- Well, you hit my car it's got kids! - That's the point! I've got kids in my car! - I see baby on board, (dramatic music) - Hey guys, welcome to Board AF! (cheering) ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ - No candles! ♪ Happy birthday dear Shane Twain ♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ (cheering) - [Man] It's a banana cream pie! - Oh, banana! - Smosh has ruined us, 'cause
when you were walking by and that was right by my face, I'm like... (laughing) - [Woman] Yeah, that's the fear. - That's it, that, oh! - Well, let's do this properly. We had to wish him a happy
birthday because it is his day. We are playing a brand new game. This is The Game of Life,
quarter life crisis edition. - [Man] This is The Game of Life, quarter life crisis edition. Four players are given a
career, side gig, and a home. And just like in real life,
they'll each encounter love. - Divorce! - Oh no. - Oh, I hate games! - [Man] Drastic career changes, and sleeping on their parents' couch. The first player to collect $500,000 after all debts are paid,
becomes the winner of life. So I guess Damien, why don't you announce what
your job is and where you live? - My job is podcast host. - If anyone spins a two, I
get a little bit extra money, and I live in a city penthouse. - I am a pet sitter. - And I live in a spooky shack. (gasping)
- Lucky! - [Woman] What's your side hustle? - You're so broke, it's scary. My side hustle is I'm a home rental host. - I am a web designer and my
side gig is professional troll. - Internet or bridge? - I could, you know what? Up to interpretation. - [Woman] But what does your card say? (air horn blowing)
(laughing) - You don't exist yet, Sarah! - You're not canon yet. - Yeah, not in this stream. Whenever someone spins a four, the bank pays me $20,000,
just like real life. - Nice and cool - And I live in grandma's house. - I'm a customer service representative, and my side gig is interpretive dancer. And I live in a studio apartment, open the fridge from your bed! Honestly, that's kinda the life. - That is actually the
life for many people in LA. - Remember those tweets that were like, what's something that's
like classy if you're rich, but looked down upon if you're poor? That would be one of 'em. Opening a fridge from your bed. - [Man] All right, let's put
our cars in the starting area. - [Man] Nice.
- [Woman] Let's rock. - [Man] And then the rule says the player who cried last goes first. - I cried yesterday, woo! - I think it's been a
couple of days for me. - [Man] Yeah? - It's definitely been more than a day. - You cried in the video. - I think the last time I cried was in the guy who dishes
it, but can't take it, the video on Smosh. - All real tears. - Very real tears.
- Very real tears. All right, well I guess
that means you go for first. - So I get to spin first? - All right, so the way that it works on every one of the turns, you spin first and then move. If you hit a stop sign, you have to immediately stop
and do something that is there. Then afterwards you collect your money, and then pay the bank, and do your payday and all
the things in connection card. Here we go. Spin the wheel so it stays on there. (gasping)
- [Woman] Okay. Ooh, vroom vroom, let's ride. Six. - [Man] Six! - Six, rent! - Uh oh.
- Uh oh. - But you get a payday too. - You do get a payday, so
you get, what is your salary? - My salary is 60. - 60, give the lady 60. And then you pay rent. - Is 30. So can I have 20K back please? - One of us should be the banker. I guess I'll be the banker. I'll be the banker.
- Yeah, be bank boy. - You do the more work. - Yeah, that sounds fair. And then you landed on a rent
card, you did a rent card, draw an action card. - Identity theft. Swap job cards with any player. - Whoa.
- Whoa! - What was everyone's jobs again? So you got 70K. - I got a 50K salary for podcast host. - I've got a 60K salary of a pet sitter. - You're really good pet sitter. - I'm a very, I'll sit the
(bleep) out of your pets. (laughing) - Um, Matt, I think it's your turn to deal with people in
dance interpretively. - Oh, that's fair. Customer, all right. - I've lived that customer support life. It is not easy. Please be kind to people on the phone, they're trying their best. - I like how people think
that if you yell at a worker that it's gonna work out for you. - It will. The louder you are, the
more reasonable you sound. - Yeah.
- Yeah. - [Matt] So that's how it works. - Totally.
- [Matt] Yeah, exactly. All right, it is, you've
done everything on your turn. I'm gonna spin it. Here we go - Four, you guys get money! - Well, I don't get anything. - Whenever someone spins four-- - Courtney does now, what is your salary? - Oh my gosh, my so has
also professional troll and I guess 20K. - Oh, just for sitting there. Same for birthday. May I also get 20 kids? All right, I'm going for, so I'm going to choose to go this way. I had a payday and a rent noise 60, and then I get a lose 10
Haslena drawn action card out of shape. Oh, to pay the
big $20,000 way to real. Why do you pay before we
notice? Just how it works. That's how life works.
That's how life works. All right. I've paid my debts. Me and Courtney are tied
Shane to, to give me that. Sweet, sweet 20. Ooh, two, the two. So I'm going to go one, two. How much are you getting
paid? I'm getting paid a 60 K. Wow. Good for me. Boy. Try your action cards here. All right. All right. Medical bill should have gotten
health insurance before your body betrayed. You pay the bank 30. K I'll just say. - But then instead there's dares on here, but they're kind of late.
They're coming late. - We'll do dares here at smash
and smash is known for one thing, except they're not doing
physical unless it's the drug and alcohol resistance education. - Always do the dare because
it's like pay $30,000 or niche player. You'd want us
to just Bonnie, like. - Is a greedy Damien. It is your turn. I would love to. Thank you. What is life? Each day
is crazier than the last. - Woo. - Let's call it. Six stops. So stop cause it's house time. Oh, new house. Time to move. Draw two new house cards and keep your favor returned. The other card and the old
house to the bottom of the day. David Schwimmer's house. Tiny house. Woo. Bunk beds. Ooh, I like that. I'm going to keep that, but it is, it does interact with
cards, spin and move. Stop immediately. Do that action. Spin again. Well, when you
hit a stop, you spin again. So remember to rent, to pay days one rent. Yep. And then I guess we'll swim my God. That's a six again. Oh, I'm going to do, I'm going to go for the babies. So I get twins and 40 K
Whoa, look, what is your, what is your payday? 50. So that's a hundred minus rent. The old rant I think probably
would be fair. Right? Sure. So just keep me at 50
and then I get 40 for the kids. Do I do an action card?
Assemble new furniture. It's at five hours, but you did it pay the
bank 20 K gimme the tone. This is very realistic. Yeah. This is exactly what real life is like. Don't go too crazy. So
you look at them three. Okay. - We're going to go like this. Hey, 70. - Draw your action card. Stock your ex online, real and accidentally drink. - Their fiance. Pay the bank. 10 K. - That's not too big.
Not too big of a price. I feel like you're paying more in sad, sad dollars than anything else. Sad bucks. That's a proper spin. I got a four. Give me money. Damn it. What do you get to
20,000? 20 money quarter. You get it to 20 grand.
That's my side hustle. You're right. Everybody. It's good to be rich. Good to be rich. - I used to love the fake
money as a kid. Dude, look, I'm right here to the baby. Ooh. - You got a baby. We'll have
to get together for a play day. We'll have to hang out with what's. Your kid's name is Damien. I'm thinking something
classic like Phineas and Ferb. (laugh) You know, someone's done it. Oh, for sure. I love all the people who named
their kids game of Thrones. - God, this is a great name. Cause Danny, for sure. It's really cool. What are your kids' names? - Phineas and Ferb also
from also from also, yes, it was my turn to spin.
It is your turn to it. Didn't no, they didn't spin again. I just don't think that's
real. It says to stop. Stop immediately. Do that action. Spin again. It says it on
your little do that action. Spin again. It does say
that you to get that money, it keeps spinning. I
got on this free news. Well here and I'm going to get paid again. Meet your new boss.
Swap job cards with any I of on my website. You want. - To be a web designer? Honestly. It works for you. - Honestly. Just I'm living that full line
fluid job market in the work from home life. You could do anyone's job. Yeah, it's true. (laugh) I'll do surgery on you from home. All right. Saggy pockets. All you all right. I got a five. If I don't land on that, do I just keep going past or doing it? - Yeah, you can't pass it. - I'm going to go there. You're going to swap houses.
I think I'm in a house swap. Oh, heck yeah. Oh, I'm living in a tree house. Whoa, my roommate's a squirrel. Wow. You upgraded from the the tree house. Spooky shack to tree out
the car. That's right. Don't I spin again? Yes you do. Oh, you do spin again. My apologies. That's a vibe. - Oh. - Shane you're in the same car
spot or someone else you eat. You have to pay 10. K. Is that a thing? It's a thing. I didn't realize it. - I'm not seeing car crash. I got here earlier than
y'all read the pamphlet. I don't care. All right. - I see you both pay 10,000.
Wait, I pay unacceptable. You hit my car. I it's got kids. That's the point? I got kids in my car. I see baby on board. I
say, I don't believe you. Wow. Treat yourself because you're
killing it at this whole adulting thing. Pay the bank. $10,000. That is one night at
Dave and Buster's 10,000. That's a lot of spend
$10,000. David Buster. That's right. I could decorate this
place. Look like a DB six. You know how you make
it? A Dave and busters. You just have a drunk white
guy peeing in the corner, Dave and busters somewhere.
So I got a payday, a rent and a job. I'm going to be, Oh God. I went from podcast, host
a social media influencer. I get a spouse to know. I got a why food? Yup. And then spin again. I'm one to land on a payday.
I would like 90 K please. - Eats. Cause we crashed. - Yeah. You get more money. Thank you. And thank you. I'm so sorry. You guys have
a brand new family worth it. - They have a cans in the back of the car. - Oh my God. Go back to school. All the crippling debt minus
the frat parties and unlimited meal plans pay the big 50 K. Whoa. That actually tracks. Now Courtney goes. - My life. It's all half a six man. Weird dude. Dude, I get married. I want a lady. Hi lady. Luck into my marriage. - That's your vows.
Welcome to my marriage. - My new paint. Oh, Oh 90. Hey, she's got that wife money. Yeah. Alright. Move out. Return your house card to
the deck. Shuffle and draw a. - New one. Okay. So I'm no longer in a
studio apartment with my wife. What's your wife's name? Stephanie. But we call him Steve for sure. Wait, that's Stevie from ethical. Oh no. Can't wait for that to get clipped. - Parent's basement. - Smells like your dad
hamster. Alright, my turn six. Yeah. Lots of sixes. No, it's something can go wrong this year. - Oh no. Hey guys. That's how it goes. That's fair. - Alright. Fired. Oh, no. Return your job card to the deck. Shuffle and draw a new one. Come on. - It could be good. It could be. I just
got the space engineer. - Based engineers. I'm hoping that a social
media influencer can just lose their job and suddenly be an astronaut. That's my plan. Barbie would do. Ooh. I went from being a web
designer to a personal injury lawyer. That's all he is now 70,000. Whoa. And your side gig
is professional smuggler. Have you been in an accident? What? 800 big spoon. Esquire. I meant for the injury. Big spoon Esquire. You see my billboards all
up and down the one Oh one. Just give me a call. What if it just says I had an accident? It doesn't give you a number accident. Oh, we should do that. Like ads with no call to action. It's just literally bad credit. They're like guy Joe Or do I tell myself you get
20 of yourself? Whenever? Yeah. Whenever someone you're someone, especially on your birthday,
big guy, Me too bad. And on your coop, Leandro
Snowline needs an arrow. Be your parents for money. It was either that or sell a
kidney collect 100,000 from the bank. I get a K units. What a, what a, what? An arc there. I got rent payday lost50,000. Then got paid a hundred thousand dollars. What a Tuesday So I will go anyone who's made more than $500,000? They don't do that. Never
give up and have a bad life. So I need 60. And that's with your spouse pay? Yes. With that as your spouse's name? Elizabeth, who is my girth biker. So this is two 40. I'm also
a two 40, which isn't saying, Oh, but I haven't done my action
yet about to sell a kidney, eat a bone, lose your spouse and draw
a new job and house card. Keep the kids. You can't
get rid of him that easily. Right? Well Elizabeth, maybe. Cause they called her
girth for sure. Yeah. It might've been amazing.
That's what it is. A new job is Hey, literally
equal history professor. That's awesome. Oh no. A dream 60 K rent. My God. I like how the point of this
game is to have just the cheapest course. Of course. That's the game. Like I live in a tree house and
it's working out really well up until now. Out of sheer necessity for
having to move somewhere. I that's always been my thing. I'm like, I want to save my money.
I don't need a fancy boy, but now I'm yeah, I don't need my shirt. I could live in a tree house. - I give myself a side hustle. Yeah. - Oh no. - Games by CV. - We checked his internet. You won't believe what I saw
Courtney and Stephanie have he was watching HBO. Steve. Why? The 20 K Oh, give me 20 K two. How. This is no, this is a good zone. If you look at it, look
at it a different way. It's true. It's true. Divorce. Oh no. - I don't have a spouse. - I just got kids. Oh, I lucked out. Oh good. Spin. Spin. Oh. - Which means I get 20. - Hold on. You're dead now. No, no wifi. Everyone spins. If you
spend a one to a two, you get 20 K three to four,
you get 30 K five to six. You get 40 K. So everyone spins. So you are now both at two 90. Are we tied more than halfway
there? So I get, I get 20. He gets 20, two, three, four. And that gives me 70. K I just want to remind you
that you're divorced. Hi. Thank you. I see you everywhere I go. I hear, I hear girth is doing great. She's very successful. Do your action. Oh, it was good sloppy roommate
or this toenail clippings on your coffee table. Hey, the bank 30 K or dare share
your roommate horror story. I'm going to do the deal. - It's a good horror story. - Yeah. Tell a story. Well, you, you know
this one you were there. So we had a roommate that
decided to take some time away from the space. I forget he
was on some like extended trip. So we had a couple move in, in their place and they were
like nice on the surface. But they were so, so messy and so dirty. If they used any pan, it would just be scrubbed
and scratched all the hell. Like they use steel wool on like anything. Cause they've just never had
to clean a pan before maybe. Or when they moved out, they
left fruit in the capitalist. They left it black sludge
covered in bugs, like everywhere. We were having tons of flies and gnats. And they had left a fruit way
up in the top cupboard like in the week, think it's a
fruit black Blackfoot. And so this was a cupboard
that we rarely opened up and cause it was theirs. I
was kind of like, wait, I think there's some
flies coming from there. And I opened it up and like a
horror Winnie the Pooh style. It was like, Fugs like flew out like a
black Sorum and I'm just like, I'm just like, Hey, I'm like literally Damien
probably heard from his room and just scream. Well, that is your dad as your dare story. I appreciate it. - Good spin. I got 20 pay hey and I have to pay rent, but just 10 K's. So just give me 10 friends. You have to pull it. Action. Action. Love action, dear internet. How do I write a check? Pay the 30 K or show everyone
the last thing you searched online. Can I do it? Cause he did it out and to do a dare. What is the last thing I searched online? Wow. Good porn. Good porn naked. That is good. The last thing I was searching
for was cakes at Gelson's some birthdays up my dad's birthday. that's not porn That's not porn at all. That's not boring at all. Alright. Five who gets the thing I do I get paid 70 and then I
lose tens or give me that 60. Wow. Got to get that. Boom. Boom. Come on. I got fired again. I am really bad at job. So five when someone can't
give a job taking the dare was taken. So yeah. Oh my God. Ooh. Ben birthday boy. No. Oh, that's four. That's right. Wow. three 90. Wow. Bros bought to win summit. Something bad needs to happen. Yes. I'm Beverly divorced. I don't have kids or a wife
and look at how it's working on life. Hack my way. Right? Wait you my choice. Have a baby at a peg to your car. Whoo. Wow. You just had a baby out enough. Well, Elizabeth Griff
came by just to talk. We have yet to get pegged. I don't know. Yeah. That's okay. Can I have 20 K please? Yes you can Action. Time. Thanksgiving dinner. You're way older than
grandpa's new girlfriend yet. You're the one at the kids' table. Grandpa sounds like a boss at the bank. that makes sense. Grandma
needs some money to impress. Imagine if the bank was
actually that involved in your personal life, like you need it all. I got a five. Where am I am over here. All right. So then I can choose to get
a spouse or to change my job. I'm going to change my
job. Give me a new job. I don't want to be a waiter anymore. Then I'm going to be a
podcast. Host Damien's gig. Whoo. Hey Dave. - An action card, coffee
addict, collect 10 K X, your spin and draw another card. Oh, person that I put the
current for the current spin. So I get 30 K and then I draw another. - That's very cool. - It means guys. Am I right? That's awesome. So funny. I meant to send a meme of your
boss to one of your coworkers where you hit reply, all pay the bank 20k with your track record of a
new job really well on the podcast though. So now it's just like, Oh, he's a waggy chain. Your turn. Good spin. That's what
the game's all about. I just go there. Action. Give me $50,000
spider in the bathroom. You had no choice. You had
to burn the house down. Return your house garden,
the deck shuffle the drug. Anyway, that actually makes sense. If I live in a tree house. - Hi wave. Bye. Would you be surprised if
it was a spider in your tree house? - You think they can't enter
your house without permission? Just like vampires. Can't
go into a tiny house. Tiny house, tiny house. Your four 60 deer posers. I feel like we just got
to try to kill shame. That's the game. Now? That is a two. That isn't two. I get $20,000. Nice one too. So I can get a new house. My new house will be a Ooh
friend's couch. Rent is 10 and then I got to spend and
then again, yeah, go for it. One. I will go here. Two kids. You and two kids. No, I have three kids now. Oh yeah. You have three kids and you
live on a friend's couch. There's enough cushions for all. It's a long couch. - So what did they call
the segment? Couch. Sectional. - Your friend comes out and
you and your kids have to be seated upright on the couch. Just asleep. Tell, draw, and action. I did not. Thomas Mann of all. Woo. Big weekend plans
get 20 K from the bank. So if you throw a party, you get $20,000. I mean that's how it works.
The government just, yeah. - I, we have, we shouldn't have very high
standards for the bank. Making sense. As, as I turned
the new thousand, please, one, two, three, four plus 50. - We have to find a way to kill
Shane before his next term. Is that how this works? The
game of life and birthday? Or just let me win at life. - Oh my God. - You ddnt kill God.You got 50000$ - Ooh. Bump into a friend. Say you'll hang out
soon. But you know both. You both know you, you won't
collect 10 K's with a bang. - No, that seems like a weird. - It's relatable. Maybe the money is just
the friends you made. - Kill shade. Six Oh five, six bar and only one of them red. That's a hundred K I'm only
going to get 90 though. You've been trolled, which is ironic. Cause they used to be my side hustle. Lose your side gig
until you get a new job. you got to end your turn with it though. Yeah. Who knows? Rent and a pay day. So rent is 30,000. Well let's draw. I collect all that stuff for
staff to end the turn with the money. Okay. Yeah. So pay your rent and payday 30,000. Now give me 30,000 now
we're done. Alright. End of transaction. No, you
get 30,000 more than that. You just balance yourself
out. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm I want you to win. I shouldn't I'm not even smart
enough to be a pet sitter. So as of now I'm at five 10, but this action card could ruin my life. Let's see God you've gotta
be kidding me. Empty inside. Just like your wallet.
Pay the bank. $40,000. Oh my God, bro. That really sucks. I don't have a birthday. No. Last champion game goes crazy for God. All right, Damien. Excuse me . $ 20,000 one two, three, four. So I'm now at four
nights. I need 90 please. 90?because I got a 70 K plus
the four that I just did. Shane. I think that might've done it. Try your action card. We don't know. Draw your action card.
Give him love him, man. Okay, well here's, here's
what we're dealing with. Jane it ready for a cool birthday gift. It says to pay the bank 30 K or, or your hypnotist until your next turn. And you do whatever the
player to your rights says. So it's like, what do you actually want
out of this situation? Shane? You can tell them you
want a million wishes. Just be like, give me all your money. I'm just going to, I can
pay the bank 30 cans. Still do it unless you really
want to give me a dare shame. No, no. Where did you win? One man. Yeah Damien woooon!! (cheer) That's really cool. Birthday miracle. Thank you guys. Don't forget. You guys can watch us live
playing board a half every Monday at three o'clock Pacific.
And if you miss it, don't worry because it's
going up on YouTube. Then next Sunday, it's going
up and use it the next Sunday. And if you guys want to
watch some old board apps, you can click on over. If you want to want something to YouTube, send directly to you
too. We got over here. We got to think about it, right? Yeah. And I promise Damien doesn't
ruin chambers in every one of the board apps. Just
this every single one. But do you remember, do you
remember connect for that? These pockets? Cause I did that too. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. How many guys there. (laughs)
