The Full Sheldon and Amy Story | The Big Bang Theory

in a few minutes when I gloat over the failure of this Enterprise how would you prefer I do it the standard I told you so with the classic nener nener or just my normal look of hottie derision you don't know we're wrong yet hotty derision it is excuse me I'm Amy Farah Fowler your Sheldon Cooper hello Amy Farah Fowler I'm sorry to inform you that you've been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to pray on the gullible and the lonely additionally I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock if that was slang I'm unfamiliar with it if it was literal I share your aversion to soiled hosery in any case I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year interesting my mother and I have the same agreement about church I don't object to the concept of a deity but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance and then you might want to avoid East Texas noted now before this goes any further you should know that all forms of physical contact up to un including quitus are off the table may I buy you a beverage tpid water please good god what have we done it was nice spending this time with you wait I have a request yes I'd like you to meet my mother I see can I get back to you on that certainly good night good night Leonard Leonard Leonard Leonard Leonard Leonard Leonard lard Leonard Leonard leard leard leard leard leard Leonard leard leard leard yeah what Amy Farah Fowler has asked me to meet her mother yeah so what does that mean well you know how you're always saying that Amy is a girl who's your friend and not your girlfriend uhhuh you can't say that anymore what are you working on I'm removing my digital footprint from the internet so Amy Farah Fowler can't find me and compel me to meet her mother oh you're going off the grid exact ly the old unibomber approach Kudos thank you I've also sent Amy a relationship termination notice and change my cell phone number and email address what if she just comes over she'll get lost we no longer live at 2311 Los Robles we now live at 311 Los Robles you changed the address on the building what about mail but no worries I explained my predicament to our letter carrier he was sympathetic his exact words were got your back Jack be crazy who is it Amy Farah Fowler darn she found me she's been here before we only flaw on an otherwise perfect plan nice to to meet you too Sheldon I honestly didn't believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend I assure you I am quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter what oh yes we are like wild animals in heat it's a wonder neither of us has been hurt Amy what is he saying you wanted me to have a boyfriend mother well here he is have to sign off now my Hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins oh yes it's time for me to make love to your daughter's [Laughter] vagina thank you Sheldon that went very well agreed Amy I find myself wondering if we should actually engage in cius at least one time in our relationship Bazinga bedtime please show yourself out I'm going to ask you something and I'd like you to keep an open mind always at this moment I find myself craving human intimacy and physical contct oh boy you know ours is a relationship of the Mind proposal one wild night of torid love making that soothes my soul and inflames my loins counter proposal I will gently stroke your head and repeat a who's a good Amy how about this French kissing Seven Minutes in Heaven culminating in second base neck massage then you get me that beverage we cuddle final offer very well oh boy I'm just saying second base is right there pardon me EXC pardon me excuse me hi Stuart hi Sheldon pardon shelden what are you doing here the thought of you sitting in a darken theater with a character like Stuart is repellent no offense Stuart none taken although repellent is kind of a kind of a strong word I'm sorry this causes you Comfort but based on the currently established parameters of our relationship I can put myself in any repellent situation I want um again steuart please you're being rude anything else I believe I would like to alter the Paradigm of our relationship I'm listening with the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever physical or otherwise I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend interesting now try it without the quadruple negative you're being impossible hi Stuart fine Amy will you be my girlfriend yes well that's enough of that sorry to interrupt you two enjoy your date well here's a dollar for your troubles get yourself some Sour Patch Kids Amy hey Amy oh right funeral Amy hello Sheldon I'm not allowed to wear my Silver Surfer necktie you can wear a bath robe I think I'm too sick to go to the funeral you're sick you poor kid well see you Sheldon aren't you going to take care of me me no no I'm not that kind of doctor but our relation relationship agreement clearly states that when one of us is sick the other must take care of them oh I see the confusion no the intent behind that Clause was to force you to take care of me when I'm Ill when you're feeling better you'll think that's funny never mind good night shelda Amy Amy Amy I made a commitment in writing to comfort you in times like this and additionally you are my girlfriend and I care about your well-being thank you Sheldon you're welcome now let's get this over with 102 .2 exactly what it was half an hour ago it's like you're not even trying to get better Sheldon you don't get over the flu in half an hour well not with that attitude I have to say I'm finding your bedside manner a little lacking I'm sorry I just want you to get better as soon as possible and with that goal in mind let me ask you a question do you believe in the sibo effect of course I do there have been many studies proving its validity great now this may look like a Tic Tac but it is really a powerful medication specifically designed to cure your illness as well as freshen your breath Sheldon this isn't helping why don't you just let me get some rest well how can you sleep I'm not done making you feel better I still have to put a cold rag on your head sing to you and apply vapo rub to your chest you want to rub something on my chest yes all over it maybe we should start with that now you're being a responsible patient now you may notice some tingling oh I'm counting on it whatever you got me you can return no no after everything you didn't do for me night I want you to have it what's this read it Sheldon Cooper Caltech University employee information at the bottom in case of emergency please contact Amy Farah [Music] Fowler and there's my phone number this is the most beautiful gift you could have ever given me well I thought if I have a stroke or a kidney stone who would I want to share that with and you picked me it's like you said you're my girlfriend oh Sheldon yeah okay stop ruining Valentine's Day in order my pizza Amy Amy Amy Sheldon what are you doing here so late I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about what happened earlier between us also I had one heck of a bus nap oh speaking of which do you want some mutton and coconut milk no boy I cannot give this stuff away what do you want Amy this isn't easy to say all relationships are difficult but even more so when you're in one with a person who struggles with everyday social interactions and frankly who can strike some people as being kind of a weirdo Sheldon you're not a weirdo I wasn't speaking about me I mean honestly there's no telling what will set you off you know introducing myself as your boyfriend giving you the opportunity to drive me home breaking the ice with your colleagues using ethnic humor It's the funniest kind of humor what's your point my point is we're a couple and I like you for who you are quirks and all I like you too I should hope so I don't see anyone else banging on this door to put up with your nonsense not even a goodbye you see that's the kind of thing that makes people think you're weird entree tonight's special is AC sefood risotto do you have any questions yeah uh I do uh does this train car have the original lincol pin coupler or the Miller hook and plat I'm sorry I met questions about the food oh of course um is the seafood risoto being served on a train car with the original Lin pin coupler or the Miller hooking platform I think we're going to need a minute fun fact it's neither they actually use the a a Type e coupler if you listen carefully when the locomotive disconnects you'll hear the characteristic click thunk of the knuckle get out of town do another one do another one okay here's my impression of the amtr Cella barreling down the Eastern Corridor it's like there's a train in your mouth how many trains have you been on tons a box fell on my head at UPS 6 years ago now I just collect disability and ride trains wow your life's amazing not always a box fell on my head at UPS 6 years ago now I just collect disability and ride trains excuse me you are at Valentine's dinner with your girlfriend now get back over there and be with her you're right that was insensitive of me I have to go back to my table now you should join us all right great now there's two of them hold on your conductor's hat you crank the second and third axles creating a pair of internal connecting rods and boom 4104 if you think about it the Q2 was like the 4104 America never made I may never stop thinking about it Amy what are the odds we run into this guy better than you think you know if you ask nicely they'll let you visit the engine room I never want this day to end it's feeling like it never will come on hey did I tell you what happened to me at UPS I love you so much I love you [Laughter] too sorry you guys missed a pretty great time the conductor and I have the same pocket watch it was crazy dare I say loco oh and Amy guess what the conductor said as soon as he gets off work he can come back to the bed and breakfast and play his banjo for us okay I I need to speak to my boyfriend in private like right now it's go why are you still here excuse me I think you're being a little rude I'm being rude you've been rude to me this entire evening how is that possible I've hardly spoken to you since we got on the train I'm detecting a little friction between you two and I don't want to be a third rail get it I get it leave what is your problem it's Valentine day we're supposed to be having a romantic weekend oh really because I remember you saying that this trip was going to be something we could both enjoy did you mean that or were you just trying to trick me fine it's true I deserve romance and I didn't know how else to make it happen well if you want romance then let's have romance oh look there's wine M grape juice that burns uh now let's gaze into each other's eyes you blinked I win let's see what's next oh kissing's [Applause] romantic that was nice good um the conductor said if I come back to the engine room he'd show me how to bring the train through a Crossing okay have fun do you want to come with me really I do hey guys wait up there's something else I've been wanting to say but before I do I just I want you to know that you don't have to say it back I know you're not ready and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates I love you too you said it there's no denying I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite but that seems even more far-fetched [Laughter] the only conclusion was love I know what's happening this is a panic attack soccer mom 9 says to lie down with your feet elevated okay who whoa whoa whoa just because I love you doesn't mean girls are allowed in my room oh good you're back we have some exciting news Okay as you know Amy and I have been together a long time and a lot of things I never thought possible now seem possible okay after a careful evaluation of our relationship we decided that the time was right to take a step forward okay do you want to say it let's say it together we're getting a turtle this is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on Ice sarcasm yes that was tricky because when it comes to alcohol she generally means business well we're we're very happy for you thank you acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us no it's true it means that we care so much about each other there's enough left over for an 8 oce reptile why a turtle after much deliberation we've determined that a turtle is the ideal pet they don't shed fur uh they don't make noise for Halloween we can dress them as a cobblestone yeah and if he ever goes berserk I know I can outrun him coincidentally that's also why I chose you as a roommate well congratulations who would have thought you two' be the first in our group to start a family that's what I said hello hello listen I've been thinking a lot about relationships and how difficult they can be and I think I've been thinking about them too Sheldon being your girlfriend is so challenging emotionally physically I've been incredibly patient for years strongly disagree go on okay well this isn't easy to say because I love you but I need some time to take a step back and re-evaluate our situation oh I hope you understand okay bye Sheldon well Gollum you're an expert on rings what do I do with this one what are you doing here I'm here to return your belongings that's what people who've broken up do and you didn't do your compulsive knocking ritual so I would open the door on the contrary you no longer get to enjoy my charming eccentricities we're not friends with benefits just give me the Box wa wait don't you want to go through it to make sure I haven't forgotten anything fine my old scarf you wore the night we went ice skating remember you mean the night that I went ice skating and you stood at the rail Googling the symptoms of hypothermia we made one heck of a team huh whose bra is this it's not yours oh my but how embarrassing for both of us it's pennies hey you broke up with me it is none of your business whose naked bosom I'm smooshing around like pizza dough goodbye Amy Amy Amy tables work too good to know Amy there was a song I couldn't get out of my head eventually I realized the song was about you and like that earworm I can't get you out of my heart so what I'm trying to say is you're my heartworm the metaphorical kind not not the poodle killing kind what if I may I believe what he's saying in a charming and delightful way is that he loves you and wants you back Dave Gibbs huge fan of your work don't mind me I'm I'm sorry I didn't realize you were on a date no it it it's okay keep going Amy if you want to be my girlfriend again I really want to be your boyfriend I really want that too good because I love you I love you too kiss her you brilliant fool why are you shaking are you cold I'm just um really nervous why well I've been waiting for this for so long just built it up in my head I don't know what to expect neither do I but we can find out together okay [Music] well I enjoyed that more than I thought I would me too I look forward to your next birthday when we do it again that works for why do you have a storage unit just wait how long have you had it just wait do you want me to hold that computer just wait you know what actually yes thank you welcome to my Fortress of Shame I'm sorry what what am I looking at it's basically everything I've ever owned um every book every t-shirt every piece of broken Electronics just all of it all of it I have a Ziploc bag filled with all my old Ziploc bags okay well I would like to tell you that there is nothing here to be ashamed of so I'm going to need a minute which side of the bed would you prefer it doesn't matter to me your choice no no we're living together now everything's equal no I know that I have a tendency to be controlling so I would rather you choose well Sheldon I really appreciate that but these things mean more to you than they do to me so whatever you want well clearly it's not whatever I want because what I want is for you to make this decision and you refuse to do that I'm not refusing I'm just trying to be considerate but like when you let me get those shoes with the wheels on the bottom and then watch me roll right into traffic Char will you please just pick aide fine now on this side I am closer to the exit in case of emergency great that's your side no but I'm also closer to the entrance in case of attack okay I'll take that side ah then again what are the odds of someone attacking Rising rapidly now this side offers me proximity to the bathroom but I am close to the window where perverts can watch me sleep okay what if we do this I suppose that works great although now I'm kind of worried someone's hiding behind those drapes Amy you should know I was never really interested in seeing other women and to prove how serious I am about us I'm willing to take our relationship to the next level Amy Fowler will you share this toothbrush holder with me I would love to did we really need to be here for this call me crazy but I found it moving please stop trying to seduce me who's trying to seduce you after a long day I always turn on smooth jazz and spray deer musk on my inner thighs thought it smelled like a petting zoo in here anything you'd like to pet not my hair there's a lot of goop in it okay I've had enough what Amy come back I don't know how to open the oyster so were you turned on even a little bit it was like being hit on by ratpack PeeWee Herman I'm sorry is that a yes no Amy I didn't want it to come to this but you have left me no choice but to employ the most passionate seductive dance known to man The Flamingo [Applause] [Applause] for God's sake you're [Music] ridiculous well you guys are aroused right I was a close one I'm sorry you were embarrassed and now I understand that some things are just between you and me and in the event of redness and swelling Dr Fink what's that little dot in the middle that's reserved for thoughts I don't share with anyone interesting you really have secrets you don't tell me of course can I hear one no they're private why are they naughty a little please fine two years ago I got my driver's license what why didn't you say anything I like being chauffeured around it makes me feel important so when I got up at 4:00 a.m. to drive you across the desert to an antique Train Museum I didn't have to no you didn't I you keep in mind I felt extremely important go to the bedroom remove our clothes fold them neatly and engage in Fred love making what if we don't fold our clothes at all I or what if we fold them well here's your keyb thank you uh as soon as I have the place set up I'm going to have you guys over no we would love that I really can't thank you enough for taking me in you know I was at a pretty low place in my life oh Amy you naughty Vixen anyway uh as I was saying I was at a pretty low place in my life and uh if it wasn't for friends like you my goodness that form of stimulation is highly efficient I can't compete with that bye should we give them their privacy I want to but I don't think I can whoopy okay I'm good now Princeton has a beautiful campus yeah I've learned some fun facts about New Jersey to help you make small talk would you like to know the state bird or the murder rate they're both shocking actually I want to hear about you how are things at home well I'm a lot less likely to see an Eastern goldf or be murdered I'll tell you that I miss you I miss you too it's so strange earlier today I ended a sentence with a preposition and you weren't there to correct my grammar I am sorry you had to go through that in fact that's when I started to really miss you you know you just split an infinitive did I are you going to teach me a lesson I am it is naughty to put an adverb between the word two and the verb stem what are you going to do about it I'm going going to admonish you vigorously that's the only kind of admonishing I do are you seeking a romantic relationship with me what if I were well that would raise a number of problems we're colleagues I'm currently in a relation excuse me a moment you [Music] [Music] Amy Amy [Music] Amy will you marry me Amy you're up next decision come on first Dance come on first dance invitations that's a good one hey just a suggestion hologram projected out of R2-D2 thanks for your input but this is my decision and I'm going to go with Old English calligraphy on Egyptian Papyrus what a fun mash up it's like the chicken and waffles of orthography your turn ring bearer boy I'm so glad that R2-D2 is still available you know this is really fun I can't believe that people say that planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things in life I know you're not a day goes by that I don't Marvel how much better we are than other people Cooper Fowler you're up can you believe it we're about to walk in that door Dr Cooper and Dr Fowler and walk out as AER married couple Dr Cooper and Dr Fowler wait I want to have a first dance with you right here at our wedding this is our wedding no I want a real wedding Sheldon it was just making us fight I know but Amy I never thought I'd want to marry anyone so the fact that I found you is astonishing it's like finding Dark Matter except they're looking for dark matter I wasn't even looking for you so so you're even better than dark matter Sheldon plus plus you interact with light so I can see you and also you don't account for the missing mass in the universe oh and I think you're getting caught up on the ways I'm not like dark matter right sorry but when you make a discovery like this you don't just take it down to City Hall you tell the whole world and so I'll say it in Latin or Klingon or or smoke signals if if that's not cultural appropriation it is okay so not smoke signals but I want to do this right me too let's go plan a wedding are you having an allergic reaction to my botin ear no I'm just so happy for you and for me after today you are officially and more important legally Amy's problem don't be silly Leonard I will always be your problem hey baby hello mother Leonard could you give us a moment oh of course oh shell I wish your dad could see you now me too I miss him he would be so proud of you I know that I am thank you I mean for everything my whole life let me straighten your time no no no it's all right it's supposed to be a little asymmetrical apparently a small flaw somehow improves it I can see that sometimes it's the imperfect stuff that makes things perfect excuse me case in point Amy Amy Amy come in there's something I need to tell you wow you look amazing that's not what I need to tell you but you do what's wrong something incredible just happened remember when you were telling me about my boat Tha and how a little asymmetry is good yeah my equations have been trying to describe an imperfect world and the only way to do that is to introduce imperfection into the underlying Theory so instead of super symmetry it would be super asymmetry super asymmetry that's it give me your lipstick what just give it to me a beautiful thing we have work to do according to Google there are zero papers that mention super isymmetry this is Brad new no one's thought of it what are you lunatics doing Sheldon had a breakthrough well actually Amy and I had a breakthrough oh science a shocking you don't understand this could be really big no Penny's right we have our whole lives to do science together let's get married all right it's go time I am pumped good morning wife good morning husband I can't believe we're actually married it's official according to tradition we should hang the bed sheets outside so the villagers can see that we consummated I don't think that that's appropriate considering where we're starting our honeymoon well I suppose you're right although when you think about it Lego is the perfect metaphor from marital Congress two pieces that interlock with a satisfying snap oh that's the sound you were making oh I almost forgot while you were sleeping I ordered room service really voila you thought it was going to be food didn't you hello hello I brought you two hot dogs aren't you going to eat one from a street cart are you crazy I'm amazed that I'm holding them I'm not really hungry you realize that I'm not a particularly physical person I know now when I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I'd always say a brain in a jar sure yeah but I want to be a good husband to you and intimacy is a part of that please put those down I'm just worried that if I don't schedule our bedroom Endeavors then I may not think about them and you'll grow cold and distant and seek solace in the arms of a heavily muscled long shoreman where would I find a long shoreman along the shore it's in the name Sheldon I could never be with anybody but you that's good to know I wouldn't want to fight a man who's brave enough to touch a fish how's this for a compromise make all the schedules you want just don't tell me about them excellent I'll create an algorithm that'll generate a pseudo random schedule and do you know why it won't be a true random schedule because the generation of true random numbers remains an unsolved problem in computer science come with me where are we going to the hotel room and when we get there I'm going to need you to say that again except naked spending time with Michael and hiy today really made me think about our future children huh what an interesting and completely unforeseen development what are you thinking well I just can't decide either five sets of triplets or three sets of quintuplets you know what it doesn't matter as long as they're healthy and divisible by three that's a lot of babies sheld it oh only for humans for frogs it's just a drop in the bucket well sorry I'm not a frog oh don't feel bad Amy you're good enough for me [Music]

Channel: Big Bang Theory

Views: 144,942

Keywords: Comedy, TV, Funny, The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon, Penny, Leonard, Laughing, Warner Bros.

Id: PxbS6w7RNqY

Length: 47min 35sec (2855 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 22 2024