♪♪ >>UH, OKAY, GUYS. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING HERE TONIGHT. PAUL AND I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. >>MICHELLE AND I GATHERED YOU ALL HERE BECAUSE WE HAVE A VERY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. >>YEAH. >>YEAH. >>YOU GUYS ARE GETTING A DIVORCE, AREN'T YOU? >>NO. WHY WOULD WE BE SMILING IF WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE? >>YEAH? >>WELL, YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT PAUL A LOT, SO, I JUST- I FIGURED YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD NEWS. >>YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT ME TO MY MOM? >>NO! I DON'T. I MEAN, WHAT- WHAT COULD I POSSIBLE COMPLAIN ABOUT? >>HIS HAIR, HIS JOB- >>RHETORICAL QUESTION, JANICE. >>SO, UM, IF YOU GUYS AREN'T GETTING A DIVORCE, WHAT'S THE ANNOUNCEMENT? >>WELL, MICHELLE AND I- >>ARE GOING TO JAIL FOR EMBEZZLEMENT? IS IT- OH, NO, YOU MURDERED SOMEONE! YOU WOULDN'T- YOU KILLED- YOU KILLED THE PRESIDENT? >>TROY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >>SORRY, I- I JUST WANTED TO GUESS BEFORE YOU TOLD US. >>AND YOU GUESSED ASSASSINATION? >>I DON'T KNOW, YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU WANT TO KILL PAUL. >>OKAY, HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU TALK TO ABOUT ME? >>NA- >>I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE GETTING A DIVORCE! >>NO ONE IS GETTING A DIVORCE, MOM! OR GOING TO JAIL FOR ANY REASON. >>GUYS, HE'S RIGHT BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO HIRE THE BEST ATTORNEYS IN THE BUSINESS, RIGHT? YEAH. >>I DON'T KNOW. THEY COULD GET PAUL FOR PERJURY. HE'S BEEN LYING SINCE HE WAS A KID. >>WHAT? >>YOU MEAN WHEN I WAS 4 AND SAID THAT THE DOG DREW ON THE WALL? >>YOU SEE MOM? HE ADMITTED IT! I HAVE BEEN TELLING MY FRIENDS FOR YEARS THAT OUR DOG COULD DRAW. I LOOKED LIKE A FOOL! >>OKAY- CALM DOWN, OKAY? PAUL DOESN'T LIE. RIGHT PAUL? >>LIE SON. LIE. >>GEORGE? THEY ARE ONE SCREW UP AWAY FROM GETTING A DIVORCE. >>COME ON! WE BROUGHT YOU HERE FOR A HAPPY REASON! >>YEAH. >>YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED! >>OH! >>WE GOT MARRIED! FIVE YEARS AGO. YOU WERE ALL THERE- YOU OFFICIATED. >>YEAH. I'M NOT SURE I WAS LICENSED AT THE TIME. >>WHAT? ARE YOU SAYING WE MIGHT NOT BE MARRIED? >>OH GOOD, THEN YOU WON'T NEED A DIVORCE. >>NO- NO, NO, WAIT, NO I CAN MARRY YOU ANYWHERE BECAUSE I'M A BOAT CAPTAIN. >>YOU OWN A CANOE. >>YEAH, A CANOE BOAT. >>I- >>OKAY, GUYS, PLEASE JUST STAY WITH US. ALL RIGHT? THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SPECIAL MOMENT FOR US, SO PLEASE STOP SHOUTING ALL OF YOUR- >>YOU'RE MOVING TO FRANCE? >>IS SOMEONE DYING? >>OH, GAMBLING ADDICTION! >>YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED FOR REALS THIS TIME! >>OH MY GOODNESS. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. >>WELL, SINCE WE'RE ALL JUST SITTING AROUND, WE ACTUALLY HAVE SOME NEWS. WE'RE EXPECTING! >>THAT'S SO GREAT! >>WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET MARRIED AGAIN JUST TO BE SURE. >>YEAH. >>I KNEW IT! I WAS LIKE- I WAS LIKE, "OH, SHE'S SO PREGNANT!" >>HI, GUYS. THANKS FOR WATCHING. >>YOU'RE JOINING A WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM. >>NO. >>BE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL. >>YOU GUYS ARE MUTANTS? >>NO. >>COMMENT AND SHARE. >>I'M A MUTANT. >>NO. TROY- >>[GASPS] I KNEW IT. >>NO, STOP. >>PUNCH ME IN THE STOMACH! >>NO. >>IT'S OKAY. I'M A MUTANT. >>YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY.
