Weekend Update: Donald Trump Swears-In - SNL

>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY? >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M COLIN JOST. >> I'M MICHAEL CHE. SO ON FRIDAY HALF OF AMERICA HAD TO GO OUT AND BUY A NEW TV. DONALD TRUMP WAS SWORN IN AS THE 45th PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. MANY HAVE NOTED THAT THE CROWD AT THE INAUGURATION WAS SMALLER THAN USUAL BUT YOU CAN'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO STAND OUTSIDE IN THE COLD RAIN KNOWING THEY ARE ABOUT TO LOSE THEIR HEALTH CARE. MY FAVORITE PART WAS WATCHING THE REACTION TO TRUMP'S SPEECH LIKE THIS ONE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU KNOW, THEY SAY A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS. THIS PICTURE OF MICHELLE ONLY SAYS ONE. MM. >>> ON THURSDAY AN INAUGURAL CONCERT FEATURING THREE DOORS DOWN, LEE GREENWOOD AND TOBY KEITH WAS HELD IN FRONT OF THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL. IT WAS THE SECOND WORST LIVE PERFORMANCE LINCOLN HAS EVER ATTENDED. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> DONALD TRUMP WAS SWORN IN AS PRESIDENT USING TWO BIBLES. ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S BIBLE FROM 1850 AND TRUMP'S PERSONAL BIBLE STILL IN ITS ORIGINAL WRAPPING. >> TRUMP DESCRIBED WASHINGTON AS ELITISTS WHO PROSPERED AT THE EXPENSE OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. BUT I'M SURE THAT'S GOING TO CHANGE NOW THAT HIS CABINET OF BANKERS AND OIL TYCOONS ARE IN CHARGE. MM. >> THERE WERE MASSIVE PROTESTS DURING THE INAUGURATION AND SOME BECAME VIOLENT LIKE WHEN RICHARD SPENCER GOT SOCKED IN THE FACE JUST FOR LIVING. LOOK AT THIS. >> IT'S KIND OF -- >> OH, MAN. THAT JUST MAKES ME SO SAD. >> JUST HOURS AGO SEAN SPICER MADE HIS FIRST APPEARANCE AS WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY. HE SEEMED DEFENSIVE ABOUT HOW MANY PEOPLE CAME TO WATCH TRUMP'S INAUGURATION. >> THIS IS THE LARGEST AUDIENCE TO EVER WITNESS AN INAUGURATION, PERIOD. >> I DON'T TRUST ANYONE WHO ENDS A SENTENCE WITH THE WORD PERIOD. IMAGINE SOMEONE SAID, LOOK, I'M A DOCTOR, PERIOD. I DON'T THINK THIS VAN IS A REAL HOSPITAL. >> OUTSTANDING PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA GAVE HIS FINAL PRESS CONFERENCE ON WEDNESDAY. HE TOLD THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, I THINK WE ARE GOING TO BE OKAY, WHICH SOUNDS COMFORTING. BUT REMEMBER, THAT'S WHAT GEORGE TELLS LENNY AT THE END OF "OF MICE AND MEN." IN TOTAL DURING TWO TERMS IN OFFICE PRESIDENT OBAMA COMMUTED THE PRISON SENTENCES OF 1,385 FUTURE DEMOCRATS. THE WOMEN'S MARCH IN WASHINGTON WAS HELD TODAY. IT IS ESTIMATED THAT THE TURNOUT WAS TWICE AS BIG AS THE INAUGURATION. BUT, YOU KNOW, SIZE DOESN'T MATTER. AM I RIGHT, LADIES? NO? I'M NOT? IT'S THE NUMBER ONE THING? OKAY. IT WAS AN AMAZING SHOW OF SUPPORT FOR FEMINISM. SOME GROUPS WERE ASKED NOT TO MARCH BECAUSE OF PRO LIFE VIEWS, WHICH RAISES THE QUESTION, WHAT MAKES A FEMINIST A FEMINIST? IT'S CONFUSING. MY MOTHER RAISED SEVEN KIDS BY HERSELF. SHE'S THE STRONGEST WOMAN I KNOW. I ASKED HER, ARE YOU A FEMINIST. SHE SAID, BOY, GOD MADE ADAM AND EVE. I SAID THAT'S NOT WHAT THAT MEANS. A FEMINIST IS JUST SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IN EQUAL RIGHTS FOR WOMEN. THAT'S EASY TO GET BEHIND THAT IS UNTIL YOU SEE A FEMINIST SCREAMING INTO A COP'S FACE WEARING A UTERUS HAT AND I SAY, OH, THERE ARE LEVELS TO THIS. I THINK IT'S WEIRD TO GET A SPECIAL NAME FOR BEING A REASONABLE PERSON. THAT'S ALL IT IS. BELIEVING IN EQUALITY JUST MEANS YOU'RE NOT A DICK. FOR ME, THAT'S ENOUGH. I SUPPORT WOMEN'S RIGHTS FOR THE SAME REASON I SUPPORT CIVIL RIGHTS FOR THE SAME REASON I DON'T LET MY COUSIN, COLIN. BECAUSE I'M NOT A DICK. >> THE MOVIE "HIDDEN FIGURES" WHICH TELLS THE TRUE STORY OF BLACK FEMALE ENGINEERS IN 1960s NASA IS BEING CALLED THIS YEAR'S BREAK OUT FILM. HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS LESLIE JONES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THANK YOU, COLIN. >> NICE TO SEE YOU. YOU SAW "HIDDEN FIGURES?" >> YES, I DID. AND I HAVE TO ADMIT I ALMOST DIDN'T WATCH IT. I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE "THE HELP" IN SPACE. >> IT'S NOT "THE HELP" IN SPACE. >> I KNOW. YOU CREAMY SLICE OF PROVOLONE CHEESE. >> PROVOLONE CHEESE? >> I LIKE CHEESE. BUT, I'M SO GLAD I WATCHED THE MOVIE. IT TAUGHT ME SOMETHING I NEVER KNEW. BLACK WOMEN HELPED ASTRONAUTS GO TO SPACE. WHY DIDN'T THEY TEACH ME THAT IN SCHOOL? OKAY? IF I HAD KNOWN THAT AS A KID WHO KNOWS WHERE I WOULD BE. >> YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE ENDED UP GOING TO SPACE? >> HELL NO. IT'S COLD AND SCARY OUT THERE. SPACE IS WHERE THE PREDATOR COMES FROM. HERE'S MY ISSUE. WE CRAM ALL OF THE BLACK HISTORY INTO JUST ONE MONTH. ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR IS GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER AND ALL HIS PEANUT STUFF. WE SHOULD LEARN BLACK HISTORY ALL THROUGH THE YEAR AND TEACH IT TO EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] LIKE DID YOU KNOW A BLACK MAN INVENTED THE TRAFFIC LIGHT? >> I JUST LEARNED THAT. MAYBE I WOULD HAVE RESPECTED THE TRAFFIC LIGHT MORE IF I KNEW THE SIGNALS WAS COMING FROM A BROTHER. YOU KNOW? IF I KNEW THE RED LIGHT WAS SAYING, STOP, SISTER. YELLOW SAYING, SLOW DOWN, BABY. AND GREEN IS LIKE, PUSH THROUGH, BOO. AND GET THIS. A BLACK PERSON INVENTED THE MAILBOX! HOW DID Y'ALL MISS THAT ONE, WHITE PEOPLE? DIDN'T YOU SEE THE LETTERS ON THE GROUND AND THINK, THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY. WE ARE MORE THAN THIS PEANUT STUFF. NOW LET ME BLOW YOUR MIND. CAN R YOU READY? >> SURE. >> THE LONE RANGER WAS BLACK. THE LONE RANGER, COLIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW I FOUND OUT? BY WATCHING MY FAVORITE SHOW "TIMELESS" ON NBC MONDAY NIGHTS AT 10:00 P.M. >> NBC'S NOT GOING TO PAY YOU MORE TO -- >> SHUT UP. >> I ALSO DON'T THINK "TIMELESS" IS ACCURATE. >> SHUT UP. >> YEAH, THAT'S FINE. >> GUESS WHAT ELSE A BLACK PERSON INVENTED? CALLER I.D. AND CALL WAITING. >> REALLY? >> YES. IT WAS INVENTED BY DR. SHIRLEY JACKSON. SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE CALLED SHIRLEY BACK. BECAUSE THAT BITCH INVENTED A WAY TO MAKE YOU CALL HER BACK. SHE WASN'T EVEN IN TECH. SHE WAS JUST A CHICK WHO WANTED CHARLES TO PICK UP THE PHONE. >> WHO IS CHARLES? >> CHARLES KNOWS WHO HE IS. [ APPLAUSE ] LOOK. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO SPARK SOMETHING IN A PERSON. THE FIRST TIME I HEARD RICHARD PRYOR'S VOICE I KNEW I WOULD BE A COMEDIAN. THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO TELL EVERYBODY'S STORY. LISTEN, HOLLYWOOD, IF YOU WRITE THE LESLIE JONES STORY, DON'T LONE RANGER ME AND CAST ME AS SOME PRETTY LITTLE WHITE GIRL. CAST ME THE WAY I SEE MYSELF PAM GREER FROM TEN YEARS AGO OR MALIA OBAMA TEN YEARS FROM NOW. THAT'S WHAT I WANT. >> LESLIE JONES, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> CHARLES KNOWS WHO HE IS! >> THAT WAS ABOUT "HIDDEN FIGURES," RIGHT? >>> SCIENTISTS IN BRITAIN UNCOVERED A 4,000-YEAR-OLD ETCHING OF A FACE IN A ROCK, WHICH MAY BE THE FIRST SELFIE OR -- HEAR ME OUT -- IT ISN'T.

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 3,477,043

Keywords: SNL, Saturday Night Live, Season 42, Episode 1716, Aziz Ansari, Weekend Update, Colin Jost, Michael Che, Leslie Jones, live, new york, comedy, sketch, funny, hilarious, late night, host, music, guest, laugh, impersonation, episode 12, comedian, actor, Master of None, animals., parks and recreation, rapper, dark sky paradise, i don’t fuck with you, Big Sean, Donald Trump, Trump, Inauguration, Sean Spicer, White House, press secretary, Hidden Figures, women's march, black history month

Id: Rp_3fvn61Mc

Length: 9min 9sec (549 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 28 2017