally dropped it on the floor but my mom picked it up and as she handed it back to him she skimmed over what he had written for days he had been scribbling and dark writing frick Debbie and killed Debbie and disturbing stories about him murdering her he was transferred to the mental ward shortly after that's the definition of a debbie downer girlfriend is a nurse does not have a rim knit account and wanted me to post this story here it goes I had a patient that was a 60 year old constipated woman and she was in the hospital for a couple of days trying to get help for her constipation we had tried everything from enemies to laxatives and nothing seemed to work I went into her room to give her an update that we were going to call a doctor and that's when it happened she was laying on her side with her buf facing the door with her hand dug into her butt hole digging out the crap with her fingers like an ice cream scooper I kind of just looked at her not knowing what to do or say but the look on her face was one of pure joy and satisfaction needless to say she got it all out and the entire bed was covered in her fecal matter no corn though I know this because I was the one who had to clean it up TLDR walked in on a human pooper scooper I dated a nurse and she mentioned having to dig fesses out of severely constipated patients and how satisfying it was when you succeeded and how frustrating it was when it retreated further up into the bowels out of reach we were eating ice cream at the time and she told me this and she just blab it away about this as if she were just talking about the weather I had a patient with hepatic encephalopathy I walked into his room to give him a cup of water and he was drinking out of his urinal I was about to perform the colonoscopy in the patient with shoving M&Ms in his rectum said he wanted to give me an Easter egg hunt they were the larger peanut M&Ms at least two small bags worth the nurses wouldn't eat them nurses had a peanut allergy this can't be true I admitted this elderly bedridden patient who had a daughter with him she claims she was his caregiver I was about to find out how true that was I'm at the desk when he goes into v-fib we bust in there with the cart ready to save this dude's life we throw the curtain back and this lady is jacking off her dad furiously while he lay in the bed just having died we coated him but to no avail after the code my charge asked what she was doing her response whenever he gets worked up it's the only thing that calms him down and that was my first experience with not being able to even lost me but to nurse I worked with walked in on a patient and her visitor doing the dirty and by dirty I mean dirty imagined the amount of gross crap that's gone down in an hour not to mention the woman wasn't not exactly ladylike turns out the patient was er H that would occasionally bring her Jones to the Etta Frick she knew to say she had a lady problem so that she got a room with it that's kind of in the corner I guess if you need a room with a bed via isn't a bad place although possibly the grossest setting possible needless to say whenever she checks in now she no longer allowed to close the door in a slightly related story there was another guy who was so tall that he could stand up and see above the height of the curtain he also happened to be a chronic masturbator he'd either called the nurses into the room so they'd see him going to town on his dong or he'd stand up and stare at all the nurses while he beat off he's also not allowed to close the curtain anymore I had a CNA certificate and worked as a third shift CNA in a dementia ward during college I thought it would be a quiet job but apparently that's when all the weird stuff happened I had one patient that popped out his eyes I knocked on his door just for the bialy wellness check and he didn't respond walked into his room and he was just sitting on the edge of his bed like he was waiting for me I had to write the incident report after the nurse pop the eyes back in he said a ghost told him to do it he an older lady with Alzheimer's that was giving oral to another resident she apparently followed him all around the nursing home because he looked just like her husband I felt so bad having to report this incident to the husband it is required to notify kin when incident reports occur in my state since he faithfully visited her twice a day every day as anti-coup nurse we get the super-sick which also sometimes means super crazy here are a few off the top of my head one a gal who had a catheter in her femoral artery for vascular surgery standing beside her bed crapping on the floor she was supposed to be laying completely flat in bed to prevent that calf from being pulled out when we yelled at her to stop she just looked us in the eyes and kept pooping too this one wasn't me but a friend she had a patient selling drugs from her hospital bed I guess a number of people just kept coming and going from her room at all hours so they got suspicious and called security 3 we had this paraplegic who would come see us every other month he would unpack his white glove and we would get the heck out of his room we only walked in on him rubbing one out once but that was enough that glove still haunts my memories 4 had an alcohol withdrawal who was severely hallucinating and just wanted a cigarette higher level management caught me in there with her smoking I gave her an unsharpened pencil and let her pass away we got some strange looks but she wasn't screaming and was pretty content so I was happy not me but a co-worker according to her a psych patient was picking scabs off his abdomen and eating them worked as a tech at a local hospital one night a woman came in via ambulance in full cardiac arrest she died a little while later after she passed myself and another tech were told to go make her presentable for the family you know remove the tubes needles straighten her sheets and gown she was a larger woman so we were bent over her going about our tasks when she moved not a little a lot as in she almost sat up she was having post-mortem spasms think it's called Lazarus syndrome anyway we freaked the Frick out and ran screaming from the room all the doctors and nurses nearly pee themselves laughing thankfully the family had not arrived I work at an assisted living place they are not really called patients there they're called residents regardless saw an 85 year old guy jerking it to pornhub while his wife was in the next room with the door open she's basically 100% deaf and I'm sure he's just making sure his prostate stays in check still kind of weird to see I have a story from the patient's perspective I was in the hospital with a tortuous appendix surgery went well and I was going to be allowed to leave after one night the morning I was set to leave I'm completely doubled over in pain but they wanted to make sure I could walk before I was allowed to check out I do so like a 110 year old man and get the okay to leave well being unable to hardly even move I asked my mother to put my socks on for me to which she proceeded to do at this moment a nurse walks into a slightly open door with my mom bent down in myself standing in front of her the nurse exclaims oh my gosh - which was followed up with I'm his mother it took the nurse a moment to realize that I was not getting a blowy from my own mom but instead was just getting helped with my socks and shoes I was of course in severe pain and laughing brought on the worst of it so my mom and I both had to do our best to forget about the situation and not speak of into I could handle the pain of hysterical laughter TLDR nurse thought I was getting a [ __ ] from my mom responded to a very flamboyant AIDS related dementia patients standing on the bed warding off his family by urinating and spinning I'm circles while screeching like an eagle and flapping his arms bonuses he had inserted his heart monitor box into his anus and had the cord trailing out which made him appear to have a tail with all five of the electrodes flying in various directions he had also pulled his eyes out during the spinning and had painted all four walls and his family with blood as I am walking in the patient's brother begins screaming at him to stop acting like some goddamn chicken bird and proceeds to tackle him pinning him to the bat so that we can reset the crazy for the next hour TL DR male patient insert square peg telemetry box into round hole anus stands on bed rips out IV and spins in circles screeching like a bird when I had my baby our nurse walked in our room rather abruptly looking scatted she said she just walked in another room where the dad had their newborn on his nipple as though he was nursing the baby apparently the mom was sleeping and the dad used what he knew to calm the baby down my wife is a nurse and to stick out in my head the first being a guy from a psych ward in for some kind of virus her and another nurse knocked and hurt ready so they went in it was at this point that the patient says aim they walk in to be met ten featuring away from his brown eye pointing right at them he was on his back with both legs pulled back and spread before they could respond he yells fire and proceeds to projectile crap towards them luckily he must have misfired and only made it about eight feet they said and thin left the room and bribed another nurse and tech to clean it up cost him a pizza for lunch ii was walking into a delivery room when the mother-to-be who happened to be 350 pounds and was explained to her friend how she had her mom and brother hold her legs so her husband could get her pregnant nurses need to be paid more yay my wife had a patient tell her a five hundred and fifty pound pregnant lady that she got pregnant by sitting on a table with a middle leaf removed her husband then somehow got below the table and went that way worked with Alzheimer's points ears and worked mainly Midnight's the whole time one night while watching Impractical Jokers I hear the one other 8:00 scream for me and the other side of the building I go see what's up and find her in an old man's room and the room was covered in blood like you killed a chicken and it ran around old man is pulling up his pants smiling while blood is pooling at his feet I asked what happened and notice her inflated catheter in his garbage can that's when I realized he ripped it out and told him to drop his pants when he did you could see that the ball was a bit too big for his manhood to manage and it split like an overcooked hotdog and was bleeding all over the place I had to hold it all together and call 9-1-1 while the 18-year old co-worker screamed and threw up it was a long night not a medical professional but I had a doctor tell us a story about them monitoring an expectant mother she was hooked up to the normal heart rate monitor as well as the baby heart rate monitor all of a sudden both heart rates spiked very high when they go to investigate they find the mother smoking crack in the hospital waiting to deliver her baby that poor baby if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: UE Stories

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Keywords: doctors, doctor stories, medical stories, medical, awkward, awkward medical, awkward moments, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: g4e9EmNo72o

Length: 25min 51sec (1551 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 28 2020