The Ones When They're at Central Perk | Friends

hi this guy says hello I want to kill myself are you okay sweetie I just feel like someone reached down my throat grabbed my small intestine pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck cookie Carol moved her stuff out today let me get you some coffee thanks no oh no no don't stop stop cleansing my aura don't just leave my aura alone okay I'll be fine all right really everyone I hope she'll be very happy no you don't no I don't to hell with her she left me and you never knew she was a lesbian no okay why does everyone keep fixating on that she didn't know how should I know sometimes I wish I was a lesbian did I say that out loud all right Ross look you're feeling a lot of pain right now you're angry you're hurting can I tell you what the answer is strip joints come on you're single have some hormones see but I don't want to be single okay I just I just I just want to be married again and I just want a million dollars how you doing with the shining oh Danny just went into Room 217 ooh the next part's the best when that dead lady in the bathtub oh come on you're going to ruin it all right I'll talk in code remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway yeah that's very cool all blank and no blank makes blank a blank blank oh no no no the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank but then in the last second they get away Joey I can't believe you just did that I can't believe she cracked your [Applause] code all right okay Lori proposes to Joe and she says no even though she's still in love with him and then he ends up marrying Amy hey mine was by accident all right the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel and kills the dad Beth [Applause] died Beth dies is that true if I keep reading is Beth going to die die no Beth doesn't die she doesn't die does she Rachel what Joey's asking if you've just ruined the first book he's ever loved that didn't start Jack Nicholson hey guys hey so what do you think about what what yeah what are you kidding okay I'll give you a hint I'll give you a hint eyes no no you're eyes no Chandler's eyes I got glasses you always had glasses no I didn't are you sure yeah did didn't you used to have a pair they were really round and burgundy and they made you look kind of um feminine yes no sweetie I think the glasses look great they make you look really sexy really yeah and you didn't think I used to wear glasses right of course okay okay here's a good one of us wow that is a good one wow looks like a like a holiday card you know with the tree in the middle and the the skaters and the snow you know every year I say I'm going to send out holiday cards and I never do it do you want to do you want to send this one out together together like to to people yeah you know happy holidays for Mona and Ross it'll be cute okay okay oh I got to get to work so call me later oh sure sure bye guys bye congratulations you just got married I no can you believe that wait I'm I'm sorry what's the big deal about a holiday card married couples send out cards families send out cards people who've been dating for a couple of months do not send out card what what is she crazy hey hey hey hey hey that's your wife you're talking about what I'm going to do about this coat I'll take it that might work oh yeah all right what do you think you're on in five Miss Manelli no no no it's it's just a bit sudden no it's great okay I am totally on board I love you too all right bye what's the matter Ross nothing no oh uh actually great news um just got off the phone with Emily and looks like I'm moving to a new apartment [Music] woohoo why well her thought is and I agree fresh new furniture why not a fresh new apartment her cousin has this great place to sublet it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other that's way up town that's like three trains away which is great I love to ride that rail all right check out this bad boy 12 megabytes of ram 500 megabyte hard drive built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS wow what are you going to use it for games and stuff there are no jobs there are no jobs for me oh wait here's one uh would you be willing to cook naked there's an ad for a Naked Chef no but if you're willing to cook naked then you might be willing to dance naked hi hey hey oh so um how'd you make out last night that that is funny that is painfully funny no wait wait yeah that's just painful wait a minute I thought last night was was great yeah it was but I get home okay and I see Julie sailing Solution on my night table and I'm thinking to myself oh my God what the hell am I doing I mean here I am I'm with Julie this incredible great woman who I care about and and who cares about me and I'm like what am I just going to throw all that away you got all that from saline solution wait minut we're talking about Rachel here you and Rachel believe me I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for like 10 years years now but now I'm with Julie you know so it's like me and Julie me and Rachel me and Julie me and ra Rachel Rachel hey you how are you good how are you good good hi Honey hi Julie hi Julie Julie um how are you good good so everybody's here everybody's good so were you going to play something Phoebe well actually had to all right hey Julie I didn't know you wore lenses what okay um hi hello hi okay so um this is a song um about a love triangle between three people that I made up um it's called um two of them kissed last night there was a girl we'll call her Betty and a guy let's call him Neil now I can't stress this point too strongly this story isn't real now o Neal must decide who will be the girl that he casts aside well will Betty be the one who he loves truly or will it be the one who will call [Music] LLY he must decide he must decide even though I made him up he must decide cake is amazing my god get a room I would get a room with this cake I think I could show this cake a good time if you had to what would you give up food or sex sex seriously answer faster oh I'm sorry honey know when she said sex I wasn't thinking about sex with you it's like a giant hug Ross how about you which would you give up sex or food food okay how about um sex or dinosaurs oh my God it's like Sophie's Choice oh God what about you Joe what would you give up sex or food uh uh I don't know it's too hard no you got to pick one uh food no sex food sex food SE I don't know oh God I want both I want I want girls on [Music] bread hey who's this little naked guy uh that little naked guy would be me look at the little thing yes yeah it's fine that is my penis can we be grown-ups now who are those people got me oh that's Nana right there in the middle wow yeah let's see me and the Gang at Java Joe's wow Monica you look just like your grandmother how old was she there 1939 yeah uh 24 25 huh it's like a fun gang o look look look look look I got Monica naked no no that would be me again I'm uh just trying something t fatty hey Chandler why so fancy well I got a job interview it's kind of a big deal too it's a lot more money and I'd be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring wait I think I know someone who does that me I do that so seriously do I do I look okay I'm a little nervous oh yeah you really you look great you know just don't get your hes up why not well the interview what about it you know you don't make a a very good first impression what oh you don't know are you serious yes I when I first met you you were like blah I was like what is it that I do well it's just like you're trying too hard always making jokes you know you just you come off a little needy did you like me when we first met Chandler I'm not going to lie but I am going to run away from you oh this is so good you have got to try it oh damn I got it on my pants here I'll get it we better take off upstairs where that stain's going to set yep I want to wear these pants on our dat tonight oh great okay bye oh my God that was unbelievable okay see I told you yeah wow sorry r i don't believe the brother and sister they're brother and sister you guys think our readers ought to know uh no just just that he is a great guy yeah that's going to get you into soap parti just well I I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the Days of Our Lives um I I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet oh I like that oh what's your name um Phoebe buet how do you spell that so we can get it right oh okay it's um p as in Phoebe H as in heebe O as in OB e as in eie b as in BB and e as an lell there mate what is that oh um I'm just getting rid of a couple of things this is all of your things yes yes it is no but it's good so Emily thinks we should get all new stuff stuff that's just ours together you know brand new so basically this is a getting rid of anything Rachel ever touch sale touched used sat on slept on I'll take it all hey cross you're okay with that look if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York I'm sure everything will be fine okay but don't you think this a little extreme after what I did can you blame her oh my God you got off easy when my friend sylv's husband said someone else's name in bed she cursed him and turned his thingy green hi guys hey b hey oh oh how' It Go um not so good he walked me to the subway and said we should do this again oh what you said we should do it again that's good right uh no Loosely translated we should do this again means you will never see me naked since when since always it's like dating language you know like it's not you means it is you or you're such a nice guy means I'm going to be dating leather wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you or or you know um I think we should see other people means I already am and everybody knows this oh yeah cushions the blow yeah it's like when you're a kid and your parents put your dog to sleep and they tell you it went off to live on some Farm that's funny that no because uh our parents actually did uh send our dog off to live on a farm uh Ross what hello The Milner Farm in Connecticut The Milner they had this unbelievable farm that they horses and then rabbits that he could Chase and it would oh my God cheat Monica hey can I go on the Porsche okay all right but uh what is it not a place to entertain my lady friends and what else is it not place to eat spaghetti very good thanks what do you need it for anyway oh the uh Powerball lottery is up to 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York so oh so you're driving up to Connecticut yeah Connecticut not West Virginia hey maybe I'll drive you up there I'd like to buy some tickets myself yeah with Chandler not getting paid we could really use $300 million yes because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million no thank you hey will you get me tickets too yeah me too sure oh I have an idea why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks we'll pull our money together and then if we win we'll split it a no thanks you don't want to win the lottery uh sure I do I also want to be king of my own country and find out what happened to ailia airheart still on ailia aart the woman just vanished seriously Ross you don't want in on this no do do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightting seven times I like those odds seriously you guys I can't believe you're going to spend $250 on the lottery I mean it's such a bunch of booh hockey I'll ask Bo hockey oh oh we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of them yeah so get ready to hear a lot of uh booh hockey gosh darn it and brother pucker how do you know she's going to start talking well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying kind of like Joey what's that now oh where is he where's Richard did you ditch him yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie what's the matter with you he's parking the car how did you guys have fun your boyfriend is so cool really yeah he let us drive his Jaguar Joey for 12 blocks me for 15 wow he must like you the best oh and what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats he never even saw the money it was like this hey chanler thanks for showing us to our seats you're welcome hey joeey thanks for parking the car no problem hey janler I think they get it okay there's the man hey hey you're getting better I'm going to keep this by the way he kept my dollar yeah this is Patrick oh hi hi yeah this is the guy I was telling you about yeah yeah and believe me this suit does not do justice to what's underneath it okay but be I kind I'm just sort of in the middle of something oh okay yeah that's okay have a seat you can't do that maybe I should go they just sit down we're winning okay you know what maybe I should go have a seat you have a seat Rachel Rachel you haven't touched ot's hair it's the softest hair touch it I'm good Rachel Patrick is really rich give her some money you know what Phoebe this isn't really worth the free massage that's right Patrick bye-bye no El is much more cooperative and he can dance you dance her Rachel no don't answer for me please don't what's the matter with you guys yeah okay let's talk it out I am I the only one that this is embarrassing for I'm a little embarrassed I'll tell you who should be embarrassed it's you guys come on this is ridiculous thank you very much but I do not need you to give me a date then why did she ask us to I am still talking and then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked I mean no offense to you guys really I mean congratulations on all the cash and and you know you really well you do have very soft hair but I would much rather go to the ball all by myself then go through any more of this goodbye now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair yes papaya extract thank you hi you guys hi hey what's the matter well it's just it's one of these situations that I just hate you know a massage client gave me three ticket tickets to the helmet pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase Museum now you're thinking you got to sleep with them no no it's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us I'll give up my ticket me too okay that's so generous and I think Ross is generous too great okay then it's just us girls yeah so what what is the exhibit it's mostly just photographs of um lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches oh man hey hi there he hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian Sandwich Museum this weekend hey how'd the interview go it's not good you know I always feel that way after an interview I'll bet it went better than you think well I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren that is a bad interview what are you what are you talking about how' this happened well my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything so later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's going to have to let me go because I'm not a team player and I say wait a minute no yes I am and then I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact was true oh God I'm so sorry hey what what's this it's it's a bottle of champagne why is this here Ross I guess it's here because I got tenure congratul congratulations this is the single greatest day of my professional career Gunther six glasses six you want me to join you oh I thought Joey was here five is good I'm going to have a lugie in my coffee tomorrow ooh Israeli champagne and it's vanilla I got tenure I didn't win the lottery hey Rich so uh how did your thing go oh it's good yeah but I'm not going to hear about that for a couple of days oh you know what you're going to get it I I I I can feel it can you everybody here's to Ross and and to years of hard work finally paying off and to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything but also knowing it means a lot but more importantly to full well-rounded life that center around work to ro you know what the best part about this is I can never be fired go no seriously I have job security for life you know I mean I never have to worry oh oh look at you look how happy you are for me no it's not that I got fired today and I didn't get the other job ra I'm so sorry oh great I feel like an idiot no it's okay you didn't know oh little heads up would have been nice to the store sat on Santa's lap asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap said all you need is to write them a song they haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along no don't sing along Monica Monica have a happy [Music] Hanukkah saw Santa Claus he said hello to Ross and please tell Joey Christmas will be snowing and Rael and Chandler [Music] how happy holidays everybody would you let it go it's not that big a deal not that big a deal it's amazing okay you just reach in there there's one little maneuver and Bam a bra right out the sleeve all right as far as I'm concerned there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close am I right here oh come on you guys can pee standing up we can okay I'm trying that all right you know what blows my mind women can see breasts anytime they want you just look down and there they are how you get any work done is beyond me okay you know what I don't get the way guys can do so many mean things and then not even care multiple orgasms there you go Janice you called Janice yes Janice why is that so difficult for you to comprehend you remember Janice right yes she was smart she was pretty and she honestly cared about me jice is my last chance to have somebody hello oh my God jeez look how fat she got hey it's [Music] everybody Janice you're yes I am is it is it yours ha You Wish Chandler Bing you are looking at a married lady now oh congratulations oh sweetie I'm sorry you couldn't have told me about this over the phone and what miss the expression on your face oh no Janice likes to have her fun check it out check this out it says here there's a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums it's almost as good as being there it's better you can't go to a museum and you're underwear well you could but probably just the one time I bet we could get videos of all the sites get a VCR in a hotel room we'd never even have to go outside if we do that we've got to rent die hard I bet the British version is good hey hey oh the how is Vermont Emily is incredible I mean there there are no words to describe her the whole weekend was was like a dream oh and you ra hey hey you were so right what uh what you said about us finally being in a place where we could really be happy for each other I mean I I I admit I I wasn't quite there you know I mean the thought of you and that that Josh guy Joshua Joshua guy at that club dancing having a good time and the thought of it kind of you know yeah but now but now I'm totally there I'm I'm finally where you are oh thank goodness and thank you for Emily oh no problem I'm so glad I could help you know happy for you happy for you oh no happy for decided to have a Halloween party and everybody has to wear costumes come on it'll be fun well uh I'll be there I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so please tell me you're not going to dress up like a dinosaur not two years in a row I I'll come to the party but I'm not dressing up you have to no way look Halloween is so stupid dressing up and pretending to be someone you're not you're an actor so Ross are you going to bring Mona yeah yeah I think I will the hot girl from their wedding yeah well hey if she needs any ideas for costumes she could be a uh bikini model or nurse or sexy cheerleader or o Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre no no no leather face now wasn't Joey hitting on her at the wedding too that's right he was hitting on her and I got her I guess the better man won please don't take her from me hey don't do it's worse than the song Hey this is so unfair oh why is it so I have a flaw big deal like Joey's constant knuckle cracking isn't annoying and Ross with his over pronouncing every single word and Monica with that snort when she laughs I mean what the hell is that thing I accept all those flaws why can't you accept me for this does a knuckle cracking bother everybody well I I could live without it was it like a little Annoying or is it like when Phoebe chews her head oh now don't listen to him phes all right I think it's endearing oh you do do you you know there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly indeed there [Music] isn't I should really get back to work yeah otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered well oh oh the hair comes out and the gloves come off this gu right here listen now you want anything to drink cuz I'm heading up there uh yeah I'll take a coffee thanks man sure coffee no coffee cuz I'm going up there oh no thank you do you guys need anything cuz I'm heading up there I'd love a Ice Water you got it Joey what are you doing just being friendly Joey I I don't think you're supposed to go back there no no it's okay right Gunther don't wink at me put on your apron okay don't see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons Joey do you work here no waiter yeah [Music] Joey what's going on why didn't you tell us you work here it's kind of embarrassing you know I mean I was an actor now I'm a waiter supposed to go in the other direction shows your apron you're wearing it like a cape I mean the job's easy and the money's good you know and I guess I'm going to be hanging out here anyway I might as well get paid for it right just feel kind of weird serving you guys you know Joey come on I did it and it was fine yeah why would it be weird hey Joey uh can I get some coffee okay I guess it doesn't seem that weird seriously I I asked you before you still haven't gotten it see now it's weird again I think it's great that you work here you're going to make a lot of money and here's your first tip don't yell snow 215 Coffee House fees guess who we saw today oh oh fun okay um Liam n no Marley safer no the woman who cuts my hair okay look this could be a really long game your sister Ursula oh really yeah yeah she works over at that place uh riffs yeah I know oh you do because she said you guys haven't talked in like years mhm yeah so um is she fat not from where I was standing where were you standing um PHS so you you guys just don't get along it's mostly just dumb sister stuff you know I mean like everyone always thought of her as the pretty one you know and oh oh she was the first one to start walking even though I did it later that same day but to my parents by then it was like yeah right well what else is new that's right still no baby come on people please let make some room uh Sweetie maybe you'd be more comfortable here you like you haven't done enough but I I know how miserable you are I wish there was something I can do I I I wish I were a seahorse because with seahorses the it's the male they they carry the babies and then also um I'd be far away in the sea oh I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life oh I know I've been there I remember toward the end oh bab that's a great story could you tell it to me while you're getting me some iced tea oh God get out get out get out get out let's so uh was he excited about the tickets no he blew us off what I know can't believe it can I tell you something I'm a little mad at him now I tell you something me too you know what he didn't want to talk to us about being angry or maybe we don't talk to him at all ooh freeze him out that's right I like it yeah we'll show him from now on it's going to be Joey and Ross best friends we're going to be the new Joey and Chandler oh my God no shoot Kitty no no no no shoot come on you come on crazy oh my God what nothing nothing what what's wrong I just I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my mother you mean the mom you met in mon talk she was a cat no no no she was a human Lady this is the spirit of my mom Lily the one that killed herself are you sure she's in the cat or have you been taking your grandma's glaucoma medicine again no Dr skeptism Mo I'm sure first of all okay there's the feeling okay and for another how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is mind with orange felt my mother's favorite fish was orange ruffy cats like fish hi Mommy oh I haven't seen this smile in 17 years dude Phoebe's mom's got a huge P Let It Go hey hey check it out guess what I got rhythm no my first fan mail check it out Dear Dr rore know that I love you and would do anything to have you gosh you're not so secret admirer Erica Ford oh wait PS and close please find 14 of my eyelashes you know in crazy world that means you're married this wasn't address to Days of Our Lives this is this came to your apartment there's no stamp on it this woman was in our building oh my God I got my very own stalker you mean whenever Monica and Chandler were like you know doing laundry or going grocery shopping or all that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from Camp uhhuh doing it doing it phone doing it I can't believe it I mean I think it's great for him she might be able to do better hey guys Joey come here come here what what bab just found out about Monica and Chandler you mean how they're friends and nothing more no no Joey she knows we were at ugly naked guys apartment and we saw them doing it through the window actually we saw them doing it up against the window okay so now they know you know and they don't know that Rachel knows yes but you know it doesn't matter who knows what now enough of us know that we could just tell them we know now all The Lion and the secrets will finally be over or we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own what what do you mean well you know every time that they say they're like doing laundry well just give them a bunch of laundry to do oh I I would enjoy that oh no no no no wait wait do you know what would be even more fun telling them yeah no I want to do pho's thing I can't take any you don't have to do anything just don't tell them that we know no I I can't take any more secrets I get your secrets I got their secrets I got secrets of my own you know you don't have any secrets oh yeah well you don't know about hugsy my bedtime penguin pal so um how how are we going to mess with them well you could use your position you know as as the roommate and then I would use you know the strongest tool at my disposal my sexuality hello children hey hey hey watch learn and don't eat my cookie hey hey o wow that jacket looks great on you really yeah the material Looks So Soft oh hello Mr bicep you've been working out well I try to you know squeeze [Laughter] things you okay well if you really want to know I oh I can't tell you this maybe it's me you can tell me anything well actually you're the one person I can't tell this to and the one person I want to the most what's going on I think it's just you know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and you know how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don't even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffee oh no have I said too much hey I'm all packed and ready to go well that's right daddy and Uncle Joey are going on a trip today we're going to a conference in Barbados right can you say Barbados Barbados got to say uh it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to to hear me give my speech o and I have a surprise uh I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference that's right these babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars do you have anything that will get us out of them yeah Ross I mean we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're going to want to do you know Island stuff well I think David will probably want to hear a few lectures oh right because he's a scientist no no well because you know he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight he'll die okay we better go yeah um so we'll see you guys tomorrow all right let's do it 5H hour flight with Charlie have a couple drinks get under that blanket and do what comes natural it's a blanket Joe not a cloak of invisibility hey hey how was the first day excellent everyone was so so nice see it pays to know the man who wears my shoes me no I didn't tell anybody that I knew you why not well because you know they don't like you what I thought you knew that nuh-uh who doesn't like me everyone except for um no everyone what what are you talking about don't feel bad you know they used to like you a lot but then you got promoted and you know now you're all like Mr Boss Man you know Mr Bing Mr Bing boss man Bing I can't believe it yeah yeah they even do you they do me you know like um okay um could that report be any later I don't sound like that oh oh yeah you do the hills are alive with the sound of music my scone my scone okay I don't sound like that that is so not true that is so not that is so that oh shut up hey hey wow don't you look nice yes I do today's uh Mike and my Oney year anniversary oh what's it the anniversary of your first uh date your first kiss first time you had sex yeah so you must be going somewhere fancy to celebrate uhhuh um a Nick's game uh aren't you a little overdressed hey you know what I've never had a won your anniversary before so no matter where we go I'm wearing something Fancy Pants and I'm going to put on my finest jewelry and we're going to have sex in a public restroom you guys do that Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom that's where people make number two hey hey hey and this from the cry for Health Department are you wearing makeup yes I am as of today I am officially joing Jo tribiani actor/model thank you that's so funny cuz I was thinking you look more like Joey triani man/woman what were you modeling for well you know those posters for the city free clinic oh wow so you're going to be one of those healthy healthy healthy guys you know the asthma guy really cute you know which one you're going to be no but I hear lime disease is open so you know good luck man I hope you get it thanks well you were right how can they do this to us huh it's Thanksgiving okay I tell you what how about if I cook dinner at my place I'll make it just like Mom's will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps you know they're not actually supposed to I'll work on the lumps Joey you're going home right yeah and I assume Chandler you're still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays yes every single one of them and B you're going to be with your grandma Yeah and and her boyfriend but we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December cuz he's luner you guys guess what Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce oh my God what is the matter with you no Barry and Mindy oh sorry I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross who who's Barry and Mindy Barry was the guy that I almost married and mind was my best friend oh oh wasn't he cheating on you with her yeah but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me c can you imagine if I'd actually married him I mean how different would my life be I know what you mean I've always wondered how different my life would be if if I'd never gotten divorced which time the first time well seriously imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian I can't I keep seeing it the good way I bet I'd still be doing my karate towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of karate as a way of releasing the tension from you know not doing anything else physical maybe the problem was you were pronouncing It [Music] karate

Channel: Friends

Views: 1,091,450

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Id: qmgTn199WOE

Length: 47min 53sec (2873 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 02 2024