What's The Weirdest Scenario You Woke Up To After Drinking? (r/AskReddit)

what's the weirdest scenario you have ever woken up to after drinking it was January of my freshman year at college in tempera I woke up on a park bench next to a homeless man he said to me when he saw me waking up you looked cold so I covered you up I was covered in a rather dirty blanket upon sitting up and experiencing those first shooting hangover pains the homeless gentleman who has now introduced himself as Steven reaches into his bag and pulls out a flask handed this to me and said this will help it did I tried to give Steve what I had in my wallet little more than $20 but he refused so I asked him if he slept there often he said yes so I went to Target later that day and bought the most comfortable blanket I could find had one of the elder students buy a handle of captain and scored a 20 I went back to that same bench and sat there for a while until Steve arrived gave him what I had bought and told him that he was the nicest person I'd ever met I woke up to a homeless man cooking beans on my stove he then offered me some which I ate because I was so hungover took me a good hour or two to figure out he was onlus woke up on a mate's doorstep outside wearing a different set of clothes to what I was originally wearing this mate wasn't even out that night he woke me up at 9 a.m. as he was leaving for work had loads of bird crap on me as well on a train let me tell you there is nothing like waking up on a freakin train and not remembering going to sleep on one I woke up on the PATH train subway between NY NJ once it like 4:00 a.m. I remember getting on it at like midnight apparently I had ridden it a few times I once woke up with a girl I didn't know and two of my fingers were broken I didn't ask her name and just dropped her off so while I never really know what happened a month later I woke up with her again and had to go to the hospital because my foot was still bleeding still don't know her name but she may be a harbinger of my death she'll end up your wife that's how these things go three states away from where I started alone on a bench in a rest area on i-95 luckily I still had my parents bulletin glasses after a night of drunkenness glasses are the first thing I make sure I have I don't know why my first reaction is make sure you can see better instead of make sure your identity can't be stolen and ruined I woke up curled up in bed with my best friend's parents worst wake up ever lol story now I woke up in Korea I started drinking in Japan it wasn't until I realized the hotel TV was talking to me in Korean did I realize I was in a different country that the one I started to drink in apparently flying a plane drunk is easier than it sounds after quite a drunken snowy night in college on a nameless island in northern Maine my friend and I woke up sunburned on a beach in a national park surrounded by Asian tourists taking photos around us I still don't know how we made the ten-mile ride and I don't know what foreign tourists were doing in Maine life is full of mysteries woke up fully dressed with that feeling that something bad happened reached over for my glasses which were nowhere to be found decided to check my phone for clues but it was gone wallet empty passport gone decided to shower and get cleaned up and discovered a fairly bad cut on my bicep wandered into the kitchen in my holes and people start asking me where I went the night before Frank I was hoping they could tell me but the mystery remains still look at that scar every now and again and wonder WTF happened right kidney gone once in college after a late-night bender me six-person dorm were awakened by yelling in the living room one guy was missing a tooth another guy had a broken collarbone broken tooth guy pushed collarbone guy into a wall because he thought the tooth was his fault this a broke the collarbone and we ended up calling Em's whither he fell down the stairs story we also found the missing tooth in a glass of milk in the fridge crazy day another time much earlier in life I woke up in the bushes outside a house with one shoe on late for an interview and covered in mud friends picked me up and we went straight to the interview I could barely talk had to buy a pair of sandals there and smelled awful I got the job Hollister really doesn't give a crap for your information I heard that if you knock a tooth out putting it in milk increases the chances of a dentist being able to stick it back in see Mr X below one I woke up at a marina at 6:00 a.m. with my left arm and leg hanging off the edge over the water no freaking idea how I got there - I woke up in a fire pit with more than ten friends screaming frickle frick frick frick at three stayed over at a friend's house he had an awesome loft bed over a normal bed I fell asleep below and he above we both woke up in the bed opposite to the one we'd fallen asleep in I had a friend who would always fall into the fire every time we held a bonfire I'm serious when I say every time we ended up having to assign a fire protection person after a while and eventually he learned his lesson once I woke up next to my friend and we were both in our underwear on a soaking wet bed with cups everywhere and the bathroom sink running a week later I woke up wrapped up in my comforter and sleeping on my longboard with my hands in my shoes I should probably slow down on the drinking Frick it dude woke up alone in the bathtub naked except for a pair of socks clutching a piece of burnt toast no butter woke up still drunk and stoned on the couch in the suite room of my friend's college dorm I woke up from the sound of two adults walking into the suite my friend suite mate had dropped acid and called the paramedics on himself because he was throwing up by sat up and sat there perfectly still watched them examined him and then strapped him into a chair to take him out nobody acknowledged my existence in the morning I wake up in the same location from someone coming into the room it's the suite mate he's in a hospital gown with electrodes stuck to his chest he escaped from the hospital this sounds like a fun game drop acid call the hospital police and then try to escape he won I blacked out on Halloween one year with my last memory being stumbling away from a riot because I didn't want to get busted for underage drinking I woke up the next morning in my own bed with no idea how I got there the back of my shirt was covered in mud I had a huge gash on my leg and my phone and iPod were gone also I somehow managed to lose my socks even though my shoes were still on apparently I attempted to ride my bike home from my neighbor's campsite approximately 15 yards away woke up next to a dumpster bent front wheel beer cans all around still not sure alone on a sailboat holy Frick me too dang good thing it had a motor because I'm a crappy sailor took it to the marina I assumed it belonged to it had some kind of sticker thing tied it up walk to the road and hitched a ride to my friend's house all of this happened at around 4 a.m. with me not wearing shoes and I still have no idea whose boat that was in bed with a friend for whom I had no romantic feelings he was super hot though no pants on no pants to be found wearing a shirt but no bra his mom walks in and says hi not so to name I have your pants they were soaking wet so I dried them for you I am still drunk very drunk and embarrassed that his mother has just ride my wet pants when I don't know why they're wet did I pee myself did I get in their hot tub wearing pants did I spill all over myself I get dressed and go to find my friends everyone is passed out so I start obnoxiously waking them up in the midst of this I notice I am covered in cuts all over my body but particularly my hands and arms nothing is making sense at this point obviously his mom then mentioned that Avast full of flowers was broken yikes I was apparently running around acting like a velociraptor and broke the vars the water from the VARs got all over my pants and I cast myself cleaning it up and failing at said tasks can either of us know what happened in his bed to this day it was a fun night before I blacked out up votes for wanting to be a velociraptor about 20 years ago I woke up one morning in the basement of the old communist party headquarters in Prague Czech Republic this was 1993 my face was in a large pool of warm yellow liquid and I was not sure how I had gotten there but Soviet flags and insignias on the walls sprawled bodies were all over the floor and on nearby tables last memory is of being in a club and having a very drunk Finnish man laughing hugging me and telling the women that he was with that we was going to take me into a nearby park kill me and steal all my money which apparently is a funny prank to play on an American student good news is that this was post collapse of the Soviet Union and the party headquarters had been converted into a B Hall the pool of fluid had come from spilled beers and the like but there was a long long moment while I was still drunk and all I could think is that I had somehow survived a bloody coup I once woke up in the back on someone's car completely naked except for the used condom I was still wearing at least you know you were the sucker and not awfully I had just woken up in my apartment after a night of drinking I wasn't feeling too well so I ended up throwing up hopped in the shower to ease my queasiness and passed out naked on the floor in front of my bathroom I wake up about an hour later and had to crap so I'm sitting on the toilet when I hear my TV I didn't remember turning it on but I'm severely hungover so I don't think much of it all of the sudden I hear little footsteps I look up and standing in my bathroom door is a little boy of about 1 or 2 years when I realized I wasn't hallucinating I noticed the kids nose was running pretty bad as the eldest of four kids my first instinct is to wipe the kids nose I shove some TP in my butt and put on my boxer briefs I walk into my living room and sitting on my couch is a little girl probably about four years old at this point I don't know what to think so I just wiped the kids nose and asked the little girl where they came from she points at my front door I asked her which apartment they live in and she had gained points at my front door I shake my head and tell them to sit and watch TV while I finish pooping as I'm walking back to my bathroom there is a knock on the door I figure it is the parents looking for their kids so without thinking about the fact that I am just wearing underwear I answer the door I am greeted by four police officers I immediately realize how bad this looks so I blurt out hey guys I just woke up and found these kids in my apartment come on in and get em one of the officers smiles and says hi because he frequents my store another calls down to the parents they came up the stairs and grabbed their kids officer just says thanks and I shut the door it's not really waking up but when I was in Tokyo for spring break I came out of my blackout after landing on the roof for the two-story house I never found out how but I'm guessing my love of Ninja Warrior played a role it resulted in two broken feet and a group of police officers carrying me down the stairs I woke up during the night in boxes and a t-shirt outdoors in the middle of February on a lounge chair at a pool surrounded by puddles of my own vomit it was not my house it was not a friend's house I woke up at around 3 a.m. noticed all of this and none of that registered so I fell back asleep I woke up again around sunrise absolutely freezing utterly disgusted and thoroughly confused apparently I got sick tired while walking home from the bar and stopped in some person's yard along the route home but fortunately it is a short ound so it was abandoned for the winter I stole a towel from their yard for warmth and walked the rest the way home yeah lucky you didn't die from hypothermia I slept on an inflatable bed in my gay friends front room he was sleeping on a sofa bed roughly eight feet away I woke up in the morning to a huge fight he had kissed and flicked his boyfriend straight twin brother while all three of them were in the bed the top floor of a two-floor McDonald's around 6:00 a.m. on a Sunday wearing nothing but a batting suit they almost always had the top floor chained off I came downstairs to a large crowd of old people getting their morning coffee I don't think any of the employees notice me slink down the stairs and out the door woke up in race car bed on a roof I brought a bottle of absinthe home for Thanksgiving for those in the US unfamiliar with AB sin as the real stuff is banned here it contains a chemical called thujone that supposedly makes you hallucinate in reality it just gives you a stoned drunk feeling most bottles have 510 milligrams of the stuff this bottle had 100 milligrams plus it was 150 proof the wormwood was literally still floating in the bottle sir my mom rarely drinks so she gets drunk off even just the smell of alcohol half a glass of wine and she's crap faced when she sees a bottle she asks oh is that the stuff from Europe I answer yes and jokingly offer her a shot which to my astonishment she takes my siblings and I are still stunned when in walks my dad dad mom is one up on your I told him oh Dahak she is he replies and takes a shot himself my brother sister and I finished the bottle and my parents go off to bed I woke up next morning covered in blood there's blood on the carpet and the chunk off my mom's kitchen counter is missing I wake my sister and ask her what happened last night here's a story my brother is 6 feet 5 inches I am NOT my brother was also trained in Brazilian jiu-jitsu by one of the Gracie's I was not so in my drunken haze challenging him to a wrestling match may not have been the wisest of decisions we went at it and during the match his elbow went through the countertop breaking a piece off and slicing his arm my sister said you saw he was bleeding and declared yourself the winner makes sense I said not really he had your arm twisted behind your neck and you were crying at the time still I drew first blood winner the imagery I have of you covered in blood sobbing and tangled up while declaring yourself the winner through sniffles is amazing I blacked out one night and woke up with a piece of buttered bread on my nightstand uneaten and another piece butter side down on my leg I gathered my wits started to question my choices in life and moved all of the clothes and other things off my bed into the chair in my room I started looking for my jeans that I had worn the night before to locate my debit card which is usually in the back pocket and while searching through the pile which had just been on my bed I came upon a plastic bag of unknown origin when I looked inside I found a rotisserie chicken so to recap I get drunk I go to the chicken place on my block and get a whole chicken I get home decide that is not enough of a snack and butter two pieces of bread I then pass out before eating any of it and sleep with bread on my leg and chicken in my bed a cat had peed on me I had passed out in a friend's bathroom while puking and managed to obstruct the litter box I would say that I smelled like crap but it was way worse than that it's summer in the last Harry Potter book has just come out I am about 30 pages away from finishing it when I realize I am already late for a dinner date with friends so I put in my bookmark and leave it on my bed at dinner drink about to stroke three of a bottle of wine next go out and commence lots of drinking I am very drunk on the way home stopped by a bodega to get a Gatorade so I won't be quite as hungover but to get drunkenly distracted and spent my last $10 on a three pack of pee magazines yes magazines old school arrived home excited about my recent purchase and set up what promises to be a nice end of the night but realize quickly turn my attention to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows of which I only have about 30 pages left to read I am easily distracted when drunk clearly I put the pee aside and start to read but immediately pass out Cole's wake up naked with opened Harry Potter on my chest tissues and lotion to my side and an open pee near my free very confused don't worry mate you are not the first and are far from the last person to have had a go to some quality Harry Potter although considering what goes on in the last 30 pages I have to question your tastes a little bit I hope someone sees this we were having a house party with a new group in celebration of an event in college and none of us had drank together before so we went big it was at my house there were a handful of people that stayed the night and I led some overly drunk sick girls stay in my room and I crashed on the couch downstairs in the middle of the night around 3:00 a.m. I wake up and decide to go check on my girlfriend upstairs as I turned the corner to start walking up the staircase there is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen that perfect eye level about 8 stairs up is a girl without pants completely off in crab-walk position slowly crap walking down the stairs as she is taking a pee she was coming towards me leaving a snail trail all the way down the stairs soaking the carpet she is completely wasted and borderline unconscious she didn't remember it the next day and I painfully had to explain to her why I needed her to clean the carpet on the staircase TL DR drunk girl FAR's pee out her cooter 'she crab walks down the stairs naked The Exorcist erotic fanfic I'd just to tell this story three years ago I was an assistant manager for a store in the city I still live in I worked there for two years and there was a hot girl that would come in sporadically a couple of times a year to purchase things from our store because there wasn't a local store where she lived at the time New York State I never really hit on her much because our store was a busy crap show and I knew she had a boyfriend but some innocent flirting definitely went on I knew she at least somewhat liked me because she would always seek me out when she did come in all in all I'd say I probably only helped her for six times over the course of those two years I worked there my last month working that job I went out one night for a friend of a friend's birthday party we proceeded to just get blitzed out out mine's at around 11:30 p.m. my friends are dancing near one of those ridiculous roped off VIP areas and the bar when they stumble backwards and bump into a small cocktail table and not the Gray Goose bottle under the floor shattering it the very last thing I remember is arguing with the manager of the bar about how to handle the situation he was telling us that we needed to pay for the bottle or leave the bar we obviously decided to leave the bar because he wants to pay retail height bar pricing for a bottle of Grey Goose they walked us out the front door and I blacked out I black back in at the hot girl from New Yorkers in my bed sucking my dong I was so confused by actually ripped my Schwartz out over her mouth with my mouth open stuttering Wow how I was still so drunk my first thought was please tell me I didn't fly to New York find this girl and fly her back here for one night I think she realized how confused I was told me to shush and kept blowing me I flicked her for the rest of the night we wake up I realize my apartment is a total and utter disaster I hadn't cleaned that entire week dishes are in my sink just a mess I tell her I was embarrassed and that I didn't remember a dang thing until I woke up all terrified like to this day I don't think she liked that I offered to drive her home without cooking breakfast for her because I was dangerously close to running late for work and I didn't want to close out my last month like a lazy slob if she tells me she'll come in and visit back day which he does I didn't tell a soul at work what I'd done after all discretion is the better part of valor after she left that day I never talked to her again a few weeks later we went back downtown to some of the same bars literally all night I had random bartenders and bar backs coming up to me high-fiving me and warning me to not get too crazy like the other night with the hot brunette you can't be making us with girls on the bar like that anymore the last time one of these threads came about a guy told the story of how he would get blackout hammered and end up on an airplane to random destinations not once or twice but continuous reoccurring instances of blacking out and ending up at the airport on plain it was an awesome story and I hope he tells it again Tyler Durden passed out at my gfs place for the first time after a Halloween party since she still lived with her folks at a time I was set up in the guest room really nice room all antique stuff much homemade red wine was consumed that evening I was laying in bed and the room was spinning badly started to feel sick so I reached over to turn on a lamp fumbled for a bit heard a weird sound couldn't find the light instead I pulled the garbage can to the side of the bed and puked into it stumbled to the bathroom finished puking back to bed and passed out for good I woke up the next morning to the dulcet sounds of my gf gently yelling what the frig with my head throbbing in utter pain I look around that weird sound I heard the glass hurricane lamp that I accidentally tossed across the room smashing on the floor the garbage can I pulled over number that was the drawer of the antique night table and I partly missed in my efforts a nice pile of purple puke red wine remember on the white carpet was smiling back up at me apparently my GF father had woken up earlier in the morning opened the door to check on me quickly closed the door and took his wife out for breakfast and coffee bless that man my GF she's now my wife of 14 years TL DR trashed my future wife's parents guestroom with purple puke the first time they let me sleep over edit grandma your father-in-law is freaking awesome for a period of time I would get blackout drunk and flickered tomorrow me one of the best examples of this is when I hit my pants containing my keys cellphone and wallet from tomorrow me I even turned the phone off so I couldn't call it turns out I hid them in the boxspring it took 45 minutes to find them black outta me is such a prick I have the same thing even though I think that my black out self is just [ __ ] once I found my phone in the fridge and my wallet in the breadbasket woke up to a boom boom boom slamming on the door laying in bed naki with my girlfriend at the time kinda had to think about what was going on and did a shout into the apartment to see if someone was going to answer the door one of the other three roommates answered the door it was the corpse naturally they come in in the four of us guys meander out into the living room to see what the commotion is one of the two cops tells us that someone called the cops on us it is about 7:00 in the morning and we were all asleep so we were slightly confused to say the least as the cops poked around our apartment to see what is going on they don't seem to find any source of the noise there is one other guy passed out on our sofa but he is hugging a trashcan so tightly could not have called the cops one of the officers radiators back to their dispatch to see if they can call the phone number back about a minute later we hear a buzzing and ringing from inside of our apartment this seemed highly coincidental so we tracked down the phone and sure enough it is the emergency dispatch number that had been called initially we were as confused as the cops and there wasn't much they could do they went on our way and we were left to figure out who called the cops this is where things got interesting for us the phone belonged to a friend of ours that was in town for the weekend however that friend was nowhere to be found after we determined that our friend was no longer with us we proceeded to call the police drunk tank hospital nobody had our little buddy in their possession his wallet was at the apartment also which led us to believe that he was in the drunk tank most of the day went by and we just played video games waiting for our friend to surface a cab pulls up sometime later and he pops out telling us that he had no idea what happened apparently the kid called the cops because he was so drunk he thought he needed help without making sense to the dispatch they send someone over but not before this kid walks out of our apartment in ghoster who knows where only to end up dazed and confused TL DR our friend called the cops on himself HRM my time to shine one once woke up naked in a garage covered in kerosene 2 once up to my father telling me that I had to get off the bathroom floor and to put some damn clothes on 3 once woke up to a very large confused somewhat angry black guy in my apartment who wandered up there looking for someone for I hadn't been drinking but my roommate at the time had been I woke up to blood trails and a bathroom just covered in blood I mean blood everywhere five once woke up to a loud pounding noise walk down stairs to see a guy smashing veggie soup cans into the wall and different shapes I think those are the weirdest oh and bonus I once woke up to my parents leading a co-worker into my room after he had tried to climb into bed with them and my dad saying no buddy you can't sleep in our bed and him saying but I was told it was ok yet I think we're gonna need you to expand on points three five one time I woke up in the middle of a cornfield and it took me 35 minutes to find the road woke up around 2 a.m. after a night of heavy drinking I'm pretty sure it was hello a.m. walked into the kitchen to get some water and find my very large six feet seven and probably 300 400 lbs friends sitting on the floor in nothing but his tighty whities with a half-eaten box of pizza in his lap he hasn't seen me into the kitchen yet but I see him he then picks up a large slice and proceeds to slap himself in the face with the pizza over and over again all the while berating himself for getting so drunk again being so fat etc funniest strangest thing I have ever seen I watched for a few minutes and then went and took the pizza from him the rest of the night he basically slept in the bathroom hugging the toilet while puking still in nothing but his white underwear went home with a girl on a one-night stand to an apartment that she lived in by herself I woke up the next morning to her dead busting in yelling Brooke wake up your sister is having a baby and I have been trying to reach you since 1:00 a.m. Dart it was a little awkward at first but it only got worse when she brought me to the hospital with her so she could fake that we were dating and not look like a W in front of her family I even got to meet the newest member of the family went to bed on a one-night stand woke up to a birth that's kind of cool though woke up missing the better part of my big toe I woke up on a sofa in someone's living room no idea where I was with a ginger kitten attacking my hand my friend once woke up in a busy train station with a load of Chinese tourists taking pictures of him woke up at 6 a.m. to my roommate knocking on my door did you bring someone home with you last night he says um don't think so I say okay there is someone in our bathroom I tried to go in but she won't let me and he says he hands me a wooden dowel and says maybe I should try I opened the bathroom door and that is when I started to get a little weird there is a woman in our bathroom naked long string black hair overweight hunched over the toilet bowl top of the tank off to the side digging around in the tank muttering to herself the bathtub is overflowing onto the floor a bit in the bathtub there is a single pair of stockings I just stare for a moment draw drops then say you can't be here she turns around and yells get the Frick out of my bathroom and slams the door so now I am face to face with a door jaw still dropped I turned slowly to face my roommate maybe we should call the police I say i call 9-1-1 and say okay there is a naked woman in my bathroom and she won't leave can you help 9-1-1 lady says hahaha please don't prank 9-1-1 and hangs up i called back yet i am not frickin around please help cops shows up with a look of incredulity on his face yes there is a naked lady in our bathroom no we don't want her here you will understand when you see her cops tries to open the door door is slammed in his face he looks at us he now understands he pushes door open and lady still naked dashes out into the middle of the living room he starts to move after her she runs around to the other side of the coffee table he chases her they go around the coffee table a few times before he finally catches her she is now handcuffed in the middle of our living room naked the cop looks calmly in my direction then back at her then back at me and says can I borrow a sheet he covers her up and takes her away it is now 6:45 a.m. I go back to bed but I don't sleep I just lay there with a WTF cloud drizzling on me for the rest of the day woke up at around 7 a.m. on a Thursday in a room I didn't recognize took stock of the situation dawned asleep next to me naked except for a beanie stained glass picture posted glowing in the window pantless with little splatters of blood all up the arms of my shirt no visible wounds on either of us I figured it was high time to bail so I got dressed as quietly as I could and left I almost made it back to my dorm scot-free when I passed by the Board of Visitors stumbling bedraggled and hung over in a shirt covered in blood in a park approximately 103 miles away from my house with nothing in my pockets and also missing a shoe 103 miles is oddly specific if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now [Music]

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 51,866

Rating: 4.8277154 out of 5

Keywords: astronomiater drinking, after drink, waking up, the next morning, next morning, morning, weirdest, scenario, weird morning, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: Yrf7K-1nFJc

Length: 32min 19sec (1939 seconds)

Published: Sun May 31 2020