Trump’s Disastrous Press Conference After Guilty Verdict & MAGA Nuts Kiss Ass with Cringey Tributes

thank you for watching thank you for joining us here in uh Los Angeles California where uh I don't know about you but we are still buzzing from uh well from the recreational cannabis and also from the verdict that was handed down so bigly and beautifully in New York City yesterday our one time commander and Thief scored the most guilty verdicts of any president ever he went 3 4 and0 topping the 1971-72 Lakers who won 33 in a row and Trump did it without Will Chamberlain or Jerry West he did it all by himself it was a day that will be written about in history books at for those of you watching uh in Florida history books are things you used to have at your schools before Ronda sandz was governor the victory was or the verdict was unanimous on all charges each juror received a thank you from the judge and uh Farm's gift basket mysteriously signed Melania T it was Melania was not in court when the verdict was read but she released a strong statement today posting about how much she loves and supports her husband no matter what the outcome of the trial was I'm kidding she didn't say anything said said nothing at all she was I she was nowhere to be found she was probably online buying a new summer hat I don't know there's still three other cases against Trump each one for more serious crimes this is like the lowest hanging mushroom of the group it and it does feel a little bit unsatisfying given the scope of how many brazenly illegal things this man has done that they would start by getting him for the it's is like if OJ had been convicted for speeding like do you know how fast we going in that bronos sir you know it's funny how things work in the upside down world we live in everything to them is a win every one of these trumpers now wants to play this like it's a good thing like it's great news that their candidate for president was convicted of 34 felonies the tributes to magat Teresa were flowing from great lines like uh this gentleman who proclaimed today was our George Floyd moment I don't know if is that good and at what point put that back up at what point into asking AI to generate an image of Donald Trump in cornrow do you say to yourself I should probably get back to work here's another one from Trump's longtime advisor and fellow felon Roger Stone the only thing Trump is guilty of is being the greatest president since Abraham Lincoln oh and 34 felonies on top of that but not every Trump fan was looking for a fight some like this guy outside a court in New York expressed hope that we can come together to get past this not guilty I hope this hope the country doesn't burn down not guilty I hope that we could find a way to love each other and to make right this this this prostitution go yourself in your mother well well that didn't last long but in New York that's a it's an affectionate term and then we have our leaders in the GOP who could not care less about Americans and how important it is that we have faith in our legal system they know Trump is guilty they don't even like Donald Trump but they're so scared of him Ted Cruz was on our show in I think it was 2016 he told me and this is a quote he said this on television he said if I were in my car and getting ready to reverse and saw Donald in the backup camera I'm not confident which pedal I'd push okay but that Primal urge to run Trump over didn't stop sweaty teddy and all the other pathetic sicko fans jocking for lip Spates on his big pimply ass from pretending to be outraged by this incredibly Brazen attack on their beloved Baron von chits and pants an absolute sham trial when people here ask me what the heck is going on in your country I am ashamed this is the most outrageous travesty I've ever seen hey James comr you coward how about you subpoena judge Maran and his daughter get to the bottom of this sham trial this is a shameful political stunt perpetrated by Joe Biden unbelievable unfreaking believable we the people stand with Donald Trump this will be reversed on appeal we're doing a special podcast tonight to break it all down oh we won't want to miss that if you believe Donald Trump has been victimized please subscribe to Ted Cruz's podcast right now what a snail and then we heard from magot Teresa himself he held a doozy of a press conference this morning at Trump Tower he took no questions at the press conference and said he rambled like the drunken best man at a wedding you know isn't going to work this is uh a case where if they can do this to me they can do this to anyone uh do what your hair is that you should get your lawyers on whoever did that to you but in a way he's right they can do this to anyone they can do this to anyone who cheats on his wife with a porn star and then falsifies business records to keep her quiet so he can win a presidential election congratulations you finally understand what you were charged with and then he shifted into complete nonsense mode they want to raise your taxes by four times they want to stop you from having cars that's right it's going to be like The Flintstones folks you have to use your own feet to go places but go on Donald the judge allowed them to go into everything that I was ever involved in not this case everything that I was ever involved in which is a first in other words you could go into every single thing that I ever did was he a bad boy here was he a bad boy there oh yes quote Diddy good move right now that's bad boy for life and then he went back to the biggest lie of all of them one I can't even imagine even his most hardcore supporters believe this Preposterous claim that he had there was no interlude with Stormy Daniels at all they were able to use people salacious by the way and nothing ever happened there was no anything nothing ever happened and they know it yeah right she made the whole thing up you know what she did sry down she went back in time she snuck into his hotel room she took all her clothes off and she slipped in underneath him while he was napping to prevent him from one day being president it's diabolical this woman I'm going to tell you something she's an evil genius hush money hush money it's not hush money it's called the non-disclosure agreement so it's not hush money it's a non-disclosure agreement totally legal totally common everyone has it that's right you guys have them right I mean everyone has them my grandmother had dozens of them she would she'd give them out for Halloween that's I'm saying everyone has a Bentley everyone has you know how on Gilligan's Island gillig sometimes would get hit on a head with a coconut you remember you ever see this show G and then he act crazy for 20 minutes that's what the speech was like today but you know he's a SLE bag I wonder how many people here have cars yesterday in McDonald's you had a man hitting them up with with machetes we're going to fight magga we're going to stop mag you know I ended the Russian Pipeline it was dead we're begging Venezuela for oil the Congo has just released a lot of people from jail Congo Africa our kids can't have a little lead game anymore migrants are living in luxury hotels and I grab them around the neck and he rebuffed me and then I went to the other guy who I think is a black belt in karate he's a black belt in karate they know how to get somebody from around their neck I'm wired in such a way that a lot of people would have gone away a long time ago oh we're going to fight it's it's actually I don't know thank you very [Music] much it's interesting that he chose to play the insanity card after the trial he's got so many screws list Boeing might have to issue a recall so now that the trial is over comes the sad part which is the goodbyes Trump's attorney Todd blanch who's definitely not getting paid by the way this man was forced to take the opposite of a Victory lap on cable news last night blanch said uh Trump himself helped to direct his defense strategy which explains why it worked so well it was blanch his idea to not put Trump on the witness stand it was Trump's idea to sleep and fart through the whole trial but I get a kick out of Todd blanch he just stand there scowling while Trump yell he wouldn't say anything he always look like he looked like the guy waiting outside the bathroom sawall who really has to go and who would hire a lawyer named Todd I mean no offense but we have a dog named Todd I wouldn't hire him as my and with the trial now behind us we put together a short video to honor both Todds it's a disgrace to the New York state and city court system and all of the cases are frankly all of them are [Music] [Music] [Music] oh poor my T must be so jealous right now so Trump is scheduled to be sentenced on July 11th which is four days before the Republican National Convention also free slurpie day at 7-Eleven which should cheer him up it's weird that a convicted fell in probably the only job Donald Trump could get right now is president of the United States his team is milking these legal troubles for all their worth his campaign claims they raked in a little more than $34 million yesterday in donations it's a million per felony which had he known that he probably would have committed more of them Trump's people are also working to make sure he is the only one who makes money off this his campaign manager guy Chris Lita issued a warning to other candidates who try to jump on the Bandit wagon he wrote any Republican elected official candidate or Party Committee siphoning money from president Trump's donors are no better than judge maran's daughter we're keeping a list we'll be checking it twice and we aren't in the spirit of Christmas the only person who's allowed to cheat Trump supporters out of their lotto ticket money is Donald J Trump himself go out and commit your own felonies if you want them I have to say I'm surprised about the spirit of Christmas thing because Chris Las aita I don't know if you seen him he looks like if Santa Claus got queered they are so Shameless on Fox News this is incredible see if you can follow the thinking here Joe Biden shamefully is fundraising off of the political persecution of his opponent that tells you everything you need to know about this current regime that is in power so go to donaldjtrump.com support president Trump stand on the side of democracy and the worst part is she has no idea she said anything weird like they're too stupid to be Hypocrites at the White House City President Biden uh had uh Taylor Swift boyfriend uh Travis Kelce and the rest of the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs they gave him a helmet which he for some reason decided to put on and um now he he can't get it off he's going to going to have to bury him in that thing he did weigh in on the legal Foles today explaining in very plain terms that the trial was fair and that his opponent will be afforded every opportunity to appeal that's given to every defendant in every court of law and after careful deliberation the jury reached a unanimous verdict they found Donald Trump guilty on all 34 felony counts now he'll be given the opportunity as he should to appeal that decision just like everyone else has that opportunity that's how the American system of justice works and it's Reckless it's dangerous it's irresponsible for anyone to say this was rigged just because they don't like the verdict you know I didn't know I spoke sign language but I guess I do it Trump is headed home to his his Golf House in Bedminster for the weekend and then he goes on a big fundraising tour where he will share his message of Doom and Gloom under anyone but him you know back in 2020 when he was running he made a lot of dark predictions for what America will be like if Joe Biden was elected and turns out he's much better at at losing fortunes than telling them wrong Biden's plan will destroy 5 million jobs 353,000 jobs added in the first month of the year what a blowout report your 401ks and money itself will be worth the you might have noticed in the corner of your screen here the Dow has never been higher than this if Biden wins there will be no fracking no oil the United States is producing more oil than any country ever in history bankrupt your social security system senior citizens set to see a big bump in their Social Security checks you'll be locked down for years the covid-19 public health emergency in this country officially ending at midnight tonight if Biden won China would own the United States they would literally own the United States trade deficit with China was up under Donald Trump under Biden it's finally coming down there will be no school no graduations no weddings marriages are back to pre pandemic levels no Thanksgiving Happy Thanksgiving no Easter happy Easter no Christmases Merry Christmas America no Fourth of July happy 4th of July America other than that you're going to have a wonderful life [Music] [Applause]

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 4,564,581

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Monologue, Guillermo, Hollywood, Los Angeles, West Coast, Donald Trump, Trump Trial, New York City, Jury, Verdict, Guilty, Felony charges, POTUS, Trump, Eric Trump, Lakers, Melania, Roger Stone, Ted Cruz, Republicans, Politics, Press Conference, Todd Blanche, White House, Kansas City Chiefs, Joe Biden

Id: 7sfRPosZ8CU

Length: 14min 55sec (895 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 01 2024