School Nurses, What's The Craziest Reason A Kid Ended Up In Your Office? (r/AskReddit)

school counselors nurses offered it what is the most embarrassing or wtf reason a kid has ended up in your office when i was in second grade a boy held a pencil point up on my chair and i sat on it it traveled through my jeans and underwear without any damage and stuck fermi in my little butt cheek on this day we happened to have a substitute teacher and when i started crying she took me into the in classroom restroom and looked at my butt informed me that the tip of the pencil was stuck in there and i took off running and crying down the hall i turned a corner in the janitor ralph called out do you have a pass to which i replied there's a pencil stuck in my butt then i continue down the hall to the nurse's office the school nurse sherry was a very sweet lady she calmed me down called my mom to ask for permission to touch my butt and plucked it out i got to go home for the day i consider it a win i laughed so hard during the hallway janitor moment that actual tears were shed a boy in my seventh grade glass snorted a line of sugar he poured from a pixie stick he promptly got a severe nosebleed that would not stop and he had to go to the nurse's office and he was there until his mom could pick him up and take him home for some reason a fair number of girls started doing this is the bathroom during junior high they'd all go in there during lunch and just snort pixie stix middle school counselor here not really wtf but a seventh grader came to see me in tears because she thought she might be pregnant after some discussion i realized that she had given a handy and thought she could get pregnant from getting semen on her hands we have a student first grade who poops his pants on purpose when he wants to go home about once a week my sister used to wet herself to get taken home it took a few times for my mom to figure it out one day she pees herself mom comes up there with a change of clothes changed her in the bathroom and sent her right back to class she never did it again i put my hand through a window in high school trying to kill a bug on the window when i got to the nurse she was like sweet nothing like this ever happens in third grade a boy punched through a window because he left his watch at the french fry factory during a field trip i bet that was a fun one to explain we had about five kids fifth graders come in one day after lunch because one of the other kids brought a habanero pepper and convinced them all to try it you'd think they would learn after the first one did it nope even adults are that level of stupid my buddy is in his late 50s his wife packed his lunch for work and included some god-awful sparkling water buddy takes a big gulp and exclaims this is disgusting his body mid-40s then demanded to taste it within 10 minutes all eight grown adults in the room had tried it when i was in grade nine we were reenacting battles from wars with marshmallow ammunition in the schoolyard and somebody whipped a marshmallow right into my open eye this sounds like the wimpiest injury ever and it really was but it hurt and i couldn't open my eye or see i had to go to the nurse and explain that the black eye i was getting was from a marshmallow and she had to do like an eye rinse to get out all the powdery sugar she even called my mom and they just laughed at me my mom is a school nurse one day after the school day ended she was about to leave when someone came to get her about an emergency a student needed something from his locker in a sports locker room the door was locked he decided he would crawl into the ceiling over the door over the locker room drop down from the ceiling get what he needed and crawl back out through the ceiling the kid fell through the ceiling before he could make it inside the locker room my son's middle school had a really skittish nurse i am not sure what her qualifications were but she called for an ambulance about twice a week my son is asthmatic and had a complicated regimen back then this woman just couldn't handle it for some reason so we had to have my son take his meds right before and right after school and he had to smuggle in his inhaler but he never got flak for that until the end of his second year there one day he hit his head in shop class not bad but they sent him to the nurse she calls me at work and says i had to pick him up i told her to call my wife who worked from home and was five minutes away she couldn't process that and said no i had to pick him up i said that was silly i was at least an hour away and why my wife was primary contact she said she didn't answer the phone i sent an im to my wife and she said she hadn't gotten a call so she called the school the nurse insists that if i am anything of a responsible father i was to be there in 10 minutes or she's sending my son to the hospital wtf i am an hour away my wife can be there in five minutes so my wife gets through and the nurse speaks to her i forgot what led to this but my wife ends up in a fight with the nurse who refuses to tell her about why her son was being sent to a hospital so my wife says she'll be there in five minutes to sort it all out the nurse considers this a threat to her life and calls the cops so my wife is met at the school nurse office by the police and emts because a nurse called an ambulance during this an emt calls me because the nurse is dealing with my wife and the cops he says my son is fine just a little freaked out because some woman claiming to be my ex-wife or something is being accused of threatening bodily harm to the nurse in the end no one was arrested and my wife sent my son back to class my wife said the nurse was so crazy the cops pretty much took my wife's side right away but she was no longer allowed on school grounds because the vice principal was also crazy and scared of my wife the next time my son was in the nurse's office he was caught with his prescribed inhaler i had to come pick it up right away because it was an unauthorized potential explosive contaminant i got the call walking my dog and the school was five minutes away so i just went right over oh man the second that nurse saw my peeking ease she flipped the frick out said it was a dirty dog and some kid allergic to dogs could die and wow she wouldn't even get near me and had an office aide hand me the inhaler that woman was crazy we were dissecting rats in ninth grade and better kid that he wouldn't eat the rats bulls for thirty dollars he did he had to be taken to the hospital to get his stomach pumped because the rats balls were covered in formaldehyde i got sent to the nurse once for getting quarters stuck up my nose some kid bet me that i couldn't fit three quarters up my nose he was wrong never considered how i'd get them out one winter in junior high my classmates engaged in running across a frozen pond for kicks and giggles one of them decided he would run across barefoot and suckly for him the ice decided to break under his bare souls needless to say there were cuts and blood all over and since our school's nurse was on lunch break our maths teacher had to carry him to a nearby school where they could tend to him you know how your teachers would always yell at you when you tilted your chair back because they once had a kid bust their head open after falling yay i'm that kid me too except i didn't bust my head open i knocked out my two front teeth blood everywhere our art room was directly above the shop room both on an exterior corner of the school for some reason the shop exhaust tube was turned upside down one day making it vent directly into the art room's intake the counselors were perplexed when they had a room full of sick and loopy students they accused us of all getting high and we were all sent back to the art room until even the teacher presented with the same symptoms i think all we did was sit outside for a bit then we all continued on with our day in other classrooms guessing the creative members of society it's an attempted power grab i tell you i'll throw myself in here not a nurse but the embarrassing kid i grew up with a dairy allergy not lactose intolerance like an actual allergy where i was told that my throat were close and eyes swell up or it did the couple times when i was much younger was pretty vigilant about not eating dairy so i don't have an actual memory of a reaction well second day of my freshman year i bought a sub and checked it for cheese ate half of it before i realized there was white swiss on it i freaked out and went to the office and told them they called an ambulance and my parents rushed there and it turns out i've definitely grown out of the allergy 10 years later and my friends still harass me about the time i got scared by a sandwich and called an ambulance still embarrassed about it every time if you weren't wrong though they'd still be talking about that guy in high school who got killed by a sandwich a guy in one of my hs chem classes tried sneaking some sodium if i remember right out of the classroom he unfortunately decided he would hide it in a paper towel in his crotch he eventually sweated enough to activate it and ended up burning his crotch pretty badly school had to call an ambulance not entirely the same thing but in my freshman jin chen lab someone managed to stick a glass funnel all the way through their hand he had been trying to fit a hose around it and accidentally stabbed himself with it it didn't help that his was somewhat chipped at the end making it sharper they ended up having to call an ambulance it was rather gory lab was cancelled though i guess one man's misery is another man's fortune carol didn't wear her safety goggles now she has a hole through her hand in my high school junchem lab we had about 10 students one of which got his fingers stuck in a wooden test tube rack he hid that hand behind his back for a good amount of time before our lab teacher noticed and asked why he was doing so he ended up having to have the jewelry teacher in the classroom next door saw it off not a counselor but one time a group of boys streaked at a homecoming game at the time our football field had a crappy wire fence around it so when they made it across the field to the fence two of them made it over the third left part of his ball sack stuck to the fence i reached for my non-existent balls as i read that holy crap edit second highest voted comment is about having balls i don't colon of course my highest voted comment is about the g-spot so i guess i see who read it really is lol well when i was in year 9 a student tried to kill himself in and during a lesson this was a serious attempt by strangling himself with his own hands in front of the teachers and all of us leaving us wandering wtf he was doing well i was a student one time i had hickeys and the nurse police thought i was getting abused called my parents and everything one time i had to go to the nurse's office at school because i had a ring-shaped bruise around my mouth and the teacher and nurse thought i was being abused what really happened is that i got a cup stuck on my mouth by sucking all the air out of it the night before while i was taking a bath i had a friend who cut himself pretty deep with scissors he proceeded to try to see how many pieces of point seven lead he could stick into his body he got about halfway through one piece when it broke inside him and he had excruciating pain which he described as a burning and stinging we were only in middle school and he went to the school nurse who tried to squeeze it out of him and then just assumed it had entered the bloodstream and left him alone my ex got his dong stuck in his zipper and the nurse had to help him unzip cringe we did a starfish dissection in seventh grade and this guy in my class ate the starfish for ten dollars and never asked him how it tasted we dissected a deer heart in 10th grade a kid took a huge bite out of one for 17 he got suspended the video went crazy around school and they tried to get people in trouble for having it one time in sixth grade i was playing with scissors in my art class and cut my bottom lip i put my hand to my lip instantly out of fear and it was covered with blood i walked up to the teacher who was in the process of scolding some kid for doing something stupid with the art supplies and when he turned to me he was so frustrated he said you better be bleeding i showed him my lip he just shook his head and said go to the nurse i still have a little u-shaped scar on the bottom of my bottom lip from that incident we dissected a pig in biology in high school and a guy stuck his scalpel up its throat and was walking around the classroom quoting lines from lord of the flies needless to say he got suspended for it in second grade i went to the nurse's office with a good sized hole in my ear i fell while running to the bathroom and slammed my head into the corner of a filing cabinet the nurse had no idea what to do so she put dry gauze on the hole later it became very apparent that that was a bad idea i have one involving both counselors and nurses i have very well documented allergies to things like peanut and pet dander and dust mites and fabric softener and anything that flowers so basically i am always having some kind of allergic reaction my school had a zero tolerance policy so i had to go to the nurse and ask politely for my allergy medication on the relatively frequent occasions i would break out in painful hives after realizing i was doing this the school counselor started intercepting me to interrogate me about why i was trying to get out of class what was really bothering me and if i had found some clever new way to get high the phrase no really look at these nasty hives all over my arms meant nothing to her she eventually called my allergist to ask him hypothetically if it was possible for me to have reactions this frequently then called my parents and suggested they consider taking me to a psychologist because it might be psychosomatic it wasn't my immune system is just crap i was centered attention which inevitably also meant seeing the counselor for miss behaving in grade seven my crime i didn't stand up when i was told to i was in a wheelchair the counselor thought i was lying when i got to his office when i told him what happened so kept me on detention i got home told my mum she lawyered up and had him write a letter that scared the crap out of the principal so much i never saw that teacher or the counselor ever again i'm not sure if kids just pound the common sense out of these people or they are just morons wtf in my freshman biology in high school there were two kids who were throwing sharp dissecting objects at the ceiling while the teacher was out of the classroom to get them lodge in the ceiling like people do with pencils sometimes during our frog dissections and one of the kids accidentally stabbed the other one with a scalpel in his shoulder the kid who got stabbed got pee and punched the other kid and they both ended up going the nurse i thought it was pretty wtf sounds like a great school i was a school nurse the saddest ones are the ones that have to be sent to my office then home repeatedly for head lice the parents often don't give a crap sometimes the only solution is to have the kids shave their heads those kids are so embarrassed when i was in the principal's office in elementary school some first grader was brought in because he had peed all over the walls of the bathroom like the whole thing in the animal kingdom the bathroom is is now not a nurse one day i decided that my bully had enough fun with me so i dumped crazy glue into his hands and told him it will make your hair gleam once he put his hands into his hair insta stick he spent three four hours with the nurse cutting his hair he didn't come back to school for three weeks when i was in first grade my parents bought me some ridiculous costume jewelry and i decided to wear a flimsy metal ring comparable to what you'd get from a gumball machine to school one day for some dumb reason i decided to stick my entire finger in my mouth and bite down on the ring while it was on my finger it would bend from my biting it and i thought it was cool and interesting when i finally realized that this might have been a foolish thing to do i had bit down on the ring so much that i couldn't get the ring off we had a substitute that day that seemed really mean so i was afraid to say anything to her so i kept biting down on it hoping that i could somehow bend it back to its original state and i'd be able to get it off wrong i ended up biting down on it so much that it crimped down on my finger i still didn't want to say anything to the teacher for worry of getting in trouble so i just get messing with it making it worse after about 15 minutes and developing a cold purple dying finger i finally freaked the heck out and burst into tears the teacher was surprisingly nice about my little problem and sent me to the nurse the school nurse dunked my hand in ice water and then would try to yank it off it didn't work but i think the ice water bath kept me from losing my finger forever and after a half hour she called my mother my mom was is not one who's great in a crisis and freaked out as much as six-year-old me did she called my dad while he was at work she drove me there and he cut the ring off with some bolt cutters or nipping pliers in about three seconds i cried because i felt so dumb and he felt bad that i felt bad so he bought me an ice cream cone from thrifty's and got to skip out on school for the rest of the day tl dr almost docked my own finger off like a puppy dog's tail while in school dad saved the day and i got cookies and cream and the day off as a reward for being an idiot in middle school some kids in my home eck class were suspended for sprinkling weed on the pizzas they were making it was oregano i swear got a ball bearing stuck in my ear in high school went to the nurse and it was deep enough that she couldn't find it ended up calling my mom and she got it out in the school parking lot with a big magnet still got to go home for the day so it was worth it yeah b magnets you know those round metal things with bars so that kids can climb all over them i slipped on one and landed with a bar hitting my balls i had to go to the nurse and hold an ice pack on my balls until my mom picked me up from school once saw a kid snort ghost pepper powder powdy stuff got a wicked bad nose bleed and cried for two hours that kid was an idiot in fifth grade a friend of mine said his white out smelled like blueberries from being next to a blueberry scented eraser after i smell it i passed to it to another friend to smell it that said friend complained about her headache from sniffing white out and next thing i knew i was suspended for two days and i needed to write an essay explaining why i shouldn't inhale or half white toad because it could lead to hard drugs in my senior year of high school i sliced one of my fingers left ring on the soft underside almost in half lengthwise with an exacto blade moments after my art teacher warned us to be careful because two freshmen accidentally stabbed each other in the butt first period i sat there for an hour trying to secretly stem the bleeding with the paper towel help of the friends in my death group when i finally admitted what i'd done the school nurse said she couldn't help me and was about to call nine one one for an ambulance which i thought would be a spectacular waste of a couple thousand dollars so i drove myself but because i didn't take an ambulance i wasn't admitted right away and sat there bleeding for another three hours lost a lot of blood and got 11 stitches still have a scar if it's any consolation you probably would have been stuck waiting even if you'd come in by ambulance ambulance transport equals equals skipping the line of the air source have delivered patience directly from my stretcher to seats in the waiting room well i feel like this fits here somewhat so i will throw it in i took a lot of art classes in high school but so did a lot of buttholes who just wanted an easy a one such butthole sat across from me was well known for being a troublemaker and decided one day it would be cool to throw an exacto knife at me it stuck in my leg there was only one nurse for three schools in the district needless to say i dealt with it myself had a few guys like that's in high school they rode by in a truck one day throwing snowballs at us we got in a bigger truck and chased them with louisville sluggers we just wanted to play ball i once got a sent to the principal in fifth grade because i went to the nurse after hurting my knee and gym but the teachers thought that i was there to cheer on a friend who had gotten into a fight that i didn't even know happened turns out my principal thought that she knew everything about every individual kid because she took a class about child development the same principle also accused me of insubordination because i was wearing the same coat as the offender found out it wasn't me and still gave me a detention tl dr my principal was a power tripping c who got me a ridiculous number of detentions and counselor trips for an elementary school student edit this was a recurring thing throughout grade school between us the same principle also accused me of insubordination because i was wearing the same coat as the offender found out it wasn't me and still gave me a detention my brain hurts well stupid male kid here in preschool when i was around four i told the teachers i had pms they thought that crap was great they made me call my mom and tell her while they all stood around laughing turns out i had seen some commercial about some pmf relief pill and asked my mother what pms was she told me it was when you get headaches your stomach hurts and you don't feel good well my headache my stomach hurt and i didn't feel good so obviously pms i got sent to the school counsellor for playing ankles with my buddy for those of you that don't know the game of ankles consists of two simple rules one pull your pants down to your ankles two whoever pulls their pants up first loses i have never seen a more confused look on my principal's face than when he caught us and to top it all off i lost not a counsellor or nurse but i can honestly say i ended up in the nurse's office in the 8th grade because i had a mousetrap stuck to my head one of the extremely sticky kind some kid slapped it on my head hair as a joke and i nearly ripped my scalp off trying to remove it i subsequently landed in the counselor's office double win i had a first grader sticker bead up his nose while at recess the nurse's office was a small sterile closet-sized room she told him to hold the other nostril and blow for all it was worth ping ping ping that thing popped right out and bounced all over the room he told that 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Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 103,678

Rating: 4.9142046 out of 5

Keywords: school, school stories, counselor, school counselor, school counseling, embarrasing, wtf, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: KBI5K2vTliU

Length: 24min 30sec (1470 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 03 2020