Trump Is A Convicted Felon | I Didn't Say "Lock Her Up" | Rupert Murdoch Marries At 93

thank you one and all and welcome ladies and gentlemen to The Late Show I'm your host Steven coar and I have to tell you that I'll be the first to say this is a great job and I love doing it I get to come out here every night and feel at you about the news of course the news being what it is sometimes I don't feel so great but tonight I feel good because thank you was he here was James Brown just here because on Thursday evening Donald Trump was found guilty on all 34 counts in his hush money taste yeah there you go yes yes I agree this is truly an historic moment as Donald Trump becomes the first US president convicted of a crime although once they almost nailed Martin Van Beren for hotwiring a horse let's go back come back with me now ladies and gentlemen to that fateful moment Thursday it was late afternoon and everyone assumed they'd be adjourning for the day it was almost 4:30 Trump was feeling loose believing a longer deliberation meant good news for him then suddenly the foreman sent the judge a note that they had come to a verdict and in an instant The Smiling stopped a smattering of gasps could be heard heard then a heavy silence filled the room and and because it's trump it was silence but deadly after 11 hours of deliberation the jury announced their verdict and now the judge has scheduled Trump sentencing for July 11th now that's that's going to be a really busy time for convic felon Donald Trump because the 11th is Just 4 days before the Republican National Convention and reportedly top Republicans are preparing for the possibility that Trump could be in prison when he accepts the nomination that's right you got to be prepared you got to be prepared that's right it's going to be the RNC live from Cell Block B with a keynote speech from his Warden his cellmate spider that one guard who smug in cell phones up his butt and for the cocktail hour enjoy complimentary toilet wine now the problem is the uh July 11th is is a whole 38 days away that is so long so I guess I'll just have to pass the time with my countdown to sentencing Advent calendar there we go got all 38 got all 38 days here judge merchan judge marchan like that okay today is day one I'll open that up there you go don't go too far dad is drink burns the day after convicted felon Donald Trump was convicted of his felonies he staged his own mini meltdown in the lobby of Trump Tower this is uh a case where if they can do this to me they can do this to anyone it's true no it is true just think about that if it could happen to him it could happen to anyone who commits crimes no matter who they are come on do you realize it doesn't matter who you are I just I mean just just because there's amp evidence and a jury believes that anyone could now be found guilty do we really want to live in an America where the law is applied equally regardless of how rich you are because if that happens cuz if that happens ladies and gentlemen no you think about this shut up listen we not be facing a situation where if you can't do the time and I can't believe I'm saying this don't do the crime don't do it massively convicted felon Donald felon Trump also complained about the judge who oversaw the trial where he was convicted you saw what happened to some of the witnesses that were on our side they were literally crucified by this man who looks like an angel but he's really a devil he looks so nice and soft nice nice and soft does he think of the of the Pillsbury Dough Boy he looks like a delicious Angel but his cans are full of lies he says no folks he says this is eight cinnamon rolls but there's only enough icing for three of them it's it's the work of Satan now the people at Cinnabon they're absolute Saints the ex president and current felon also gave this Bonkers reason for not taking the stand now I would have testified I wanted to testify but the judge allowed them to go into everything that I was ever involved in in other words you could go into every single thing that I ever did was he a bad boy here was he a bad boy there here a bad there a bad everywhere a sad bad bad boy Donald chicken Pal give me chicken give me chicken Palm too high convicted felon Trump also did an interview over on the Fox News news where he told an insane lie about his 2016 campaign you famously said regarding Hillary Clinton Locker up Hillary Clint I didn't say locker up but the people would all say lock her up Locker up the people said Locker up that was your whole campaign stop it we remember we were there it's like if ARB said we never said we have the meats the people said we have the meats also if you didn't say it then who's this dingus they should lock her up lock her up is Right lock up Hillary folks I was talking about Hillary Swank okay no baby is worth a million dollars Trump was also asked about this upcoming uh sentencing the judge could decide to say hey house arrest or even jail how do you face what that could I'm okay with it I don't know that the public would stand it you know I don't I'm not sure the public would stand for it I think it would be tough for the public to take oh it would be tough for for the public actually I happen to have a large number of the public here hey public what do you all think of trump going to jail it [Applause] it ladies and gentlemen there you have it I didn't say lock him up the people said lock him up these folks in here are not alone because according to a new poll 50% of Voters believe Trump is guilty 30% say he's innocent and 19% are not sure cuz they're too busy eating delicious paint chips in another poll 51% Trump should end his presidential campaign and that's that's interesting I don't know if it's going to happen but we have a preview of what that might look [Music] like bye-bye oh also worth noting according to the ABC ipsos Little Debbie Swiss roll poll 51% of Voters think Trump intentionally did something illegal while 12% think Trump did something wrong but not intentionally it was a total accident folks my penis slipped and fell down a flight of porn stars [Laughter] so like a little slinky when porn porn porn porn porn that's the sound it me it went porn porn porn porn porn so what's next well uh for for Donald Trump a lot of bad things first before he sentenced the convict in Chief has to report to the New York City Department of Probation for an interview about his background his mental health and the circumstances of his case we already know how that's going to go good news everybody I took the mental health test and it came back negative they'd never seen so little once he's sentenced Trump could go to jail for up to 4 years if judge merchan chooses not to send Trump to jail he could sentence him to community service like removing graffiti that's great because there's a huge graffiti problem here in New York City and someone has written a filthy word on a whole lot of buildings got to remove those wow got to take that's got to come off I mean kids could see that little children could see that Trump could also choose to do private community service at a nonprofit of his choosing oh I specialize in nonprofit uh Trump casino Trump Stakes Trump University I promise you none of them made a profit now despite their candidate kind of one day back where's the ACT where's the impression despite their candidate being a convicted felon the Maga faithful remain Faithfully magga outside of the courthouse last week we heard the wishful thinking that Trump would success ful appeal the conviction predicted by a man with a white beard who gave his information only as hungry Santa hungry Santa is of course a Maga specific stain Nick whose sigh is also Guided by a red-nosed Rudolph Trump isn't the only Trump is not the only old nut sack in the news there's also former Fox chairman and gu sculpted from 100% elbow skin rert Murdoch at the ripe age of 93 rupe has found love again because over the weekend he married his fifth wife Elena zukova it was the world's first open casket wedding we got a great show Fe tonight my guests are Alicia Keys and Sten Merchant and when we come back I have an exclusive interview with one of the Trump jurors stick around oh [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 780,740

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: SLBAoyjv-ro

Length: 11min 46sec (706 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 04 2024