Donald and Melania Trump: A Love Story for the Ages | The Daily Social Distancing Show

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] last week was president trump's first international trip instead of his visits and uh looking at the effects on u.s israel relations everyone was focused on donald melania relations the thing that got an enormous amount of media attention had to do with melania trump the first lady and some video was this an actual slap or did she just pull her hand away she pulled her hand away but i didn't quite see the contact of a slap wow leave it to fox news not to recognize what rejection from a woman looks like she she she slapped his hand away which probably means she wants a promotion first right now on the next leg of trump's trip which took him to the vatican trump's hands really couldn't catch a break because this time the first lady gave him the old down low too slow which made me wonder like when you watch that do you think maybe melania is jealous maybe that's what this was about oh now you want to hold hands donald you sure you wouldn't rather be holding that orb i remember when you used to touch me like the orb donald i told you melania me and the orb was a one-time thing the orb means roughing to me means nothing i was barely hard [Applause] [Music] normally when trump has a bad day we know trump watches fox and friends and yells at the tv but today he did the same thing but we all got to listen in and you could tell from the start that this was going to be special thank you so much for being with us mr president well good morning and i picked a very very special day because it's melania's birthday so i said let's do it on melania's birthday so happy birthday to melania all right hopefully there'll be visits in between but have you decided on or do you want to tell us what you got her well i better not get into that because i may get in trouble maybe i didn't get her so much i'll tell you what she has done i got her a beautiful card how did trump mess up the world's easiest question it's like they threw him a softball and he swung and hid himself in the dick and i mean it's her birthday i can't believe that donald didn't get melania anything for her birthday now she might think he's not a very good husband also i would pay anything to know what he wrote inside that card that he definitely didn't actually get like roses are red love is a mystery i had a historic electoral college victory why did trump say he called into fox and friends because it was melania's birthday like what does that mean he's like honey i've got a great celebration planned for us today i'm gonna talk to some tv people while sitting on the toilet like oh thank you donald my life is a beautiful dream [Applause] [Music] i know a lot of people think we here at the daily show are nothing but haters when it comes to the white house but that's not true i've always been a fan of melania trump you know as a fellow immigrant she inspires me because i know that i can never become president of the united states but if i work hard i might become first lady so she's my role model which is why today melania trump is in my thoughts first lady melania trump is hospitalized tonight after undergoing a surgical procedure on her kidney the white house saying the procedure was for a benign condition and that there were no complications president trump tonight visiting his wife who's expected to remain at the military hospital for the rest of the week they're saying that they want to go ahead and keep her for a week which is unusual in the case like this but it could be because she's the first lady and they just want to pay extra attention yeah she's staying an extra week i feel like after a couple of hours the doctor told her she could go home and melania was like no i should stay i should stay until you check everything out i stay longer i was like okay well miss first lady since we're keeping you longer your husband is on his way to visit okay pull the plug we've tried everything pull the plug it's like you're not on life support i don't care just try it see what happens what's wild about the story is look at these two people how is she the one with the health issue how i mean trump's blood type is kfc positive he does not live a healthy life at a rally last week trump vowed to fight for the rights of the lgbq community you know the weirdest part about this whole melania thing is she went into the hospital it was supposed to be like a two-day thing then she was there for a week then it was two weeks then we didn't see her and then now it's three weeks and then they announced that maybe we'll see her at the end of june i don't know what that means what was even stranger was that trump was he was walking out of the the white house and then he was being interviewed by the press gaggle and then someone said like where's melania and he was like oh she's spying she's looking at us right now and he points it at a window and then all the press turned and there was no one there and then he just walked away and i was just like is is this like a real thing is this like he almost said it like he's being haunted by melania like he sees a ghost that no one else sees but he's like so dumb that he doesn't know he's being haunted because i feel like trump would be that kind of guy he's so like self-absorbed that he wouldn't even know that he's being haunted like the ghost would be there and be like [Music] there'll be like little kids riding bicycles in the white house and he'd be like baron your friends are here do you guys know about my electoral college victory like the lady from the ring would come out of the tv and then trump would grope her and she'd go back in [Applause] like she'd like testify in front of [Applause] congress melania is leaving donald trump behind in washington to go visit africa first lady melania trump leaves on a week-long four nation tour of africa today it will be her first extended international journey without the president she'll visit ghana malawi kenya and egypt i'm so proud of the work this administration is doing through usaid and others and look forward to the opportunity to take the message of my be best campaign to many of the countries and children throughout africa oh man this is so sweet of melania she's going to africa to fight cyber bullying the only issue is that most people in africa are still waiting to get cyber so i mean and and by the way by the way if you're paying attention you'll realize this is yet another instance of the first lady publicly undermining her husband's message right he said lebron is dumb she praised lebron and offered to visit his school he called african country shitholes she chose africa for her first solo trip yeah he roots for the yankees she roots for heart disease you see what's happening here anyway good luck on your trip melania uh i just hope the clothes the kids are wearing aren't too awkward for you [Applause] there's a wardrobe malfunction that's blowing up the news breaking news melania trump making a surprise visit to children at the border but did she hurt the message she was trying to send with an unfortunate wardrobe choice the first lady wearing a jacket bearing the words i really don't care do you wow i really don't care do you wow it looks like when melania was in the hospital she had her last removed although although it is kind of sweet that she made a jacket out of her and donald's wedding vows that's really cool i like that now look we we could spend forever talking about how out of touch this makes melania seem but i don't really care do you you know melania trump with her outfits when she goes to visit people i like i don't know which way it is because i mean like everyone has different theories some people think you know because she said i'm going to the border to see what the real story is with the with the migrant children uh you know the the immigrants that have come in and they're locked up and i was like oh that's really sweet she's going to go and like you know shed her lights on it and then she throws on a jacket that says i don't really care do you and then part of me was going like oh maybe she didn't pay attention she just you know it's tone deaf she didn't think about it and then her spokesperson was like hey no there's no hidden message it was like we just didn't think of it sorry about that and then trump came out and tweeted and he's like that jacket was about the fake news melania's showing that she doesn't care and it's like she just said there's no hidden message and he's like hidden message he's like what are you like i'm not gonna lie when i see things like this it genuinely makes me believe that donald trump didn't collude with russia because i think he would have told us by now i i'm gonna put it out there i i do believe i do believe we're gonna find out people around him tried to collude but i think he would have he tells us everything he just came out he told us why he fired james comey he tells every single secret i don't think he'd be able to keep it in he'd like at some point he would have been like and that's why i concluded they came to me i said let's do it i said let's do it [Music] [Applause] melania trump you know those movies where uh the beautiful but mysterious woman with a foreign accent is actually a secret assassin well maybe we should have seen this coming a dramatic move by melania trump that apparently blindsided top white house aides melania trump's office releasing a statement publicly blasting a national security official the first lady called for deputy national security adviser mira riccardell to be fired complaining directly to her husband about being unhappy with her cardel during her first solo trip to africa in october the two fought over seating on the plane and using national security council resources for the trip the first lady's office issued a statement saying she no longer deserves the honor of serving in this white house sweet lord melania does not mess around we barely hear from her and then when she does speak it's to fire somebody and like whatever this lady did must have made melania so mad because you realize trump cheats on her and she's pretty chill about it but then melania goes on a flight and all of a sudden she's all like [ __ ] took aisle seats [Applause] and like honestly i don't even know who this is mira ricardelle who is this person that they're firing like they're running out of people we know to fire this is like walking dead season six oh no they killed derek [Applause] [Music] there's actually some fake news that is plaguing the president right now it's about melania the fake melania conspiracy is back after the first lady's visit to alabama and georgia this week the theory that melania trump had a body double for public appearances began in 2017 that was denied by fact checkers now though again twitter users are comparing this to other images arguing it's not the same woman but many also commenting lighting and makeup are likely causes for the mistaken identity how is this on the news how is this even a thing of course melania looks a little different on some days right she's a person every person looks different day to day this was me like two months ago okay this was me three years ago all right this was me yesterday when i found out jlo is engaged okay i look different i look different because clearly i'm so happy for her and like the 20th best yankee i'm very happy i'll be fine i'll be fine i just i wanted a-rod for myself so please guys let's stop with this whole fake melania business all right because it's not true although i will say this if you do zoom in on that picture there is something a little suspicious and that is that they're holding hands so on second thought maybe fake melania [Music] [Applause] while her husband has struggled to get his approval rating over 40 percent melania has consistently remained the country's most popular trump and personally i love her too because we have so much in common we're both immigrants neither of us would be here if it weren't for donald trump and i'm just going to put it out there we're both style icons yeah yeah yeah that's right melania this bish stole your look now now the reason i've been thinking about melania lately is because in the wake of trump's recent immigration crackdown i've started to notice something that's got me really concerned i think donald trump is trying to deport melania no and you might be asking why would he want to deport his wife i don't know i don't know but things haven't exactly been perfect between them first of all it's no secret that melania barely spends any time at the white house secondly when he try to hold her hand in public she try to slap it away like a slovenian dikembe mutombo you remember that and who knows it may have even created some tension between them when trump allegedly banged the porn star and paid her to be quiet and then the whole country found out about it any you know normal relationship issues and i know it sounds crazy donald trump wants to deport his wife but but if you look at all of trump's immigration policies right a lot of people think that he just hates immigrants but when you put them all together you start to notice a patent all of his policies seem to be aimed at his wife for example one of the immigration issues trump complains about most is people who come to the united states the wrong way and work in the country illegally and everyone always assumes that because he's racist he's talking about mexicans but i don't think it's a coincidence that that same complaint could apply to his very own wife new questions about melania trump's immigration status when she first came to the u.s the associated press reporting she didn't have the proper visa for her modeling work i came here on visa i flew to slovenia every few months to stamp it and came back trump insists she got her visa stamped every few months if that's accurate it would mean she had a type of visa possibly a tourist visa that needs to be updated periodically but that type of visa does not allow working in the united states when this controversy first bubbled up the trump campaign promised that melania would have a press conference to clear it all up that press conference never happened that's right melania's staff promised that she would hold a press conference to clear up her questionable immigration history and then it never happened now to be fair it's only been three years since that promise was made okay and you guys don't even know how hard it is to throw together a press conference in three years like you you have to get a podium and and like that's pretty much it but still but still it seems a little convenient that trump would bring up the whole legal work thing when he knows his own wife has a shady visa history and clearly when that failed donald tried to switch things up because then he started complaining about how lots of foreigners are taking advantage of america's immigration system by claiming that they were special when in fact they were not now again people assumed trump was talking about indian computer programmers in silicon valley but if you follow the clues you realize this guy was actually slamming his wife the washington post reports that questions linger about how melania trump scored the so-called einstein visa to enter the united states when she was a model in 2001 she was granted a green card in the elite eb-1 program it's designed for academic researchers or people in other fields such as olympic athletes and oscar-winning actors granted to people who demonstrate sustained national and international acclaim and it's usually in the fields of arts business or in academic research now only 3 376 eb1 green cards were issued that year five went to people from slovenia yeah that's right melania got a green card through the einstein visa program which seems strange although i guess if you spend enough time standing next to donald anyone starts to look like einstein well almost anyone and you know you know guys the more you look at it the more it seems like donald trump is trying to deport his wife because who can forget one of his biggest anti-immigration crusades chain migration the president wants to reform the visa lottery system and end so-called chain migration then you have chain migration chain migration chain migration you come in and you bring your whole damn family a guy comes in and then you have to bring his aunt his uncle his father his grandfather his grandparents a single immigrant can bring in virtually unlimited numbers of distant relatives yes one of the things donald trump hates most about america's immigration policy is that immigrants families can come live with them in the us now even though donald trump says that i want my family back home watching the show to know that this is not true okay you cannot bring unlimited relatives to america do you guys hear me nan israel in fact the law even says that you guys can't crash on my couch and i'm actually not even in town that weekend that's what the law says uncle mangman now it was really slick for trump to make it seem like this thing was about uncles and aunts and cousins but clearly there was someone that he was actually aiming at all along president trump's in-laws slipping in and out of a manhattan federal building where they took the oath of u.s citizenship sources tell abc news that first lady melania trump sponsored her slovenian-born parents victor and amalia knobs taking advantage of the same policy president trump has denigrated as chain migration and vowed to end that's right melania trump helped her parents chain migrate to the u.s so that's what donald trump was trying to stop he was trying to try to turn his in-laws into outlaws yeah which is super hardcore and as if this wasn't enough evidence that donald trump is trying to deport his wife then how do you explain the new policy his administration announced this week huh they came out saying that immigrants who receive assistance from the government may not be allowed to stay in the united states well guess who lives in a free house provided by the united states melania trump i see what you're doing donald i see what you're doing and i'm not gonna let it happen in fact we're not gonna let this thing happen daily show fans join me now help me get the word out by tweeting don't deport melania because if this great immigrant is forced to leave this country then the united states can never truly be best [Music] [Applause] i was thinking i think it would be amazing if in some world melania divorces trump because of the porn star and then gets the white house in the divorce no because in my head i was like i was just playing it all out i would be like it would be the most amazing thing ever like i could see the movie in my head now you know like she has the white house he's at a motel six like just walking around without pants the whole day right and then like foreign leaders are coming to visit him so they have to go to the motel to visit him but they don't know like the prime minister like drives to the white house and then when they get there they're like where is the president melania's on the lawn she's like he doesn't live here anymore he doesn't live here no more he knows what he did you can find him at the motel he's like what do you mean the motel then they like drive to the motel and it's like one of those like florida project motels this is chaos people kids playing outside someone's fixing a car you know donald trump's up you know when the prime minister guess i was like are we at the right place he's like yeah he lives in 16b that's where he is 16b donald trump comes out come on in welcome to it this is my new home they're like telling the prime minister we're going to be sharing a room your bed is this one by the way you speak spanish right mr president yeah you do i need you to talk to my neighbor felipe he's always playing music felipe come meet the president of mexico tell him i don't like his loud music please i am a president you cannot ask me to translate for you are you saying you don't speak spanish no i do so then tell him what i said

Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Views: 7,039,332

Rating: 4.7886176 out of 5

Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics, daily show trump, trevor noah trump, trump, donald trump, trump administration, melania, melania trump, first lady, marriage, love, cheating, infidelity, love story

Id: qJVhGXSZO9Y

Length: 21min 59sec (1319 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 26 2020