What's The Craziest Obviously Fake Story A Liar Has Told You? (r/AskReddit)

people who know a compulsive liar what ridiculous obviously fake story have they told you the air force let his dad keep his jet fighter when he retired and would drop him off at the school secret landing strip this was June of a year of high school I grew up in a pub and we had a lot of regulars one guy in particular was consistently lying to the point I assumed he was just 70 odd and trying to wind people up eventually it became clear he was the just an almost pathological liar people would tell stories about how even as a child he would claim to have a diesel-powered Train Set at home when shown someone's electronic won the best light he told me was the time he came into the pub after leaving a tab and paid for a month or two saying he was going to pay it off at the weekend because he was about to come into some money he'd just been digging in his garden and he found a small trove of old coins he knew they were valuable by the dates on them and sent them to the British Museum for valuation he said the finder's fee on the eldest one alone could cover the debt 1,000 times over the eldest coin he found apparently had 150 BC written on it I ain't that a liar took me far too long to realize why 150 BC would not be written on a coin one guy tried to convince me once that he had a full-blown ugr playing arena with the hologram projections and everything was he called Seto I knew a guy who among hundreds of other increasingly absurd lies told me that he had fricked for 24 hours straight while working as a roofer in 200 degree Fahrenheit eats no less once fell through the roof and landed on a girl's bed next to her took a crap so big that it came out of the toilet and he couldn't flush it so his German grandmother had to come into the room and cut it with scissors shouting crap devil crap devil in German fricked a girl on the dance floor of a club snorting coke out of her but abruptly ended a camping trip weekend with friends because he had to get to a fake doctor's appointment told us he couldn't feel pain on this same camping trip and picked up a rock that popped out of the camp firing but he held it for a second turns out he could feel pain she's too full she's too full that he and his friend have a youtube channel with 100k subscribers belief or God the name since he only does the recording and editing his friend supposedly uploads the videos oh and he forgot his friends last name but his first name is definitely John turns out he's the real brains behind jontron in university there was a guy who told all sort of outrageous stories about all the chicks he banged at the bar all the girls he will take home he was a decent guy outside it but his stories didn't actually make him sound good in any way it was just weird he did it but it went from just took home this awesome blonde to met this model and took her home to took home two cheerleaders yet man 3 way to man I stepped it up three chicks at the same time but then he told us you know Jane not her name but a girl in one of our labs who we all knew and was very nerdy hot yes well she was at the pool hall last night and she saw me and came over and wanted to have a game she was pretty drunk and we got flirting and she actually met me on a game if I won she'd anyways the thing is I can't even remember how it went sadly but it was my frickin story it had happened to me the weekend before and somehow it basically ended up with me striking out that's the kind of guy I am I talk about the strikeouts but it was also a funny story so I tell my buddies cause I finally have something worth sharing and here is this butthole telling the story back to me and exactly the same even with the way he struck out thankfully our other friend called him out on it that was Bill BAP oppas story man are you even trying anymore with the crap you make up a guy was mortified and it somehow went all the way to him crying cause he was a virgin what an idiot my roommate told me he filled a metal trash can with ten pounds of weed littered on fire and then got higher father smoke I don't think he knew how impractical or absurdly expensive that would be but he insisted that he did it friend at school told everyone that he was an abandoned they'd recorded a song and asked if we wanted to hear it he had the lyrics hand written on a piece of paper and the recording which him and his band that we had somehow never heard about before had apparently done at a big expensive studio in London on his mp3 player he hands me an earphone and tells me to let him know what I think of it and to be honest and plays she frickin hates me by puddle of mud oh yes I knew one of these guys through a MMORPG we both played we were good friends for a while and he always had a lot of stories to tell most of the time these stories would be a bit over the top they were usually pretty obviously fake but they were not completely unfeasible well except for one see apparently he was quite the psychological genius in fact he was so smart that he had created a complete map of how the human mind works with his map he was able to completely simulate a human personality and so he could apply people and predict their every reaction to a situation using that knowledge he could create so-called master plans which he'd used to get exactly what he wanted from anyone through a set of elaborate actions it's a pretty neat ability to have but I'm not sure why he'd use it to make me think he's full of crap the guy I used to share a cubicle with was a compulsive liar just a few of his choice lies in a college philosophy course he asked the professor how do I know if the blue I see is the blue you see apparently this blow his mind upsetting him so much that he retired early he can benchpress 1,000 pounds and could do even more if he didn't have gout he can read print with his fingertips like daredevil he's so good at picking up women that he stopped doing it because it got boring he used to be involved in a dogfighting ring and his dog would never lose because he taught a hypnosis he created spongebob despite it being three years old than him yet the kid was really something one day my ex-girlfriend brought home a black cat she told me that she into her mom found this cat in an abandoned house at our mom saw from the road and wanted to see if it was suitable for living her mom is a realtor for low-income individuals but she told me that we had to take care of this cat for a couple weeks before we could figure out what to do with it we already had three cats at a time which is already stretching it a bit in apartments living not to mention a violation of our lease now I don't know if she forgot or what but right when we started dating she had to get some things from her ex-boyfriends apartment when he wasn't home I came along because she assured me he wasn't home and I figured what the heck her ex-boyfriend had a black cat this was a cat and I could instantly tell the lies excuses began compounding when I did some research about what to do with the cat I looked into reputable shelters and found some that would clearly be good choices her reply no it's my responsibility to figure out what to do with the cat because I found it what I then told her my brother offered to take the cat her reply I don't really like your brother I then told her my parents offered to take the cat a reply driving two hours in the car will make the cat too scared after about a week of this I told her I knew the cat was her ex boyfriends cat I knew that he a drug addict and general douche must have lost his housing or something and now we're taking care of his cat because he had no one else to call I told her I knew this instantly and wanted her to admit her lie to me instead of me forcing it out of her she then got super mad and started screaming at me that I let her carry on lying to me for a week her house was for sale on eBay an exchange student in her house was her estranged brother then he was her boyfriend and we'd all miss her that he was her brother she was half dutch 1/4 African and 1/4 Spanish she looked like the lead singer of The Rasmus except with very thin brown hair instead of black a friend of mine told her household bleach was the same as hairdressers bleach she dyed a patch of her hair and it fell out so she wore a headscarf and said she had cancer she qualified for Julia Spanish Eurovision when asked why she wasn't in any of the photos she took stole from Internet we were told everyone was too busy rehearsing to photograph her her dad owned an airline she's a Spanish princess or maybe she was an African princess maybe both she spoke Dutch Spanish and English fluently was regularly caught out by native speakers still continued claiming it was true it's a different dialect e.t.c she got the highest possible marks in our final exams got a scholarship for one of the most prestigious colleges in our country it was putting it off for a year to focus on singing she was still knocking around the town three years later she knew loads of celebrities and the badly photoshopped pictures of her with them were proof she added random symbols to her name to make it look more Dutch for example she added an e with Karen and a German OD irises into her surname yet still pronounced it as it was prior to the symbol addition due to her african heritage she thought the black girls in our school would be cool with her calling them the n-word one punched her in the face and broke her contact lens in her eye cool cool except she kept switching which I was closed when she didn't think anyone was looking oh she was a rapper and showed me and a mate one of her raps it was that I wear khaki pants my middle names Lance my grandma's from France wrap from scary movie 3 she was the most ridiculous person ever but the lies were hilarious oh boy have I been waiting for this ok let's say my friend as BR well one day me and BR were at school and eating lunch with a couple of friends he decides to tell us a story of what happened to him at a local flea market before we start the main part of the story let me say that selling any kind of animals at the flea market is not allowed anyway BR says he was at the flea market and looking around and a guy came up to him and asked him very quietly if he wanted to buy our iguana he said yes BR and the man wander around until they can find a quiet spot with a few empty tables it turns out the reason for this was because the man has the iguanas and his prosthetic leg as you can see this is where I stopped believing him but I kept listening because I thought it was funny so the man dumps all the iguanas out out onto the table in front of them the man starts going through them telling BR which ones he likes when one of the iguanas turns around and bites a man now I know what you're thinking ok a man smuggling iguanas in a prosthetic leg gets bit by one ok highly unlikely but I guess it could happen yet you're right but this was no ordinary iguana it was a miracle iguana BR proceeds to tell me that when the iguana bit the man it must have given him chemo because he started acting sick after it bit him now I'm not sure who he thought he was fooling at this point but it wasn't me I called him out I said BR you know chemo is a cancer treatment not a disease right he said oh it is it must have been Lyme disease then I said nope Lyme disease mainly comes from ticks he said ok then bird flu I started getting ready to say the very obvious comeback and before I even got finished he interrupted with the yeah I know it comes from birds but yeah this is by far my favorite story he's ever told me he likes so much like this I got to the point when I didn't believe anything he said without seeing proof of it and even then I was skeptical hit by a bus five times and was born in Australia but never travelled in his life we're in England maybe that last bus hit him so hard he flew halfway across the planet not told directly to me but to other people that she has leukemia therefore she's not able to get pregnant then accusing someone of getting her pregnant saying that her brother died then posting a picture with him the next day she was probably the worst compulsive liar I've ever met I mean if you're going to lie at least make your stories consistent his dad was the manager of ac/dc I knew his dad he wasn't he watched her bunch of soldiers get killed by king cobras in egypt he got bitten by a great white shark in the leg but he killed it with a knife that he was 300 years old and used to be the king of my backyard we might have been 6 years old but I saw through your dirty lies Sam Kidd was 200 years old at best that she vomited up her baby and that's why she was no longer pregnant not me but a professor my professor taught screenwriting woot woot film school and one day he decided to go out and find the next Hollywood blockbuster or whatever eventually he was contacted by a neighbor in college about this woman on their swim team that had an amazing story he goes to check it out there he meets a woman building from chemotherapy I think in her 40s he never told us her age but based on her life story she had to be on the older side when my professor asked her about her life she opened up to him she was ex Navy and was honorably discharged due to a mission gone wrong basically her and the other soldiers were disarming bombs of some type can't remember if there were land mines or the ones that float around in the sea many of her friends and teammates died including the one dude having an affair with her she claimed the US government would never let the story leak afterwards my professor and this woman continued talking about her life she had a journal in which she recorded everything that happened he would sometimes take her to the hospital so that she could encourage other cancer patients to stay strong during their ordeal and also for chemo treatments things became weird when my professor couldn't find anyone to back her story up everyone who know about the botched mission was dead and her friends would mysteriously cancel meetings at the last minute my professor didn't wanted out the story of a brave soldier recovering from cancer but it was just too weird so he called the high school she told him she attended to check her story there was no record of her attendance at the high school of course my professor confronted her about it she immediately turned tail and ran months later he saw her picture on the cover of a sports magazine she was a blind skier now turns out that woman didn't even have cancer she spent hours at the hospital to keep up the act and even gave talks to real cancer patients about hope he told me he was the head of the accuser clan and they wants him to go back to Cali to run it he also told me he was raised by Buddhist monks and his mom's a terrible person who hates him he's Cambodian he has the patience of a six-year-old and his mom used to give him a couple hundred every month when he roomed with one of my best friends he honestly thinks we believe him one of my co-workers is legendary for fantastic tales as a child he visited an Italian deli where the Mafia Don sat in the back of the store each customer would kiss his ring as they passed by while serving as a major in the Marines he realized he left his lunch at home no problem he borrowed a Black Hawk flew to his house and repelled down to pick it up we work for the railroad and our freight line passes right next to the Milwaukee Airport several years ago a plane came in too low and it's wheels scuffed the roof of the locomotive as it passed over and many more Greg Greg was a compulsive liar the likes of which have never been witnessed before on this planet Greg had many a fable that he tried to convince us were true some of his more popular ones he'd lost his virginity when he was 13 in France his dad was a notorious biker gangster he was wanted by local drug dealers for beating someone up he's had to beat someone with a bat forgiving his sister crap I could go on with the list but there was one time that sticks with us the most it was Greg's 16th birthday and we were all round his house having a few beers and whatnot as the evening went on Greg's cousin wanted to go home she lived five minutes walk away so he and another friend walked her home on the journey to her house they pass a local bar where there's usually fights and whatnot and it was getting heated out the front Gregg being the superhero that he is decided to intervene and stop these Goliath's trying to kill one another when he got home he recited a story with pure passion I ran in there told them to calm down and this one Giza was having none of it and swung at me so I ducked and hit him in the stomach and he dropped and I booted another guy in the chest and head-butted him then he tried to get up so I got him in a chokehold and choked him the freakout whilst telling this story and demonstrating the different hits he dealt out my friend who was with them was waiting patiently behind him to finish his story once Gregg was finished with his little recap of events my friend loud and clearly stated no Gregg walked up someone swung at him missed Gregg fell over anyway so he walked back even Gregg's mom was shocked at his level of commitment to his own lies and got into your food so I had to throw it out did vey Steve did they you have been visited by the magical sugar jar Pago he will only share his sweetener a few comments sugar please mister Papa if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 13,749

Rating: 4.8709679 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, best of, reddit best, reddit top posts, compulsive liar, Fake Story

Id: gwjQcrcUMgU

Length: 18min 11sec (1091 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 21 2019