Teachers Share Best "Smart-Ass" Response They've Ever Heard From A Student In School (r/AskReddit)

teachers what was the best smartass response from a student you have heard a kid in my math class would sleep on his desk one day the teacher called on him to answer a problem on the chalkboard he woke up solved the problem on the board with zero difficulty and then just went back to sleep the teacher repeated the same thing a few times with similar results and then just let him sleep the rest of the year my history teacher would spend half the class making jokes directed at the students one student in particular always took the jokes on the shin and never really made any comebacks eventually the teacher called him out and jokingly lectured him about standing up for himself he ended his rant with you've got it be a man you've gotta be like me the student replied with well which one do you want me to be a man or do you want me to be like you I've told this story on reddit before but this really shy kid that doesn't really speak much was getting picked on by this mean girl when the teacher tells her be nice to him he might be your boss someday without missing a beat he replies no thanks I don't want to be a pimp when I grow up Dean well this one was during coaching classes for entrance exams the maths teacher reduced a given problem to a simpler form and challenged the students so this expression doesn't fit any of the given standard forms for us to find the particular integral so what do you propose we do a kid from the back shouted the next question this sounds like my entire calculus class my senior year not a teacher but this happened in an upper-level French class where you can only speak French if you speak English the teacher scolds you in French my friend walked in a few minutes late for a quiz and wasn't allowed to take it my friend looked at the teacher and said in English that's bullshit the teacher looked back and Grilli and said also in English what did you just say my friend and Frances Monsieur he got kicked out of the class in French class we had one guy say to his friend you bastard right as a teacher walked in front of them and the whole class got quiet we thought they were in for it instead she goes in France seis say Bar tarde I witnessed a rather sad one in my chemistry class sophomore year one of my friends was going through some family issues and his dad just left for a year or so the kid was acting up in class and the teacher was like do you want me to call your dad and he was like if he picks up tell him to come home soon I had a friend who told the teacher he wasn't going to be able to come to an after-school event she started fussing at him telling him that he wouldn't have make it to college because of how irresponsible he was when she finally asked why he couldn't come he replied my house burned down in high school one of my teachers was having a disagreement with a student I can't remember what it was about but finally the teacher asked him if she wanted her to call his mother the student replies do it them my momma will agree with me too the teacher then asks him to leave her class he goes you know what I'm gonna call my mom for you he then whips out his cell phone and calls his mom on speaker hey MA this teacher want to talk to you the whole class just lost it my wife when she was in high school had a PE teacher that pulled this kind of thing the class was doing some exercises but my wife kept finishing them faster than the lazier students so she would be standing around waiting for the rest of the students to finish the teacher accused her of not doing them my wife said she had done them and they argued back and forth a bit the teacher then decided to call my wife's father to get her in trouble or something the teacher actually got a hold of him on speakerphone so the whole class could listen the teacher tells him all about how your daughter says she finished her exercises but is clearly lying and won't do more exercises or something my father-in-law who was a partner in a very successful business law firm listens quietly through the whole thing and then responds with my normal billing raters large number of dollars per hour don't waste my time with this crap if my daughter says she did the exercises than she did them don't ever call me again and then hung up the teacher immediately told everyone to get back to their exercises for the day and never brought it up again I'm not a teacher but I had a friend in school who was always pretty dramatic she actually did have IBS though so we're in this fishy teacher's class and she keeps asking to use the bathroom the teacher says no my friends like I have IBS though and the teacher is like tell me what those initials mean and I will let you go so she screams it means I have to shit and takes off out of the room a more common version of this is girl can I use the bathroom male teacher yes go picks up bag male teacher loudly why do you need your bag to go to the toilet I once saw a girl answers something like cause some of us bleed from our vaginas want me to get you proof he just apologized and never made the same question to anyone again not a teacher but witnessed a student we had a substitute who was leafing through the yearbook and got to the senior superlatives our school mascot was the Eagles she started reading some of it aloud and said oh that's nice sorrow most school spirited a student answered back there because she's always spread eagle the substitute couldn't keep from laughing as much as she tried not to this is sort of a flip from the question but there was this awesome history teacher I had freshman year of high school who was just always in an amazing mood we all call him mr. Smith one day everyone is sitting in class waiting for the tardy bell to ring when a kid sneaks a condom onto the door handle the bell rings and mr. Smith walks into the room grabs the handle to close the door and pulls the condom off of it looks at the condom helmet for a split second and stuffs it into his pocket while saying thanks I'll need this later thanks but it's not parents evening yet I had a teacher teleclass made no drinks in class he got up from his seat picked up the teachers drink and deposited in the garbage with his drink she sent him to the office not me but a colleague told me this story it was one of his first years teaching so he was about 22 to 24 at the time it was a junior high science class and he told the student to stop messing around and get back to work the students response man I got Bish's older than you all I'm looking at right now is a bish younger than me back to work our teacher was teaching us about the states of matter solid liquid and gas he was talking about how a solid you can break into littler pieces but how you can't do the same to liquids or gases so I blurt out but you can break wind I still talk to that teacher and he says that was the best part of his teaching career this was in sixth grade I've taught preschool for years and one of my favorite dad responses to children who are being whiny just to whine is the hi I'm your teacher example I'm thirsty hi thirsty I'm your teacher anyway one day after a long week I sat down to lunch with my class preschool remember four to five year olds and satyr child we all call him Tommy boy Tommy I'm really tired today without skipping a beat he swallows his mac and cheese looks me right in the eyes and says hi really tired I'm Tommy that was the day I knew I had taught him all I could let me point out that I'm female since people will assume I'm a guy I taught in an inner-city school we were talking about prime numbers so I would have kids give me a number and we'd work out if the number was a prime number on the board one kid wasn't paying attention so me being a young teacher I thought I'd catch him off guard and call on him it went something along the lines of mark do you have a number huh I need your number shieet play it cool go we can talk after class the whole room lost their shit and I turned red from embarrassment they then laughed at how red I got my sister who is a teacher was taking her kindergarten class through the lunch line well this day was st. Patrick's Day so there was green cupcakes my sister told the class jokingly don't eat too many cupcakes or you'll turn green a young black boy looks up at her and says miss Carey I ain't never seen a green brother before had my class of working class kids at an art gallery as we waited for our tour to begin we played on the small playground near the door a prep school kid in a uniform approached two of my boys and said I bet I'm smarter than you are I watched to make sure no blood was drawn my students can hold their own pretty much anywhere and they don't accept insults casually but they were cool no you're not are you in grade two the boy said he wasn't one of my boys said so then we're all grade two so we are all grade too smart he went back to climbing the monkey bars but the prep school kid continued I know I'm smarter let's do some math and I'll prove it the toughest kid in my room look this guy square in the eye and said well I'm smart enough not to do math when I'm having fun on a playground just yesterday actually one of my classes is fun in that we give each other hard times but all in good fun and accomplish a lot a girl starts giggling uncontrollably for no reason and she's a bit of an airhead so I asked her if she saw something shiny and if that entertained her another boy jumps in and says yeah mr. your head I'm going bald I wanted to pretend to be mad but it was just too damn funny in HS our functions and relations teacher would always start to say something forget it and say I lost my train of thought well one day a buddy of mine replies it's okay sir there were no important passengers on board student in my Spanish class was sleeping like a ways teacher finally got tired of it and tried to embarrass him by waking him up and at him in Spanish the student responded with I'm back here minding my own business not causing any sort of distractions at all and you decide to stop everyone's learning by trying to make me look stupid we all know I have no idea what you're saying so please stop disrupting the class and let me go back to not bothering anyone she never said another word to him we had a teacher that would always threaten to phone our home if we were misbehaving which she promptly stopped after her teacher what would your mother say if I called home right now student she would say hello I wasn't in the class but my buddy swears that one time his history teacher called a student's mother because he was sleeping in class he said the teacher got all the parents numbers at the beginning of the year I went to a mostly black school and evidently this kid had one of those Stern black moms anyway the teacher doesn't say a word to the kid who's asleep he quietly told the mom he was sleeping in class and would she like to have a word with him about that he holds the cell phone to the kids ear and she ducking goes off my buddy said you could hear her across the room that poor kid spent the rest of the day walking the Green Mile I can imagine that black mom's voice right now boy have you lost your damn mind why are you sleeping in class I worked myself to the bone so you can get yourself an education and you sleep through it Lord Jesus give me strength if you can't give me a functional demonstration of a Mandelbrot set when you get home I'm R Tan your hide my math teacher said if you don't understand ask me there are no stupid questions where a guy in my class quickly responded is that so do you cut your toenails with a chain saw a kid mocked me when I said don't do that I started to yell at him and he said no man that's a song he then spontaneously came up with a rap song called don't do that and his friend started making beats I was no longer mad Spanish class in high school two guys who grew up in spanish-speaking families would goofing off at the back of class one guy says that he could stand the weight of another person standing on his stomach and the other guy who was probably just shy of 200 pounds doesn't believe him so the first guy gets on the ground in the back of class and the other guy gets up and stands on his stomach the teacher sees this and immediately yelled at the guy on the ground to get back into his seat without missing a beat he says I can't he's standing on me the other guy doesn't move because he wasn't yelled at meanwhile the teacher continues to be upset that the guy on the ground isn't listening to her how the hell could you talk with 200 pounds standing on you with your mouth

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Keywords: r/ask reddit, r/ askreddit, askreddit student, askreddit school, askreddit teacher, askreddit school stories, reddit school stories, r/askreddit school, r/iamverysmart, i am very smart, reddit i am very smart, smart student response, reddit sick burns, reddit apply cold water to the burned area, best posts and comments

Id: IpDOvgyKw_c

Length: 13min 43sec (823 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 11 2019