Unforgettable Leonard Moments (Season 1) | The Big Bang Theory

event a a beautiful woman stands naked in our shower event B we drive halfway across town to retrieve a television set from the aforementioned woman's ex-boyfriend query on what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link between these events she asked me to do her a favor Sheldon ah yes well that may be the proximal cause of our journey but we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher level distal cause which is you think with your penis that's a biological impossib ility and you didn't have to come oh right yes I could have stay behind to watch walowitz try to hit on Penny and Russian Arabic and farsy why can't she get her own TV there's some kind of dispute between Penny and her ex-boyfriend as to who gets custody of the TV she just wanted to avoid having a scene with him so we get to have a scene with him no Sheldon there's not going to be a scene I'll do the talking yeah uh hi I'm Leonard this is Sheldon hello what did I just uh we're here to pick up Penny's TV get lost okay thanks for your time we're not going to give up just like that L the TV is in the building we've been denied access to the building Argo we are done come on we have a combined IQ of 360 we should be able to figure out how to get into a stupid building what do you think their combined IQ is grab the door this is it I'll do the talking good thinking I'll just be the muscle yeah I'm Leonard this is Sheldon from the intercom how the hell did you get in the building uh we're scientists tell them about R IQ lard what my mom bought me those pants I'm sorry no oh hey Leonard good afternoon penny so hi hey uh I was wondering if you had plans for dinner uh you mean dinner tonight I was thinking 6:30 if you can go or a different time uh 6:30 great really great yeah I like hanging out with you guys us guys you know Sheldon Howard Raj who El is coming they might all be there or a subset of them might be there algebraically speaking there are too many unknowns okay whatever it sounds like fun great did we say a time 6:30 and that's still good for you it's fine cuz it's not carved in stone no 6:30 is great I'll get my chisel why to carve the okay I'll see you 6:30 the rest of the guys meeting us here oh yeah no it turns out the Raj and Howard had to work and Sheldon had a colonoscopy and he hasn't quite bounced back yet my uncle just had a colonoscopy you're kidding well then that's something we have in common how we both have people in our Lives who want to nip intestinal Pops in the butt so what's new in the world of physics nothing really nothing well with the exception of string theory not much has happened since the 1930s and you can't prove string theory you can say hey look my idea has an internal logical consistency hey do you want to see something cool I can make this olive go into this glass without touching it how physics wow centrifugal force actually it's centripetal force which is an inward Force generated by the glass acting on the olive excuse me now if you were riding on the olive you'd be in a non-inertial reference frame and would are you okay yeah I'm okay did you spill ketchup no I'm not okay Sheldon why is this letter in the trash well there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter but razor would suggest that someone threw it out it's from The Institute for experimental physics they want us to present our paper on the properties of super solids at the topical conference on Bose Einstein condensates I know I read it before I threw it out okay if I may drill down to the Bedrock of my question why did you throw it out because I have no interest in standing in the Rose Room of the Pasadena Marriott in front of a group of judgmental strangers who wouldn't recognize true genius if it were standing in front of them giving a speech which if I were there it would be I don't know Sheldon those topical conference on Bose Einstein condensates parties are legendary forget the parties forget the parties what a nerd are there any other honors I've gotten that I don't know about did UPS drop off a Nobel Prize with my name on it Leonard please don't take this the wrong way but the day you win a Nobel Prize is the day I began my research on the drag coefficient of Tassels on flying carpets the only thing Miss from that insult was your mama I got one hey Leonard your mama's research methodology is so flawed shut up Howard Sheldon we have to do this no we don't we have to take in nourishment expel waste and inhale enough oxygen to keep our cell from dying everything else is optional okay let me put it this way I'm doing it you can't I'm the lead author come on the only reason you're the lead author is because we went alphabetically I let you think we went alphabetically to spare you the humiliation of dealing with the fact that it was my idea not to put too fine a point on it but I was throwing you a bone you're welcome excuse me I designed the experiment to prove the hypothesis it doesn't need proving what so the entire scientific Community is just supposed to take your word they're not supposed to but they should all right I don't care what you say I'm going to the conference and I'm presenting our findings and I forbid it you forbid it if I'm not taking credit for our work then nobody is so you admit that it's our work no once again I'm throwing you a bone and once again you are welcome oh no he didn't are there any questions yeah what the hell was that any other questions Dr Sheldon Cooper Here I Am the lead author of this particular paper thank you and you sir you have completely skipped over the part where I was walking through the park and I saw these children on a marry go around what started me thinking about the moment of inertia in gases like helium at temperatures approaching absolute zero I didn't skip it it's just an anecdote it's not science oh oh I see it was the Apple falling on Newton's head was that just an anecdote you are not Isaac Newton no no that's true gravity would have been apparent to me without the Apple you cannot possibly be that arrogant you continue to underestimate me my good man look if you weren't happy with my presentation then maybe you should have given it with me as I explained repeatedly unlike you I don't need validation from lesser Minds no offense really so why did you come because I knew you'd screwed this up maybe I didn't go to college when I was 11 like you maybe I got my doctorate at 24 instead of 16 but you are not the only person who was smarter than everyone else in this room no offense and and I am clearly not the only person who is tormented by insecurity and has an ego in need of constant validation so you admit you're an egotist yes my name is Dr Leonard hoffstead and I could never please my parents so I need to get all my self-esteem from strangers like you but he's worse okay that is it stop it you cannot blow up my head with your mind then I'll set over an aneurysm stop it you hit me you saw that he hit me trying to blow up my head so it was working it wasn't it was not you are a nutcase oh see about that heads up you people in the front row this is a Splash Zone stop it quit it is this usually how these physics things go more often than you think go tonight I have to go tonight what the hell is that I don't know but if cats could sing they'd hate it too my night I we take my hey guys hi where are you going what we just had to mail some letters and throw away some chicken you'll never guess what just happened oh I I give up I don't guess as a scientist I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation although as I'm saying this it occurs to me you may have been employing a rhetorical device rendering my response moot what was that believe it or not personal growth what happened all right remember when I auditioned for that Workshop production of rent but I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why I have a conclusion based on an observation no you don't no he doesn't well the girl they picked to play Mimi she dropped out and they asked me to replace her oh congratulations what a lucky break it's not a big deal just a one night showcase but they invite a lot of casting people and agents so you never know I think I know no you don't he doesn't it's this Friday at 8 you guys want to come no because uh Friday we are attending a symposium on molecular patronum I think that's a week from Tuesday at 6 no it's this Friday at 8 oh too bad well I got to get to rehearsal see you guys see you let's go tonight you just lied to Penny yes I did and you did it so casually no rapid breathing no increase in perspiration so so lack of a physiological response while lying is characteristic of a violent sociopath Sheldon are you worried about your safety no I imagine if you were going to kill me you'd have done it a long time ago that's very true what do you see what do you see I can't the living room appears to be empty okay he must be in his bedroom my spare glasses are in my bedroom on my dresser next to my bat signal I'm not going in there Raj no way Jose well I can't do it I can't see anything it's all right Wireless mini cam and Bluetooth headset will be your eyes fine one more thing this is a subsonic impact sensor if Sheldon gets out of bed and starts to walk this device will register it and send the signal to the laptop at that point based on the geography of the apartment and the ambulatory speed of a six Sheldon you'll have 7 Seconds to get out glasses or no glasses won't my footsteps set it off no you'll be on your hands and knees now you'll need to get the sensor as close as you can to Sheldon's room but how do I carry it if I'm on my hands and knees stay low bear left now keep true what it means go straight I just say go straight don't say go straight when you're giving bearings you say keep true all right I just hit my head because he didn't keep true okay turn right the the the picture's breaking up angle your head to the right a little more a little more that's it now just keep true all right you're close enough to Sheldon's room deploy the sensor now turn it on it wasn't on no then why did I have to crawl oh I guess you didn't okay it's on good from this point forward you will have to crawl I know hang on the sensor's picking up something turn your head back you rat bastard told you the sensor would work why you deliberately stuck me with Sheldon come on I had to you see what he's like Betty Betty I'm hungry uh it's okay sweetie good news Letter's home no here you go good luck bye wait wait leard I'm hungry wait Penny take me with you I want grilled cheese some guy is auctioning off of miniature time machine prop from the original film and no one is bidding on it a time machine from the movie The Time Machine no a time machine from Sophie's Choice boy Sophie could have used a time machine in that movie did you see it it's rough oh that's cool it's only $800 yeah and that's my bid you bid $800 it was a Spur the- moment thing I figured it would go for thousands and I just wanted to be a part of it there's only 30 seconds left in the auction do you have 8 $100 not to blow on a miniature time machine well don't worry the way these things work is people wait until the last second to bid and then they swoop in and get it it's called sniping 15 seconds come on snipers 10 98 where are your snipers five snipe four snipe three snipe two snipe one oh congratulations you are the proud owner of a miniature time machine you lucky duck I wonder why no one else bid this is a classic piece of sci-fi movie memorabilia yeah I know I understand why no one else bid I don't know what you are worried about I think it really works in the room yeah it is by far the coolest thing I have ever owned the exact time machine that carried actor Rod Taylor from Victorian England into the post-apocalyptic future where Society had splintered into two factions the Subterranean morlocks who survived by feasting on the Flesh of the gentle surface dwelling Eloy talk about your chick magnets oh yeah the guy who lives next to me is always like I have a Jacuzzi on my balcony I have a Jacuzzi on my balcony but wait until I tell him I've got a time machine on my balcony stuff that in your Speedos jacuzzi Bob gentlemen I know we said we'd take turns but I think you'll agree that practicality dictates it remain here you can't just keep it here what if I meet a girl and say you want to come up and see my time machine it's at my friend's house how lame as that he's got a point all right I think we're going to need some ground rules in addition to the expected no shoes in The Time Machine and no eating in the time machine I propose that we add pants must be worn at all times in the time machine seconded was going to put down a towel I still want it on my balcony I say we move it on a bimonthly basis yeah that sounds fair now hold on bimonthly is an ambiguous term do you mean move it every other month or twice a month twice a month then no okay every other month no Sheldon you can't be selfish we all paid for it so it belongs to all of us now get out of the way so I can sit in my time machine okay I am setting the dials for March 10th 1876 good choice Alexander granbell invents the telephone and calls out for Dr Watson wait a minute I'd want to see that too so when it's your turn you can but if we all go back to the same point in time Belle's lab's going to get very crowded he'll know something's up also since the time machine doesn't move in space you end up in 18 76 Pasadena and even if he can make it to Boston what are you going to do knock on the door and say to Mrs Bell hey Mrs Bell big fan of your husband can I come in and watch him invent the telephone Mrs Bell was deaf she's not even going to hear you knock I have a solution first go into the future and obtain a cloaking device o how far into the future if I remember correctly Captain Kirk will steal a cloaking device from the romulans on stard date 50273 which would be January 10th 2328 by pre-federation Reckoning oh okay I am setting the dials for January 10th 2328 here we go into the future that was fun Leonard you left your underwear in the dryer downstairs those are not mine really they have your little name label in them yeah no I do I I use those uh just to polish up my spear fishing equipment I spear fish when I'm not crossbow hunting uh Penny this is Sheldon's twin sister Missy Missy this is our neighbor Penny hi wow you don't look that much alike can I get a Hallelujah fraternal twins come from two separate eggs they are no more alike than any other siblings Hallelujah hey guess what I've been accepted as a test subject for a new miracle drug to overcome pathological shyness oh good for you you Raj yes I'm very hopeful hello Missy they mentioned there may be side effects I am Shiva the Destroyer I will have the woman I'm warning you I was Judo champion at bath Camp all right now that's enough juvenile M squabbling you stop it you stop it I say I'm going to settle this right now neither of you are good enough for my sister who are you to decide that he's the man of his family you have to respect his wishes you're out too by the way say what it's nothing personal I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent every time they ate an esimo pie what are you so happy about out I'm not happy it's the medication I can't stop smiling ow take that you want some more and he's [Applause] down come on come on get up stay down yeah natural selection at work I weep for Humanity Excuse me while I go tell Missy the good news hey Leonard oh hi Penny how's it going listen that guy Mike that you were dating is that still going on uh pretty much why nothing just catching up by the way may I speak to Missy please of course hi Leonard what's up well since you're leaving tomorrow I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me that's so sweet but no thanks oh do you have other plans or no oh all right uh enjoy the rest of your evening thanks see you think we going to see you Saturday uh I don't think so why not I don't celebrate my birthday shut up yeah you do well it's no big deal it's just the way I was raised my parents focused on celebrating a a Ms and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them that's so silly it's actually based on very sound theories his mother published a paper on it well what was it called I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake it was obviously effective Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist perhaps if she'd also denied him Christmas he'd be a little better at it thank you well I love birthdays waking up to Mom's special French toast breakfast wearing the birthday king crown playing laser tag with all my friends yeah see that's what kids should have actually that was last year so you really never had a birthday party no but it was okay I mean when I was little I'd think maybe my parents would change their mind and surprise me with a party like this one birthday I came home for My Cello lesson and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front when I got to the door I could hear people whispering and I could smell German chocolate cake Which is my favorite and uh it turns out my grandfather had died oh my God that's terrible well it was kind of like a birthday party I got to see all my cousins and there was cake so that's the saddest thing I've ever heard you think go ahead tell her about your senior prom I'm back I'm sorry I yelled at you it's not your fault what happened well I went over to Mike's to make up with him yeah no I know that part but he had already moved on already that was quick that's what I said to the woman who had her legs wrapped around his neck oh Penny I am so sorry how could he do that no you know you did throw an 80 gig iPod yeah no how could he do that I swear to God I am done with guys like that you know Macho with the perfect body and the hair and the money yeah that must get old quick you know just once I would like to go out with someone who is nice and honest and who actually cares about me what about me what about you what what about if you went out with me are you asking me out um yes I am asking you out wow I was just going off your comment about the nice guy no I know honest yeah totally so but it's no big deal yes yes what yes I will go out with you really yeah why not I mean what do I have to lose yeah that's the spirit [Music]

Channel: Big Bang Theory

Views: 145,211

Keywords: Comedy, TV, Funny, The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon, Penny, Leonard, Laughing, Warner Bros.

Id: Kd63X4hYxbk

Length: 26min 52sec (1612 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 25 2024