When Did You Have a Bathroom Accident as an Adult?

people who have crap themselves during their adult life what happened i drank water too much coffee before going to a yoga class with my sister one morning afterwards we went out for breakfast at a diner and consumed some seriously greasy food and even more coffee about an hour later i'm browsing at a craft store in the perfect storm of coffee greasy and relaxed muscles hits while standing in the beating aisle i'll let what i thought was only going to be fart loose it was not a fart it was hot liquid crap i tied my jacket around my waist and butt clenched shuffled out the door the whole drive home i wondered if a human being could actually die of embarrassment fortunately by the time i got home i was giggling like a mad woman while cleaning myself up at home i kept cracking up laughing and realized things could have been way worse and now i have a hay i crap myself in public two-story i was taking a drug test in the military the observer normally just kind of stands behind you but this dude was all up on my dong my bladder kind of got shy so i tried to force it out i tried a little too hard and ended up shouting it was enough that i felt it run down my leg i had to play it cool and turn in my sample bottle and sign paperwork while covered in crap good times three weeks after my first daughter was born both my wife and i got severely ill i call it heck flu i was running a 104 degree fever and i was kind of delirious i really don't know what exactly was going on i am my head but when the hot butt diarrhea started running down my leg my mind snapped out of its haze and i realized what i had done i stripped off the crap laden cloths and got them in the wash and cleaned 3d myself up my wife never knew i crap myself mostly because two hours later i wet the bed and she will never let me live it down my husband has crap the bed before and i'm proud that i have never brought it up again in either humor or anger he would feel so humiliated i just can't i do make fun of how stank his farts are though i'm no son i farted in the car on my way to work i thought it felt weird maybe a bit bubbly but i figured it was because a heated seat was making my butt crack sweaty i stopped at the drive-through to get breakfast and felt something squishing between my butt cheeks when i leaned over to get my wallet i remember the cashier at mcdonald's asking me if i'm okay because i must have had a strange look on my face when i realized i pooped my pants fortunately due to the type of work i did at the time i had a change of clothes a shower and a washer dryer at work i was always the first one and so nobody had any idea what happened your car seat new and chances are when you fire up that heated seat you're reminded of it i'd been out of town for work and the last night of the trip everyone went out and drank pretty heavily the next day i drove the three hours back home and fell just fine got home and was doing a little cleaning while vacuuming my living room i rotated my shoulders and just straight up crap myself no warning no idea it was coming the worst part i could see the toilet from where i was standing jesus christ reading all these stories of normal body movements and accidentally pooping yourself i'm worried i'll be the next victim or my husband will do it for the third time i had an mri scan on my lower abdomen and the tracer fluid i had to drink made me crap myself on the way home they didn't warn me but i felt fine until it was too late i used to live around one mile from a train station and i had to run to catch a train for a job interview so i was in my best suit running for a train when i needed to fart never ever trust a fart so i shot it while running i managed to catch the train and disposed of my crappy undercrackers in the train toilet got to my interview on time in commando didn't get the job not says hire me like an armani suit that smells like shart not sure if it counts i was wearing a very comfortable pair of lace panties i also had the flu rushed to the toilet and pulled down my pants didn't realize until i went to wipe that i didn't pull down my underwear everything pretty much went straight through the underwear i crap myself while sitting on the toilet not many men would own up to that how have i crap myself as an adult let me count the ways once i lean too far forward to take the parking brake off in my truck crap myself waddled into a gas station and cut my underwear off with a pocket knife left them in the trash can at work in my office was taking a pee and trusted a fart i shouldn't have cut my underwear off in the store and just waked straight out of work to my vehicle and left it was not the best day to wear grey pants driving down the interstate couldn't make it to the exit started crapping myself so i pulled over and made a run to the tree line and finished my crap while holding onto a tree had to cut my underwear off and use them as toilet paper because in my haste i didn't grab napkins went camping once at 3 a.m i was awoken by my body actively trying to crap itself climbed out of the sleeping bag ran to the closest tree while crapping myself cut my underwear up to use as toilet paper because as i ran away i didn't grab any walked back to camp naked only wearing socks it was 16 degrees moral of the story kids always carry a pocket knife because you never know when you'll have to cut your underwear off at a gas station i can imagine you to be the kind of guy who just cuts his underwear off to change into pajamas had just left a girl's place after a night out was about six a.m got in the car started driving and was about 15 minutes from home i shat myself uncontrollably about five minutes into the trip it was like wearing a warm doughy slush pit when i got home i ripped into the driveway jumped out of the car and onto the grass whipped my pants down and hosed my butt off anyone awake that early would have had a great show with their morning coffee food poisoning twice second time i threw up all over my wife on our way home from the restaurant i turned to her to say honey i don't feel so well and wound up saying honey mugaga i'm so sorry somehow we're still together after that she's the best the crapping myself part came from throwing up so dang hard that it came out of the other end too we're still together after that i mean if people break up because their spouse puke on them after a food poisoning i don't think they were meant to be total in the first place in afghanistan and accepted dinner with my interpreters they had a drink made from goat curd mint and something else it was delicious the next day i crap myself trying to reach the crappers half a day of pain three months later we had dinner again you better believe i drank that delicious toxic concoction again i've searched afghan restaurants for seven years and still haven't found whatever that was i went to take a crap and forgot to pull my pants down i just sat down on the toilet and crap my pants perfectly healthy just distracted boxers kept it contained i realized right away so it was easy clean up dropped them in the trash and went commando the rest of the day my pants stank bits at the time i was working a job where it was okay to stink crap myself during family christmas i farted and didn't know i full on crap myself sat in it for about an hour only to get up and realize my crap had sunk into the cushion my mom called me an animal and i cried laughing hellish food poisoning it came out black did you know that when you've been bleeding internally it doesn't make crap red but black but once it gets in water red leaks out from it rapidly i didn't know that either i wish i didn't have to find out i was throwing up at the same time couldn't even stand up luckily i have the best boyfriend in the world so it got cleaned up but that wasn't the end of it the reason i got food poisoning was that the stuff was tainted with staphylococcus aureus so in the days to follow more than 40 skin ulcers developed all over my body i almost died traveled with a friend trough thailand and got myself a pretty severe case of food poisoning or someday we wanted to take the ferry to kohafangan and took the bus down there which was an eight h ride i slept on the way down not knowing what was yet to come woke up because i shat myself not hard just a bit so i went down to the bus toilets to look how much i failed the lu was literally just a hole in the bus i had to puke so hard i shat myself again later i found out it was such high velocity puking i ripped my esophagus when i began puking blood while being on said fairy i really thought that'd be the end of me and i'm going to die in the middle of nowhere without a phone almost passed out if it wasn't for my friend stayed the rest of the ferry trip on the toilet where i puked so hard i constantly couldn't control my sphincter had to stay three days in the hospital funny thing is i considered not buying a travel insurance at the beginning but i did in the end cost me 17 euros and saved me a 3 000 euro hospital bill nice twas a nice trip though edit holy crap that blew up hell now my top post is literally about me crapping myself well done got the flu trusted a fart it was like water coming out of my butthole then when i thought it was out of my system farted again and continued to pee out my butt edit my highest upvoted comment and all of my karma has come from a story about me crapping myself we did it read it one time i tried to fart while playing online poker really late while my girlfriend was asleep about half of the fart came out before i realized more was on its way out too i caught that before it was too late and jumped up and started to run to the bathroom i had headphones on and yanked my head to the left and pulled my tower over as i kicked a 25 pound weight on the floor broke my toe and then crap all over myself i was at my grandma's house watching a movie next to her electric heater i fainted due to the heat and woke up to my grandma carrying me to the bathroom with crap in my pants god i love that woman i was on a class trip to washington dc in eighth grade after taking us all to eat at a roy rogers fast food restaurant the chaperones thought it would be a good idea to take everyone to a souvenir store out in the middle of nowhere as i was browsing cheap models of the washington monument i got the oh no feeling in the pit of my stomach i rushed to the counter to ask the only employee at the store where the bathroom is as luck would of it he spoke little to no english but new enough to say no bathroom no bathroom i panic and walk outside and see the bus driver standing there starting to sweat i ask if i can use the bus bathroom number one or number two he says number two i say quietly he proceeds to tell me that yes i can use the bathroom but they will then have to go out of their way to empty the toilet tank when i'm done i do my best to hold it but after what seemed like no time at all the floodgates started to open there i am a chubby 14 year old kid in blue corduroy shorts with a trail of diarrhea most foul running down my leg at that point one of the popular girls looks over and says you've got something running down your leg i abandon all the pretends and run to the bus while yelling i'm sick i'm sick of course the bathroom is at the back of the bus so as i'm making my way to the bathroom i'm leaving a trail of crap down the aisle i proceed to completely wreck this bathroom using all available toilet paper and every paper towel eventually all of the other kids get on and we depart that god forsaken place but i stay quiet in the bathroom until i hear the bus stop and everyone get off one of the chaperones knocks on the door and says that they can take me back to the hotel and get the bus cleaned up so i shower get changed and for some reason decide to wrap the blue corduroy shorts in multiple plastic bags and pack it deep in my suitcase we head back to join the group and as i depart the bus the first person i see asks me how many times i threw up in the bathroom apparently everyone thought i was violently ill and not just crapping my pants everything worked out better than expected except i had throw away that suitcase and all of the clothes when i got home crap was ruined i guess the bus driver learned his lesson let the kids use the bathroom and go that extra mile to dump the tank rather than clean up all that crap and have them go the extra mile anyway beer and hot wing farts was ripping them out at work the next day the last one was not a fart but i had already applied too much pressure there was so much that it even came out of my shorts and hit the floor the best part was walking up to my boss to say i i just crap myself need to go home and clean up had a day off with my best friend roommate on a saturday woke up early to make the most out of the day sitting in panera at about 8 a.m feeling like proper adults as we drink coffee eat bagels and are both reading newspapers we both have our papers folded out in front of our faces bff puts hers down i put mine down she looks at me straight face and says i just crap myself i shouted will you judge me if i go throw my underwear away i really don't want to drive all of the way back to the apartment nope same straight face as her i told her to wait while i grabbed some disinfectant wipes like the lysol ones for countertops out of the car gotta make do you know came back inside she cleaned up threw her crappy underwear away in the tampon bin attached to the stall wall and came back out finished our papers and breakfast went the rest of the day commando and had a blast at a zoo feeding giraffes and crap it was one of the most non-challenged non-judgmental did we just become best friends yup wanna do karate in the garage yup moments of my life it was a great day in the joys of true friendship edit for those of you concerned about whoever had the unfortunate ask of bathroom duty my best friend described the contents of the shirt as about a teaspoon of butt pee the scene of the accident was also described as an unremarkable shot for what i was expecting the above mentioned underwear was completely and securely mummy wrapped in toilet paper before being shoved to the bottom of the tampon receptacle which was lined with a plastic bag whoever threw those underwear away had no idea they were throwing away the clothing shot casualty the lysol towerlets were used to carefully clean the butt cheeks she experienced no skin reaction and enjoyed having extremely clean and lemon-scented butt cheeks we had no baby wipes so frickit in case anyone was wondering the giraffes were wonderful we fed them lettuce they had funky tongues this is amazing i wouldn't have judged either but i'd be lying if i said i wouldn't have lost my butt off too maybe not adult but young adult late teen 17 the events that led up to that moment are important one i was cutting weight for a wrestling tournament cutting a lot of weight so my stomach was not the happiest organ on this day two i had gotten the flu the day before and was having some problems though out the day three for some reason my school had white singlets that we wore in the finals now that the stage is set i made the finals and in the wrestling began i was killing it i was up 8-0 with about 30 seconds left i had wrestled terrible all day but now i was hitting my stride my opponent takes a high crotch an attempt to grab my leg but instead he uppercuts me in the crotch i feel the liquid heck begin to seep i can't just run off i would lose i'm trapped in this poo singlet for another 25 seconds the longest 25 seconds of my life to that point my parents just start laughing everyone is laughing the black streak that has begin to spread down my backside is becoming more and more defined it spreads like the plague time expires i sprint to shake hands before the ref even touches me i raise my own hand and sprint to the showers i wash off in scolding hot water my dad comes into the locker trying not to laugh as he asks if i'm alright i am not i don't know how i went back out in front of that crowd the crowd that just watched me make black duke nukems in my white singlet some friends and family still bring it up to this day as soon as i read white singlet i audibly went nuru you poor poor soul you have my sympathy i've told this story before but i was in high school on a school road trip we were traveling for 18 hours while we were there i ate a sketchy hamburger but couldn't afford anything else on the way home i woke up at three in the morning needing to throw up bad there was no way i could make it to the bathroom because there were people on the floor everywhere i dumped out my stuff from my bag and threw up constantly i had to stay on the back of the bus while everyone else was in the front i had to crap this entire time but i wasn't gonna do that to my friends and the bus driver also didn't want to embarrass myself we get home finally and my mom picks me up finally back at the house i was able to crap and vomit simultaneously i couldn't even sleep because i was constantly doing one or the other or both so my mom gave me some pills not sure what they were but they knocked me out cold i woke up a few hours later thinking holy frick i need to crap but couldn't physically move from the pills i crap myself rolled over and went back to sleep active labor the body wants to expel anything in the colon so i went before we left for the hospital i guess i didn't get it all out one really bad pull cramps on top of a contraction which also feels like a really bad pool cramps and i decided it was time to waddle my happy butt into the bathroom to finish what i'd started at home i finished baby came much screaming some sleep friends and family blah blah blah my husband later told me that i'd shouted at that moment so he grabbed the paper towel thing they laid down on the beds wanted it up and tossed it before anyone could see and asked the nurse for a new one i'd be myself in front of him at that point pregnancy is grand so there was only a short moment of mortification come to think of it i don't think i give him nearly as many blow jobs as he deserves just for shoots and giggles i am going to repost this story of me crapping my pants because some jerk copied and pasted it from a comment i made on a post asking the same thing a year ago freaking plagiarist i was pregnant around four months along every day i would take my dog for a long morning walk about halfway through i realized i needed to poop and had better turn around and head back home i was confident that i could walk the 1.5 miles back to my house because i was a pool holding superhero i had gone longer than that after getting drunk eating a burrito the size of a baby and snorting two huge lines of coke thing is pooping and peeing after your first trimester happens in ways that you are no longer in control of the last four blocks were heck i was dragging my dog doing yoga breathing and clenching my butt cheeks together so tightly i was walking like i was wearing leg braces i raced walk to my door threw it open and told my so to get out of the way he blocked me like a linebacker and said does my honey bunny have to take a big dumpy wampy then he gave me a squeeze and a tickle and i exploded into my yoga pants and started crying it took me days to forgive him as a show of brotherly love between stores during the busiest time of the year the local whole foods donated a bunch of chicken wings to the best buy i was working at it was until the seventh wing that i realized the wings weren't cooked the whole way through i thought i was going to be okay i was wrong during my last hour on shift on black friday i attempted to let a little off the top you know to relieve the pressure on my stomach only to discover to my horror that i had painted the inside of my underwear a baby food green color and asked to be excused for the rest of the evening went to the bathroom removed the underwear threw it in the garbage then drove home commando it was a bad evening from the non-out zero stroke 10 do not recommend last month i was on holiday in america we go up to hollywood to do the stars home tour etc i had a little much to tabasco on my breakfast skillet and my stomach started to grumble outside justin timberlake's house i soldiered through but when we passed the house of blues on the way back into hollywood it all got a bit too much and it slipped out the worst bit was we were staying in long beach so had to suffer the drive back to there with my sudden underpants oh well it happens to the best of us my stomach started to grumble outside justin timberlake's house can't stop the can't stop the can't stop the feeling i was out on a run and was heading back home made it to my doorstep but felt a little escape i had the same thing happen in the middle of nowhere in idaho so i just squatted down and let it all out running is dangerous my dude trusted a fart right in front of my co-worker he saw the fear in my eyes one of my favorite stories to tell now though i have crohn's disease it would only affect my illness and rectum as soon as poop got there my body tried to eject it like the hot lava it was i had about a five minute window from first feeling of need to poop to full on pooping probably had an accident about four or five times a year but since i got my anus removed no worries my friend crap his pants once when we were on acid it was in front of a bunch of girls too we took way too much and he sort of malfunctioned aha always a friend so i was going through a phase where i was obsessed with pistachios in about a week i must have gone through a good few 50 grams bags just popping those suckers open and enjoying their salty goodness one after another i love those nuts and all was well that was until friday i remember i just finished work so i got a quick shower changed into my lazy clothes and jumped into bed i felt absolutely fine as i reached for my unopened bag of pistachios on the side and began to work my way through them after a while though i began to feel some strange gurglings down below the kind that allowed enough to interrupt the tv and make you wonder how strange the human body is well it was about to get stranger because my stomach had decided to make its discomfort known through a series of smells now i'm an adult a grown butt man with a job and responsibilities but i'll be damned if i don't still find farts funny especially farts that smell so ungodly that you can kind of taste them on the air i remember with each new tooth red be a moment of silence as i waited for the warm evil smelling air to drift its way up to my nostrils before exclaiming something like freaking heck that's not right and then hooting like a freaking owl at my own foulness such fun until it happened the fart that we all fear the one spoken about in hushed tones over campfires and in dark alleyways i'm of course referring to the shot it started like any other the familiar pressure and heat like judging the foot pedals in an unfamiliar car you need to test it slightly and see how much give there is you push slightly then a little more then more still then disaster apparently that innocent little fart had been carrying some illegal stowaways not little individually wrapped parcels of joy oh no i'm talking a tide of what looked like deep green porridge an unholy swamp of foul smelling no surprise had been sprayed out of me like the worst pebble dashing in the history of mankind but to this day i've never encountered a smell like it half pistachio half turd all evil but that smell horns my dreams needless to say i had another shower if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 11,960

Rating: 4.9220781 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: YlHJ3KZQ1pY

Length: 25min 40sec (1540 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 29 2020