What Weird Things Has Your Family Done To Try And Help?

my grandmother insists on calling newspapers trying to get me a job as a journalist I not only have a job that have never expressed any interest in journalism what if your family members done that is inexplicable to try and help you not me but a friend she was setting up interviews for her eighteen year old son in hospitals and doctors offices when I asked oh is he interested in going into medicine number but I always wish I had her son didn't keep a single appointment she made for him good for him one day my little sister asked for my CV so she could base her own off it a few days later I get an email from Google Dublin telling me my job application had been rejected a conversation with my very embarrassed sister revealed my mother had put her up to it they sat down together and filled out the job application with gem such as QED why do you want to work for Google eh because I love technology might imagine whoever viewed my application thought it quite ballsy for music and Chinese language gradual to apply for the post off senior technical programmer - this would pay me off on an unbelievable level similar thing my grandma does my girlfriend and I both have great full time job starting in our career my family lives about 60 miles away in my hometown my grandmother sends us clippings from the newspaper of random job postings and hopes I'll move to back home all completely unconnected to our jobs she also insists every month when we visit that we should set up an apartment in her basement and live there instead of having to pay rent somewhere I love her daily but that would be just a little too weird I visit personally about once a month sometimes more with traffic it takes about 1.5 hours aaww that's kind sad and sweet my grandparents try to set me up with a woman they like every time I meet them my girlfriend finds it hilarious but it drives me insane they look for nothing and a woman but floral print tell them you prefer leopard print when I lived at home the toilet was right next to my dad's bedroom whenever I would be in there late at night wanting my privacy he would wake up all startled and yell out to check I was okay and not sick nope not sick just taking a crap like every other time you've asked there me this question my mother is a professional musician and had no greater desire than for me to be the same immediately after entering college I completely minimized my time and music as much as possible and maintain a scholarship for said music and put all my energy into Medical bio currently finishing two doctorates in the medical sciences so it is not like I slacked off she somehow found out almost a year after I did this sometime during sophomore year and then called the school and the music department multiple people demanding that they require me to spend more time with music and get me back to acceptable levels of performance does that count I think that counts it counts my grandfather insisted I call some random teacher he met at the grocery store to set up an internship for my last semester or college when I would have to student teach no amount of explaining could convince him that that's not how it's done I have to apply through my university and my county and they would assign me a classroom and a teacher he would call once a week and say I was ungrateful for not taking him up on his hope when he had worked so hard and why couldn't I just make one small effort to help my future and secure a classroom I felt awkward because well it's pretty awkward to call up someone your grandfather met at Publix and explained that you don't need their help anyway eventually I start feeling guilty and call this woman up when she picks up I say hello my grandfather gave me your number because he thinks that and she responds with don't worry sweetie he pretty much old man guilted me to give him my number I know you can't control when you're placed in your internship by super-awkward it sounds like she really tried to make it less awkward my mum says she will clean my clothes and then I don't see some shirts and pants for a few weeks it's really strange I don't frickin know where my recently laundered clothes go but it's nowhere in this house that's for fricken sure it doesn't matter if I all my parents did the laundry if I'm not the first one to the dryer I won't see my clothes again untill they magically reappear in the laundry hamper B they're not in my parents clothes either I've checked those I just don't understand this my friend who was a cook offered me a delivery job at 18 at Quiznos I told my mom that I was thinking about it she got mad emailed Quiznos corporate and about how it was irresponsible to offer me a job and that the manager was terrible all written in poor English bTW the message went to the manager who went to my friend who read it embarrassingly in a car full of my friends he thought she was helping me because delivery is dangerous and maybe to focus on studying but really she was just being a strict Asian mom there was an Everybody Loves Raymond episode like this when Robert wanted to work for the FBI or something and his mom kept mailing the guy in Lackey suit every time I'm out with mom she tries her damnedest to pick up girls for me no matter the place she's left my number for cute waitresses girls it helped me into fitting rooms bartenders etc it's never subtle either always my son is single you know and very handsome and has a job and car I'm 26 I am NOT Jewish that seems to be a commonly asked question can someone explain to me why that is also I'd like to post a pic of me and my mama but I'm on alien blue once I get home I can put it up number my mama is not single she is in a very happy and loving relationship although she is very flattered and is blushing now quote from her oh my goodness I'm blushing I like this site already such nice people if she only knew [Music] when I was working for a big company my mom would send me any and all news articles about them filling up my inbox yes mom I know I am working for them my grandpa does this with my alma mater but he's old school and cents newspaper clippings I think it's cute : thanks everyone for the username love my mom sends me big packages of food all the time because she thinks that I'm starving she doesn't realize that people lose weight on purpose my mom does this too I'm a college student living on oatmeal and turkey sandwiches I'm ecstatic when I get home cooking my grandmother used to steal entire trays of individual jelly packets for me to help me save all of the money I waste buying jelly I think I've bought jelly twice in my life thanks to everyone for listening to what was on my mid drapes up until a week before I was graduating high school my grandma keeps telling me to go out for the basketball team in hopes that I would get a scholarship she only thought I had a chance because I'm tall never played basketball before after leaving University with a master's in economics and marketing my dad an explicably offered to put me through a year-long graphic design course because I done some drawings of footballers at France 98 which were quite good I was 12 traced them from some magazines and for the past 10 years haven't done any form of art that actually sounds really sweet it sounds like he thinks you are really talented and is proud of you I sang in chorus in high school and my parents won't forget it honey I'm 48 now 48 every family event they have a few cocktails and try and get me to sing that song I did that time oh you mean the solo I did when I was 16 ye know recently I was visiting my parents for a meal and was told by my dad to be careful with a dish because I always break things I asked him what the heck he was talking about apparently I dropped a bowl of soup once when I was about 13 I'm 44 now I really want my relatives to stop setting me up on blind dates and the talk of marriage with the son of some friend I've been in that boat why yes I'd love to date some girl you think is perfect for me based on your vague knowledge of my favorite color in that I like cars my mother insists on buying cute clothes she finds on sale for my fabulous tiny dog to wear yes big gay dude fabulous tiny dog and all that but no tiny dog needs 47 yes really 47 I donated them to the rummage sale for my local humane society coats and shirts no matter how fabulous he is I don't even have 47 shirts and I'm a big gay dude with a fabulous tiny dog the upshot is the Humane Society makes a few bucks from them though let her love her grandchild my mom tried to help me once when I was a freshman in college I went home for the weekend and brought my gf with me but my mother decided then was the time to reveal that she kept my preserved foreskin in her jewelry box and proudly displayed it to her row that goes way up the creepy parent scale my dad forced me to stop taking guitar lessons because it is affecting your grades I maintained a 4.0 in high school did all of my homework and would then proceed to play guitar for about eight hours a day he actually threatened to burn my $800 Scheckter I have no idea why he thought I was ruining my life I had a job studied and just loved music my mom once mow the lawn while I was out to help me get my chores done but she put the blade on as low as it went and absolutely scalped the lawn it was scalped down to bare dirt and there was dirt blowing all over the yard she said she didn't notice it took months for the grass to grow back you didn't have to mow the lawn for months after that seems like your mom helps you get your chores done more than you realized once when I was little I told my grandmother I liked her pickled red beet eggs these are hard-boiled eggs that have been soaked in a brine made out of beets they are slippery and pink I don't remember this but it must have happened because she makes them for me now every time we visit God dang for some unknown reason my mother told my grandmother that I really like eggs hard-boiled eggs went to Croatia for a week first time since I was four visiting family we were staying at my grandmother's house and most meals had eggs lots a dozen sometimes just for me in the cellar there were hundreds of them waiting I have never eaten so many eggs in my life my mom threw away my wall at one time I was mad as heck because I lost 200 bucks she thought just because there was a Batman sign on the wallet it was a toy and obviously all toys should be thrown away perfect logic at every family gathering my meme asks me to play the piano for everyone to enjoy I had two months off lessons when I was eight sixteen years ago I have not touched her piano since I was asked to play at my grandfather and uncle's funeral I never really got past chopsticks grandpa and uncle were not the same person although it did happen in Oklahoma and that sort of thing is not unheard of you should totally play chopsticks at the next family funeral Uncle John always loved this piece my dad always tries to give me life advice even though he made pretty bad choices in life and still does his advice usually involves me spending money on stuff I don't need my dad always tries to give me advice that's rooted in outdated gender roles and how I should hate women I work as a voice director for animation and absolutely love my job I've been doing it for over 10 years and in a good week I can make ten thousand dollars my dad is still trying to get me to go back to school and get a law degree every time I arrived at my grandmother's house she would force me to drink a full pint of milk and insist that I brush my teeth vigorously with her homemade toothpaste the toothpaste was made with grinds of lime and mint leaves as well as some cleaning products this continued till my late teens until she sadly passed away cleaning products wrought not for me but my parents tried to get my brother to go out with a girl my dad worked with because they liked her better than the GFR for years he had bTW they wanted him to cheat on his GF just to give the other girl a chance I am writing producing and directing my own comedy CC animated series I am employing five animators full-time and have four part-time staff I live in the middle of central London in a huge house with nine of my friends and my mother and the rural Midlands of England still sends me links to local teaching jobs but she also sends pictures of her new puppy so I don't mind also I think she misses me give your mom a call my mother-in-law does my laundry without asking she has shrunk expensive shirt sweaters mind you I never buy expensive clothes she has bleached items not meant to be bleached she has also always puts my stuff away where it doesn't belong and usually forgets where she put it my mom does this she will go into my room when I'm not there to stop her take clothes and wash them she shrunk a 200-dollar sweater after I showed it to her made her hold it and said to her face never wash this ever I'm still bitter my mother did a thousand things that drove me insane a lot of the stuff she did is the same stuff I see in this thread she would write my name on my underwear on every book I owned and engrave it onto things that wouldn't keep ink she'd do the laundry but seemingly had no idea how to do laundry my entire life she had to straighten things up which consisted of taking everything in the room and putting it in one pile papers cellphone empty coke cans you name it this is even when I was 40 years old in my own house with a wife and kids she'd constantly tell me and my wife we needed more furniture more things on the walls more knickknacks it's basically clutter our house up like she did to hers she was a pretty annoying person for the most part but she did cool stuff too like give me money every few weeks to go blow on a video game or whatever she'd take my wife shopping usually for ridiculous old lady clothes but it was a good bonding time she'd also Babis our kids almost any time we wanted she volunteered to Babis it our kids on her 43rd anniversary dad was working late despite having a stomach ache the next day she went to the doctor where she found out she had cancer the day after that she had an emergency operation which determined it was inoperable she never left the hospital and died two weeks later now suddenly all that stuff that drove me insane doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore oh man I'm so sorry I always end up driving myself crazy about all the annoying crap my mom puts me through but at the end of the day I know she does it because she loves me hopefully most of the people in the thread will also realize this I had my first child at 18 my cousin had couples excited about adopting my child I was sent home studies and called by interested people I never ever said anything about adoption I'm a fairly successful artist I create royalty-free artwork and manipulated photography which I so repeatedly to publishers usually the same group of publishers I do OK at it though I could use more time to invest in the work as opposed to looking after my two kids but that's just life none of my family understand what it is I do it's one of those what my family think I do what I really do situations they think I'm some kind of paint on canvas artist and just cannot get their heads around the idea that I do everything digitally I am happy with my client list and I don't screw around with print media because that's not my bag so every time my family meet up with me they always say oh that reminds me we met a man on holiday who owns a pub and he needs his pub sign ray doing we gave him your number or oh that reminds me your uncle ex has opened a dodgy new takeaway joint and Eve's fliers printed so we have him your number etc change your number give your family a Google Voice number with only them on the white list then give friends and clients your real number nobody but then will be able to call you my grandmother was a nasty blueblood rich woman years ago until she blew all her money millions on furniture and stupid material possessions with no resale value yet he still acts like she is rich and demands the country club lifestyle she is accustomed to from my mom and aunt she really is insufferable anyways she has sent me up with rich potential husbands one of whom was a third cousin as she set up an appointment with the Dean of my school to discuss my merits mind you she lives nearly four hours away from me she invited me out to dinner for my 21st birthday at a 90 dollar steak type place so that she could culture me and introduce me to her friends and then told me to pay for her total bill was four hundred and fifty nine dollars and I'm in college this list goes on forever and every time she does things so that she can help me get ahead in life like her self TL DR lucille bluth has nothing on my grandmother my mother thinks she helps by cleaning she will chuck out bills receipts everything that's on my desk she also Chuck's out earphones I thought they were just while she has chucked out countless things and claims it's cleaning : my mom threw out all the books on my bookshelf except for an old Bible she said she was trying to get rid of clutter thanks I kind of wanted to give my kid the same Hobbit I read when I was a kid my wife's grandmother is Russian and wants me to learn the language my wife is an English teacher and she speaks better than I do so communication between us is never an issue but so babushka bought a huge carton of cassette tapes and hands them to me they are tapes for Russians who want to learn English she figures that I could listen to the Russian prompts then hear the English parts and reverse-engineer the Russian language NY et that's not how it works my mom is very religious and I'm not so she hides religious icons all over my house I'll find a crystal statue of the Virgin Mary in my toilet tank little pictures of Jesus on my storage shelves in the basement it's always a little amusing when I find some random Saints picture stuffed into a book on my shelf probably have dozens of these around that I haven't found yet firstly my family is in the class under middle-class through middle school and high school going to the doctor was too expensive and our bills weren't ever paid on time we have the financial credit offer squirrel it makes me sound shallow to say this to most people but I was bought well-intentioned expensive material things clothes cars jewelry technology everything beyond our means and it was forced into my hands despite their best attempts I remained frugal and money conscience I've handed back $300 watches and said please just pay the bills for it to be threatened to be thrown away then there are the expensive clothes and shoes that are out of style most of the clothes I like were thrift store bought or on sale but I have $200 codes hanging and touched in my closet I can't be thankful being handed essentially junked when there isn't enough food in the fridge or the lights go out , we have the financial credit of a squirrel I get the feeling that if squirrels were capable of using money they'd probably be very good at saving it up when I was finishing primary school our school gave us a choice of two middle schools to move to one was really nice in a decent area the other was a little rundown in a bad area it was slightly nearer to where I lived there was about a mile difference naturally even before seeing each school the choice for me was an easy one I would rather go to a nice school and suffer an extra 20 minutes travel than the alternative this choice appeared to be shared with nearly everybody else though and as a result we were told that not everybody would get their first choice and they would determine who would get into which school based on several factors I figured I would be almost guaranteed a spot in the nice school since I was doing well academically I was in advanced classes for maths and English I was shocked to later find out that I had been sent to the bad school this was exacerbated by the fact that nearly all my friends were being sent to the good school what followed was the worst four years of my life and some issues that I have no doubt screwed me up as a person even now when I told my parents I had been sent to the bad school my dad said he was really the thing was he thought that I would not be able to get to school on time going to the nicer school due to the extra distance in the travel costs would be higher since I would need to take an extra bus so he wrote a letter to the school board mentioning that while I preferred the nicer school he thought the bad school was more convenient I love my parents so I have never told him this but to this day I have never forgiven him for doing this TL DR my dad sent me to a run-down school in a rough area because he thought I would not like waking up earlier to go to a nicer one the result screwing me up even to this day my girlfriend sent my resume for job positions that are completely out of my league like computer engineering programmer etc had some very awkward interviews ok I'm good with computers but just because I can fix it mostly by googling the solution or I can write a 50 lines PHP plugin for WordPress doesn't mean I can manager Nix several write programs in C I need to clear up a few things I'm not interested in pursuing a career in programming it's just a small time killer fun beside ridet technically I'm unemployed however I run a few websites that are becoming more and more profitable each passing months in fact I'm not really looking for a job this is my job I can pay rent bills full paid car and plenty of gadgets to keep me busy the issue is that my girlfriend doesn't see my source of income as a real job criticizing that the income is not secure and stable I dunno I look around and honestly half of my friends lost their jobs in the past 2 years and are either struggling to find one will have to come to compromise for lesser positions I lost mine as well so much for security and stability heck she also lost her job because the company filed bankruptcy my co-workers constantly harass me to go work in computers because I connect them to printers and help them find excel sheets my mom always buys me self-help books I don't need them all want them I have a small library of things to be happy about my mum despite having forced me to go to church on Sundays weekly church youth group Church summer camp and daily morning scripture study classes before school while I was growing up seems to think that I didn't get the memo about the whole god thing so she still gives me the convention pitch every time I see her I am 36 years old thanks mom but no means no my grandmother insists on feeding me all of the food all over time forever even after I just hate the food she just gave me even when I am not hungry I don't think I'm alone in this my mother-in-law tried to take over my wedding guest list because she knew exactly who we needed to invite yes we ended up with all of her relatives very few of my friends or family she also wanted to invite all of her co-workers all of her friends and their children I finally put my foot down and told her that I had limited room limited budget and it was my wedding goddammit mind you my husband agreed with me pee off all of her relatives too because I refused to have anyone below the age of 13 there my dad dragged me around everywhere he went when I was a child he would take me on his dates - sounds cute and funny right all he would do is make fun of me and tell me how I spend all my time on computers he did this for a bit until he clued in that women don't like when you trash-talk your son or ask him questions like why don't you draw anymore which I would reply you threw out my artwork in my room so I gave up or when I just can't take the awkwardness of being an 11 year old accompanied by two mid 40 year olds trying to date with me being forced to go with them I get up and go to the bathroom walk around only to be tripped by my dad for which he turns back and laughs yet my son spends all his time on the computer I'm teaching him a lesson oh cool I get to see him today for dinner basically it's overly inspect my physical appearance and annoy the heck out of me for 30 minutes in the car while trying to grab my hat to see my reaction everything went better than expected still though there is a lot of roads to cross on my way out he was not trying to help you he was using you my parents stopped me from attending a private school that I got a scholarship to by saying your aunt's neighbor's kid goes there and he doesn't like it so you won't like it to clarify was a school from sixth grade through twelfth my parents stopped me from going into advanced math classes when I was in high school even though my teacher kept recommending them to me because girls don't like math instead of being challenged I was bored in math all through the rest of high school if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 35,314

Rating: 4.8668442 out of 5

Keywords: family, crazy family, inexplicable, grandmother, insists, get a job, trying to help, help, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: 2oS4VOWv1rU

Length: 27min 1sec (1621 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 15 2020