Weekend Update: Trump’s Final 2020 Election Message - SNL

>>> IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. THE ELECTION IS THREE DAYS AWAY AND TRUMP HAS FINALLY FOUND A WINNING MESSAGE. >> YOU KNOW, OUR DOCTORS GET MORE MONEY IF SOMEBODY DIES FROM COVID, YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? [ BOOS ] >> YEAH, THAT'S OUR PRESIDENT, RECENTLY SAVED BY DOCTORS, SAYING DOCTORS WANT MORE COVID FOR MONEY. WHEN MAKES ME THINK TRUMP SURVIVED COVID TO SAVE MONEY ON DOCTORS. MULTIPLE TRUMP SUPPORTERS STRANDED AT A FREEZING COLD RALLY IN NEBRASKA WERE HOSPITALIZED FROM HYPOTHERMIA, I ASSUME BECAUSE TRUMP TOLD THEM JACKETS DON'T WORK. [ LAUGHTER ] DON'T WORRY, THE PRESIDENT ISN'T TRYING TO KILL SUPPORTERS, HE'S SUCCEEDING AT KILLING HIS SUPPORTERS. [ LAUGHTER ] ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY, AROUND 30,000 COVID CASES AND 700 DEATHS HAVE BEEN TIED TO TRUMP RALLIES. THAT MEANS HE'S OFFICIALLY KILLED MORE PEOPLE ACROSS THE MIDWEST THAN JEFFREY DAHMER AND JOHN WAYNE GACY COMBINED. WHICH IS ALSO KIND OF WHAT TRUMP LOOKS LIKE. I NEVER SAW A CANDIDATE TALKING TO GILBERT GODFREY ABOUT WHAT TO DO IN ISRAEL. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT WOULD BE INSULTING. RIGHT? PLUS RAPPERS ARE WAY TOO BUSY TO BE LEADERS ANYWAY. I MEAN, I LOVE ICE CUBE, BUT YOU KNOW HOW MANY JOBS HE HAS ON TOP OF NEGOTIATING FOR BLACK PEOPLE? YOU KNOW WHY MALCOLM AND MARTIN WERE SUCH GREAT LEADERS? BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T ALSO WORKING ON "BARBERSHOP 4." [ LAUGHTER ] >>> EXPERTS SAY JOE BIDEN COULD WIN IN GEORGIA IF HE CAN ASSEMBLE A COALITION OF BLACK VOTERS, WHITE WOMEN, BASICALLY "THE VOICE." [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >>> JARED KUSHNER, WHO ALSO LOOKS LIKE A CHILD DRESSED UP FOR A FUNERAL -- [ LAUGHTER ] JARED SAID MONDAY THAT BLACK AMERICANS HAVE TO WANT TO HELP THEMSELVES IF THEY WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL. YEAH. I DON'T KNOW IF I TRUST A GUY WHO THINKS THE BLACK EXPERIENCE IS THE HIGHEST TIER AT AMERICAN EXPRESS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN WITH THIS ELECTION, BECAUSE THE TENSION IS KILLING ME. I DON'T NO WHAT THIS WORLD'S GOING TO BE AFTER TUESDAY. I MAY NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN, COLIN. WE MIGHT BOTH GET DRAFTED IN THE RACE WAR. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S NOT FAIR. YOU JUST MARRIED SCARLETT JOHANSSON. I JUST BOUGHT A NEW ELECTRIC BIKE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WE'RE BOTH DOING EQUALLY GREAT. [ LAUGHTER ] I FEEL LIKE THE BAND ON "THE TITANIC." EVERYTHING'S GOING BAD AND I'M UP HERE, LIKE, HEY, DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE CONSTIPATED ACCOUNTANT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> WAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE ONE ABOUT THE CONSTIPATED ACCOUNTANT? >> HE COULDN'T BUDGE IT SO HE HAD TO WORK IT OUT WITH A PENCIL. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] YOU NEVER HEARD THAT? WHATEVER, MAN. >>> THE ELECTION IS ONLY THREE DAYS AND I'M A LITTLE WORRIED, MAINLY BECAUSE OF THAT JOKE. [ LAUGHTER ] ALL I THINK AND BELIEVE IS WE CANNOT DO ANOTHER FOUR YEARS OF TRUMP. IT TOO IS MUCH. EVERY DAY I WAKE UP AFTER TWO HOURS OF SLEEP AND I GOOGLE "AMERICA, STILL DEMOCRACY?" [ LAUGHTER ] EVEN IF YOU LIKE TRUMP, AT THIS POINT YOU HAVE TO BE EXHAUSTED. REMEMBER THAT FRIEND YOU HAD WHO AT 4:00 A.M. WOULD BE LIKE, YEAH, WHERE WE GOING NEXT? YOU'RE LIKE, THIS IS FUN BUT IF I KEEP HANGING OUT WITH THIS DUDE, I'M GOING TO DIE. [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT NOW IT FEELS LIKE TRUMP WANTS US TO DO ANOTHER BUMP FROM WHATEVER HE GOT FROM HIS MUPPET DOCTOR, JUST SEE WHERE THE NIGHT TAKES US. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I THINK I'M CALLING A DESIGNATED DRIVER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I JUST REALLY HOPE HE ALSO BRINGS THIS GUY WITH HIM. >> OH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THAT'S WHAT I DO! THAT'S WHAT I DO! >> OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ]

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 3,925,307

Keywords: snl, saturday night live, season 46, snl 46, weekend update, weekend update snl, weekend update Saturday night live, colin jost, Michael che, trump election 2020, joe biden, Donald trump, snl news, Saturday night live news, kamala harris, covid-19, 2020 election, lil wayne, s46, s46e5, episode 5, live, new york, comedy, sketch, funny, hilarious, late night, host, music, guest, laugh, impersonation, actor, musician, John Mulaney

Id: 07ZR7LMAgFc

Length: 5min 14sec (314 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 31 2020