TOTALLY ACCURATE Raccoon Simulator - Wanted Raccoon

oh hey everybody i'm blitz welcome to a game called wanted raccoon do you remember games like goat simulator maybe one called untitled goose game yeah i've got a guilty pleasure for games where you're devious furbearing creatures that have crossbows and skateboards and i've honestly not even not even opened this game up to play it yet i've just i just want to try and that raccoon is one foot eight inches tall all right buddy let's get into some trouble hold space to wake up look at my adorable little trash panda he's so cute get up buddy oh camera rotation obviously everyone knows how to do that oh i can walk around look at me i've got a little jacket on oh hey is that my friend look at me jump oh man so cute hey hey friend how are you old joe i'm gonna talk can they talk i can say good morning he's got glasses on there's the backpack take my backpack and find the squirrel there's a squirrel that needs help tree rats okay get can i have it oh i got a backpack on now this is amazing hello fellow raccoons why are there so many out in daytime do we have rabies there's a stealth mode why is there a stealth mode hello friendly squirrel oh hello i see you were in charge today like every day because i'm a raccoon i have a task for you but first take a mushroom from the stump and eat it um okay is it poisonous okay i did it use buttons okay i got button number one all right oh look at me i'm eating a mushroom it's strength restores okay i just wanna oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and then i can sprint aha nice can i have another mushroom oh balls no more mushrooms can i climb into the tree and no i can't climb into the tree good job now you're full can you help me collect some food for our friends okay i don't really want to but i gotta collect mushrooms in the clearing done don't you look at my jumping skills i'm amazing i can fly get me more of these i need all the mushrooms in the world look at me go the careful raccoon sneaks up on his prey to steal that mushroom ha ha i've done it why can't they feed themselves wait what there's a mole a vole some sort of weird ground squirrel creature with a strange nose do you need help collecting food today take some stones knocked i gotta throw rocks at the apples hot ding give me this how do i okay we right clicked and where's the tree there's the apple tree why can't i just climb it like raccoons can climb trees can't they ready i gotta know that was awesome give me that rock give me that rock get me hey wait give me the rock give me the apple don't sneak away from me apple if only real raccoons could learn how to throw rocks in real life that'd be terrifying can i throw the rock at the squirrel yes oh it just went through them that's too bad here's squirrel thanks for helping me collect the food wow those are giant mushrooms why are the mushrooms bigger than the apples pigeon should have returned from a flyby ask him if all is right in the forest wait what why would things not be right in the forest i need more rocks i just found my old rock that's even better okay we gotta go talk to pigeon hello my pigeon friend how are you today you look like a tree rat i don't like you well it's good that you came i have oh distressing news something strange is happening at the edge of the forest i think you and jack should have a look at that who's jack do you have a friend named diane something about the heartland country music hello jack hi you're entrusted with the back i was a pigeon saw something strange at the end of the forest let's go check with yourself there watch this forest is going to be like seven trees big oh look at the flowers they were blooming that was adorable oh okay they're gonna blow it up blow downs blowdoes isn't the word bulldoze the place down somebody is coming can i throw rocks at the bulldozers i i could probably throw rocks at them that's a bird people are hostile try to stay away i'm hostile to people i need my rock back i need my rock back give me that oh no run away oh dang they're here in my house they're up in my business hello jack oh no oh no why does that one have something on its head oh there there's those are cops look at them dance they got the moves run squirrel run squirrel this is weird i love it detection indicator okay we gotta talk to our friend looks like our home was taken away from us i will distract the people you free our friends they had cages okay you go dun dun dun dun stealth mission time dun dun dun dun stealth fishin time oh yeah look at him go he doesn't even know can i just sneak up on him dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun that guy he forgot he got a case of the dumbs in his legs hey hey open the door you're free you're free fellow friend oh there's more of us free the raccoons got you buddy let's get out of here thank you for rescuing me he still has buses on that's weird hide from people where do i go this way oh no no not a sniper sniper in the woods not old joe oh no oh joe's down sort of ring oh i'm down really i got sniped quest received dream time i don't know if i like dreams but i got my backpack back so all is better in the world and then this thing what does this thing do oh i got stones for days oh more stones got them all all by myself open my inventory wow all right then catch right square perfect man down stun the policeman i'm gonna pee on his face oh yeah oh i'm gonna bind him with my ropes can i steal his firearm that's what you get no he still has his gun here we'll get him real hard right in the face threading the eyeball i didn't do anything bring okay where's i need to pick up my rocks again give me that and we're gonna go for the rocks we're gonna grab that's a rock i was grabbing there but there's another one i feel like we need mission impossible music or we can just oh here dork face i like their ragdoll animation it's like fall over in the most uncomfortable position ever is going to free him i need to stop him why do these guys have so many guns why do we get why do they get to keep their guns oh no no right here hey catch ah yes yes oh wait what why am i in here now looks like i fell asleep again i don't understand this i become invisible to my opponents all right stealthy boy doing the stealthy boy things uh oh whoa jerk face he just kicked me busted oh i just spawned right there all right whatevs i gotta hide in a box now definition of trash panda going to box to hide in it look i'm a snake oh you crossed the road in the box [Laughter] this is great i like being in a box it's like huh why is there a box with a giant tail and that guy's like i forgot how the legs but my girlfriend likes me and she also forgot how to legs uh oh he's walking no i like his mutton shops they were nice why is she red now only because i was melting over her don't be suspicious don't be suspicious i'm a rat i feel like i'm gonna get driven over don't be suspicious don't be suspicious don't be suspicious don't be suspicious tate don't walk this time three meters two meters two give me a two do i see a two i see it too she's staring at me you can't touch me i crossed out of the box run i'm free be free my friend i can hide in trash cans laundry baskets and so on oh i like this why do i have to get in here though yeah oh cause he's gonna pick me up or something dude stacked he did not skip leg day he might have skipped leg day he didn't skip arm day that's for sure run run be free he ain't coming back do i get a steal i gotta search the van this isn't good why did i get put into oh i'm still in the am i still in the dream maybe i have to look around in my dream state now i'm in hot tank wait to be crashed i got my backpack again and a skateboard take the skateboard hold up press x to skate can i oh [Laughter] no way i'm on a skateboard i'm i didn't know raccoons knew how to skateboard can i do any sweet tricks like a kick flip up a bow i can jump that's about it can i do that the dodgy boy oh yes super fast mode ow okay yeah that was good i lost my skateboard get out of the height no no no i skateboard bro i need you i just have to we got to try this again here we go here we go this is a lot more difficult than it looks this is 90s music like that's that's the spot all right here we go go skateboard bro okay you know what um running's a good option running running is a great i really want to go over that though because that looked fun too bad my skateboard didn't it forgot how to work here we there we are all right high speed turn there's what is this oh oh oh extinguisher to raise wait what wait what whoa he's after me oh wow i'm flying okay i gotta go in the air and i'm going sonic fast sonic wasn't a raccoon that was a car i'm okay though i'm fine everything's somehow everything's better in life okay ready and fly mode yes oh never mind all right feel like we have some problems learning how to skateboard properly thankfully we're still in the tutorial for some reason and we got hit by a car but it didn't matter because the cars are squishy or something ah what are you doing man what are you doing go gotta go fast gotta go fast gotta go fast yes through the pipe through the pipe through the pipe that's not the right pipe this is very difficult you know let's just go through the where's my skateboard here we gotta line this up just right uh-huh and then yeah that was okay that was a little underwhelming not gonna lie i'm back i'm back again i'm trapped i'm finally understanding these flashback moments i'm back in the meadow and then we got captured and then now i don't know what is going on can i crawl in the garbage can don't be suspicious i'm just gonna go for it that lady doesn't know about me she definitely did not skip leg day or either that or her pants are like super baggy what is this oh no hello i need this i need a bagel bagels are good i need the adjustable wrench we call those crescent wrenches yes press e to spill water oh it took the coppo too yes i'm gonna go pee on his face not it's gross but now i can go inside the cop building oh hello what is this poor water from the water i'm gonna steal the rope i don't even know what i'm stealing but i just took it spill that water cooler uh-huh pour water all right it did it falling objects i'm gonna crash the tv down he's gonna slip and fall in the water nice get binded citizen and boop very good i tied you up i tied you up how do you like that now now we're really gonna pour water on your face we must go in here can i steal anything no open that door open open the door oh there's somebody there uh-huh use your gut assess the situ i can put traps down hold up is that what the bagel is for is the place down a trap oh what's this a conveniently placed rope trap i'm just you know what probably we shouldn't eat that donut okay rope trap number two two rope trap down that'll do the trick there we go place the trip wire under the door i think i did it you need to drop the base all right drop that base i didn't see that i'm gonna bind him up though nice and he's gonna just fly into his position good job haha gotcha there we go be free my friend be free old raccoon still get my backpack back i like that all right i get to i get to lockpick why do i get to lockpick uh-huh i played i played plenty of skyrim there we go there we go yes we're free hack the lock and exit oh he's coming for me can i can i get him oh i don't want to yet i got you okay ready inventory i don't have any rocks you don't care be free run oh he really don't care i'll close that door even though that old man is in there now i gotta go close the door this is weird man hide in a bush why because there's someone coming out wait until the guard passes then turn off the cameras can i bite them because i have rabies why do they they like animals so much why do they not like raccoons in the world i go i found more rope oh there's another rope trap i need that in my life mike i need that just pictures of raccoons this is weird is there anything else i can steal no i think i did it oh there is i can use that rope trap i need that in my life rope trap gotcha gasp there's a guy staring at me we're going bush mode here there's another box okay you don't see me i'm going in bow oh no he's coming after me i really need a food do you have food on you sir is that what that box is right there oh it's on the other side i wish i had a rope i would throw it at him so hard where was that this thing a pillow i want i don't know what i need to spell pillow for but i do know what i need donuts for donuts are for shoving it in my mouth hole yum yum yum i get him he's adorable he's levitating what a yummy it's my new favorite line what a yummy oh there's more donuts wait can i i can open up the doors wow i can can i hide in the doors i'm going in we're dropping they don't know where i am so sneaky right now i need one i want one here okay then i can use this as a jumpy platform very good got it i'm full of i'm full of donuts can i microwave one oh man i'm trapped in the doors run away the big boss perhaps i can find some information about my family what try to enter the bosses what okay i'm sure glad that this tutorial is telling us exactly where to go and what to do it's almost like i've never played a video game before football there we go and we're going to drop the tv is this like an hour long tutorial or is this just the whole game ah surprise got you and kennel worker binds you up like such as don't mind us over here guard at the desk table we're just gonna put everyone in in prison and stuff and i'm gonna steal their keys i wonder if he likes it that i'm eating a donut right in front of his face it's kind of like dabbing on the haters from like 2018 and here we see more animals that have been captured by this police force meerkats lions and giant pandas they have their own zoo in the back dude's got coffee let's spill it on his laptop take the documents very nice break the boss's chair what do i get to ride it i want to ride the boss's chair oh oh now we're going to make them fall off that doesn't even make sense footsteps hurting the corridor better to hide i'm going to hide in the bush he's going to come in and sit down on the chair and fall oh yeah look at this watch it's going to be funny oh wow uh-huh ragdoll that's what you get for offending raccoons i forgot that there was dialogue and bind you up police chief you need to look for more information on this table maybe the squirrel holding around her neck will give me information i can grab these cups now it would be a shame if i threw one at her hey lady you want a catch right between your eyes that looks comfortable what happens if i bind you like this do you get stuck in the chair even harder yep you do i need this information and by information i mean donut and here the boss of the kennel woke up you need to trace where he's going i bound him though how did he get out can i just jump in yeah leave the kennel we're riding along this is a nice city it's taking me to the zoo where the giant pandas are kept and by zoo i mean the boss's house do you have giant pandas in the basement we have these mountain villa houses over here with the giant beautiful scenery overlooking your neighbor's house and then skyscrapers in the background these houses do not belong here they belong in mountains yeah this guy totally how does he have such a rich house for being a police chief he's got servants here in his garden and lion statues he's definitely working in the trade of illegal animals maybe these children will tell me how good lion meat tastes attack wait i gotta talk to him look a raccoon i have rabies how can you help us get the ball out of the tree okay wait do i pick up rocks yes i do uh-huh catch that was good you don't need no kids around here no meddling children do we eat giant pandas if i keep hitting this one does he fall further into the ground no he literally can't be hit anymore do i need to learn you how to throw look you take it you throw it i don't even have thumbs wait do raccoons have thumbs they might and now i jumped into this multi-million dollar pool it looks like a natural pool i can swim because i'm a raccoon here you go small child with no legs have your ball back nice of this one to have a beautiful raccoon door that i don't even get to use oh but i got tools now i got a saw more donuts that's okay i have plenty yes the pile of skateboards my fave [Music] it seems that someone goes whoop down you will go he goes now can i use the hacksaw on him we must try for science purposes hello a rope is required for binding what about dismembering a very good child thank you for opening the door now i will find the giant pandas somewhere is this a giant panda no it's documents about where the giant pandas are kept something satisfying about destroying and stealing all of the pillows yes i'm a menace thank you thank you no wonder they're trying to put us all in jail and sell us on the black market i'll be just gonna be broken drop and torn oh i know that i've already been can i just sit here what do i need to use oh destroy the house there's a thousand items that i have to destroy here wait what you know what i'm gonna do a hard pass on this and uh we've become enough of a menace already so thanks for watching hope you enjoyed our episode today oh billiard balls that'd be fun to throw at people a wanted raccoon if you'd like to let me know and keep your stick on the ice we'll catch you next time and i'd like to thank everyone who signed up on patreon including ben ellen hagan dickie james apollo bunny auto dave eagle arc whippet good seraphin x dez bogger maxer zarnoff legacy jason mcfarland deegan paul longstone and raul and everyone who has clicked that join button down below to become a youtube channel member

Channel: Blitz

Views: 152,294

Rating: 4.9655819 out of 5

Keywords: blitz, wanted raccoon, wanted raccoon game, wanted raccoon gameplay, raccoon, animal, animal game, animal simulator

Id: JDrvHlNDZ74

Length: 21min 30sec (1290 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 18 2021