What is your worst wingman moment? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

what's your worst wingman moment a friend and I were out one night in Chico CA which is known for being a huge party town we were walking to a party when we ran into a group of girls I started talking to them but I was particularly interested in one of them she was obviously shy and fairly unsure of my but I won the support of her friends pretty soon they were all winning me and she opened up pretty well we got to the party I split off and gave her her space we ran into each other a few more time each time she was more affectionate night went on and a while later the girl and her friends were getting ready to leave they didn't want to walk back alone dev asked me and my friend of we would be their boyfriends for the night we were walking back to their dorm the girl I had been talking to told me she could get me a Guest Pass at any hour of the night and I could stay with her with going perfect until I made some offhand light-hearted suggestive comment about sex which got a laugh and went over well until my jackass friend decided to top it with the Abid you're a man or I tried to play it off with sarcasm with a AER right then he persisted with no you definitely are a man-whore how many girls in the last month like four girls shoves moves my arm off of her shoulder walks ahead of me and when we get to their dorm they all waved goodbye no number no hug not even a handshake a [ __ ] wave not really a wingman moment but I was trying to boost my friends confidence to get him to talk to a girl gave him the age-old advice of being confident into slight arsal at the same time he proceeded to walk up to a beautiful girl and ask her what's up down syndrom face needless to say he didn't have much success that night your friend is pretty stupid once during pilot training I was on leaves wing doing practice maneuvers in the like it happened to be around noon and one of the maneuvers involved relatively high angles of Bank sure enough I lost visual contact with lead in the Sun during a high G turn I broke out like we were trained to but then it took about ten minutes to get back into formation ten minutes is a long time when you only have an hour or so to do all your formation work and it was a big debrief item fill me read getting yelled at and that was my worst women moment my wingman blew it for me once freshman year of college we went to a party in our dorm the floor below the girl he was running the party I had a crush on and wanted to hook up with her clingy best friend was there and my friend was supposed to keep her occupied just by talking to her or whatever while I flirted with the run mate it was working out great and by the end of the night it was just me the girl I liked my roommate and the clingy girl left at the party clingy girl left my roommate goes okay bye and proceeds to stay in the room with us even after two hours of subtle hits to him he stayed in the room eventually it hits 3:00 a.m. and she could sense that he wasn't going to leave and heads to bed we both leave I don't know if this is a worst women moment but I was in a New Year's Eve party at the beach and my cousin and I were walking all over the place looking for girls I remember me being extremely drunk the next day he tells me clear you are the best dumbest wingman ever he tells me that I was making out with a girl I don't remember any of this and suddenly I turn around and he's standing next to me I asked him you don't have a girl he says no then I said well if you don't have one me neither and that's when I pushed the girl aside and walked away my friend drew and I were at a party and he had mentioned he was interested in a certain female there I proceeded to get far too intoxicated to keep my voice as a reasonable volume and shouted dude get her number you could totally make out tonight with her about three feet away I felt pretty bad about that but he returned the favor when a night that was supposed to be a group of friends going out for swing dancing ended up with just drew the I liked and myself last time drew had gone dancing was apparently with his ex in this made him sad so he spent the whole time sitting at the table with us when we weren't dancing her and I didn't get any time to talk alone because of this she asked if it was a date and if it was why I brought my awkward support buddy along next time we hung out was at my birthday party where everyone but him left around the same time he was not getting for him to leave and was just really awkward the whole time we're bad wingmen I'm almost positive the person I'm talking about will read this [ __ ] it I was at a bar with some fellow reddit is about a month ago noticed two rather gorgeous women at the table across us so I informed the group that I was heading over I introduced myself with a smile and eventually they loosened up and we were sharing laughs everything was going perfect eventually a friend came over and started a conversation with the girl I wasn't all too interested in leaving me chatting with a lovely brunette cue third guy from the group he sits down in a drunken stupor and introduces himself loudly it was pretty funny the women laughed a bit and then out of nowhere we're from reddit infinite from that moment on the women were laughing blankly at us and told us how they're totally into memes and cat pictures [ __ ] that night it was pretty hilarious though ten stroke ten would get cock-blocked again asterisk the icing on the cake there was when he asked the women have you seen my beach ball it's about this big flexes muscles my favorite bar was shutting down I practically lived there my buddy and I were getting loaded more sir than we usually did he's getting all white girl drunk this cute hippie chick with huge personalities walks up to me introduces herself and say everyone says you're a great guy my friend turns to her and screams I'm talking to him go away . i turned to tell him to [ __ ] off and then she's gone i still give him massive amounts of [ __ ] for this my buddy and I are at this kick-ass piano bar in downtown SD I'm 27 at the time and he is 23 we spot to extremely hot girls alone fending off drunken attempts by several other groups of guys my buddy starts talking to them and we are in everything is going great until my buddy has to use the restroom one of the girls went as well leaving me alone with the other we are getting along fine and then she asks my age I tell her casually twenty-seven without thinking much of it her friend comes back before my buddy they exchanged a few looks comments and as my buddy walks back up there in the middle of fleeing the scene he is furious and asking WTF I did bTW you had to be 21 to get into this place TL DR being 27 scared off chicks in a 21 and up bar I was at a party with a mate who has had a dry patch for a good 2-3 years he is smart pretty good-looking well-off and buff but just lacks confidence he is talking to this girl for well over 2 hours though but I need to go and he is my driver so I write down his number on a card and hand it to her and tell them they can continue this later she never calls thing is my head lighting is pretty bad normally and I was fairly drunk so it is more than likely she couldn't make out the number Open bracket I'm a girl I tried win running form is a pee friend in college I found a very attractive blonde girl chatted her up introduced her to my friend and smoothly absented myself to get get another beer I waited 20 minutes and popped back over to see how things are going turns out they spent the last 20 minutes talking about me and the girl was quite keen on me well I thought screw it clearly my buddy isn't going to get anywhere with this girl so I did we ended up messing around in the bar bathroom together because I am a shitty selfish person dot worth it I had an alcoholic roommate the kind that gets emotional and clingy when he's drunk my place cute Iranian chick the French he is with his a lesbian he entertains the lesbian outside world like immense hooking up on the pool table he brings his drink outside whilst doing so turns out the lesbian is quite the intellectual and mind arousing comes back and shit-faced he goes upstairs lesbian passes out on couch posted us commence the quiet hookup 20 minutes later I'm on the verge of [ __ ] I hear this dragging sound on the ground below us what the [ __ ] I look under he's army crawling shit-faced with his drink and looks up with glacis eyes and says my name I just loved you man he goes back and forth to his room at least three times while I'm still trying to hook up with this girl silently mind you then passes out in his own vomit comes 6 a.m. after hours of blue balls it was going well that night even the chick I had to win them for was pretty cool but she made it perfectly clear that nothing was going to happen I go to the bar for a round of drinks and run into a college slam piece turns out she's in town for one night and it's a first business trip she's super excited cause her company got her a nice room overlooking downtown and how awesome would it be to [ __ ] while looking at the downtown and we left the bar [ __ ] like champs and got room service the next morning so it worked out well for me but my buddy got no action that night my friend told me that he was about to hang out with this really cute girl and her friends so he invited me along specifically to wingman I wasn't too excited at the prospect but because I care for my friend and understand the duties of wingman ship I agreed however the two girls names got mixed up during the introduction so I spent the entire night hitting on the wrong girl I kept getting confused as to why my friend was purposely not sitting next to the girl he had been talking about so I would sit in between him and the girl he actually liked thinking that she was just the friend TL DR got introductions mixed up spent the entire night hitting on wrong girl [ __ ] blocking my friend I hope this doesn't get buried at a club with a group of friends my one friend and I decide to hit the dance floor with our drinks he sees a couple of girls and decides we should dance with them I told him to pick which one he wanted as any good wingman would do we go over there dance is a group then I take the girl that he didn't want and I stopped dancing with her now I attempt to strike up a conversation ya never know could get lucky too well she doesn't reply to me and I'm thinking the music is too loud anyways I try to talk to here again this time louder still no response so I say [ __ ] it just dance at the end of the song the girl dancing with my friend sees this laughs at me and comes over and tells me this girl is death my cousin brought me along to be his wingman basically he liked a girl who was a friend of another female friend of his to get her on a date he invited his female friend and told her to invite her friend he then invited me to keep his female friend occupied while he tried to pick up a friend I did exactly as told I had his friend go on a walk with me outside the bar so he could have some alone time with the other girl they did not hit it off but on the way home I sat in the back seat with his friend and left the other girl up front with my cousin we stopped for gas and that is when [ __ ] got weird new girl changes to the backseat and now I am in a seat with one girl on each side they are both hitting on me and grabbing at my junk and such I am trying to be subtle and push them away but was more or less living out the beginnings of every man's fantasy end of the night we dropped him off he never tried with that girl again I failed my wingman duties had alcoholic roommate my buddy has gone whaling in the empty room next to us with some [ __ ] me alcoholic roommate and his brother all drunk she's hideous drunk roommate gets the idea that we should all get naked and see his dick she wants to suck first so we do of course the friend kicks us out twice on the third time he comes out and yells at us slaps me same slap happens to hit drunk roommates little brother and he's protective comma commence drunk rule in living room for drunk naked dudes under naked fat chicks screaming what the [ __ ] is going on big brother and the whale of both bleeding so tired both smokers commence vomiting on floor smell of blood vomit and whale vagina permeating the room I throw up from the smell and liquor no safe place to sleep friends vomited on clothes drive home naked and drunk I was living in Iowa City with a couple of other guys a girlfriend came into town and I took the other run mates out to the bars on the ped mall the third or fourth place was alive we broke company I started making time with a girl bought her a couple of drinks my roommates comes up to me and says we have to go coma I figured he had picked a fight and somebody was coming to kick his ass so I excused myself and we bolt halfway across the ped mall I asked him what happened he told me some guy called him sir and asked for the time and he felt old I was livid he moved out a few months later and nobody has heard from him again although his story is well-known Irish guy here two American girls stopped chatting to a friend of mine let's call him James while we were in a bar in town one night both were really hot and they seemed to be getting on quite well with James so I assumed they all knew each other I was having a conversation with a female friend of mine a few meters away from James telling her a story of something that happened to me a few days before mid conversation James comes over and introduces the two girls to me so being the smooth operator that I am reply with Lehr who love a dot at which point I get a confused look from James and he explains that he just met them they were nice etc me still not understanding what was going on said cool I then proceeded to turn back to my female friend and continue my story the girl I was talking actually explained what just happened I've never been his wingman since my buddy dragged me over to a couple of girls at the bar and bought them both drinks started chatting got me chatting with them things were going well until he turned to me and loudly declared you got the Asian which both girls heard the Asian one replied so that means you get the white girl dot at this point I clapped my hands together once picked up my beer told them it was a pleasure making their acquaintance and walked back to the other side of the bar my buddy bought them a couple more drinks and spent a few minutes apologizing and trying to fix the situation they eventually accepted his apology and went their separate ways I later peaked on the toilet but that's not really relevant to the story or unusual my friend wanted to hook up with this asian chick at our College so I decide to invite the two of them to a bar so we can get drunk and he can get to know her mind you I am completely not interested in the type of girl that she is fast-forward a couple of pitches and some shooters we head back home and while I was driving the two were making out pretty intense in the backseat so I thought to myself I'm such a great wingman when I drop them off at my friend's place she acts drunken does not want to leave the car after a while my friend said [ __ ] it and headed home pretty disappointed she then tells me she wants to sleep at my place so I couldn't leave her out in the streets and she lives pretty far away so we get to my place and I get ready to sleep when she suddenly jumps into my bed and after drunk and stupid and wants to sleep there I thought [ __ ] this [ __ ] I'm still sleeping here when I was half asleep she grabs my hand and proceeds to put it on her vajayjay by this point I am semi hangover semi sleepy in this chick wants the [ __ ] I then [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of her moral of the story do not drink and drive last Halloween my friend and I decided to go out we ended up hitting it off with a group of women but I ended up having a few too many later when the girl he was going after pulls out her phone and before he can give her his number I burst in and shout out my number she puts it in her phone and before my friend can say anything she's gone still haven't heard the end of that and I'm pretty sure I deserve it my buddy across the hall had a few people over drinking in his dorm room things dwindled down and it's just him me and this girl who really wants to hook up with him he gets a text from one of his regular hookups who lives pretty close by and he pulls me aside and says Concha Mayer I'm going to do something awesome something unprecedented I'm going to go hook up with regular hookup and while I'm doing that I want you to keep go.here busy I'm going to tell her I'm going out to get more beer and when I come back from regular hookup s place I'm going to [ __ ] her double quote I said sure thing and spent the next 30 minutes helping this girl with a crossword puzzle I get a text from my girlfriend asking if she can come over I text back err start walking I'm in a weird situation and I just have to take care of one double-quote I grabbed one of my buddy suit emotes explain the situation and how I need him to look after her while I go have sex with my girlfriend he readily agrees my buddy walks back to his room an hour after he left six-pack of beer in his hand and finds his suit amid having sex with the girl in ease i.e my buddy's bed TL DR cock-blocked my friend from having doing the no-pants dance twice in one night with two different girls and forced him to do laundry got another friend late in the process my brother and i carpooled to a wedding a chick at the wedding no not the bride took a liking to me and invited me to stay at her place since I didn't have to work in the morning my brother interrupted no we've gotta get back home tonight I replied no we don't double quote he explained that if we didn't leave at that moment he would miss the latest episode of The Good Wife the girl offered to drive me home the following morning but then my brother pointed out that it was a three-hour drive each way she said she didn't care she just wanted to spend more time with me my brother asked have you ever driven that far before double quote the worst part is my brother and I are roommates and the first three house rules are don't cock-block don't [ __ ] block and end [ __ ] block double quote the one time I tried to be a buddy's wingman I blew it about about 10 years ago we were invited to this big party in some abandoned building the place was packed there were kegs and $1 shot bar set up I spent most of the night walking around just enjoying myself when I noticed mysap friend John talking to a very attractive girl I walk on over to them to try to hook up my friend and get his brother away from them and she tells my friend he wants him to buy her a shot now I might not be a expert here but when an attractive flirty girl wants you to by her a $1 shot you buy her the [ __ ] shot he starts hemming and hawing and about if so I offer to buy them all shots giving John two dollars out of my pocket would make him look cheap and broke so I was just trying to be the fun friend I did not want to stand in that long-ass line by myself or those so I asked them to join me John didn't want to and said he'll wait there with his brother so this girl joins me in line and we start talking for the next 20 minutes I guess when I'm drunk I'm pretty funny and charming and she brings me upstairs to a room and starts making out with me a while later my buddy finds me up there with her because he wanted to go home to this day he gives me [ __ ] for dipping in his coffee [ __ ] that [ __ ] he handed me his coffee and I took a sip before it got cold I was invited to an amusement park by my best friend his girlfriend had suggested that I go because I'm funny and people really enjoy hanging out with me that's what I though anyways turns out my buddy's girlfriend invited a distant friend who resembled a stack of tires with a cigarette hanging off of her lips we left pretty early in the morning and ol Jabba the Hutt Vermont's Waffle House before we even left the driveway she gets a fill of free pancakes on my dime and proceeds to engage everyone in conversation about her recent breakup she cried almost the entire car ride to the park fast forward 12 hours and it's late we ride one last coaster after dinner and she hell's chili cheese flies all over the place immediately after we get off the ride to cab the night off she wanted to kiss me on the mouth I still have nightmares that was 15 years ago this one was not at all my fault but probably one of the funniest things to ever happen to me so about a year ago my friend and I got dragged by a few girls from class to this shitty country bar line dancing club I'm hanging out with them in the general vicinity of the dance floor and a girl taps me on the shoulder and asks if I wanted dance I'm not single so I tell her I'm taken and she moves on not ten minutes later another girl taps me on the shoulder and asks the same thing I assume I stand out because I'm one of the only guys they're not wearing a John Deere hat and a plaid shirt tucked into my jeans I tell her I'm taken and she leaves me alone my buddy with me who was also bored as hell was single at the time so I decide to try and send someone his way if any other girls want to dance with me sure enough another girl taps me on the shoulder and I begin the sentence hey I'm taken but you should talk to my friend over here unfortunately my friend only hears me say I'm taken , sees me point at him and he gets the wrong idea before I finish the sentence he immediately puts his arm around me and said in the most stereotypically gay voice possible oh I'm sorry honey he's with me the girl just stares blankly at his for a few seconds and goes good for you guys totally buying it my only regret is that we doubled over laughing before the girl even turned around edit grammar I'm so late to this party but here it goes this one night I was high in drunk as balls my old roommates brother was this desperate freshman kid who kept asking me to hook him up with a girl I was senior by then I felt bad for the kid because I was inebriated as [ __ ] and couldn't talk to any girl for him plus I didn't know that many people at the place so I'll let him hit on my gf she obviously turned him down I pretended to not be aware of his moves he didn't know that she was my gf I patted his back later and my GF explained to me how this young kid had the worst pick-up mousse ever he came off really rappy I was one swing remaining for my friend in a club it was all going well he was talking to a pretty girl I'd managed to snag for him and I was making my exit when a creepy guy came up to me he was hitting on me really badly and trying to force me to dance with him despite me telling him no and it was getting to the point where it was unpleasant I needed to get him away but the only way I could think to do it was by grabbing my friend and exclaiming leave any alone [ __ ] this is my dad ' my friend is actually younger than me but could pass for a few years older than his agent I have a bit of a baby face so though unlikely you could believe he was my father if he'd had me at 12 or 13 thankfully was scared off the creep but the girl was horrified made a new sound and tottered away after that everyone in the surrounding area who had witnessed the incident avoided our creepy father-daughter duo like the plague thankfully I made it up to him the following week and found him some very nice lady woman a favorite story of mine from college a couple of buddies and me went to a Halloween party at a buddy's frat house we all get where and keine split up as it was a pretty big house about an hour later I'm wandering around and a girl I've met a few times before runs up to me and tells me they're starting a game of alligator dentist in someone's bedroom so who's passing that up no one I walk into the room and my buddy will call him Fred isn't there with a smokin hot blonde in a sexy bee costume so it's me Fred bumblebee and this other girl drunk in this room well turns out the girls would play alligator dentist such that if you lost you had to kiss one of the other players now at the time both Fred and I are in long term long-distance relationships in this bumble bee chick is just so obviously ready to [ __ ] his brains out he goes and the alligator snaps shut on his hand and he just looks at me with a look of sheer horror we both knew that in order for this situation to not escalate into an orgy was gonna have to kiss me thankfully he was sober enough to kiss me on the cheek so I realize at this point I've got to stop him from beefing this chick so what do I do I ripped the nastiest silent but deadly fart fueled by a nachos Bell Grande you've ever smelled took about 30 seconds for the chicks to dip out Fred was out of there faster than a fat kid in dodgeball I catch up to him outside and he just grabs me by the shoulders and thanked me profusely for [ __ ] my pants him and that same girlfriend got married a few months ago came home from work my roommate was at the computer helping some hot girl with her homework I knew who she was and knew she was single and had no idea how he got her home but good for him unfortunately the guy was a slob and his [ __ ] was everywhere but I didn't miss a beat hey man I didn't know you'd be bringing anyone over or I would have cleaned up my a mess double-quote he comes back with what are you talking about double quote all this [ __ ] here I wouldn't want her to think this is your fault double quote it is my fault this is all my stuff what are you talking about double quote I looked her right in the eye and said well I tried you saw it turned around and left I could hear her laughing on my way out the door this is my buddy's wingman story I for the first time in my life was picked up by a girl at a bar I was at the bar with my buddy and these two girls were there he and I went back to her house in the middle of nowhere with her and her friend she had a pool we had been doing shots all night naked pool time so I ended up upstairs for the night with the girl my friend stayed in the pool with her friend she was heavier but very cute they are making out and she starts all this nervous chatter about how she looks fat he says don't worry about it and continues to kiss her wasn't exactly a model himself , she takes that as in calling her fat and begins to get loud he says okay then we don't have to make out drunk and make it in a pool and swims away she starts pining for his attention but his bus has been stabbed and his bleeding out towards death she starts yelling at him he gets out of the pool she continues to run her mouth and he mutters that she has something wrong with her she says oh yeah well you're nothing but a [ __ ] wingman double-quote he laughed and proceeded to walk ten miles back to civilization to be picked up by a girl that liked him at 4:00 a.m. he got laid that night I didn't I was at a party with a friend once and he wanted to go over and talk to a girl but he wanted me to wingman because she was talking to her friends while we were all talking the girl that he was interested in lost interest and walked away the two quite hot I might add friends stayed with me and I spent the rest of the evening with them my friend just walked away awkwardly and ate food alone the whole evening I feel kind of bad not really I was win winning for a friend of mine recently after he broke up with his girlfriend we were at the bar and I had managed to get him into a conversation with a lovely girl unfortunately he was far too drunk and while he was standing in line at the bar he leaned forward and threw up all over his own shoes he immediately sprinted for the exit I was going to follow but I knew our house was only a couple blocks away and I knew that he would make it I wound up taking the girl home myself I was friends with this really great guy and he'd been single for a while and was fairly shy quiet so I decided to help him out one night we went to Applebee's for dinner and I left his number for the waitress but it was him my two kids and myself I realized after we left what it probably looked like to the waitress we both laughed I tried to set him up with every single female friend I hired they'd meet him hang out with him and then tell me he's great but it's not going to go anywhere I figured I had stupid friends well one day one of them breaks it down for me the reason no one wanted to go for him is that to him they'd always be second to me I figured I had crackhead friends until one night one thing led to another three months later we moved in together and a year later we got married TL DR a foot massage will get you laid I took my male friend to a gay bar with me to check it out and hit on the straight girls that come there to just dance usually they like that even though they are at this place where no one should be supposedly interested in them at the bar this sensitive straight guy is there it doesn't hurt that both have been drinking anyway we approach this group of girls and I put on the love your shoes plus here's my straight friend who came out to support me but now wants to dance with someone routine instead of being flirtatious in jovial he starts going on and on about his mother needless to say they promptly walked away being a wingman is tough work sometimes side note for those who question or are skeptical of girls in gay clubs look in the comments for one that I posted this actually happened just last weekend at an adult beverage festival taking a photo of two friends wearing ridiculous hats when two girls [ __ ] mouths the thing about girls fought of amoung is that if they are cute they are merely just accepted into the front oh lovingly but I digress photos over and hafs remove they starting chatting my friend and I up the two were cute slightly inebriated in flirting heavily so clearly the right thing to do was attack however I honestly wasn't feeling it our other friends left isn't being the stand-up guy I am I continue conversing one of them while my friend is clearly hitting it off with the other this goes on for what felt like I should have been drinking but finally we broke away with the girls promising to find us so I asked my friend if he got her number he replied that he hadn't bother and asked the same back at this point we have a man moment and we both realized we were being the wingman for the other but neither of us were entrusted that's friendship TL DR we both thought we were the others wingman in college my roommate befriended a little cutie from Minnesota in his biology class she would come to our door with an open floor plan no privacy to study it was obvious my roommates wanted to smash we commenced to come up with a plan to do so he and I decided we'd invite her and others to our dorm to drink and see if he could manage to find his way back to her dorm to crush it after things winded down things go well we all drink a lot I think the six of us killed three cases of natty our neighbors leave our dorm leaving only my roommate the girl and myself I was very drunk I quickly passed out my roommate decided to roll the dice and attempt to have sex with this girl a mere 5 feet away from me I woke up at maybe 3 a.m. to right make thumping of a dead frame though shaken I was facing them I played it cool and feign sleep until he could wrap things up I'm proud I didn't alert him of my consciousness it's never okay to cock-block [Music]

Channel: Reddit Jar

Views: 12,889

Rating: 4.8755555 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/AskReddit, ask reddit, askreddit, updoot, toadfilms, sir reddit, reddit jar, askreddit funny, askreddit dumb, reddit ama, reddit ask me anything, r/askreddit, reddit stories, reddit story, askreddit scary, askreddit stupid, scary stories, askreddit new, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, askreddit top posts, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, askreddit stories, best of reddit, reddit best, funny askreddit, storytime with reddit, r/

Id: lnSdhlv9jvc

Length: 35min 46sec (2146 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 29 2019