>>[CRYING] [KNOCK ON THE DOOR]
>>WHAT IS IT SWEETIE? >>NOTHING MOM!
I'M OKAY! >>OH COME ON HONEY.
YOU KNOW YOU CAN TALK TO ME. >>THE GIRLS AT SCHOOL WERE SO MEAN TO ME TODAY.
>>WHAT? BUT, WELL HOW IS THAT?
I MEAN YOU'RE THE MOST POPULAR GIRL IN SCHOOL. >>I KNOW, THEY ALL THINK I'M AMAZING.
>>WELL SO, SO WHAT HAPPENED? >>WELL FIRST OFF I TOLD BETSY GREEN THAT SHE
HAD A REALLY MANLY FACE AND SHE GOT MAD AT ME. SHE SAID THAT I WAS RUDE. >>WHAT?
NO, THAT WASN'T RUDE. >>YEAH, AND THEN SOMEBODY
WALKED BY AND SAID THAT BETSY'S HAIR LOOKED REALLY
GOOD AND I WAS LIKE, "HER?" AND SHE STARTED CRYING JUST
'CAUSE I WAS ASKING A CLARIFYING QUESTION.
>>OH HONEY! I'M SO SORRY.
YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO TELL THE TRUTH.
>>EXACTLY! >>BETSY IS GROSS.
>>YEAH. I WANTED HER TO KNOW.
YOU KNOW? AND THEN HER LITTLE FRIEND JANICE
CAME UP AND SHE WAS LIKE, "PLEASE STOP.
YOU'RE HURTING HER FEELINGS." LIKE I WAS DOING SOMETHING WRONG OR SOMETHING.
>>OH SHE DID NOT DO THAT TO MY BABY! LIKE I WAS DOING SOMETHING WRONG OR SOMETHING.
>>OH SHE DID NOT DO THAT TO MY BABY! >>SHE DID!
AND I SAW THAT THEY WERE UPSET SO I TRIED TO MAKE THEM LAUGH AND I SAID,
"SHUT UP FAT NERDS." AND THEY BOTH STARTED CRYING.
>>WHAT? NO.
>>YEAH, I WOULD HAVE FELT BAD IF IT WASN'T ALL THEIR FAULT YOU KNOW?
>>WELL IT WAS! I MEAN THEY BROUGHT IT ON THEMSELVES.
>>YEAH! AND SO YOU KNOW, I TRIED TO
MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER SO I WENT UP TO THEM AND I
USED A REALLY SOFT VOICE WHILE THEY WERE CRYING AND I SAID,
"YOU'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING." YOU KNOW?
'CAUSE I WANTED THEM TO BE PREPARED FOR LIFE.
>>WELL YEAH! I MEAN OF COURSE I KNOW.
I TOLD THAT TO ALL THE UGLY NERDY KIDS IN I MEAN OF COURSE I KNOW.
I TOLD THAT TO ALL THE UGLY NERDY KIDS IN MY HIGH SCHOOL AND A LOT OF THEM,
THEY WENT ON TO BECOME WILDLY SUCCESSFUL
COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS JUST TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD.
>>OH! >>I JUST THINK THAT SOME PEOPLE, YOU KNOW,
THEY NEED TO ACCEPT THAT WE'RE RIGHT AND THEY'RE LOSERS.
>>YES. OH, AND THEN OH AND THEN-- >>WHAT?
>>SORRY. THAT'S MY BAD MOM.
I'M A SLOB. OH IT'S OKAY BABY.
>>SORRY. BUT THEN!
YEAH, JANICE WAS LIKE, SHE PUT ON THIS REALLY BRAVE FACE AND SHE SAID, "IF YOU CAN'T
"SAY ANYTHING NICE, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL."
AND SHE HIT MY BACK HAND WITH HER FACE. >>OH MY BABY!
>>I KNOW! MY HAND REALLY HURTS!
>>YOU KNOW WHAT? IT IS JUST LIKE THAT HARRY POTTER BOOK
WHERE EVERYBODY'S PICKING ON VOLDEMORT. I MEAN IT'S REALLY JUST
BECAUSE HE'S IMMORTAL AND AMAZING. >>YEAH!
YEAH! SPEAKING OF WHICH, JANICE HAS A HARRY POTTER
STICKER ON HER BACKPACK AND I WAS LIKE, "UH BIGOT MUCH?" AND SHE HIT MY FOOT
WITH HER TEETH! >>OH!
>>YEAH! >>JANICE, JANICE HAS SOME NERVE.
>>YEAH. >>TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
>>MRS. SULLIVAN YELLED AT ME. >>NO!
>>YEAH! >>WELL JANICE WAS THE ONE
THROWING HER TEETH IN FRONT OF YOUR FOOT LIKE THAT!
>>YEAH! EXACTLY!
SO WHILE MRS. SULLIVAN WAS IN THE BATHROOM I WAS PLAYING WITH MY LIGHTER
AND SOME OF HER ANTIQUE FAMILY PHOTOS FELL DIRECTLY ONTO THE FLAME! >>YOU KNOW WHAT?
THOSE THINGS, THEY HAPPEN! >>YEAH.
AND THEN SHE SENT ME TO THE PRINCIPLE'S OFFICE.
>>NO! WELL IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
OH HONEY, LET'S PUT THAT DOWN. WHAT IS IT SWEETHEART?
>>BRETT JOHNSON CLAIMS I RUINED HIS LIFE TODAY JUST BECAUSE I FIRED HIM.
>>OH. >>I MEAN I TRIED TO BE NICE ABOUT IT,
I EVEN DID IT IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE AND KIDS. >>OH SWEETIE!
>>OH AND MR.EGLEMEN, THE OLD MAN FROM ACCOUNTING, I PANTSED HIM AT THE BOARD MEETING
TODAY AND HE DIDN'T LIKE IT. >>OH, DADDY I'M SORRY!
>>I KNOW. HE WAS BEING UNREASONABLE.
I MEAN HE WAS PRACTICALLY BEGGING ME TO DO IT. HIS PANTS WERE RIGHT THERE! >>OH!
>>WELL YOU KNOW HONEY, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER,
I THREW AN EGG AT COP'S FACE TODAY AND HE ARRESTED ME.
I MEAN, I JUST-- I THINK THAT THAT'S DISCRIMINATION AGAINST
PEOPLE WITH GREAT AIM AND A DEEP HATRED FOR COPS.
>>YEAH. >>WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST ON PICKING ON THIS
FAMILY? >>I DON'T KNOW.
>>HEY NEIGHBORS! I FOUND ALL OF THESE MARBLES OUT ON YOUR FRONT
WALKWAY. I PICKED THEM UP FOR YOU.
>>WE LIKE TO KEEP IT HAZARDOUS SO THAT WE CAN WATCH PEOPLE FALL AND
BREAK THEIR BONES AND THINGS. STOP DOING THAT PETERSON! >>SORRY, I JUST THOUGHT--
>>YOU'RE A NOBODY PETERSON! >>YEAH, GET THAT THROUGH
YOUR THICK SKULL PETERSON! >>I'LL GO PUT THESE BACK.
>>[SOUNDS OF DISGUST] >>HUH. >>WHAT'S THE MATTER DEAR?
>>JUST PETERSON'S FACE. HE LOOKED SO, SAD.
IT MADE ME FEEL SOMETHING. >>WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>>IT MADE ME FEEL BAD INSIDE LIKE, ALMOST LIKE...
GUILT-- NO! I'M HUNGRY!
>>OH, THANK GOODNESS. >>OKAY.
LET'S GO DEMORALIZE THE NERDS AT PIZZA PALACE! >>OKAY!
