Unforgettable Sheldon Cooper Moments (Season 1) | The Big Bang Theory

do you guys mind if I start um Penny yeah that's where I sit sit next to me no I said there what's the difference what's the difference here we go in the winter that seed is close enough to the radiator to remain warm and yet not so close as to cause perspiration in the summer it's directly in the path of a cross Breeze created by opening Windows there and there it faces the television at an angle that is neither Direct th discouraging conversation nor so far wide as to create a parallax Distortion I could go on but I think I've made my point do you want me to move well just sit somewhere else [Laughter] fine Sheldon sit ah big boy someone touched my board oh God my board Leonard Leonard hey what's the matter my equations someone's tampered with my equations are you sure of course I'm sure look at the beta function of quantum chromodynamics the sign's been changed oh yeah but doesn't that fix the problem you've been having are you insane are you out of your mind are you hey look that fixes the problem I've been having you're welcome you did this yeah I noticed it when I got up to get a glass of water so I fixed it now you can show that corks are ASM totically free at high energies pretty cool huh cool listen I got to get to the lab thanks for a great night thank you I'll see you at work you D hold on hold on what who told you you could touch my board no one yeah I don't come into your house and touch your board there are no incorrect equations on my board oh that is so so I'm sorry I got to run if you come up with an adjective text me he's nuts don't be insulting rajes so Sheldon tell me more about this princess do you say I look like it was said that the gods fashioned her eyes out of the stars and that roses were ashamed to bloom in the presence of her Ruby lips oh my back off Sheldon what if you do not stop hitting on my lady you will feel the full extent of my wrath I'm not hitting on her and I am not your lady and you have no wrath you are my lady our parents said so we are for all intents and purposes 100% hooked up okay let's get something straight here the only reason I came tonight was to get my parents off my case I certainly don't need to be getting this old world crap from you that's exactly the kind of spirit with which princess panchali led the monkeys to Freedom screw princess panchali hey you can't talk to me like that but you're not princess Pali luckily for you she could have you beheaded there any questions yeah yeah what the hell was that any other questions Dr Sheldon Cooper Here I Am the lead author of this particular paper thank you and you sir you have completely skipped over the part where I was walking through the park and I saw these children on a marry go around which started me thinking about the moment of inertia in gases like helium at temperatures approaching absolute zero I didn't skip it it's just an anecdote it's not science oh oh I see it was the Apple falling on Newton's head was that just an anecdote you are not Isaac Newton no no that's true gravity would have been apparent to me without the Apple you canot possibly be that arrogant you continue to underestimate me my good man look if you weren't happy with my presentation then maybe you should have given it with me as I have explained repeatedly unlike you I don't need validation from lesser Minds no offense really so why did you come because I knew you'd screwed this up maybe I didn't go to college when I was 11 like you maybe I got my doctorate at 24 instead of 16 but you are not the only person who was smarter than everyone else in this room no offense and and I am clearly not the only person who is tormented by insecurity and has an ego in need of constant validation so you admit you're an egotist yes my name is Dr Leonard hofstadter and I could never please my parents so I need to get all my self-esteem from strangers like you but he's worse oh okay that is it stop it you cannot blow up my head with your mind then I'll settle for an aneurysm stop it you hit me you saw that he hit me trying to blow up my head so it was working it wasn't it was not what you are a nutcase oh see about that heads up you people in the front row this is a Splash Zone stop it quit it is this usually how these physics things go more often than you think ner oh dear God Leonard Leonard I'm sick I'm sick leard leard Leonard Leonard my comforter fell down in my side as is hurt when I bend over letter ow hey lard where are you I'm at work at 6:30 in the morning yes on Sunday yes why they asked me to come in I didn't hear the phone ring they texted me well as I predicted I am sick my fever has been tracking up exponentially since 2: a.m. and I am producing sputum at an alarming rate no kidding nope not only that it has shifted from clear to milky green would it's the phone I know it's the phone Ma I hear the phone well who's calling at this ungodly hour I don't know well ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour how can I ask them when I'm talking to you hello it's Leonard code milky green dear Lord Lord not milky green all right and this is my office is this part of the tour nope goodbye come on Sheldon we've hardly shown him anything all right this is my desk these are my books this is my door please close it behind you goodbye looks like you're doing work in Quantum Loop Corrections Keen observation goodbye you see where he went wrong don't you Leonard yeah get him out come on Dennis I'll show you the rec center they've got Nautilus equipment do I look like I lift weights not heavy ones it's startling to me you haven't considered a Loren and ver in your field Theory approach you think I haven't considered it you really think I haven't considered it have you considered it get him out Leonard come on Dennis I'll show you the radiation lab wow you won the Stevenson award yes in fact I am the youngest person ever to win it really how old 14 and A2 you were the youngest person ever to win it it's like looking into an obnoxious little mirror isn't it here's the problem with teleportation lay it on me assuming a device could be invented which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly you would not have actually transported the individual you would have destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another how about that personally I would never use a transporter because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon no he would be exactly the same that is a problem so you see it too the final question the score now stands AA 1150 PMS 1175 so for 100 points and the match please turn your attention to the formula on the screens solve the equation holy crap up what the hell is that it looks like something they found on the ship at Roswell come on think Leslie Leonard it's not going to work if you rush me you have to let me get there you are never going to let that go are you 10 seconds he doesn't have it he's got squat hey he I need your answer the answer is minus 8 Pi Alpha hang on hang on a second that's not our answer what are you doing answering question winning physics Bowl how do you know anything about physics here I am janitor in former Soviet Union I am physicist lenr poly Technica go polar bears well that's a delightful little story but our Arrangement was that you sit here and not say anything I answer the questions you didn't answer a question hey look now maybe you have democracy now in your beloved Russia but on this physics Bowl team I rule with an iron fist ow hey hey I need your official answer well it's not what he said then what is it I want a different question you can't have a different question formal protest denied informal protest denied I need your official answer no I declin to provide one well that's too bad because the answer your teammate gave was correct that's your opinion all right the winner of the match is hang on Sheldon is proving that you are single-handedly smarter than everyone else so important that you would rather lose by yourself than win as part of a team I don't understand the question uh Sheldon I didn't see your present that's because I didn't bring one why not don't ask the entire institution of gift giving makes no sense too late let's say that I go out and I spend $50 on you it's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need whereas you know what you need now I could simplify things just give you the $50 directly and then you could give me $50 on my birthday and so on until one of us dies leaving the other one old and $50 richer and I ask you is it worth it don't told you not to ask well Sheldon you're his friend friends give each other presents if I accept your premise I reject your conclusion try telling him it's a non-optional social convention what just do it it's a non-optional social convention ah fair enough he came with a manual in 1935 Irwin Schrodinger in an attempt to explain the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum physics he proposed an experiment where a cat is placed in a box with a sealed vial of poison that will break open at a random time now since no one knows when or if the poison has been released until the box is opened the cat can be thought of is both alive and dead I'm sorry I don't get the point of course you don't get it I haven't made it yet you have to be psychic to get it and there's no such thing as psychic sh what's the point just like Schrodinger's cat your potential relationship with Leonard right now can be thought of as both good and bad it is only by opening the box that you'll find out which it is okay so you're saying I should go out with Leonard no no no no no no let me start again in 1935 TR Sheldon I think I've made a mistake I can see that unless you're planning on running a marathon choosing both stuffing and mashed potatoes is a starch field redundancy no it's about penny a mistake involving Penny okay you'll have to narrow it down I don't think I can go out with her tonight then don't other people would say why not other people might be interested I'm going to talk anyway I assumed you would now that I'm actually about to go out with penny I'm not excited I'm nauseous ah then your meal choice is appropriate starch absorbs fluid which reduces the amount of vomit available for violent expulsion Sheldon this date is probably my one chance with Penny what happens if I blow it well if we accept your premise and also accept the highly improbable assumption that penny is the only woman in the world for you then we can logically conclude that the result of blowing it would be that you end up a lonely bitter old man with no progeny the image of any number of evil Lighthouse Keepers from Scooby-Doo cartoons comes to mind tell me whether or not to go through with the date stringer's cat wow that's brilliant you sound [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] surprised

Channel: Big Bang Theory

Views: 198,875

Keywords: Comedy, TV, Funny, The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon, Penny, Leonard, Laughing, Warner Bros.

Id: D5brNz3UIcw

Length: 17min 27sec (1047 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 28 2024