Brooklyn 99 goes OLD SKOOL | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

you wrong about ho that man has forgotten more about being a cop than you will ever know in 1981 he caught the Disco Strangler it's over disco man put down the yo-yo and back away from the girl Captain I'm sorry to interrupt I just got off the phone with the Department of Corrections they wanted me to let you know that Ernest zamski died my goodness it's been a while since I've heard that name I hunted him for years and finally caught him and put an end to his blood lust in some sick way I am who I am because of Ernest Zumi aka the Disco Strangler oh so you knew who I was talking about yes sure you talk about him a lot you know the yo-yo was his calling card oh I mentioned that too so how'd he die he was in a prison transport van and he got in a terrible accident it burst into flames and he was trapped inside well well well he finally did it died horribly escaped just like he said he would all those years ago I'll be coming back for you I'm just like disco baby I will never die true disco will never die but you will in yourself Punk oh so I've told that part of the story as well yes at every Christmas party sir I am the first to tout the capabilities of senior citizens I've made love to many but the Disco Strangler is over 80 I doubt that he can pull off an escape like this oh that's what he wants you to think you're both underes estimating him I know 28 other people who did that and they all ended up with yo-yos around their throats I said throats not necks which means I haven't told that story too many times all right lace up your dancing shoes because it's time to catch this disco bastard the burns on Zumi's body are consistent with a massive vehicle fire if this even is his body excuse me we're talking about the Disco Strangler a serial killer who for six years stayed one step ahead of the entire NYPD sure he had many steps left in him sir take a look a he looks fragile and sweet sweet as poison pie were you able to match the dental records to the Disco Strangler no the body had no teeth wow that's suspicious not really Zumi didn't have any teeth either due to him being very old yes and what about the fact that this corpse is 71 in tall when the Disco Strangler was 76 he shrank over time is that another old person thing yes it is another old person thing we also have a DNA match between hair on the head of this body and the Disco Strangler sir this is clearly zumas and that's a good thing you can finally say goodbye to your Nemesis thanks Sergeant that's a nice thought for an idiot to have look at this a dirty little string oh it's not just any old string it's a yo-yo string the most dangerous part of the yo-yo the Strangler wanted me to find this he's out there he always seduced an accomplice into doing his fish bidding I bet it was the van driver you mean the woman who was thrown violently from the vehicle and just barely survived yeah I'm sure she was very badly injured sorry if my voice is raspy they just took the breathing too out but they left the BS in good God who so miss park it says in my file that you drove Mr Zumi on multiple occasions yes because he had to go to the hospital a lot he was very very old she's clearly been seduced she has let's cut the crap you helped him Escape you planted a caver in the back you flipped the van on purpose then the Strangler set it on fire and sprinkle some of his hair nearby so there'd be a DNA match then he left behind his calling card this yo-yo string freeze NYPD is that Raymond Holtz I see you haven't changed a bit neither have you Ernest what neither have you Ernest what neither have you nnest this is hard to watch you're just as devious as ever you seduced the van driver didn't you no I seduced the van driver she couldn't resist my groovy Voodoo and the yo-yo string was a message the what was it what the yoyo string was Captain this is embarrassing can we just take him in yeah you're right this isn't what IID hoped for go ahead and cuff him gently this isn't the last you hear from me Raymond I'm never going to die sure you won't whatever makes you feel better no you're the punk just put him in the car so two keys huh that's a lot of snow Yeah if you can't handle it we're happy to find someone who can don't worry about me friend I can handle it Marissa baby go get our guest something to drink would you we don't want to drink what is this a social call it's not a tea party look like 5-year-old girls to Gentlemen please have some patience two keys pure as a Catholic school girl did you bring the cash oh we brought something much better than cash what's that our guns NYPD you're under arrest [Music] boss man's gone where'd he go thank you kindly little [Music] lady gioc Costa you're under arrest you what that drink now Hitchcock Don't Mind If I Do Scully Don't Mind If I Do let's set the scene the year is 1986 Top Gun is crushing the box office and the Beasty Boys have just been issued their License to Ill and that's the year I got felt up for the first time under the shirt always a big moment in a young boy's life all right tell us about the case we were working organized crime and we took down a Mafia Boss geoc Costa for running cocaine we were the studs of the n99 well I'm sure studs is a bit of a oh my God I can't believe I'm going to say this but me no that is not what I was going to say but honestly yeah me out no offense guys but what the hell happened to you are you body shaming us no I'm personality shaming you you were so alert and cool and job doing so how did you get to Costa we had a CI on the inside who helped set up a sting we took down Costa recovered a ton of coke and three duffel bags full of cash seems pretty clearcut but then why would IIA reopen the case unless they think it's some sort of Freaky Friday situation and you guys traded places with horny singles in your area it's possible so what happened to the CI who knows it was so long ago I mean I barely remember how I got to work this morning I think there was an ambulance involved oh there was oh wait a minute here's a question you said you recovered three duffel bags full of cash and that's what the evidence logs say as well yeah so so count the bags 1 2 3 like you said but then take a look in this mirror behind you the one that shows off your shockingly taut bottoms a fourth bag oh probably missed it yeah you know us for Dum Dums but even you wouldn't miss a giant bag full of cash it was the 80s at least weren't perfect then like they are today all right calm down we're not accusing you of anything right Jake kind of was we were freaking Heroes anybody have a trash can cuz flat top in the freak are bringing in some garbage you guys had badass entrance lines and people cheered what happened where did it all go wrong some things aren't for us to know look guys we never had that money here we'll prove it to you those are our financial records I don't have any retirement I don't have any security or a car I rent most of my clothes we get it you're poor I'm not just poor son I'm dud definitely not a winable line look at all these credit card charges for Wing [ __ ] it can't be healthy to eat eat there this much if you want a diet option the Marine Park location has a blue cheese parfait you guys go all the way down to Marine Park for wings there's a waitress there who always gives us an extra drumstick in our [ __ ] bucket oh no they found us damn straight we did what were you thinking they obviously weren't thinking about anyone especially the one friend me who had their backs and believed in them the whole time why is little one so mad he's going through something now stand up wet wipe your hands and put them behind your back so we can cuff you oh thank God I'm so tired of running it's only been an hour stop they didn't do anything wrong excuse me ma'am this is Police business I know I'm Donna the manager here but my real name is Marissa Costa I'm gioc Costa's wife and I'm the reason they're here you the informant yeah I was Marissa's the only reason we got Costa but our captain screwed her over he wouldn't put her in witness protection so you did take the cash you just didn't keep it you gave it to her we'd come down here and check on her periodically yeah we never spoke but if she put an extra Wing in our [ __ ] bucket it meant everything was okay which so I was right Hitchcock and Skully are good people you bet your nips we are skid mark well hey Donna just want to make sure you're okay here working at Wing [ __ ] yeah it's a good job and I'm excited about my new life thanks our pleasure well we're going to go hit the gym for the second time today wait you need some protein to fuel those hard bodies it's on me H what the heck One Wing can't hurt take breath Take My Breath [Applause] [Music] Away hey Terry I have a package for you ooh Serge got a present what's in the box Brad Pit 7 but seriously what's in the box the worst thing in the world shut up stupid okay so who sent you the kitten and why do you hate it it's not a kitten it's a slap in the face for something that happened 20 years ago well you flat top I know you had a flat top cuz I saw pictures sorry go on with your story flat top Terry it was 1995 I just made detectives I was really excited about my first day at the 65 but the guys in the squad were a bunch of jerks hi I'm Terry which desk is mine solve a case then you get a desk they were like that about a lot of stuff well solve a case then you get coffee solve a case then you can sign Debbie's birthday card sounds like you needed to solve a case exactly so I picked the biggest one I could find a string of bnes all with the same emmo guy climbed in through high-rise Windows after a month I found my suspect Dimitri kusco an ex acrobat with a criminal record circus trash it has to be him that's exactly what I said circus trash it has to be him I tracked down my acrobat got swwa to surround this building there was no way anything could go wrong down get on the ground uh-oh my guy had a terrible trapeze fault two years prior snapped his spine in half so why the kitten well in the moment I may have gotten a little fluster but look he's got a cat he trained a cat to do the robberies that's why they call them cat Burgers why is no one saying anything oh Terry yeah now they send me cast to remind me of that day and rub it in my face I'm going to go put an ad online so I can find someone adopt this evil little turd I it was 20 years ago no one remembers anything I'm beginning to think maybe we should climb out on that ledge and see how the per got in I was going to say give up what right after I came up with that incredible ledge thing Terry we're 10 stories up you can handle that Sarge I'm not scared of heights okay I'm scared of bees and I'm scared of snakes and I'm scared that the Knicks might never be good again but I am not scared of heights we're going to die we're going to die we're going to die we're going to die we're going to die we're going to die we're going to die yeah I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about my window let you freak out what up Jake why are these dicks out of their cage I stayed up all night working on your case and Hans John and nakatomi made for great company I gave them all die hard names I don't understand why you waste another night on a Case no one's ever going to solve Sergeant I am way too sleep deprived to deal with your negativity right now let me show you what I did I started off by making a map of all of the burglaries that have gone down in Brooklyn since 1996 to see see if there was a pattern that led me to this there is so much crime in New York no one should live here anyways I tripped out on that for a couple hours but I got cheered up after I took a picture of the kitties messing around in my little hoodie I'll show it to you later so basically you wasted a whole night no no no my friend no no no cuz then I dove back into your file and found this Co the low point in my entire life sge this photo was taken in 1996 you told me your guy broke his spine 2 years years before that so 94 check out his sneakers 95 Jordans they came out a year after the accident look at the souls they're all Mighty which means that son of a [ __ ] can walk Bingo let's go hey there remember me so this is weird oh no you don't surf STP I knew it you could walk the whole time I was right about the catac confus too huh now where's the cat been 20 years sge cat's probably dead I'm still bringing them in hey I've been looking for you before you decide what to do with Sam there's someone I think you should talk to Miss Miriam surprise I tracked down your old ballet coach I brought her in to remind you of the effect a kind nurturing Pres presence can have on a young life hello dear have you continued to dance no Miss Miram well there's no surprise in that you always were a Lazy Ox what this now look at your posture you look as if you should be ringing the bells at notredam Miss Miriam was not nurturing at all all right ax let's see what you've got 5 six 78 eyes up shoulders down well that wasn't terrible see Serge tough love works damn it Terry proved the wrong point so we don't know if anyone helped George Judy escape from this hospital security cameras show him entering this Courtyard but never coming back out dude just vanished Terry hates hospitals they wreak of death oh not you ma'am you weak of Life maybe he went up the wall like this never mind it's not possible sure [Music] damn Rosa how did you do that I have a dark past now you know my deepest shame cool well now that I saw you do it I get how to do it too oh damn Terry I win again which is not surprising given how you're both terrible you don't even know the termin ology what are you talking about hit me that is Blackjack Snake Eyes craps goish and I believe that is Go Fish fine Jake stinks but I can play yes but you have a rather unfortunate tell your right breast oh no my cards are terrible Sur they are damn it Eugene you sold me out Captain do I have a tell no you don't understand the game well enough to have a tell yeah that makes sense what about you what's your tell it is subtle you will never desert it oh really well challenge accepted tell me a lie you both graded poker and I'm not going to cancel this Mission nope I couldn't see it wait what you're canceling the mission you can't do that this is our only shot at catching Bono it's a foolish plan neither of you have any chance of making it to the VIP table but maybe you could what if you played no I don't gamble anymore a few years back I had a minor addiction specifically involving the ponies I'd like to bet $220,000 on Yaba daa D so let's play some cards and now for all to say the following I'm coming in under the gun and I've got 15K behind Okay actions on you m tasty razor 500 razor 500 made it my own what I was just talking to myself I'm used to playing online so it's not weird well well well you flopped the absolute nuts bar all to go all in are you sure on a firstand captain it's what the math dictates at this moment there are no two cars that can beat barala I'm all in and now they all fold like so much recently dried linen call what an idiot two players what Full House wins yes no he won not you and you're out of chips oh well that sucks guess I'll just head back to my mom's basement I'm a virgin all clear no Poopers repeat no Poopers that was a disaster I thought H was supposed to be great at this any Poopers all clear what happened captain that imbecile in the trucker hat hit both those Runners and sucked out on the river yeah he did what does that mean not to worry the odds of that happening again are infinitesimal not that it matters since we're out of money oh but we're not where' this come from it's my money there have 25 ATMs in this place even the fire exit has one you want us to use your own money you sure that's a good idea I haven't placed a bed or touched a card I'm fine technically that is true trust me the math is in our favor all right let's get back in there and suck out two Runners down by the river did I say that right not even close yeah I think so still let's get in there and suck them out no time like the present and no place to do it like the men's bathroom to leave from here to go do what we were talking about evening gentlemen ready for some poker that's why we're here good one stranger I'll take50 hot damn Four Queens I call this hand the golden girls damn it oh would you look at that my mom's calling me she's flipping her lid cuz she found all my nudie mags in the basement anyways BRB what happened to not wanting to gamble anymore for Kevin sir you are spiraling you lied straight to our faces well that's on you if you could spot my ta you would have known fine what's your ta let's just say I'm doing it right now I'm doing it at this very moment is it standing up I've just done it again oops there's another time I don't understand even if you wanted to gamble why come here where we'd be I lost a lot of money on lame little Jayla and I realized that's because I've been gambling instead of being down here doing what I'm good at math now go get valdano before you blow your covers I'm off duty what I do on my own time is my own business unlike you two who are still on the clock and are now being bad cops wow listen to you talking all smooth but you can't fool us sir you might as well face it you're addicted to math Robert bommer come on all right let's go attention Squad put your hands together for the long anticipated reunion of D DC DDC DD C put a j with a G you get DD the gas face what the hell is the DDC I don't know but I love it the DDC is the dope denim crew our 20year high school reunion is tonight and the party is '90s themed so we're dressing the way we did back then aka hella fresh can't wait to see everyone we graduated with and lie to them about what I've been up to for my own Amusement it's going to be FIB City population Gina Clooney but Jake how can you be excited to return to your high school the scene of tattle gate what's tattle gate why haven't I heard anything about it it was junior year and Jake was riding High Charles no one wants to hear this story from you it was junior year and Jake was riding High sophomore year was rough but now I was back with a hot new look an earring and long hair which was my look he just copied it and it worked I was finally cool in becoming friends with the most popular kid in school Brandon Bliss dope name sounds hot he was hot Rosa for the record he could barely read he didn't have to read Gina he lost his virginity when he was 12 years old which is horrifying but it wasn't back then back then it was everything he asked me to ditch class one day with him and his buddies steal a school van and go get drunk at his parents cabin but the day before we were supposed to go someone ratted Brandon out and he got suspended he thought I was the one who told and from that day forward everyone called me the Tattler tler it's a sexy nickname it was not a sexy nickname it was a scarlet letter and it ruined my senior year all right we should start by talking to Brandon Bliss and find out who told him you were the todler unfortunately Bliss is not here probably in the VIP section at a fat booy slim concert would that be cool for a 37-year-old the funk old brother is timeless as all right I don't know who told Brandon but I heard it was someone on the football team okay well we need more information than that so take me back to the day spare no details okay I saw saw Brandon after second period and everything seemed tight but then when I saw him after third period something had clearly [Applause] changed after that there was little color left in the world for young Jake my earring less gold my jenko jeans less purple are you sure you were becoming cool yeah why Jake hey what's going on man the answer to that question goes back to a Brisk day in 1997 a day you told a lie but the lying stops right now oh no you broke some poor kid science project we have to fix it kind of in the middle of something oh you know what crib cycle I got this great so Danny true or false you were on the football team true and true or false you had third period with Brandon Bliss I honestly don't remember it was true we checked the records and I have one more question oh Jake can you get me that oxygen on the floor little red guy sorry you know what yeah I'll get it why did you tell Brandon Bliss that I was the Tattler because you were I saw you talk to the principal I remember a clearest day look you couldn't have seen me because I wasn't there I didn't tattle man it was you okay you had your long hair and your little earring and the denim jacket you are literally wearing right now oh no it wasn't me but it was the DDC do you know why Brandon wasn't at the reunion tonight I don't know probably cuz he was shooting a beer commercial where the whole plot was that everyone wanted to sleep with him no cuz he's on parole he's not allowed to leave the state of Delaware oh okay so that's obviously a bummer but I wasn't going to end up like him you were starting to you wanted to steal a van with them and I told you not to and you weren't listening to me I mean what would have happened if you got caught I don't know you would never have become a cop yeah I'm the reason you're a cop I'm your origin story dude you can't be mad at me I feel like I'm still pretty mad Peter Parker wasn't mad at his spider yeah but they weren't best friends before the bite and it still doesn't explain how you let everyone think I was the Tattler for 20 years well I didn't want to lose our friendship I was being weak I'm sorry how's it going with the copier not great I got through the customer service but I really don't remember that much Japanese when it comes to cheating you got to pay attention to all the signs during my year abroad in Japan I learned that the hard wayak k tell you there was no Japanese Tes but there was a Japanese man I wasted a year on [Music] chiaki I stared at the Paper Walls for weeks just tell us that this is impossible we don't have a lot of time to waste and we've been here like 5 hours already oh you know think I can do this is it because I'm a woman no no I didn't say that I think women are amazing thank you and now I'm about to hack your world into pieces old man I'll show you no just do the thing with the bank that'll show me whoa looks like someone was a catalog model in Japan those boots that's slicker than no pants who's the target audience for these pigs Serge I was a starving student Terry needed to in he [Music]

Channel: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Views: 457,849

Keywords: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, brooklyn 99, b99, Stephanie Beatriz, Rosa Diaz, Jake Peralta, Andy Samberg, Detective Charles Boyle, Melissa Fumero, Detective Amy Santiago, Detective Jake Peralta, Terry Jeffords, Amy Santiago, Chelsea Peretti, Andre Braugher, Gina Linetti, Terry Crews, Joe Lo Truglio, brooklyn 99 i want it that way, brooklyn 99 bloopers, brooklyn 99 backstreet boys, brooklyn 99 funny moments, brooklyn 99 captain holt, brooklyn 99 cold open, brooklyn 99 full episode

Id: mOgd2mAZHIQ

Length: 24min 43sec (1483 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 28 2024