What Was Your Best "Stupid Kid" Story?

give me your best stupid kid story this is a story from way back when my friends and i were just 12 years old there was this huge wasps nest outside my house that we used to pass on our way into town one day we were passing it and i heard this huge shout w-800 i look back and saw my friend dan had just thrown a massive rock directly into the wasp's nest a swarm visibly emerged from the hive and started surrounding him the rest of us of course ran with him and the angered swarm essentially chasing us every time i looked back he was flailing off another item of his clothing as the wasps were getting in under all of it once we had reached a safe distance from him i looked back to see him only in his underwear then he shouted how the frick did they get in there and started beating his own crouch incessantly trying to kill off the wasps that had penetrated his nether regions i was convulsing with laughter he ended up with an insane amount of stings and whenever we asked him why he did it he just replied i really hate wasps tl dr when my friend was 12 he threw through a large rock into a hive angered the swarm and ended up having to strip down to get rid of all the wasps under his clothing i thought your friend was stupid until he said he hated wasps i totally agree with him it was worth it my younger brother was seven years old at the time and i was stuck with him at the mall we were at the music store and i was looking at the cassette singles on the wall circa 1989 to 1990ish and he was trying to show off how long he could hold his breath he kept tugging my arm in his show-off attempts but i kept ignoring him over and over again finally he collapses into the wall of cassettes knocking almost all of them off the wall also he's passed out the floor i'm embarrassed because i'm 12 years old so i'm dragging his body out of the store while all the adults look at me like i'm a horrible person i never asked if he was okay just verbally assailed him for being stupid as i'm trying to revive him this is a horrible horrible story and i apologize to an entire race for it i grew up in a pretty small rural town in canada and unlike it is now there were very very few people of color when i was in kindergarten some 23 years ago we had a black child join our class and i guess for most of us it was one of our first experiences with someone of another race a group of kids thought it would be fun to take the chalk box full of white chalk dust from the board and pour it on him i was not involved but i remember laughing as the kids were smearing it on him i don't remember seeing him after that i only remembered this incident a couple years ago and i just feel really really bad about it i hope the kid grew up okay and it didn't mess him up stupid adult i just learned from my spell checker that i've been spelling kindergarten wrong my whole life when i was young probably between two four years old i would openly and verbally point out black people i have a vivid memory of being in the grocery store checkout line and pointing out to my mom the man ahead of us with a big smile on my face and saying that man is black at the time i was totally oblivious as to why this may not be socially acceptable when i was two or something i thought that soil was chocolate so i proceeded to eat lots of it apparently i had all sorts of things crawling out of my mouth a few years ago when i was 15 or 16 i was mixing sugar and potassium nitrate over a gas cooker outside but the mix got too hot boom it set my hair on fire and nearly blinded me as well as making my entire face look like a beetroot i have a lot of lego the mint storms stuff all the extras and whatnot one day i decided to take a few motors and step them all down so i had frick loads of torque and very low speed i stuck my finger in between the two slowest gears it pretty much ripped a whole bunch of flesh very gradually out of my finger because the power pack was within the box containing all the gears it was very hard to get it to stop i tried to remove a wart with a soldering iron once i had a big length of thick rope in the garden so i attached a few weights to it and threw it around the branch of a really tall tree i proceeded to pull myself up something like 10 meters from the ground which is heck of a freaking height when you're 10 or so once i got to the top i disattached the weights that were thrown around the branch the rope fell i had no way of getting down i sat up in that tree for a good hour or so before my mum eventually found me and brought a ladder i've done way more stupid things i'll say if i remember any of it oh here's another good one i was at my ex-grandparents house some years ago when i discovered a bb gun i shot myself point blank in the leg with it to see if it hurt it freaking hurt i used to work at a daycare during church hours and there was a two-year-old whose coping mechanism was to reach down shirts and grope a breast no joke it was comforting to him whenever a new situation came up well eventually he decided i was his favorite more that the other helpers started handing him off to me regularly so i got groped quite a bit after a while i didn't think anything of it though it was always a surprise come winter i wore a turtleneck to work one day all was well until we went to a different classroom for music time upset by this change he demanded to be picked up and i obliged he promptly set about trying to plunge his hand down my shirt for some sweet comforting boobies only to be denied by the turtleneck a cue the most explosive tantrum i have ever seen a two-year-old throw i'm not saying he was a stupid kid percent just that it was one of the dumbest situations i've ever been in and one that was hilarious to explain to the other helpers i work at a children's hospital on an epilepsy monitoring unit believe it or not we have quite a few kids that come in and fake seizures we hook them up to an electro encephalogram by placing electrodes on the client's entire upper head for it skull cap temporal lobes etc from there we can read their brain waves and watch them and their eager readings from a control room the computers allow the nurses and technicians to identify kids who have seizures we had a young girl come in one day who was 15. she seemed very normal but 15 minutes into the initial nurse to client interview she snapped into an alternate person after asking initial questions we found that this family's grandmother is a witch and has possessed this young girl she began speaking in spanish very fluently as her deceased dad of six years ago she was extremely convincing her family began asking for holy water as if we just keep this lying around the family truly believed this girl was being possessed by the dead they began asking the jig questions as if she was a fortune teller they asked how much money will we win tonight if we go to the casino she had answers but after they asked questions about whether her parents used a condom when she was conceived things got awkward for her she had another episode of her father speaking through her in spanish then slipped into a seizure quickly afterwards she shook her upper body violently shoulders moving and all usually when shoulders are moving it's a sure sign of a fake her eyes rolled back into her head and these seizures looked pretty legit her egg told a different story when a client is seizing their egg spikes erratically and is very different from the normal looking reading it is at this point the nurse i worked with rushed into the room to administer a sternal rub these hurt like crap try it apply pressure on your sternum with a fist and pointer and thumb being the point of pressure if a client is actually seizing with most seizures they won't be able to feel the pain this girl's face turned poor quick and she immediately stopped fake stupid kid we never found out why she did what she did but figured that her family encouraged it for whatever season or she could have wanted attention i got excited thinking i was seeing an actual possessed girl but she was a fraud she thought twice about fake seizing and we didn't see another seizure under our care tl dr stupid kid gets caught fake seizing stupid kid gets a hard sternal rub to provide evidence of a true seizure not even a kid an army recruit my dad was a teacher in the army on some kind of exercise camping like the army likes to do boiling eggs on a portable stove he asks some recruit to get the eggs out of the water because they are done the guy attempts to do it with his hand he obviously was not aware how hot water needs to be to cook stuff a guy i live with is in the army last christmas we did secret santa and he had to buy a present for me whilst another girl in the house had to buy a present for him christmas comes and he gives her a present because she had bought him one his words he didn't understand the concept of secret santa i never got a present from him i once saw a kid in a public bathroom who wanted to make the automatic toilet flush he waved around in front of it and the toilet didn't flush so he posed as you would normally stand if you were urinating to fake it out the toilet must know that trick because it still didn't flush it was hilarious to witness i also had a kid pee on my shoes once while i was taking a poo somehow he sprayed pee sideways from the adjoining stall i was cleaning off my shoes when the father came out of the stall with his kid he was very apologetic i told him i got kids it's cool i'm just trying to figure out how he did that the physics of standing up and pee under a wall defy science now you're thinking with portals not exactly a little kid but one of the college kids volunteering in a lab i worked and said you could set your finger on fire and it doesn't hurt he of course meant to put alcohol on your finger and set it to light sort of not a trick that i haven't seen or done myself before he is talking to one of the other students and i was going about my business i look over to see he has coated his hands with alcohol and is reaching for the bunsen burner i yell but i'm too late the flame has spread to his hands and he is standing there smiling doing his best human torch impression until his smile changes hey this is starting to burn hey get it off get it off and he runs around the room shaking his hands and of course shooting alcohol everywhere burning alcohol it is on his shirt it is on the counter on the floor he is lucky he didn't get any in his hair it all burns out pretty quickly and i had him run his hands under warm water for a while there weren't any serious burns that he needed real first aid for but jesus what a freaking idiot i can't believe he was a biochem major another instance involved a kid at the gym there was a hamstring machine there where you would stand in the bar was behind your ankle you would raise your one leg bending at the knee to lift the bar then you do the other leg this [ __ ] tries both legs at the same time and does it about eight times before he realizes that something isn't right or that he can't hold on to the handles anymore it wasn't as funny as the fire thing but at least the kid was more of a kid and not a moronic 20 year old when i was about eight one of my friend's neighbor's cousin seriously told me that if you take a plug and insert it only halfway into a receptacle and then take a pocket knife and touch it to it that it would make sparks when you're late sparks are really awesome the next day at home i decide to give this great idea a try i touched the knife to the prongs and nothing so i went with a kind of sawing motion on the prongs and whoa i swear to god purple electricity shot three feet in the air the wall was black three feet up and the wallpaper was burnt the knife blade had been melted by both of the prongs over halfway through the blade and it didn't hurt me a bit the pocket knife was all metal so i'm not sure how it didn't kill me maybe i let go just at the right time anyway i went crying to my dad expecting and but beating but when he saw what i had done and that i was okay he was so relieved that he decided to let me live now i have two boys who are five and two and dang i'm scared why it didn't kill you you weren't the lowest resistance path to ground when i was about six all my friends and everyone i knew apart from myself had had nosebleeds needless to say i was very jealous of their amazing experience so i decided to get a nosebleed too i ended up sticking two pencils in my nostrils and smacking my head against a desk big freaking nosebleed achieved christ this actually made me gag when i was a kid my cousin was chasing me around our grandmother's yard and i ran into her garage i turned my head to look over my shoulder and turned around just in time for a long stick of metal to shoot straight up my nostril it was the sort of peg that supports yard signs and the like that was still the worst nosebleed i've ever had and i was five when i was young i was eating at a fancy restaurant with my father and extended family i forget why but it was a special occasion as we rarely all got together i had ordered the spaghetti and was eating it especially fast then i sneezed i quickly realized i had forced some noodles up my nasal cavity i tried to suck them back down through my throat but one was too far up to get so i quickly stood up and hurried to the bathroom several people in my family looked at me an alarm as i scurried away from the table a few moments later my father entered the bathroom to check to see if i was all right he took one look at me fingers clutching an especially long noodle as i pulled it out of my nose shook his head and said to wash my hands when i was finished fun times when i was three or four i was playing around with a dryer and figured how activate the closed door mechanism while inside i then climbed in turned it on with the dryer door still open and found the experience kind of fun then not long after mum's friend and her son came around and thinking that being in a dryer seemed fun to me i thought well maybe i'll show him then from what mum and her friend told me they came in less than a minute later and heard a thunk thunk thunk sound coming from the dryer and were horrified to find him in the dryer to this day i'm known to their family as the boy who stuck our boy in the dryer oh i forgot the time when i stuck my hand in a conveyor belt used to take away all the dishes at the local hospital canteen some kid came to our because he had shoved a tube of lipstick and a bottle of narksma up his rectum also i grew up in louisiana once we went on a field trip to avery island to visit the plant where they make tabasco sauce one kid tried to dip his finger in one of the vats and fell completely in a worker grabbed him and threw him under one of the chemical showers they ended up taking the kid to the hospital i've never heard anyone scream quite like that kid did he had tabasco in his mouth nose eyes is privates etc you left out the part where the oompa loompa sang a song about it hey i was a destructive kid always messing with my toys smashing my hot wheels to make them look like they were in car accidents taking apart electronic toys to collect the circuit boards i used to take batteries outside and hit them with a hammer when they were no longer good and check out the carbon inside got it on my hands a few times one day i hit the nine volts and the side split open and a minuscule flick of battery acid hit my face i don't know how but it was more itchy than burning and stayed for at least an hour i stopped hitting batteries after that when i was younger i put an entire family at risk of fire death by leaving a vowel slightly unturned on propane tank near a furnace whoops side note elmer's glue on a 9 volt turns multicolor within hours try it comma smashing my hot wheels to make them look like they were in car accidents glad i'm not the only one who did this as a kid when i was a kid me my brother and my sister all had a huge water gun fight in our house our parents weren't home and they weren't gonna be for a few hours so we decided whatever i had to pee halfway through and decided it would be a great idea to pee in one of the leftover water guns i did and threw it on the bed so i wouldn't accidentally shoot someone with it well the water gun fight was going on for an hour and i was getting thirsty my gun was empty and i found one on the bed and went ahead and shot some water in my mouth of course it was my own pee that i shot in my mouth yes i begrulls myself it was the first and hopefully last time i ever drank my own p t l d r having water gun fight with siblings better drink my own pee does this count one of my patients at the hospital was a teenager who had decided one evening that she would party very hard with her brother they both snorted a bunch of coke and shot a bunch of h in the midst of their debaucherous speedball revelry they apparently lost track of the fact that they were blood siblings and had fricked each other when she came down enough to realize what she'd done she was appropriately devastated and thought it would be best if she killed herself so she washed a bottle of extra strength tylenol down with a bottle of nyquil then she really freaked out when she realized this was actually going to kill her so she called 9-1-1 she got treatment in time and ended up surviving but holy crap long story short i met this kid named mikey while i was working at a summer camp this particular week the campers were special needs kids mikey was clearly mentally challenged to some extent but i am unsure of exactly what he suffered from other than the few things i know it wasn't downs etc after the little incident that led me to meeting him different story i had the pleasure of speaking with his group's leader about him briefly and got a little insight to who he was a little over a week before mikey came to camp he was spending a day with his babysitter caregiver for the sake of story we'll call her mary a common occurrence for him that particular day she took mikey on a zoo trip as it was apparently a favorite place of his after a couple hours of browsing mary had to take a bathroom break and asked mikey to wait outside by himself for a second while she did again not entirely uncommon for him i was told upon returning he was nowhere to be found mary began a search of the park which included alerting the staff for assistance after a solid hour of looking she finally spots him he is dripping wet from head to toe shoes backpack jeans you name it and standing by himself looking anxious she runs to him starts to check he is okay etc minus the water and the odd smell mikey appears fine but oddly refuses to speak even a word including where he had been the whole time mary takes notice but is more happy about getting him back than she is concerned over it she immediately leaves with him to get him home by the time mikey is home he is still fairly damp and has still yet to start talking again despite many attempts to get him to buy mary she draws him a hot bath to get him cleaned and warmed and hopes that after he'll be ready to start talking again after leaving him to start washing after about 10 minutes she returns to check on him immediately she is shocked at what she sees in the tub with mikey as a full-grown dead penguin apparently while at the zoo mikey managed to get away from mary make it to the penguin habitat enter their enclosure coax a penguin into his backpack and escape without anyone being the wiser he had a great love for penguins and simply wanted to take one with him it was unclear if it was the trip home that killed the penguin or perhaps something he did to it i'm sure he had a bit more closure to the story than this but i can't recall much after that tl dr never underestimate what a special needs kid can do holy crap when i was about 4yo and my sister9yo my mother went upstairs to shower and told my sister to keep an eye on me and being a spoiled brat to give me whatever i wanted i don't want to come back to him crying i wait until my mother disappears upstairs me put me in the dryer sis what me put me in the dryer sis no me i'm going to cry sister puts me in dryer me close the door sis what no me i'm going to cry sister closes the door me turn it on sis honestly i hardly remember it all nearly three decades later but i can still hear my mother's muffled screams when she came downstairs some time later and asked her where i was as i tumbled around inside no wonder i don't want children not my story but i always laugh at this one now i'm sure many of you have encountered little shoots in supermarkets little kids running about and knocking things over being rude walking all over their parents you know the kind but the worst other biters yes those little c that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it okay here's the best part a biter got me today when i was grocery stopping he broke the freaking skin too this was when the gears started turning the moment i saw a tiny sprinkle of blood on the little crap's teeth as he was grinning at me like the little seniors i made my eyes get wide and started screaming crap crap now my good friend tom will call him was there too and he instantly picked up on it he started shouting frick maybe he didn't get it frick by now the kid is scared shitless and starts crying and instantly ms mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid here's the kicker i look her straight in the eye and say ma'am get your son tested as soon as possible he just bit me and i'm i'm freaking hiv positive and now there is silence not a peep in the entire store the brat knows he just freaked up big time because his mom isn't defending his butt she just stares at me why died i walk away from them by my crap from the wide-eyed cashier all the while blood is dripping from my calf making a nice little trail on the floor and just as we leave we start to hear the mother sobbing sobbing like the see she is i have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment i heard that sob the only way this could be better is if the guy actually was hiv positive i'm a terrible person if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 15,972

Rating: 4.9296875 out of 5

Keywords: dumb kid, dumb kids, stupid kid, stupidest, stupid, stupidest things, stupidest things I did, childhood, memories, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: x3BYRWOISow

Length: 23min 53sec (1433 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 02 2020