The Waiting Game

all right I'm coach Cory Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the top of this newsletter is going to be the waiting game I've got it for actually have five emails that I'm going to go through today friend first one's going to be a woman and she's basically asking what she can do to let a guy know that she's interested so he goes about asking her out on a date because it sounds like he's a little clueless and can't get the subtle hints that she's been trying to give him but before I get into what I got a quote I'd like to share with you that I wrote and it says in life sometimes we have to play the waiting game by being infinitely patient when it comes to love successful negotiations and getting what we want when we continue to pursue the things people and circumstances we want instead of letting them come to us after expressing our desire without attachment we actually push them away from us because the very nature of pursuing is to demonstrate what you don't have and what you lack once you can do without what you want you then create the space for what you want to choose you back and effortlessly manifest in your life so let's go ahead and get into this first email and this is from a woman she says hi Cory I am new to the pursuing AI scene but I found someone I'd like to pursue and need some advice I think I have the case of the guy who is clueless to subtle hints that I'm interested in him I hear that so much from women that I coach the biggest complaint they have is guys don't know how to act like guys they either act like total [ __ ] or they're [ __ ] or guys basically the ones that they really like seem to be taken or they turns out that they're gay so he said she says could you give me some ideas on what to text him or what to do so it's not too much but that he he'd at least register the hint well that's part of the problem is women obviously most of time tend to talk in innuendos and give examples and hoping that he'll be able to read between the lines and figure things out but as guys we logical brains we're kind of let's blown things why I like to say that men are like dogs and women are like cats because like with a dog you guys ace it lay down roll over don't [ __ ] on the carpet that kind of thing and so a simple way that you could say something to him just like she says you know or maybe do you have some text conversation starter ideas now if you got his number and you want to text him a simple thing that you can say to them is if you want him to ask you out you could say this say his name is Bob hey Bob this is Samantha just wanted to let you know I think you're an incredibly handsome man or you're really handsome whatever is that you think about him obviously and I would really like it if you have invited me out for drink or ask me out to dinner because I'd love to go with you something simple like that and all he has to do is say hey Samantha why don't we go to dinner when are you free something simple like that because talking in circles and hoping he figures it out is if you can make things totally abundantly clear because obviously you're the one asking me for advice and he's probably closed like a lot of guys artists make it obvious like that and you can do it through the text and at the end the day if he likes you he'll invite you out and if he doesn't he'll say thanks but no thanks she says what a guy's like and respond to well in being pursued subtly by women well I know it's personally nice woman said looks at looks you're right in the eye and says you're so [ __ ] hot I mean I love that but you know it's rare I've also found that when I say things like that to women most of the time they're absolutely shocked because no man has ever talked to them in that way what a guy looks her right in the eye and says you got [ __ ] unbelievable body most of the time the response to that is what they're just shocked they're stunned that I would have the balls to say something like that publicly especially if there's other people around but sustained on my heart it's a statement of what I want it's a statement of my sexual desire and now even if she's in a relationship and I invite her out for a drink she's always going to have at least something positive and she's going to be you're flattered and she's going to thank me for it but that's the best we guys like that so if you like this guy just come right out and tell him you think he's handsome err you think he's hotter you think he's amazing and you'd love to go out with them and it'd be nice so I'd really like it if you'd invite me to dinner I'd really like it if you asked me out it's all you got to say you know it's nice when a woman has the confidence to do that or a woman you know I like when a woman just comes right out and asked me for my name and even takes my number then she gets in touch with me hey why don't we meet out for a drink I got a lot of women over the years that do that it's nice but it's very rare and we like that and you know at the end the day because I talked about 10% of my audience as women most of the guys gonna be clothes like this and so if you don't want to wait around for the guy to figure it out because society says oh the woman shouldn't pursue she shouldn't do that even though most women like to do those things go ahead and do it so she says I don't think I have the balls to ask him on a date outright but I'm not sure what else to do like I said the simple way to go about is just let him know that you think he's handsome or you'd like to go to dinner you'd like him to invite you out sometime for dinner that'd be really great or you'd like him to take you out sometime or you'd like him to invite you out on a date the clearer you can become because remember us guys were logically brained so be completely blunt and that we all go oh okay she really likes me then so the here's a second email I got and this is from a guy he says my girl went back to her ex-husband I think he has been working a get your ex back program because he's gone from you did this to me and you did that to me too it's my fault and I understand now why you broke up with me she said one thing you understand is because this particular woman was obviously married this guy so she had a lot of time together with him so she had a lot probably a few years to build up a strong emotional bond and by the time you met her she was on the way out but at the end of the day a woman who's just getting out of a long-term relationship like that a remote is going to be all over the ice and deep down she would wish that it's gonna work out with with him and if the guy starts doing things right especially if he's found out about my work then even if your game is totally tight she still may dump you and go back to him just because she has an emotional bond with him it formed over several years and you she's only known for a matter of weeks or a matter of months he says he's been making all the right moves lately out of the blue and he's a [ __ ] guy and I want her with me well no amount of you wanting her is gonna make her change her mind he says she broke a date that she made with me an hour before to go be with him she is at present back and forth and in their last encounter did not seal the deal he says I've had zero contact with her in the past three days and I plan not to contact her till she does good that's the only thing you could do at this point because she ditched you she blew you off to go back with her ex-husband in your attitude that's part of not being attached to it like I shared in the quote as having a take-it-or-leave-it type of attitude just like the woman whose email answered earlier it's throwing it out there letting the guy know that you're took that she's totally open to him inviting around on a date and then it's up to him to do the rest and like in this particular case because it takes two to make the relationship work she's actually pushing you away at this point and it's just like what Adam Carolla says when a woman likes you it's like she makes it easy she just starts opening the doors and all you really got to do is walk through them but if they start shutting in your face which is obviously what's happening now just turn around and walk away with the attitude of hey give me a call if it doesn't work out I'd love to see you again and that's all you can do because if this guy's been screwing up there's a good chance that he'll start to screw up in the future even if it's a month or so from now but in the meantime that's why you need to have other options you need to move on with your life especially if you're just learning this stuff so you don't get all emotionally wrapped up and hung up on her he says then she can apologize to me in person which is my plan it's like don't do that hang out have fun and hook up hang out have fun and hook up where is their hangout have drama and hookup that's not going to help your case being butthurt that she went back to her husband it's like you should have the ticket or leave it kind of attitude you'd love to have her but she goes back to her husband hey I hope it works out maybe you guys can make it work this time but if it doesn't give me a call because I think you're absolutely [ __ ] amazing and I'd love to see you again and then you go on about your life and you forget about her that's the best thing that you can do he says what do I do at this point other than wait I what do I ask what do I say when she contacts me he's I preferred to be all in person whatever it may be psi won a few battles here as she as he may he may be losing the war so to speak we can't look at it this way she reaches out to you and she calls you assume she wants to see hey babe great to hear from you I'd love to see you when you're free to get together next make a date hang out have fun and hook up that's it keep it really simple don't complicate things because if you complicate things and you start getting pissed off and you want to apologize and kiss your ass think about is that going to make her feel good or is it going to make her feel like [ __ ] and if you make a woman feel like [ __ ] when she's with you were talking to you that's what she's going to associate with you and that's not going to create a trash is could create the exact opposite you want to create the space where she has the freedom to kind of come and go and if the husband starts pursuing because he feels like he's losing her he'll drive her right into your arms and you just hang back and catch her as she runs into your arms there was a third email guy says hey Cory he says I'm writing for Portugal I'm a huge fan of your work and I need your coaching advice he says I actually sent an email to you a few weeks ago but now I need an emergency email response because it involves the girls birthday's coming soon he says so long story short I went into no-contact mode starting last week of August with this girl I liked who I met a couple of months ago while she was working for my company he says after she refused to go out with me two times offering lame excuses and no counteroffer well at that point all you can say is like hey I would only ask once that particular girl just flat-out turns you down and doesn't bring up any other day I would just maybe she's got a boyfriend maybe there's some other dude in the background it's just just say hey let me know if you change your mind again that's part of having no attachment meaning you are totally cool with either possibility you'd love to hang out and get to know her and you'd love to see her but if you don't that's totally cool as well that gives her the freedom to bounce and go wherever she wants to but when you continue to pursue you are just stating just like I shared the quote earlier in the video that you don't deserve what you want that you lack something and the universe and women will obviously agree with you but if you have it take it or leave it kind of attitude hey I'd love to see you hey okay let me know if you change your mind either either way either either possibilities acceptable to you he says at this point I must add that we spent considerable time together got along great talked about many things shared personal experiences and she seemed into me even though I played it cool and he says and I only invited her for a date the second week and outside of work environment but you're ignoring the fact that she still said no it's like no amount of you liking her is going to make her want you you deserve to have somebody who wants you back you have to give her the space to want you back and it choose you as well it has to be a mutual thing you can't force cajole Corral or what's the word twist her arm into making her like you if she's not willing to make the effort hey give me a call if ginge in mind I'd love to see you I think you're amazing he says we're both single according to herself and she's very picky with men and hasn't had a boyfriend in more than a year and a half he says so after only one week of no contact she started to do unusual things on her facebook profile which she knows for a fact through our conversations that I used to check every now and then I did not react in any way shape or form I was basically a ghost and kept being so so the weeks after that while those unusual post kept appearing every now and then on Facebook he says early last week out of the blue she sent a text message to my sister just saying hello and blowing a kiss to both of us my sister just replied everything's great business is great and I'm fine and kisses back so he says two days went by and she contacted me through my company's Facebook page which she knows I manage and see replying to a personal message containing a video of her on a job that she did that she's really kind of ashamed of that she thought really sucked and it was a video light Center a month ago to which she replied before saying look at that please don't tell anyone about that bad video I did yeah a lot of models and actresses have you know some of the early work that they're like that really sucks and most models and actresses tend to be very insecure about themselves including performers and musicians and I have to coach a lot of those people he says I replied two days later with I promise to keep it a secret but I won't take responsibility if my sister has seen it because at this point you've asked her twice she shot you down both times and so what you need to do at this point is nothing unless she brings up the two of you getting together you're going to say nothing at this point and that was an appropriate response he says she replied that same day with you better hope not he says I replied Monday which she has seen it and she applied that same day with lucky me and minutes before she replied that she created an event on Facebook about her birthday and she invited only personal friends or family and obviously my company's profile or my facebook company's Facebook page he says I didn't reply to her last message on Facebook since I wouldn't know what to say and that conversation couldn't get us anywhere I also didn't RSVP to her birthday invitation yet those kinds of things I totally [ __ ] ignore that bullshot face because I'm always getting game requests because my personal facebook I got close to 2,000 people on there and it's like probably ten times a day I got hey so-and-so invited you to join poker this or game you know with this [ __ ] games like I don't pay attention that [ __ ] and most people ignore that stuff as well so what I would do if I were you is I would ignore it act like you never even saw it because if she really wants you to come to her birthday party she can text you she'll get in touch with you I think what you're doing here is you're kind of grasping at straws you're trying to look for a reason to contact her and it's just a bad way to go she turned you down she said no when you asked her out you're you should walk had never looked back he says her birthday's next Monday but her dinner party has only scheduled the following week and even though I went no contact I always knew I was going to contact her on her birthday because on my birthday this past July she contacted me through a chat service on her mobile phone while I was traveling abroad to wish me a happy birthday this girl shot you down and she turned you down it's like you're not her boyfriend or nothing you barely know her there's no point in chasing or going hey happy birthday again you want her to start reaching out to you and pursuing you you want her to be bolder she really wants to see you she's going to hear you coming to my birthday party I said you ignored that RSVP she may - and go here you got to come to my birthday party and you say are you inviting me and if she says yeah I'd really like you to be there I was like okay well I'll definitely come I'll bring a bottle of wine then after the party's over you and I can hang out we got a few glasses of wine together or champagne or whatever he says I also feel now that if I want to shop with this girl and I do I must attend the birthday party because I know for a fact that she is told talk talked about me to her friends and family and not showing up with sorted result in them saying to her that I didn't care enough you're you're bullshitting yourself dude you're kind of filling in the blanks here a little bit if the girl really likes you she'll go out of your way to let you know that she wants you there remember she blew you off you asked her out twice and she said no you're ignoring that you got a look at what a woman's actions are you're reading too much into this situation he says I'm a little bit because when you do this when you just like do nothing you're and you do nothing you're you're totally you're in action it's actually can create attraction and it's like a game of poker she'll reveal her cards she'll do a little bit more than she's been willing to do up until this point is I'm a little confused on how to handle the present situation I feel like we've estimated a no-contact until next week and then card a wish or a happy birthday and confirm that me and my sister's presence of the third dinner party then play it cool and see how it goes I wouldn't do anything I would just ignore the dinner invitation like you haven't seen it if she brings that like oh and I'm sorry I don't really check those things I get so many game requests and BS is like I don't check that things are you inviting me or you want me to be there is what it mean a lot to you if I came ask for those things and she says yeah I really want you to be there was like great then I'll be there he says how about going to the birthday party you think I'm writing going no I don't you want her to go out of your way to let you know that it's important that you're there and then if that's the case then hang out have fun and hook up at some point in the birthday party so that's what I would do if I were you so here's the fourth email guy says hey Cory I moved in this house about a year ago and over time I like this guy's daughter she gave me all the all of the ghost signals body language laughing at my jokes etc but but I did nothing because I because of fear rejection and staying at the same place as her would make me feel awkward she's hanging out she's touching you it's like dude make a [ __ ] move it's like when a girl is that obvious to you and you do nothing you make yourself look weak and like you have no confidence when she's flicking her hair run her fingers through her hair touching your arm sitting close to you on the couch why were her knees touching airs it's like she's physically contacting you just look over go I think you need to get over it can kiss me right now and you just look at right in the eyes and you say nothing chilli your smile and kiss you or she'll start talking and coming up with an excuse either way it doesn't matter and you just say are you just afraid that you're a lousy kisser is that the problem because we can practice all night I promise you by the time we get done practicing you'd be a great kisser he says I made a deal with her that if I achieve my goals I I get a good and I play 12 songs in the bass guitar to her by December of this year she agreed to kiss me in her sexy nightie he says if I lose I buy her an iPod come on man that's like a bribe for sex it's like that's like a total puss off' ID way of going about it I'm sorry I do but that's just brutally honest this girl's giving you sync signals and even do anything make a move is when I look at things so I feel like my opportunity might have been lost I'm the one chasing ya and I feel everything I do is a goal to get her interested I new car play guitar etc it's like yeah you're pursuing you're chasing everything you do is a demonstration of what you don't have that's why you should be inviting other girls over to come over hang out have fun hook up and then when the girl is gone she's like so what's going on with that girl like why are you a little jealous well no it's like well then why'd you bring it up it's like I think you're just jealous it's like well if you want a shot you better kiss me right now because otherwise you know you snooze you lose have fun would that be playful what's the worst she can do she'll need a kiss she won't if she brings something up like that it means she likes you he says the fact is I know she's put barriers up even though she's willing to kiss me for that bet the kiss was my hope of going further it's like dude it's a [ __ ] bribe for a kiss he says I've only read a little bit of what I found on of you on the internet buying your book he says I'm actually gonna be moving away to another part of the city with the goal of maybe that she will miss me it will hurt a bit but it could be best for me like said that you know when you're hanging out with her and she's doing all this things she's touching you just need to make a move the way you're going about it is just totally [ __ ] weak it's kind of like a middle schooler would act it's like come on dude it's time to [ __ ] man up and let your balls drop now here's a fifth email this guy says I have a problem at work with a female that maliciously teases me and what I mean by that is she will greet me or say goodbye in a various obvious flirtatious manner make eye contact and stares at me as if though she is in love with me but is completely no-nonsense business like that everywhere in between she doesn't even ask me how I'm doing no small talk etc and will exploit the slimmest opportunity to be mean and nasty me when you even handle something like that it's like when she's staring at you you could say if I didn't know better I'd say you were a little sweet on me I think you've got a little bit of a crush on me it's like you know you need to stop holding back just reveal your feelings and tell me how you feel about me you think I'm awesome mansome and just go ahead and ask me out for a date or meet you out for a drink they just sit there and talk all that's not true is like whatever you know you like me you think I'm hot then you just go back to working and if she's mean to you you could say you know what when I was a little boy in the playground and when I lo girl be mean to me like you're being me right now it always meant that what it really was going on is she had a crush on me and she wanted to kiss me so what are you waiting for be playful with her like that he says she'll go out of her way to find me and run the same mixed-signal routine every time she sees me he says and when I confront her about it I asked her why is she doing it have I done something to offend you it's like oh come on dude it's like that just shows that you have no idea you're totally clueless he says she just plays dumb while she said she's looking at me as if though she's deeply in love with me and act in acting and toying with me she says besides making the mistake of holding eye contact with her for a little too long one time when I got the job about seven months ago she's very attractive well obviously you took the time to write me and in book a email coaching he says I never had been anything but business with this one but all of a sudden hostility for months now and she won't say for what he something simple you could do at work is like hey what are you doing this weekend oh I'm going with my girlfriends or I'm doing this and doing that like oh cool well hey I'm going town town with a bunch of friends of mine if you and your girlfriend's have to be down there once you shoot me a text or something maybe we can meet up have a drink together simple is there she likes you to go oh let me get your number and if she doesn't you go oh yeah I'll give you text it she won't pull out our phone and get your number and then that way you know it's easiest way to do it without risking anything worrying about sexual harassment or whatever he says I can't prove what she is doing so I can't go to human resources with accusations according to an attorney she says ignoring her does not work and she is escalating hostilities so I figured I would bounce this off you'd see if you had a experience on how to deal with this and diffuse is to get this woman off my back before I lose my job it's like dude it's like [ __ ] relax just to do any one of the possibilities I share with you that's the easiest way to go about it and to Buster and teaser playfully it's like you want to act as if of course you know she's got a crush on he's like that's why she's staring at you and she's being mean to you it's like like I said it's like just like little kids in the player that's what they do they tease each other sometimes they're mean to each other it's just that's their playful way of expressing that they like one another and Colorado and that'd be playful about it we're saying she could say his own no I don't like whatever well when you change your mind let me know and stop torturing yourself then next time she's over standing next to yous like well you decide to stop torturing yourself did you come over to ask me out it was like what were you doing why'd you come over and just say like that it'd be fun to be playful about it that's all you know risk she's coming to you she's getting any your space there's no reason for her to be there like that's the best way to handle those situations hear that or just give up to already do reach out to you if she's doing something fun of the weekend she does she'll pull out her phone and she'll get in text video she'll text you over the weekend if she texts you just say hey what's happening how are you oh I'm doing great how are you I'm doing awesome so I suppose you want to get together and you send that and then she'll say yeah sure great how about drinks my place 8 o'clock and then Center your address Julie just say yes for she'll say no that's all you got to do keep it really simple so if you'd like to get my help personally a quickest way is to do email coaching or phone or Skype coaching and you can select any one of those options by going on my website click the products tab which will be the top your screen on any page of my website and follow the instructions and I will talk to you soon you

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 664,267

Rating: 4.8107719 out of 5

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Id: PIcl_SFvsx8

Length: 26min 19sec (1579 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 25 2013