Got 'em. Welcome to Mythical Kitchen, where dreams become food that forgot to study for the calculus test and then they show up in their underwear and they go, "No, Mrs.
Jensen, I know the answers! "I swear!" A little Jimmy Stewart. "No, I know the answers, Mrs. Jensen! "I swear!" All right, so I got a bone to
pick with meatball sandwiches. Yes, that is how I'm choosing
to start out this episode. Meatball sandwiches, the flavor
is absolutely God to you. You get all that delicious
seasoned loose meat in there, but the problem is
they're structurally BS. You got these round balls
in a round hoagie roll. So when you go and bite in, the ball goes and spurts out of it. So my goal today is to
perfect the meatball sandwich by going where no meatballer
has ever gone before, to the shawarma spit. I'll be shaving these
balls in three easy steps. You can snag the time codes right there. We also got a full written
recipe down in the description. And hey, also, good news. We finally started a podcast
like a year and a half ago. Anyways, newest episode
just dropped yesterday. It's called A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. You can find it wherever
you get your podcasts. Go to subway, order a meatball sandwich. Go, "Hey, do you sell podcasts?" We are making the meatball mixture that we're gonna eventually
stack on the shawarma machine and sorta shave down these
stacked meet log balls. We're essentially making
a meatball mixture, but I'm gonna run it
through a food processor because gyros literally
refers to like gyro, like the rotation motion of
the shawarma machine spit. And the lamb and beef mixture
is almost this sort of like emulsified processed
sausage type of thing. That's why it holds so well
and you can shave it off. And I want to get that exact thing going but with all the flavors of meatballs. So we'll see, we'll see how this goes. So I'm gonna take some toasted breadcrumbs and I'm gonna add milk to it. I really like to hydrate my breadcrumbs before I add them into my meatballs. That way, I think you just get a really nice tender meatball. This will be very supple,
some nice subtle shaven balls. And then we're gonna add
some onion right to that, add in a whole lotta garlic,
because these are flavors that you associate with meatballs, right? Like onion, garlic, a
little bit of a oregano, a little bit of chili flake. I like a nice spicy meatball. We're gonna add in some salt in there, then we're gonna add in our herbs. We got parsley and basil. And then we're gonna run
this, yeah, just buzz it up. Might as well. Nah, I'm gonna put eggs in it first. The order in which you
do this is not important 'cause there's one goal in mind, one team, one dream, and that is to spite the
meatball sandwich's existence. I really do love meatball sandwiches, and I do love a nice big
old sloppy wet sandwich. No one makes a better, wetter, sloppier meatball sandwich than Pinocchio. Y'all know what I'm talking, y'all ever had the meatball
sandwich at Pinocchio? They don't toast the bread,
and it's the softest bread. And they take meatballs that are swimming in what I believe is marinara sauce that's been watered down
so it's just nice and wet. And then they put that in
the sandwich, and they put it like on top of a pile of
wet coleslaw they give you. It's great. But that said, structurally,
it never quite holds up. So we're gonna try and fix that. I wanna try and fix it. I wanna perfect this. You know multiverse theory, like how in some universes,
like people don't walk around but they're like sentient food processors? I feel like in multiverse
theory, meatballs aren't balls. They're meat cubes. Ah! All right, beautiful. So we got our like flavor paste slurry on, and then we're gonna
add all this meat to it. That's nice. I'm gonna add the meat gradually so as to not gum up the food processor. Did I do this right? You're trying to make
like a dense meat paste covered in flavor sauce. There we go. Now we can add the rest of our meat as those breadcrumbs sorta hydrate. Why do we blend so much meat on this show? We had to put a moratorium
on blending hot dogs. That was a real thing I
said in a Slack thread. So guys, moratorium on blending hot dogs. And now, here I am,
just blending more meat. Welcome to the Meat
Blender show hosted by me, your meat blender, Josh. God! Yeah, you want your food
processor to struggle against the tensile
strength of your raw meat. That's good. You want it to go . That sounds like a
clogged garbage disposal. Meat's done. I'm just gonna... I don't enjoy the
feeling of human contact, but if it's slopping around in raw meat, that's kinda more my comfort zone, which is weird because I do have a lot of like tactile sensitivities. Just this ain't one of them. We got a meat paste. See you next time. This is a technique used to
make Turkish ground meat doner. So what I'm going to do is I'm
gonna take some meat mixture. I'm gonna form it into a patty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like such. And then you pierce it through that and then get it down here
and then kinda form it. Then on top of that, I'm
gonna take a slice of cheese, kind of impale that right
down into the patty, and then we're gonna alternate this. And then these here hot coils are gonna cook it in a rotary fashion, caramelizing and browning
that beef on the outside whilst all that cheese fat
is melting through the beef. So then we're gonna shave
it off into a sub sandwich, and then that should be the
perfect meatball sandwich. I've run all the calculations. The key here is to not be
grossed out by touching raw meat and kinda mash it up there, and
then continue to shingle it. Ooh, this is a thick boy. Yup. Shingle on some meat. Spray yourself down. Guys, we gotta sanitize
the olive oil spray, just a little production note for us. What in here has not
been touched by raw meat if we're being honest? Trevor, oh, you've been
touched by raw meat. Remember when we high fived earlier? That's raw meat. Keep stacking. Typically, you... Typically. You don't typically do anything on this. I was gonna say something
about using the leaner meat 'cause you're gonna get a
lot of fat loss from this, but you know, this is uncharted territory. Who knows what's gonna happen? Hey, remind me not to eat the cheese 'cause I'm gonna wanna
snack on the cheese. You guys ever do that, doing raw prep and then you actually snack on something and then go, "Uh-oh." Just me, eh. That's okay. You know, we're learning. Eh, just keep stacking. There we go. We kinda blew a lot of budget buying this $300 shawarma machine, so a sign up for Only Hams. You know, we really need it there. It's just a picture of
me half naked with ham. So what I'm gonna do is
I'm gonna use my hands to sculpt all this meat up. And lube up your hands and
use that to sculpt the beef, like Patrick Swayze in Ghost, or Patrick Swayze in Point Break. Any Patrick Swayze role that
you think would help you in this situation, I think
you should probably do it. Hey, the shape of it. Oh, yeah. I don't see what you all are seeing. Keep going. I'm just, look, I'm out here cooking. You're all out here
with the gutter brains. I think it looks pretty good. You guys think it looks pretty good? What were you expecting? This is it. This is the show. This is the whole thing. It's why I bought a $300 machine. It's to make this. What, you're not impressed? I'm impressed. You can kind of sculpt up
the shaft a little bit. And then you're gonna
take a little claw machine and you're gonna kind of, yeah, oh, that's gonna help. And then now, this is hot. I'm going to shove it. I'm slipping because the beef fat. Yeah, you just got to kinda, it's a simple technique. You just gotta sort of
loop it in and hook it. Kinda going, ow, ow. Hold on. I think this is the way to go. Ow, it's all hot. Yeah, and then I think you can like... Ow, ow! Hot. And is it in? Is it in yet? Can you tell? Ow! That is shawarma-ing my hand. Ow! I mean, really, in one simple step, you have meatball shawarma in three hours. Welcome back to Mythical Kitchen, one of the cooking shows of YouTube. I think that's a good one. We're making kind of like a
bit of a spicy marinara here. Some would call it an arrabbiata sauce. You can jar your butter
loose a little bit. You can start with some
butter in that pot. It's actually a thing that I really love. I love tomato-based sauces, and I love kinda playing with them. That was one of the first things I did when I started cooking as a kid is I'd just take like jarred sauce and then I just sorta
like add my own things, mostly Tony Chacher's, not gonna BS you. And that it kinda makes it, you know, your own little recipe. I also got red bell peppers. You're gonna get some of the like sweet bell pepperiness, I guess, is what you get from bell peppers. And just give it one
more nice little chop. I'm just gonna add these
peppers to the butter in the pot and just let those sorta swim in there. We wanna toast up all of our aromatics before we add our tomatoes. I always like to cut peppers flush side up because otherwise, the
knife can have a hard time getting through the skin there, and then it always goes through the flesh. Look at that, another helpful cooking tip. Hey, do you wanna know what we want to know is helpful from you? That's fantastic. Please fill out the mythical census. We're asking our audience, all the Mythical Beasts out there what you wanna see from us, what you think we've been doing good, what we can do better. This is how we know how to serve you. You're like, "Well, we hate seeing Josh "chop red bell peppers." I'm gonna go, "Too bad,
'cause we're doing it!" But that is the power that
the Mythical Census gives you. It's all bell pepper-related questions. It's not. It's actually really useful for us. Please fill it out. We got a link in the description. Now we got, it's like a tiny bell pepper but it is made of green, and it's spicy. I'm gonna chop a little jalapeno. I like adding jalapeno
to tomato-based sauces. It kinda puts you in salsa
territory a little bit. I like spice in my meatballs a whole lot because you get all that
fattiness from the beef, and a little bit of
creaminess from the cheese, and you get all that
spice just undercut it. Cookdown. Jalapeno's chopped. I almost had an aneurysm there. One more chop away from
just pooping myself. All right, now you can take these little green hairies
right here, shave off the tips, and then just run your
knife through these. This is kinda like the mother of invention in cooking, right? You like notice a formula in a dish. Marinara sauce is like garlic, onion, other things, tomatoes. Take the onion, take the garlic, substitute those for other things. That's how you learn how to
make new dishes, you know. Yup! Toss that in. And as that is just at a rolling hot sear, we're gonna take a little pinch of sugar. Sugar is great. It just balances out the acid
of tomatoes a little bit. And then a little bit of
salt, a little bit of garlic. Garlic is a lovely
baseline for everything. And then here we got harissa. Harissa is a actually Tunisian spice paste that's made with peppers and
then a little bit of caraway. Mmm. It gives this lovely
sort of nutty bitterness. I'm just gonna pop that in. That's totally optional though. You don't have to do that,
assuming you already bought the $300 shawarma machine from Amazon. We're gonna dump all these
tomatoes into the thing, and then we're just gonna let this simmer. We're gonna let this simmer for, you know, about 40 minutes on low. It's gonna really cook
all those veg in there, and then you're also gonna tighten up those crushed tomatoes a little bit. This is any normal can
of crushed tomatoes. I always have it in my cabinet. Sometimes you just need
a nice little smoothie. Dump that with some frozen
banana in a Vitamix, boom. Bingo, bingo, we got
some creatine in there and that's called lunch, baby. I think I have heat stroke. Holy crap, we did it! Not that I was doubting myself during any point in this
process, but like at some point, when I saw how much the cheese
was oozing out and weeping, I got a little scared. I don't wanna say this is beautiful, because that wouldn't be the right term. Am I impressed by this? I certainly am. I'm gonna grab this little
cheese beef fat dripping. All the cheese that is
melted through the beef. First, we spent so much
money on this machine that we didn't wanna buy
a legit shawarma shaver because that was 200 bucks, so we got an $18 electric knife instead. Come here, you beef log! All right, so the goal
here, like with gyros, is shave as thin as possible. So we're gonna try and get like thin little flavor strips off this. Hold on, hold on. Let's just examine this real fast. So here we have all the
best parts of the meatball. This is like the meatball bark here. It's in thin sheets so I'm gonna be able
fit it in the sandwich. I'm excited about this. I'm gonna keep shaving off. Look at that. Now we just gotta turn it. It's like a meaty-go-round. Yeah, get some of that nice cheese bark. Ah, fudge! All right, we got all
our lovely and photogenic meatball shawarma here. Now, what we have to do is
start constructing the sandwich. Take a nice seeded hoagie roll. And I'm gonna put a little, I'm gonna shmear a
little ricotta on there. I really love ricotta and meatballs. It's one of my favorite combinations. All right, and then I'm gonna lay down a hefty base of sauce on the other side. So the ricotta and sauce
should not meet yet, but they soon will be acquainted
as in a rom-com meet-cute whereby sauce and ricotta
meet like on a park bench and one's reading like Infinite Jest. It's like, "Oh my god,
what are you reading?" She'll be like, "He's so pretentious." Then she's gonna be like, "Oh,
I changed myself for you." All right, we got that down there now. Now, I think I'm just gonna kind of claw all the shawarma meat in there. Yeah, yeah, here we go. That's what I'm talking about. There's no rules to how to construct a meatball shawarma sandwich,
because to my knowledge, this has never been done. I'm gonna get some of that
caramelized matz down there. This is just, this is
like the bark on barbecue. This is cheese bark. It is good, baby. Oh, that's real good. That's looking pretty bomb.com. Take a little bit more
sauce, just go over the top. Lovely. And then I'm gonna take some cheese and I'm gonna rip it in half and I'm gonna kinda just tuck it. I'm gonna tuck some cheese in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'll pop this in the oven at 500 degrees for just like four or five minutes, just to melt that cheese and
get it all nice and copacetic. More cheese bark. Holy shnikies. Here, this is it. It was in the oven, but now it's out, and we have melted cheese on it. It looks really great. It's immediately like holding together better than a meatball sandwich. If that was meatballs, it'd be all jostling
around and going whoa! Let's cut it in half. Oh, oh, trick for a sandwich. You take the knife, you tuck everything, then you get it folded on
itself, then you slice it. Let's look at this here. Yeah, okay. So, well, what I've noticed,
all the shawarma pieces sort of re-congealed into a meatball. But that said, we got a
lot of extra caramelization from all that on the spit. Let's give it a try. Got 'em. Remember the start of this
video where I was like, "Meatball sandwiches suck." I think I just like meatball sandwiches, and this whole thing was just
an exercise in, I don't know, a gustatory masturbation
because, I mean, this is just, this is a meatball sandwich,
and it's pretty nice. But maybe there's a life
lesson to be learned here that Trevor can tell you about. Trevor. Did I hear something about masturbation? Yes! Trevor, take a bite of that with the spork that you're holding like you're gonna bludgeon me with it. There it is! Wait, let me get your drippings, your drippings on my sandwich. Wait, no, Trevor, try this. Remember that sauce we made? Dunk the whole thing. Now you gotta slurp it. You got your French dip. This is a ball dip. Use this as a napkin. What's up? Do you enjoy this? Yeah. Me too, man. I think we've all
learned a lot here today. Amazon, great prices on
shawarma machines right now. They run at about $300. You can afford not to get one good. You know, you can like make
a car payment or something, contribute to a Roth IRA, or buy a shawarma machine for home. Anyway, thanks for stopping by. It's a pretty good sandwich. New episodes out every
week on the channel here that, you know, Trevor's about. We got a podcast every
Wednesday, Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Eat that up. Mythical Kitchen on Instagram. That's under hashtag #dreamsbecomefood. And go get yourself a meatball sandwich. It turns out it was pretty fine as is if we're being honest, we're
being dead honest with you. It's a pretty good food. You gotta eat it goblin stance though. Goblin stance. Got none of that reference the whole time. What is that, Minecraft? No. There are goblins in Minecraft? It's called being a moron. You can cook up your own feast while wearing the Mythical Kitchen apron available now at mythical.com.
Josh needs his own podcast called “Welcome to the Terror-dome” with just him speaking his mind for 90 minutes