Tim Hawkins 2009 NWMC Highlights

benda on fire on YouTube and I just praise God for that because what a great way to show so many people that are that are the internet generation that Christians do have a sense of humor and that there can be a tremendous amount of of laughter being shared now the creative juices has been flowing he's got three new projects he's got a booth on the main floor right outside to the right but without any further ado let's cut him loose mr. Tim Hawkins thank you okay I'll take that as a standing ovation thank you you crazy Washingtonians good to be back okay it's my third year here thanks for cleaning up around here thanks for doing the I'll do it now just sit there don't worry it's just me fantastic see Gary Dickson again Gary yes or as I call him the missing Kennedy uh I asked not what this conference can do for you dunny okay whatever let's move on you guys are still like in tears great great thanks for let me follow mr. chan appreciate that it's a great place to be give everything a little more Jim has a table bringing me I know it's my third year back it's good to be back it's almost you could say I've come full circle and you'd also say my career is going absolutely nowhere you could say that too it's very sad I've just come off of two years of backsliding and uh not really joke but just laugh when you feel like it appreciate that I seriously like every night for two years is like drunkenness and foul language and fighting and then I finally quit church softball and it's it yeah you know what I'm talking about nothing will display the fall of man like slow pitch softball you know exactly what I'm talking about yes you do this way I know I'm in Washington every time I heard somebody coffee I smell salmon that's weird what is that about you people need to try a burger or something okay it's fantastic uh I am a comedian uh yes and bunch of redneck still have your Christmas lights up I saw that that's really nice a bunch of rednecks up here so you got your bulletproof shield for the drummer what is he getting death threats back there what people shooting at the drummer good deal I was actually I used to be I used to be an awesome Christian heavy metal bands send guns and Moses isn't that one uh twisted scripture I was in that for a while deaf Shepherd I don't know if you've heard of them Ozzy Osbourne again that was another one I kind of like oh yeah rock on you bunch of hippies you bunch of Greeners that's all you people are green or Christians I love you I love you good deal people ask me where I get my material it's very easy I just look around and make notes that's all I do it seriously I used to make stuff up now it's just look around go to church you know what I'm saying seriously really the church is just wonderful you know those Christians we have our own breath mints now have you seen them the Testaments what are we doing what is going on it's yeah are we winning people to Christ with a breath mint is that what we have subjected ourselves to such your breath knows fantastic tell me about this Jesus that is a holy wind which doth blow from that gob that Mormon has halitosis I want what you've got man that is special I love going to church there's so much to laugh at man it really is I love listen to people pray the quirky ways that people pray you ever heard these guys pray icon thesaurus prayers they pray like a thesaurus like Lord GLaDOS guide it's direct us pretty much means the same thing Roche you wanna Lord Gardens protect us watch over us finish wrap it up conclude I'm hungry emaciated starving let's go I want to go to Denny's IHOP Arby's moving along Spurgeon there's some stuff we got to stop doing in the church when we hold hands before we pray for food let's stop doing the squeeze at the end what do you say let's stop doing that you're freaking people out in Jesus name Amen squeeze I have a Christian that's why I squeezed you stop doing that cuz praying praying is hard enough it is hard to pray and they're like out loud in front of people I mean it's very important but it's intimidating you ever been in a small group praying in a circle and like you're the next one and the guy before you is just setting the bar way too high you know what I'm saying he's throwing in the Old English Val Val D how does the Lord Val Val involves out thou then sings my soul my sake you're sitting there of how am I supposed to top that dear Lord Evan Lee God keep it up I don't squeeze I'm done I'm finished I love pastor Qian when he's talking about the Bible I love the Bible it's just so you just can't box it up it's just so wild and I think so many people who work with people with children need to watch some of the stuff you know weird mild lot the Bible is really not a family-friendly book wow that stuff is pretty intense you know what I'm talking about that's why I never understood these parents who like paint Noah's Ark in their kids rooms what is the thinking there daddy what are you doing I'm painting the story of Noah's Ark you know where God sends a worldwide flood to kill every living thing help me out grab a brush paint some screaming people on that rock over there look in the bathroom I painted the stoning of Stephen you're gonna love it in the basement I'm thinking of a leprosy motif yeah my goodness oh I'm almost done I can't I got minute what is this clock somes gonna explode I got a clock this year I love it but we gotta watch some of the stories we read your kids we're freaking them out that's why they don't want to go to bed really when I was four years old my mom used to read me the story um what was it called um uh the jacket a beanstalk remember Jack and the Beanstalk my mom would read that to me I was four in the dark yeah I mean it was about a cannibal it's not a giant who eats children that what's the Sun remember that part fee fie foe fum I smell the blood of an Englishman be he alive or be dead I'll dry his bones to make my bread you want another story no I want another diaper this one's pretty much full capacity Vincent Price thank you I gotta go I'll be I'll see you later I'm I got to go take my medication you

Channel: Northwest Ministry Conference Seattle

Views: 277,760

Rating: 4.8424325 out of 5

Keywords: timhawkins, ministryconference, nwmc, nwmc2009

Id: Y3Q2j59ubLE

Length: 8min 38sec (518 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 18 2009