Trump’s Mad at Jimmy AGAIN, Right Wing’s Nuttiest Republicans Gather & MyPillow Mike Falling Apart

Jimmy on the host thank you for watching thank you for joining us I'm glad you did you picked a good night to be here that's for sure can you can you feel the atomic energy in the room cuz all the way from Los Alamos the Oscar nominated cast of Oppenheimer is here Killian Murphy Emily Blunt and Robert Downey Jr are with us and don't worry they left the nuclear waste known as Matt Damon at home he will not be here tonight [Applause] age I we don't just let anyone in here this isn't a Duncan commercial you know in Washington DC our worst and dimmest are gathered for the annual CPAC convention CPAC for those who don't know is a meeting of the right-wing nuttiest Republicans in the country remember in Ghostbusters when all the Slime was running to one building basically that it's a who's who of who won't accept the results of the election and the speakers every year standard collection of Roger stones and sloppy Steves and flat earthers and whatnot with a few foreign dictators and accused sexual predators sprinkled in but the bigly Nam today the headliner was Trump's daughter-in-law Lara who's running for chairperson of the RNC and really has a way with the English language never forget ladies and gentlemen that it is always darkest before the dawn d n darkest before the dawn see what I did yeah yeah yeah yeah they don't but we do we got it anyway go on I want my son to be proud of who he is I want him to know that it's okay to be a patriot it's okay to love God and it is okay to grow up into a strong masculine man that's right strong masculine man just like Daddy is I mean just like look at the rack on that dude every night Eric and I have a tradition we stop whatever we have going on and we go do bedtime with the kids and why while they say their prayers and the pledge of allegiance of course what what a sweet memory for your children to share with their therapist years from now it sounds like something that would give you away as a foreign agent like then we do prayers and pledge good allegiance to American flag all right Boris you're coming with us but that the trumps every night they brush the children's teeth with hot dogs and they read them the lyrics to Kid Rocks bow a and uh they go to bed they sleep like babies speaking of bedtime Dr Ben Carson was at CPAC today while peaceful pro-life protesters and patriotic grandmothers who walk into the capital on January 6 are facing a decade or more in prison the think about that think about [Applause] that that's his famous I'm in a Dream speech they should put his face on a box of sleepy time tea you know it's not only is CPAC a chance for people in red white and blue tracksuits to see their favorite con artist in person it's also a chance to learn at seminars run by the best in the business ladies and gentlemen up next putting our heads in the gas stove please welcome former administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency Andrew wheeler that's a real title of a session putting our heads in the gas stove people signed up to see that there were a lot of weird discussions at this convention when we thought it might be fun to see if you could tell the real ones from the fake it's time to play real or fake CPAC session okay I'm going to read the name of a panel you guess if it is real or fake are you ready real or fake CPAC session would Moses go to Harvard all right we're most say real and it is uh real it is real all right straight white Extinction Is that real or fake all right let's see that is oh that one is fake we try another what you talking about Willis most everyone says fake that is [Applause] real Tinkerbell culture our fairy tales making our kids fairies real all right well sorry that one is actually fake but um illegally blonde real or fake real that is real cat fight Michelle versus K real or fake oh you say it's fake do you well guess what it's real and finally Jagged Little pillow the rise of Mike Lindell real or fake that is indeed fake and we're going to get back to Mike in a minute because he might be in more trouble than Donald Trump right now although Donald Trump his magesty is scheduled to be the headliner at CPAC on Saturday last night they showed part two of Trump's Fox News Town Hall during which he was asked about the notable absence of his future ex-wife Melania on the campaign Trail she loves the country you know when I do rallies I have so many signs we love our first lady the people love her they love the fact that she's not out there so much you know a lot of first ladies we go out to they want to be everywhere they get angry at their husband because he's not introducing them if I didn't introduce Milani should be very happy about it in other words you will not be seeing Melania anytime soon I actually got a shout out from Donald Trump today you know every time I do an interview now people ask me how much longer I'm going to do the show and I was talking to the LA times and I I said I didn't know if I would go beyond I have a contract for another two years if I would go beyond that and this apparently caught the attention of America's most famous Tangerine who truth they could get a far more talented person who would also get better ratings for 5% of what they are paying this loser with a capital L and I got to say that is a hell of a way to find out you're not going to be somebody's running mate because it is uh he has really and I hope he never finds out he has no idea how delighted I am by something like this I'm going to try to enjoy it because you know he probably won't be able to do this when they take away his phone in prison so I'm I'm going to really like soak it in meanwhile President Biden touchdown in San Francisco last night and um everyone hold your breath [Applause] there we go all right every time every time I watch him go down a flight of stairs I get that same anxiety you get when you're like watching your kid trying to catch a pop fly uh Biden by the way just canceled another $1.2 billion in student loan debt which is a huge huge number especially for someone who went to college when tuition cost a sack of onions but um the big story about Biden today is about his dog have you heard about this according to CN and this is not a woo type of situation Joe Biden's German Shepherd Commander was involved in a far more biting incidents than was previously reported turns out Commander bit Secret Service agents 24 times which I mean even OJ only struck twice 24 times is a lot are you sure this was the dog and not Hunter turning into a werewolf because since Biden became president there have been 24 full moons you know it got so bad they had to send the dog to live with other members of the family it's not at the White House anymore you know the Trump Administration actually had to deal with a similar thing after multiple staff members reported being bitten on and about the by Rudy Giuliani they had to send him away they had to put an extra lock on his coffin just to be safe you know our old pillow pal Mike Lindell is having an terrible Black History Month he is it's all kind of Fallen apart for Mike and he even claims his autobiography is being banned do you know my book is banned in every bookstore in the country no I didn't know that but I thought you guys were for Banning books which isn't it's confusing this memo of his has it's been out since 2019 so it wouldn't make much sense if it was in bookstores it's 5 years old it wasn't exactly the the Vinci Code but the vend diagram of people who are a interested in Mich Lindell and B know how to read it's a pretty small inter fact might only be one person and that person is me because I read his book cover to cover it by the way pretty good pretty interesting I like that and then there's the ill-advised contest he ran do you remember the prove Mike wrong Challenge three years ago he offered $5 million to anyone who could definitively prove that he was wrong about Chinese interference in the 2020 election of course somebody did it almost immediately God was like yeah I got a free half hour and he he proved it and now Mike has been ordered to pay him the 5 million bucks they're trying to put Trump you and Rudy in bankruptcy well you might all see the news this morning uh they another uh ruling came out of Minnesota against me $5 million which uh well we got to go to another appeal and a big distraction waste more money and poor Mike he still Can't Believe It's Not Butter he's that adamant about his beliefs the ruling was handed down by Judge John tunheim who's a very well-respected judge he got his law degree from uh Jiffy Pop haircut University Not only was it a blow to Mike financially it also doesn't bode well for his new prove there ain't a little man inside the ATM handing out the money contest and yet still Mike's out there screaming about the machines and promoting fellow election deniers like well like this guy who's running for congress in Arizona damn darn birds are so darn angry howy I'm Mike Lindell Patriot entrepreneur and owner of a boat that's got ransacked nine times by Minnesota game wardens Blake Masters is an author a scholar and a real man who ain't afraid to tell a woman to shutter Yap about equal pay thanks TT hey and a slice of lemon merang too it's the Forbidden pie anyway old BM is a heck of a good one he's even endorsed by Donald Trump a man I love even though I am no longer allowed to get within 500 ft of Bas ain't afraid to take the hard sight of an issue which is why he bravely supports the Russian president Voldemort Putin taking back Ukraine but where me and Blake really sees eye to ey is when he says a Unabomber Ted kransky was an underrated genius I'm a big fan of that guy's Manifesto read it every time I'm driving Ted didn't trust the government and hated machines just like me so vote for blank McMaster baers and join the fight against gays marrying our kids and paying lady broads like a man worker where's that d waitress with the paid for by the commission to keep Arizona a punchline forever Mor I'm Blake Masters and I approved this message sir I love [Applause] you

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 2,539,656

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, Oppenheimer Cast, CPAC, Republicans, Democrats, Lara Trump, Trump, Donald Trump, Eric Trump, Ben Carson, Gas Stoves, Real or Fake, Joe Biden, Student Debt, German Shepard, Commander the Dog, Mike Lindell, Mypillow, Blake Masters

Id: 9pbTL5Xf3a4

Length: 12min 8sec (728 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 23 2024