Out of pocket tik toks

we all know tick-tock is a place of confident over-sharing you know there's no thought or consideration for yourself years even months in the future it's all about right now if it makes a good tick tock share it if my cat stiffened up like a board eating a i don't know a bag of checker pieces before we call the vet we should probably get this on tick tock now as i say that for me personally i feel i have a very high tolerance for shock value simply because of what i grew up with on the internet you know i got started on rotten.com which was a website where you might see you know front page a dude's head split open from doing a jumping jack beneath a helicopter between that two girls one cup liveleak.com i just feel that's built up in immunity in me you know i have a stronger stomach for shock value i have a competition eater's stomach for shock value if that makes sense but for the last few months i feel like i've been going soft like i'm losing that appetite starting to develop weird things like empathy thinking about other people's feelings and contextualizing their behavior and i don't like that so today i want to run through a bunch of tech talks and see if i can walk back my empathy and see if um really any of these shock me i just want to see if i can still be got so strap in and before we get going just remember to do it do it all right let's go first up is this one and the only thing we need to know about it is the caption says gotta love disintegrating shorts so let's see what's up what's up what's up what happened what's up in a thong tick tock you have to work harder than that next [Music] see this makes me feel good because my first instinct was to laugh and that tells me i don't have any empathy oh nick is your car blue that's my car that's way cooler than yours oh well i bet you his girlfriend's hotter than mine too so how about that here we go again i want to laugh but i'ma just i'm going to say laughter doesn't count as being got i want to be like you know i want to be shocked i want to be disgusted revolted in some way laughter i mean we all know i laugh at anything my dad moved my car this morning and i realized there is a pawn print of me bent over the hood how is your day going oh my god no no oh my god i'm so [ __ ] embarrassed come on come on man come on two blues clues on the hood of a car oh my dad yeah right man your dad is geriatric you know how many pills he's on don't care about those blues clues he doesn't even know if those are real he's busy trying to play it off like he doesn't see blue hopping around the front yard as he's moving your car he probably walked by the front of that car looked at those handprints and just heard and just tried to shake it off you just maybe made a mental note i should think it's time to change my medication what is this you drove all the way home last night like that i did i drove nothing i feel nothing next when you're gonna tell her that we did that too she thinks it's special but it's all reused see this i'm feeling a little if there's a there's a like a got meter right here it's like it's starting to go off a little bit this creeps me out this is someone's child joking about that man i guess it's an easy joke to make when your dad's not around when the ends start doing flips after a kid snaps his leg [Music] imagine your emts are the jabberwockies man laid up in the stretcher excruciating pain and this dude is in front of you like oh damn it i wish i could do a front flip that'd be so goddamn funny and you know what i'm not gonna say shocks but that that got me i've been got put one on the board forgot went to africa and three months later this thing was crawling out of my rear all right yep there's another one coming mark come here come here now i'm just crawling out of my butt oh no no no no no oh no oh no oh no no no no no i mean that stinks man but have you seen jackass we watched seven feet of dookie wash out of i don't know johnny knoxville's butthole a little worm come on man i mean that's gross and i feel bad for the guy but i also feel we've all taken one point in our life that felt like it could have been alive so doesn't really get me but you know i'm glad to know he's okay all right i'm gonna only say one thing why is there a bmi calculator on a wii and why does it have that music for the result [Music] i need to keep it together because i was messed up i'm getting ripped tonight r.i.p my actual it's called vulva cancer and they're gonna chop the [ __ ] with me so if you could leave a joke in the comments about cooter cancer that will make me laugh instead of cry i would really appreciate it hey i mean if you end up needing you know cooter chemo you never have to shave again if your husband's into that kind of thing hey hey i'm just doing what she asked okay don't don't judge me all right i showed up to do a job that one time in fourth grade when there was a drop of [ __ ] on the floor and no one would admit to it so my teacher lined oh yo what the [ __ ] i hope to god that teacher is in prison man are you joking me the sheriff brought the canine dog in there and the teacher said nah nah i got it line them up my nose is impeccable man yo teacher smelling children's asses is awful man put one on the board that got me are you joking me bro that's real what kind of scenario is that man who's here who's here no one wants to tell me everybody get against the wall what why would that be their first reaction is to smell their asses manually oh man i'm pissed i'm pissed i hope that person's in jail for all we know that wasn't even real that man that's creepy all right all right next my mom is my ob gyn and she saw my back door and asked if i do anal no she isn't and no she didn't out of here next i've been got that's another got right there that's three that's three forgot that just took my mood way down oh i was up here and that took me down here wow bro you got on tick-tock to break down your shrimp chip how do you get a sock pregnant bro this girl went to the top of a parking garage to twerk to the prisoners across the street and they're flashing there lights for her blah blah blah spongebob song you know community service i guess not really that shocking more charitable than anything bless her heart we need more people like that in this world calling him daddy is lame moan out his gamer tag uh yeah most of us wouldn't last that long there's like a lot more characters in the gamer tag then you know probably won't make it to the end of the gamer tag so let's go let's get it puke hit that puke she just fart yep that's p that's p that's p i don't even know if we can show that i really don't know if we can show that but her water broke she dead lifted so much weight that she crushed whatever baby could have grown in there [Applause] [Music] i've seen people die get hurt all that on the internet and yeah somehow steve harvey stuff it gets me sometimes man sometimes he does things that are just like mind-blowingly unbelievable more than people i don't know in harm's way of like a firework factory going off so one forgot on this one this this is i don't know why steve harvey's showing his outfit off is just [ __ ] with me like that dog has a nerf dart sticking out of its butthole oh god can we show that i don't even know the rules are on youtube anymore but that's a guy i haven't got by that one all right this is a reading one oh my god i just pooped and it was a long log unbroken and it went over the water very impressive remember i told you i told you what i say like three minutes ago everyone at some point in their life has taken a dookie that feels like it could be alive and probably qualifies for a tapeworm here it is right here i will call you girls in a little bit but just so you know grandma just passed away oh man it's not really shocking that's just hilarious best friend gets out of his relationship and i try to be supportive to her and her baby got meter hitting right now this is like a 5 out of 10. that's rough you slept on her and she slept with your husband i guess you know it's a cycle easily the single most impressive human feat has been the moon lane i mean are you sure about that because i just checked online apparently moguabi has the most impressive human feet i mean look at that yep yep that's gonna do it right there yeah that's the winner ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding i'm out see y'all next week that was way too [Music] play man much ain't gonna switch it up yeah i might lose a few ask me if i give a [ __ ]

Channel: Noel Miller

Views: 2,817,416

Keywords: noel miller, tiny meat gang, cody ko, tmg, love island, steamy tweets, suki, fortnite, games, cody and noel, uncle noel, thats cringe, thenoelmiller, noelle miller, comedy, satire, vine, rap, sketch comedy, roast, stand up

Id: NiakazZqNtU

Length: 10min 28sec (628 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 16 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/MiraMaverickMain]

Uncle Nole recognize Nicholas quite peepoPog

[u/ThatRedGuy235]

Dude I knew I saw that clip before! That’s great