Tim Hawkins at FBC Wylie, Tx

I know we got some Baptists in here we got other denominations don't we what are the nominations do we have Methodist okay what else what else women's are called I don't have a joke I get through what else none none just none I don't know what I am I don't even think I'm here right now I'm a figment of your imagination comedy boy nondenominational you're not fooling anybody just means you're a Baptist Church with a cool website that's all that means you're just a little more relevant than the bad news whoo-hoo our pastor preaches barefoot yeah our worship guy has a tattoo you just had a little name change you know you're still a Baptist Church we used to be first independent fundamental Baptist now we're tapestry we think a lot of crits Tom one it's Jam mmm what else Lutheran Church of Christ I should have played my guitar backwards for you what else I'm just being serious what else what Jewish okay well people if you can't laugh at yourself laugh at Jewish people that's what I say we got any Catholics yes Catholics love to laugh they don't clap a lot they usually a drink in their hand let your reference number - this is ridiculous get the kids in the minivan I can't take it it's all booze and midgets with this guy get him out of here hold the baby's ears we got any Mormons yes I saw your bikes outside thanks for coming that's awesome you probably started out a couple days ago move it let's go we're gonna be late come on Jedediah move it we're gonna come on honey honey honey honey let's go haha oh no you gotta laugh at that that's hysterical oh my goodness you gotta keep it real keep it real be oh my goodness just so fun oh man that's awesome and it's so cool and you know I uh you know we make jokes about that and liquor reference and all that kind of stuff but I kids here in just to be straight with you guys kids you don't need alcohol or drugs to have a good time okay period just to let you know you don't need it man just make up your mind right now we need all your brains okay God has blessed you you got a computer made out of meat in your head that's pretty amazing don't mess with it man make a decision right now cuz you're gonna have people all through your life trying to influence you just make them make around no no I had people all through my life come to him on you'd be so boney hammered now I would love to see you drunk mana but you're so funny wasted like mom leave me alone gosh close the door gosh I'm only eight I'm trying to color get out of here you hippie you don't need it it's so cool we have lots of different denominations here I just love that man it's a feel some unity it's great and I know we got a lot of devotees have different worship styles you know different ways of worship in the Lord and I think they're all valid some people are more subtle some people more energetic I think it's totally cool whatever you want to do I go to a church it's pretty expressive in worship well we it's it's a hand-raising Church that's what it is we raise our hands and worship anybody here go to a hand raising Church anybody here not go to a hand raising Church anybody like some of your trying you're like I can't gonna get some momentum here Wow that's totally cool but if you don't go to a hand raising Church you want to check it out feel free to join us but don't feel like you had a join right in okay start slow warm-up because there's a lot going on at a hand raising Church a lot of different hand raises that we have we actually have names for them I'm gonna walk you through real quick the hierarchy of hand raises that we have say you're my church music is rocking you're excited start slow warm up hands in the pockets elbow flap you're fine warm up get the heart rate up when you're warmed up start with the first one ready carry the TV carry the TV that's our first one very subtle go to big screen big screen next one's my fish was this big my fish is this big a little higher hold my baby hold my baby okay dueling light bulbs that's another one we lied okay go up to goalpost you're a goalpost everybody knows go throw in a variation throwing a heartburn heartburn either side double heartburn right back to goalpost look how far we've come one of my favorites Mufasa I love Mufasa the circle of life or dead no bad oh you can even go higher than that with one hand try a bunch of stuff pointer hatchets cool room release the doves high-five the Lord press it out lot of women like to wash the window wash the window we're you comfortable there go for the big three Village People rocky touchdown there you go that's your big three and you will be a pro you know but it's not gonna be perfect that's the deal worship is not perfect you know and because we're just humans we're just trying to do our best you know that's just that's the way it goes see I think I think worship is a little too perfect these days I want to bring back some of the old stuff we used to use in worship you know power point is too perfect I want transparencies again some of you freaks remember worship with transparency so bring back the day yeah yeah these are doing with marker they'd always put them on backwards soon she lava no see that no cleavage Nick nail snip snip snip mimics a mother is this Russian Orthodox were singing am i a communist now it was always the worst speller that did the transparencies like Magister II wasps rip his Magister II some time to go up on the ceiling unto J do bubble ooh is this the matrix what's happening sometimes they take a sheet of paper just reveal one line at a time at all oh the suspense is killing me what's the good Lord gonna do next I knew it you remember bring it back I don't know it's not perfect and if you're a worship leader here tonight you do the modern star worship I don't know I love you guys whatever I just help me help you help us I'm not coming down on you can you just do a couple things that'll help us out a little bit first thing um I mean you wonder why men don't sing a lot in church you know I think I know why a lot of songs you're right in these days worship songs it's got a female's way of expressing love you know and men and women express love differently that's all we don't get into it that's not how we express love you know and a lot of songs - you're like you know I want a thief there I want to touch your face I want to get to know ya and guys are just like I mean I love him I don't want to touch his face that's creepy come on dude I got visitors don't make me do that and that's cool just write a few songs that men can worship to watch the game with me Lord let's see here in silence no talking or questions and fall asleep halfway through get me a coke from the fridge Lord bring me a coke from the fridge bring me some nachos with jalape-- I would go to that church in a heartbeat come on worship leaders help us out need to mix in a few more hymns cuz at least with hymns you know when the song is over you know hymns you could plan your day around to him first second fourth verse amen sit down some worship songs you don't know when they're gonna end good thing you have a chair in front of you like I could think of your love for a bar I could sink in minutes later I could think are we gonna sing of his love really poor I love Jesus we got to go we got tough to do father I'm tired I'm just gonna lay here prostate before your prostrate or whatever it is what is it prostate or prostrate I don't know oh that are so important oh you don't you judge me you don't know what it is either you've done singing the top of your lungs let angels prostate ball gods like what are you singing to me that's not how it goes brother Tim angels come here they're singing about your prostate you don't know what it is either you but you come on don't judge me oh my goodness I love and I grew up in the Baptist Church man I just I and a lot of clock comedians have a bad they don't like God because they just had a bad church experience and I was stuck just the opposite I had a great church experience you know I just did there's people I met in church and still to this day I know we're not perfect but man I just got so much love you know genuine love and joy and the Baptist Church is just which is great um I just love it so much there's laughs you just laughter everywhere in the Baptist Church you know and in any church is you know not perfect you go there long enough you're gonna find you know I mean any church is like you know the strawberries you buy in the see-through plastic carton the top ones are red and plump you turn it over they're all dead Jesus don't like jobs but I love church I love I mean going to like prayer Ally having prayer meetings and little circles of Prayer people at prayer requests are hilarious because in every circle there's always one guy that tells you way too much and another guy doesn't tell you nothing at all one guy you know more about his wife's problems than anyone should know like dude just say she needs prayer from the neck down God knows I haven't had breakfast yet come on sir and then there's the other guy doesn't tell you nothing he's the guy with the unspoken regret I can't tell you what it is it's an unspoken request if I told you your heads would explode you spiritual midgets and I love the Baptist Church because we used to have I don't know gay I'm here we had altar call every week inviting people to Christ to come to the altar and a lot of pastors do this my pastor used to do this when I was a kid and I loved him but a lot of pastors lie on the altar call cuz they say they're not going bearish yeah but they always do it's like every head bowed ever how close no one's here to embarrass you no one's looking and you know you were looking young well that dude gets saved every week what's his deal the guy with the unspoken he's a freak what's going on ever head bowed every eye closed we're not here to embarrass you no one's looking but if you prayed that prayer with me just now every head bowed every eye closed I want you to do this I want you to slip your hand up right where you are you're like where else am I gonna slip my hand up over there no right where you are right where you are you do the countdown yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes all over the room yes I'm like I don't see no hands at all pastor you're totally lying I'm just seeing a flat horizon there yo unless they got thin arms nothing all right all right here's the deal he'd always do this all right I know I know there's one more we gonna squeeze it out of you today we're gonna sing 80 more verses of just as I am to one of you heathens comes to Christ yes you in the back there's always someone in the back it's probably an usher ah wrap it up that's fun but it's fun I appreciate you all coming out tonight man I yeah it's fun thanks Amy and I know I know I appreciate it I mean I know that's a big sacrifice there's a lots to do on Wiley on a Friday night so I appreciate the sacrifice I really do I mean a lot less cows are going to be tipped so I really do appreciate you guys I know 1,200 less people at Walmart I really do appreciate you guys coming out this is a lot of fun

Channel: fbcwylievideo

Views: 366,958

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Id: y-b53LDF8AI

Length: 16min 4sec (964 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 25 2012